Hey, everyone, sorry for the late update. I lazed off on the last part, hence the delay.
So, I'm starting to sort of lose interest in this story; first because there are parts that I think are too illogical, which I find difficult to explain. And second, because every time I try to make a new chapter, it just doesn't end up the way I want it to.
I'm not planning to give up on this yet, although updates might be slower.
The Amazing Transformation Of A Sue
. . .
4. Appearance of the Sue
"Let the Un-Sueing begin!" Gokudera declared with utter conviction as if he were about to declare a state of war. "Change the Sue's appearance!"
"Oh! Make-overs…" Chrome exclaimed excitedly (if a neutral-looking expression counts as excitement. Because in reality a 'neutral' expression (which is normal for everybody else) is an excited Chrome and an 'excited' expression is a really, REALLY pumped-up, psyched-out, excited Chrome… ya know?)
Because after all, Chrome was a girl, and despite living in a place that was a few more litters from becoming a dump, and with a group of smelly teenage boys (excluding M.M 'cause she was too busy getting worked up with her jealousy of Chrome and Mukuro's closeness to even notice her) Chrome enjoyed these little girly things, even though she was technically about to do it with guys.
"To the salon!" Gokudera commanded after a few moments of the author explaining totally useless stuff later.
And with the super awesome teleportation powers of this story, the group had found themselves, in guess what? A salon! And since the group needed the salon all to themselves to save the trouble of having to explain to everyone what the hell was exactly happening, they found themselves in an empty salon. Completely functional, including all the instruments the group needed for their free use.
(Everything stated above was made possible by the sponsorship of downright ridiculous crack. Terms and conditions may apply.)
"Wow…" Yamamoto trailed off, absolutely stunned at the whole happening.
"And the thing!" Tsuna added, equally amazed, and lacking any other word for calling the 'thing' anything else but 'thing'. "It was even greater than Byakuran's Flame Ring Teleportation System!"
"Uhm, excuse me. I'm not going to let you change the way I look…" The beautiful girl said from the side, but apparently, the attention wasn't focused on her just yet.
"I know Tenth! We didn't even need to use any dying will flames…" Gokudera said.
"Uh, hello? I said I-!"
"It couldn't have been an illusion…" Chrome interrupted. "Righ, boss? I didn't sense any mist flames…"
"No. I don't think it'd been an illusion…" Tsuna replied.
"OH MY GOSH! SERIOUSLY! I SAID I REFUSE-!" The beautiful girl shrieked and all eyes fell instantly on her. "I mean…" The girl cleared her throat after realizing they were all gawking weirdly at her, like she was stranger than she already was. "…I won't let you do anything with the way I look." She said flatly then smiled in hopes of hiding her embarrassment from her sudden outburst. This girl had some serious mood issues.
"What?" Gokudera said, outraged. "If you want us to help you then you better do as we say!"
"But why? I'm already perfect as I am, and I like it that way!" She said proudly.
"That's the thing! You're too perfect to even be REAL! What part of us making you NOT perfect don't you get?" Gokudera spat.
"Please trust us…" Tsuna said. "We're here to help…" He reassured her and finally, the beautiful girl started to consider.
"Okay, fine." She smiled her star-striking smile. "If the tenth says so…"
There was distaste and confusion in Tsuna's expression, and Gokudera was annoyed.
"Stop calling him tenth!" Gokudera demanded. "Only I can call him tenth!"
The beautiful girl did nothing but snort to Gokudera's reaction. "Why, aren't you being prick?"
"Easy, Gokudera!" Yamamoto laughed nervously to ease the detention.
"Yamamoto's right, Gokudera," Tsuna said. "Calm down."
The irritated storm guardian released his balled fist and took a breath, calming down a bit. "Fine. If that's what the tenth wants. But if she goes bald, I have no regrets." A look of shock dawned upon the girl's expression and her eyes widened in horror, jaw dropping as it did.
"Bald?" she yelled, "You can't be serious!"
But Gokudera only ignored her further protests and forced her onto the barber chair (salon chair? Whatever that chair is called). "Now we have to get rid of all this!" He said, lifting up a handful of the girl's precious white-ish, lilac-ish locks, and started snipping it at random with a pair of scissors that was conveniently lying somewhere near him.
And ever so quickly, the long mane grew shorter, and shorter. Gokudera looked rather…enthusiastic at the whole process as he continued to ravage… err, play with… err, trim it.
Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Chrome were looking at Gokudera's work improbably.
"Uh, Gokudera, do you know what you're doing?" Tsuna asked, eyeing some unevenly cut part.
"No." He replied flatly, much to Tsuna's worry.
Chrome had offered to continue the rest of the haircut, unfortunately doing a worse job than Gokudera. She had to use an illusion to cover up some bald parts.
"Oh no! My hair! It's… It's…!" The girl wasn't even able to continue her sentence as she stared at herself in the mirror in horror. "It's all gone!" She cried – so much that it started soaking her top. But even as she was about to flood the place with her never-ending cry, she was ignored by the group as they had some other important matters to attend to, like,
"The color of her hair!" Gokudera exclaimed. "We have to change that too! No normal human would be walking around with that... that… whatever shade of white or purple that is. " He added, lacking the words to describe how perfectly perfect the shade of the beautiful girl's hair was. "Any suggestions?"
"What about pink!" Yamamoto said enthusiastically.
"Pink?" Gokudera protested, obviously disliking the idea. "Are you an idiot? We want to make her look human, not a walking cotton candy."
"What about blue?" Tsuna suggested. There was distaste in Gokudera's expression. He didn't like that one either. But how could he possibly defy his precious tenth?
"Ehm, Tenth, I don't think that's such a pretty color. It's so… weird, and unusual, and…" Gokudera rambled on, insulting the poor color that did nothing to him, until he was cut off by a certain female guardian.
"Gokudera, Mukuro-sama says he heard you…" Chrome informed. Gokudera furrowed his eyebrows.
"What about purple?" Yamamoto tried again.
"PURPLE?" Now there was an outraged expression plastered all over Gokudera's face. "That's even worse! What kind of person in the right mind would want to choose PURPLE?" He emphasized the words rather strongly to state his point, until he was cut off again.
"What is it this time?" He turned to Chrome who had stared back at him darkly.
"I can hear you." Gokudera flinched. "What about brown like the boss'?" Chrome then suggested, looking back at the rest of the group.
"Yeah! That's a great idea!" Yamamoto declared, smiling happily. Tsuna agreed, and finally, so did Gokudera.
"Okay, we'll go with that…"
"No!" Suddenly, a loud scream halted everyone from any movement other than covering their ears at the sound; and the perpetrator of that eight-octave high, eardrum-shattering shriek came from none other the beautiful girl (…obviously). Ah, looks like she was finally able to get a hold of herself from all that whimpering and crying she did. "I'm not letting you change my hair color! That's final!"
But it was all too late as Gokudera had already dunked in a good amount of brown hair dye over her head, disregarding following any sort of instruction for proper use of the product. And after a few magical seconds later (note that there will be a lot of magic using in this chapter 'cause the sponsors are awesome like that), without even leaving on the product for too long, or rinsing it off, 'cause it magically does that by itself, the girl's hair had turned from white to brown, from roots to tips.
The girl sat there, mouth agape, as she once again took a good look of herself in the mirror. "No, no, no, no! My snow white virgin locks! They're all…muddy snow now!" She whined, touching her feature that used to be her crown and glory. And again, the beautiful started crying. The loss was too much for her, she couldn't bear it. She had to mourn that loss, and as she cried, even the devil had pitied her.
"Why are you crying?" Yamamoto asked, looking down at the girl. "You look like a new person! And that's actually a good thing!" He added enthusiastically, trying to cheer her up.
The girl lit up ever so instantly, and her cries were reduced to sobs. "Really?"
"Yeah." Yamamoto answered honestly.
"Do you love me now then?" She asked with a hopeful look in her eyes.
Yamamoto gave a nervous laugh and replied, "No…"
"Hey! Enough with the sappy stuff!" Gokudera then interrupted. "We're still missing a few things!" Gokudera reached into the very depths of his pocket and magically took out a piece of plastic that seemed to resemble that of contact lens cases. He tossed it to the girl, and she caught it instantly like perfect, swift, agile girls should move.
"What's this?" She asked, looking down at the object she caught.
"Use that to cover up that inhuman eye color of yours…"
It didn't take long for the girl to figure out what it was that she was holding. She stared down at the pair of contact lenses with pure displeasure. "I am not sticking these things into my perfectly delicate eye!" She protested, and got a shot of Gokudera's daggers. She jolted at his stern look and quickly put one contact on each eye, almost poking them with her ever-so stunning and long, finely filed, French-tipped nails.
. . .
Sometime later, the group had found themselves on the mall, going through some clothing stores to find 'normal looking' clothes for the soon-to-be 'normal' person.
Unfortunately, the most abnormal thing had been happening. For some illogical, irrational, unscientific, unexplainable (more redundant words here) reason, none of the clothes seemed to fit. As in, nothing fit. Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch. NOTHING. I, the author, won't even try to explain it because I myself do not understand this strange occurrence.
"How is this even possible?" Gokudera said shocked for nth time. His mouth fell open again. His eyes were in disbelief again. And he just could not understand it. The girl had yet again stepped out of the fitting room (for god knows how many times now) with a new set of clothes in hand. She shook her head and sighed.
"I told you... Only perfectly custom made clothes would fit my perfectly perfect body. Why don't you get it?" She said again after having been met with the same reaction from Gokudera and the rest. "None of these clothes would fit a perfect figure like me."
"That's just stupid!" Gokudera announced, still being in denial despite the obvious fact.
"As strange as it seems, isn't it true, though?" Tsuna stated. "I mean, she's practically tried every single piece of clothing in every store we've visited, but none of them… none… fits her at all."
"Tenth, what do we do now?" Gokudera asked, half annoyed and half dejected at the situation.
"I know!" Yamamoto said suddenly, and turned to the girl with a pineapple shape for a hairstyle. "Chrome, you're the girl here, would you be able to do anything?"
Chrome stared of for a fraction of a second, thinking. Then she snapped her fingers as if she'd figured it out. And without saying anything, she dragged the other girl into the dressing room with her.
There were sounds coming out from that room – sounds that weren't supposed to be heard by young teenagers. Tsuna, Gokudera, and Yamamoto started blushing at those sounds, and as they moved to the door as much as their eager ears wanted them to, the door abruptly opened, and it revealed…it revealed…
The boys' mouth fell agape, and their eyes widened in disbelief and wonder and amazement.
The creature looked completely and utterly different. She no longer looked like the 'perfect' angel being thing from before, now she looked more average than anybody else.
She practically had a makeover from head to toe.
Her used to be white, wavy, long locks were cut until the shoulders, and had been coloured brown. Her golden orbs were masked under the same shade of brown due to contact lenses. Her Betty Boop boobs had shrunken. Her waist was moderate looking and no longer looked like she had a liposuction gone wrong. And finally, the clothes from the store had fit.
All in all, she looked…normal.
"Well? How do I look? I hope you people are satisfied…"
The boys didn't reply. They just nodded. The Tsuna turned to Chrome.
"Chrome, how did you do it? Her shape… You were actually able to do something about it!"
"Well, I…" Chrome trailed off, and as if on cue a guy with a vacuum cleaner had gone passed them, drowning out the discussion from the noise of the appliance.
"Ohhh…" The three boys said in unison.
"Well, now that's done, we can finally move on to more important things…" Gokudera announced a few moment later. "We have to see if we can change her attitude and whatever else that makes her a Sue."
And with that, the group headed off. Who will they be seeking for help next?
"Hey, did you guys pay for these things?" Yamamoto suddenly brought up.
I think the first part was okay? I noticed that I'd put in twice the crack in there compared to the other chapters. But I'm not happy with the last part at all. (T-T)
What do you guys think? Please review! It really does help with the motivation.