Hey guys I'm BACK! I'm so sorry for taking ages to update again, but life has been completely hectic for me recently and I haven't had much time to write. To make up for it here is a nice LOOONG chapter.
Again, just so much love for your reviews... they mean the world!
I love every single one of your reviews, especially when people let me know what they liked and that they are still really enjoying! but just wanted to say:
bamupr - I know what you mean about wanting Alexis to be a bitch... might have been easier! there may be more to come on that front though...
cici - I love your reviews so much! Thank you thank you! SO happy you are still enjoying!
Anyway... story time:
(May be a litttle bit of sexy time in this chapter, don't know if I would say it was M for sure... but I just want to give an early warning to any readers who care about that sort of thing)
"Paige, open the damn door" I heard the familiar voice from behind my front door as I walked through from the bedroom, I had heard knocking but I had decided to let whoever it was wait while I lay in bed a bit longer; the sheets still smelt faintly like Emily.
"I'm coming hold on" I shouted back as I walked the rest of the short distance.
My old roommate's impatient face greeted me as I opened the door. "Take your time why don't you?" She chirped sarcastically as I pulled open the door further. Her face fell as she quickly looked me up and down, her mouth forming a small 'o'.
"Do you have company?" She asked in a hushed whisper.
I realised then I was still only wearing the oversized shirt I had put on this morning while Emily was still here and I was sure my hair was a mess. I laughed lightly and shook my head.
"Not anymore" I answered with a mischievous smile and ushered her into my apartment.
"Paige McCullers got laid, praise the lord!" She held her hands up towards the ceiling.
"Shut up" I picked a cushion up and tossed it her way, it hit her on the arm and we both laughed as it fell to the floor.
"Put something on… your legs are distracting me!" She teased with an over the top wink and I rolled my eyes but went to the bedroom to pull on some pyjama bottoms anyway. Taylor could make all the jokes she wanted, I knew the only legs that were going to distract her were the legs of the small blond girl she had been infatuated with since college.
"What are you doing here?" I asked as I returned and went to pull two cups out to make some coffee.
"So your best friend can't just turn up on a Saturday morning without getting her intentions questioned?" She folded her arms feigning annoyance.
"Not when it's before noon, we both know you don't do Saturday mornings" I teased and she agreed with a slight smile and shrug of her shoulders.
"I need a favour" She smiled widely so I could see all of her teeth.
"I see" I smiled back smugly. "Go on…" I poured some coffee as I spoke.
"Can I borrow your car?" she looked at me like a puppy begging for treats.
"No" I answered back with a shake of my head. "No way Taylor!" I laughed when she walked towards me and opened her mouth in what I guessed was an attempt to change my mind.
"Please Paigey" She stuck her lip out. "I ordered this cake for Jessica's birthday from this like totally amazing shop back home and I just found out they don't deliver" she pleaded.
"First, Paigey… really?" I laughed as I passed her a cup of coffee. "And second, last time you borrowed my car you crashed it into a wall… A WALL"
"Again, that wasn't my fault, that wall came out of nowhere" She tried again and I just laughed.
"You're not driving my car" I sat down on the couch and she followed, looking defeated.
"I will though, I'll drive you" I took a sip of coffee and she squealed happily.
"I totally love you" She clapped her hands.
"I know" I joked and took another sip. "But you're not my type" I laughed as she pretended to look offended by my comment.
"So tell me about your night?" She slid her coat off and raised her eyebrows playfully. "I see breakfast dishes, I'm sure that's some kind of first for you" She smiled as she looked over at the kitchen area.
I rolled my eyes "That makes me sound awful" but she had a point.
"That's not answering the question" she laughed. "Who was this lucky lady? You've had this dreamy look on your face since you opened the door… she must have been amazing"
I rolled my eyes again with a smile but I caught myself thinking she's not wrong…Emily is amazing.
"It's kind of crazy" I started and this seemed to intrigue her. "And complicated" I added and she put her coffee down as if she was preparing herself for the tale.
"Who was it? Do I know them?" She asked again and I took a deep breath before answering.
"Emily" I said her name and I couldn't help the smile that turned the corner of my lips as it slipped out. God, it felt nice to say that name again.
"Emily" Taylor's face was blank as she looked at me to elaborate. "Emily…" She looked like she was thinking, running over every Emily she had ever met, suddenly it must have clicked and her jaw dropped in shock.
"Fields?" She asked the question in disbelief and I just nodded.
"Emily Fields? Like that Emily… like… Emily?" She still looked shocked and I just nodded back, the smile still on my face.
"Wait… what? How did that even happen…" she was smiling now too.
"It's kind of a crazy story"
"Go on…" She urged.
"Well I saw her about a week ago when I was working this charity awards event, it was crazy seeing her again after so long"
"And…?" Taylor asked enthusiastically.
"Well… she was there with her girlfriend and it was all weird and awkward but then she called me and we went for breakfast and…"
"Wait Paige, 'girlfriend'?" she got a sudden serious look on her face.
"That's the part where it gets complicated" I said my expression falling too. "She came over last night to talk to me… I didn't expect her to show up… but there she was in the middle of the night" I remembered how she had looked standing in my apartment soaking wet and how much it had hurt to have her that close and not be able to touch her.
"We talked and we talked some more and then somewhere along the way we weren't doing much talking anymore" I looked up and met Taylor's eye and she had a slight smile creeping onto her serious expression.
"Go figure" she said with a small smile and I couldn't help but smile too.
She reached forward and put a hand on my arm tenderly. "Do you know what it was, I mean… what about the girlfriend? I just… Paige, please don't get in too deep if it means you're going to get hurt okay, I had a front row seat to the Emily Fields heartbreak part one… I'm really not interested in seeing part two" I gave her a reassuring smile once she'd finished.
I explained all that me and Emily had spoken about that morning, how we both felt and I could see Taylor relax as I said the words.
"So this is actually happening, you and Emily?" Taylor was smiling as she asked.
"That's the plan… I mean we need to take this slow but… God Taylor… last night just made me realise I have to be with Emily, do you know what I mean?"
She just threw her head back and laughed with a wide smile on her face. "Do I know what you mean?" She laughed again. "Yes, Paige. I really do. You never got over her… that was obvious for anyone to see"
"Really?" I asked. I had always thought I had been quite good at keeping that little secret to myself but obviously I was wrong. Taylor had learnt not to bring Emily's name up in conversation after the first time she did and I had literally broken down in front of her. She had swiftly learnt that Emily's name and any talk of her was strictly off the agenda.
"Yes. Really." She smiled again. "Does this mean I might finally see you happy?" She had that truly caring expression on her face that was so rare with her normal sarcastic expression.
"Yes" I answered truthfully, because I was happier than I had been in 4 years and it had everything to do with the incredible brunette whose arms I had woken up in this morning.
My cell phone rang just as we joined the highway and before I could register what she was doing Taylor was rummaging in the glove compartment where I had stashed it.
"Don't answer that!" I said firmly but I couldn't help but laugh as I watched out of the corner of my eye the other girl turn her back on me and bring the phone up to her ear comically.
"It's an unknown number" my heart skipped at her words as I had a pretty good idea who it was.
"Taylor!" I protested again, my one armed attempts of stopping her failing as I tried to keep my focus on the road.
"Paige's phone" She spoke happily as she greeted the person on the other end. I couldn't hear the response from the other end of the line but the smile that crept onto Taylor's face let me know exactly who was calling.
"Emily, its Taylor!" She giggled at something Emily said. "She's driving" she answered the question I couldn't hear. "Emily Fields I have missed you girl, how's life?" Taylor said and I rolled my eyes, Taylor had only known Emily for the first year of college but she had always got on well with her whenever she visited me, but now was not the time for them to catch-up.
"Tay?" I said firmly.
"Sorry Emily, Paige is giving me her death stare… yeah, that one" she laughed and I relaxed my face… I didn't realise I had a 'death stare'.
"Can I take a message?" She asked, flipping back to an almost comical professional tone.
"Will do, bye" She said into my phone before she hung up and I looked at her expectantly.
"She wants you to call her when you can" she said simply and I nodded.
"Don't answer my phone!" I said but I couldn't really be angry, it was sort of nice to hear how enthusiastic Taylor was about Emily. I knew she had always got on well with her and I knew she had always thought we were a great couple, I just had no idea she still felt like that after all these years.
As we approached the next stop point on the road I flicked the indicator and pulled into the empty car park to a confused look from Taylor.
"You need the bathroom?"
"I'm ringing Emily back" I answered with a smile as I reached and took my cell phone which was still in her hands.
"Ever heard of playing it cool, it's been like 5 minutes" she joked.
"I 'played it cool' for four years… so… so over that" I smiled as I left the car and found the number I knew was Emily's, walking a safe distance away from the car so Taylor couldn't interrupt.
"Hey" her voice greeted me after the first ring.
"Hey, you alright?" I asked, happy that my back was to the car and Taylor wouldn't be able to see the huge grin spreading on my lips at the simple sound of her voice.
"I didn't expect you to call back so soon" she seemed happy but I couldn't help but be drawn back to all the times I hadn't called her back and I felt so guilty.
"I wanted to check everything was okay, is it?" I asked, noticing how she hadn't really answered when I had asked if she was alright.
"Sort of" she said and I could tell she wasn't telling the truth.
"What's up?" I said in the most caring tone I had, I wanted her to know she could confide in me.
"Alexis is in New York for 3 more days and I'm just struggling waiting for her to come back, I know this is something I should tell her face to face but… the thought of not seeing you for 3 more days is driving me crazy" I couldn't help but feel the flutter in my chest at her words however much I knew this situation sucked, she was talking about breaking up with her girlfriend but all I could concentrate on was the part about how much she needed to see me.
"It's just three days Em… we can do it" I said softly and I got a small frustrated chuckle back from her.
"I just keep replaying last night over in my mind" she said it quietly and the butterflies returned with a vengeance, just knowing she was doing exactly what I was hit me hard.
"Em, you know I want to see you right?" She gave a little sound in response that I took for a yes. "But it's only three more days okay; it's the right thing to do" I wished we both didn't have to be so freakin moral all the time, but we both knew the truth.
"You're right" Her voice came back more confident now. "I just hate dragging this out, it's hard because I can't see you and I feel like I'm lying to Alexis"
"I know" I said in understanding. "It's worth it though, it's worth it to do it right"
I heard a small sigh and I smiled, I could listen to the little sounds like that she made all day and not get fed up.
"I can't wait until we can start again, I've missed you too much Paige" She was speaking softly and I felt my heart beat skip.
"Me too Em, so much" there was silence for a bit and I imagined how Emily was probably sat twirling a piece of her hair around her finger.
"Well I'll let you get back to driving"
"Okay" I said softly, not wanting to hang up the phone but knowing Taylor was probably getting restless, I swear she was like a toddler sometimes.
"You can do it Em, I'll speak to you soon"
"Bye" she said in that way only she could, with just one word making my whole body shake. I hung up before it became impossible to stop talking to her.
I returned to the car and Taylor was giving me a knowing smirk I just smiled back and pulled a face at her.
"What!" I asked as she continued to look at me smugly.
"I finally have happy Paige back, it's really nice" she was a little more sincere now and I just smiled.
"Well it's nice to be back… now put some music on, I'm sick of your talking" I teased and she began flicking through the CD collection.
Maybe things did work out sometimes.
I felt so numb that I didn't feel it when Alexis threw the key to my apartment I had given her a few weeks ago at my feet, nor did I feel it when she pushed past me to grab a hand full of her things angrily from the bedroom. I stood completely still and I was aware that tears were falling slowly down my cheeks. That was harder than I ever imagined.
I wasn't sure how long had passed before she returned from her angry searching but when she returned I could see where she had wiped at the mascara streaks on her cheeks and there was now only black smudges there as she shoved the few belongings she had into her purse.
I wanted to say something to fix the hurt on her face but there was nothing I could do to stop it, I had caused this and nothing I could do now could change that.
"I'm so sorry" I said it for what was probably the tenth time and my voice was even weaker than before, I felt awful.
She laughed a little and it made the situation even more excruciating, the laughter was so bitter and hateful it made me feel sick. "I'm sorry too Emily" she spoke bitterly and I took a deep breath.
"Can you tell me one thing?" She closed her eyes after she spoke and I wasn't sure if it was sadness or anger.
"Of course" I agreed, dreading what question she might ask.
"Did you ever really care about me or was I just a distraction?" I felt my stomach twist.
"Of course I cared about you Alexis, I still do… you became my best friend and I never lied when I told you how much I enjoyed being with you… but…" I couldn't bring myself to say it.
"I wasn't her" She finished for me, finally opening her eyes to meet mine.
I opened my mouth to respond but no words would come out, we both knew that was exactly the reason.
"What is it that makes you so hung up on her? What is it that I don't have? I thought we were special" she seemed less angry now but sadder, I didn't know what was worse.
"Alexis" I began slowly, I didn't want to do this to her, I didn't want to tell her anything that would hurt her more.
"No Emily… I need to know." The angry tone had returned and I was sort of glad about that.
"I'm sorry that I did this to you, I'm so sorry I hurt you by involving you in this big mess that was my life… I'm so sorry, you're such an amazing person you deserve someone to treat you better than I have" I looked at her with a pleading expression but she shook her head.
"I need to hear you say it, why her and not me?" She was grinding her teeth slowly.
"Because I'm in love with her, I've always been in love with her" I looked down at the floor as I spoke, I never wanted her to have to hear me say it so plainly.
When I looked up to see her expression it was blank, she nodded once before looking down at the floor herself.
"I never meant to hurt you" I was aware of how hollow my words were but it was all I could do to say them.
"Well you did" she said bluntly her eyes still focused on the floor. I didn't know what else I could do, I had hurt her and she had every right to hate me.
I stood in silence now, it was done, and there was nothing else for me to do now. This is what you wanted, to tell Alexis the truth and be able to be happy with Paige. I reminded myself, but happiness had never tasted this bitter.
"I hope you find someone worthy of you" I said softly.
"Drop the crap Em, I get it" she looked me right in the eyes now. "I just didn't expect this"
I didn't know what else to say, my words right now were meaningless. I knew telling her how good a catch she was wasn't going to mean anything when I had just confessed I was completely in love with someone else. I had to except the fact I couldn't make this okay.
"I need to go" she mumbled as she pulled her purse further onto her shoulder. "You can pick up your things from my apartment when I'm at work… you know my schedule" she said it so business like, like I hadn't shared the last few months of her life.
I just nodded sadly because there was nothing else for me to do.
With that she was gone, she left the door open after she had walked through it in what I guessed was a last attempt at expressing her anger, I walked and closed it more forcefully than I intended.
Hurting someone hurt more than I ever imagined.
"Hey" I smiled warmly at her as she pulled back the door of her apartment.
"Paige" She let out in a breathless laugh, her tone showing how shocked she was to see me there, but judging from the smile on her face I assumed it was a good surprise. Her eyes were red and puffy though and I could tell she had just been crying.
"I got your message and I just thought… I didn't want you to be alone" she stood still for a moment as she used her knuckles to wipe away some tears that were reforming in her eyes.
She let out a long breath "Thank you" She smiled sweetly at me and reached for my hand to pull me into her apartment. She shut the door quietly as I glanced briefly around the nicely decorated living area as I took my coat off and rested it over the arm of a chair.
I turned to face her and felt the familiar need to protect her rush through me as I noticed how vulnerable and emotional she looked.
"Em… come here" I gave her a sad smile as I moved closer to her and went to wrap my arms around her but her hands on my wrists stopped me. I gave her a confused look as she moved my hands to rest on her face and she met my gaze, her hands still holding mine in place. Her lips touched mine softly and I felt my eyes flutter closed, I relished in the feel of her soft lips as they moved against my own. It was the lightest of kisses but we didn't break apart for a long time.
I opened my eyes as our lips fell apart and I was met with a soft smile from Emily. I kissed her nose delicately as she removed her hands from mine and rested them on my waist instead.
"I missed you" She said as she finally pulled me closer to her and let me wrap my arms around her. Her face was resting in the crook of my neck as we held each other.
"Me too" I spoke into her hair as we hugged for a moment longer. When we finally pulled apart she took hold of both of my hands and pulled me towards the big leather couch in the centre of the room.
We both took a seat on the same side and Emily rested a hand on my leg as we sat. "Are you okay?" I asked finally, tucking her hair back behind her ears and kissing her cheek softly after I had.
She let out a little laugh and nodded. "I've never felt this happy and this sad all in one, it's strange" She gave me an almost apologetic look and I smiled in understanding.
"I understand" I knew how hard it must have been for Emily to tell Alexis the truth. "I think you're really brave, I'm proud of you" I couldn't help but lean in and kiss her cheek again; she was too irresistible to keep my lips off.
"Why are you so amazing" She was looking at me in adoration and it created butterflies in my stomach, I just answered with a smile.
"So, do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked the question completely unsure how she would answer, I didn't know what I was supposed to do in this situation, how was I supposed to act in regards to Emily dealing with a break-up? It was completely alien.
"I messed up my words but, eventually, I told her the truth about how I felt" She was running her hand up and down my leg as she spoke. "It was horrible, I mean it was just so hard to have to say the words to her and see how much they hurt her, you know" I nodded at her words.
"I'm guessing she took it badly" I knew the answer already by the way Emily was clearly still upset about it.
"Yeah" Emily answered with a little wobble in her breathing. "I told her about you… about us" she looked down at her hand stroking patterns onto my leg before continuing. "She was upset, obviously… and mad" Emily let out a deep sigh. "I feel so strange because I feel so guilty and upset about Alexis, like I have lost a best friend… but then at the same time I feel like I'm so happy to have you back, happier than I have ever been about anything in my life and the contradiction just confuses me."
I was looking at her face and I could see the lines in her forehead where she was tensing, all the thoughts in her head making her face twist into such un-Emily like expressions. "You know… it's okay to feel both of those things at the same time Em" I said softly as I put a finger under her chin and forced her head back up so she would look at me. "It doesn't make either of them less valid" I tried to reassure her with a smile.
"I guess" she said quietly as I continued to smile at her.
"And I know you feel bad for hurting her but the truth is always better than a lie, the truth sets people free… and that's the most important thing" I was impressed when my words made her smile Maybe I was better at this break-up advice thing than I thought.
"You always know the right thing to say to make me feel better" She was smiling softly and I couldn't help how the compliment made my cheeks blush red slightly.
"That's all I ever want to do, make you feel better… make you happy" I admitted, causing her to smile even wider.
"Well you succeed in that by just being here with me" she replied and I took her hands and gave them a little squeeze.
"Will you stay with me for a bit?" She asked and her tone was so vulnerable.
"Of course I will" I stretched my arm around her and pulled her so she was closer to me, kissing her softly on the head while I did. "I'll stay with you forever" I added and she twisted so she could look right at me.
"Do you mean that?" She was looking at me so seriously now, any hint of underlying softness gone. The look was raw and intense and almost a little heart-breaking. My face changed instantly as I saw the emotion in her eyes.
"Of course I do…" I began to say but she spoke again.
"Even if you think you're doing what's best for me… don't. I never want you to leave. Not again." She didn't sound bitter… she sounded scared. I got a glimpse then of what I had done to Emily when I had broken up with her and what I saw hurt me right in the heart.
I took her face in my hands softly, running my fingers along her cheeks. "I promise" I said it slowly. "I promise" I repeated and the scared look finally left her face before I gave her a soft but heartfelt kiss to emphasise my point.
"I have an idea" I said with a smile after a few moments of kissing her.
"I normally like your ideas" she replied, stealing a quick kiss as she did.
"A date" I said with a small smile. "Sort of like a first date. A chance for us to begin again, get to know each other as the people we are now" I saw her smile and nod slowly.
"When would this date be?" she was staring at my lips.
"Tomorrow too soon?" I let a smile spread on my lips I knew she was staring at.
"No such thing as too soon" she closed the distance and captured my lips in a kiss that was deeper than anyone of the evening so far.
"You like kissing before you've even been on a first date don't you?" I teased and she shrugged her shoulders with a grin.
"Does this mean if I ask you to stay with me tonight the answer will be no?" She looked into my eyes as she spoke.
I thought for a second and knew that there was nothing I wanted to do more than spend the night with Emily… but the thought of doing this properly, being romantic with her and earning her trust back… that was an even sweeter thought.
"I think we should watch a movie and I'll play with your hair until you fall asleep and I'll put you to bed before I go home… and then tomorrow I'll remind you how good it is to date Paige McCullers" I said in a roundabout way to her question and I earned a smile from her.
"When you put it that way… it sounds perfect" I grinned back at her and I couldn't imagine how anyone could be happier than me right now.
"Best movie of last year?" It was my turn to ask a question and she laughed at my choice.
"That's a boring question, what happened to the deep questions from before?" She retorted as she took another bite off her fork.
"You said I could ask anything I wanted?" I protested with a smile. "I like knowing what movies you like" I tried to justify and she smiled at me. "I like to know the little things about you".
She gave me an understanding nod just as the waiter approached with the bottle of wine we had just ordered. Paige had booked us into a little mexican restaurant she promised me had the best food she had ever tasted, so far I hadn't been disappointed. The company wasn't half bad either.
The waiter poured some of the wine before leaving the rest of the bottle for us to help ourselves; the movie question went forgotten as we took a sip.
"This place is great" I said as I looked around, it was small and cosy and there were a few other couples sat at tables but we had a good private seat in the corner.
Paige nodded with a satisfied smile. "You know, I was trying to think of all these crazy and romantic things to do for you… some sort of grand date gesture… but then I thought how much I just wanted to do something almost normal with you. Like the classic date" She winked at me. "I hope it doesn't disappoint"
"You could never disappoint" I took another bite of food and relished in the flavours. "This food is incredible" I said through a mouthful and Paige laughed at me.
"Here try this" she said once I had finished chewing. She brought her fork up to my mouth carefully and I ate the contents carefully as they were hot. "ohmygod" I said as one word as I closed my eyes for dramatic effect. "Are you trying to turn me on with food Miss McCullers?" I laughed with an eyebrow raised.
"If I was trying to turn you on I wouldn't need food" she had leant forward to whisper her words huskily and I felt her hand reach for my thigh under the table. Nope. She definitely didn't need anything other than herself.
I bit my lip and shook my head at her with a smile. "What happened to first day rules" It was my turn to tease her.
"I never really liked rules anyway" she shot back at me with a grin that damn grin got me every time.
She took another sip of her wine slowly and I had never been jealous of a wine glass before.
"Okay, question time again" I focused back on her with a thoughtful look. "How many people have you been with in the last 4 years" I watched as she went red from my question.
"Em" she laughed to hide her obvious discomfort. The question was something I had been wondering ever since I had saw her that night at the charity event, something I hated to think about but also couldn't not think about.
"I'm just curious" I explained, smiling softly to show her this didn't have to be awkward.
"What, like dated or been with" she asked, flashing me a nervous look. Okay, the way she said been with then made me feel a little uncomfortable.
"Both" I replied, not knowing why I was doing this to myself.
"Honestly?" she looked shy. "I went on dates with 3 people… they were awful" she met my eye and laughed.
"And…?" I pushed.
"How many people have you… you know" I couldn't bring myself to say slept with.
"Em, this is such a romance killer" she laughed but I gave her a pushing look. "A few…" she began. "Like 4" she answered and I nodded slowly. "I was that jackass girl who gets drunk with some random girl and leaves before I even have chance to remember their name… classy huh?"
The thought of Paige with someone else was less disturbing if I imagined Paige completely drunk and leaving before the sun came up… but it was still not something I really wanted to picture.
"Yeah… I don't know why I wanted to know that" I laughed and Paige laughed too.
"Okay...What's your favourite memory of us?" Paige asked, completely changing the subject and surprising me with her question.
"What, ever?" I asked and she nodded. "That's like... impossible" I laughed and Paige just smiled.
"You have to answer, I answered your creepy sex question" she mocked and I chuckled.
"Okay… let me think" I tried to run through every memory of the two of us but it was like there was too much there for me to properly assess… every moment had been special in its own way. I thought for a good minute before I came up with my answer.
"Okay, I have one. You know the night you took me to the fun fair for our first 'official' date?" She nodded at my memory.
"Well… there was this moment at the end of the night where we just sat in the car driving home in silence… you had a hold of my hand and I remember thinking although I was completely drenched I had never felt more comfortable in all my life. We weren't talking… we were just with each other and I remember being overwhelmed with how profound and safe and hopeful I felt. That night when I got home I remember lying in bed thinking through all the possibilities of us… everything was so new and exciting and for the first time in my life I knew this was the real deal. It was like I was on the edge of something magical and I could feel the buzz it was giving to my entire body… the buzz of being with you. It's sort of how I've felt all of tonight." I finished speaking and the way Paige was looking at me now made the buzz even stronger.
"I could listen to you talk all day" she smiled almost dreamily as we continued on with our date. She hadn't been wrong; Dating Paige McCullers was incredible.
The cab driver was whistling along to the radio as we drove the short cab ride back from the other side of town to Paige's apartment. When she asked me if I wanted to come back the look I had given her had made her laugh at herslef, of course I wanted to go back with you, you absolute moron.
We were sat close to each other in the cab and it was all I could do to keep my cool as I felt Paige's hands on the exposed skin of my legs, she was stroking patterns in a way she knew drove me crazy.
"You look absolutely gorgeous tonight by the way" She whispered into my ear before she planted a soft kiss below it. I shivered at the feeling and closed my eyes to enjoy the sensation.
"Keep doing this and the cab driver might end up getting a bit of a show" I breathed almost silently back, half joking… half ready to climb on top of her and start making out right now.
"I'm not doing anything" she teased me by kissing my neck ever so lightly and I bit my lip and gave her a smirk.
We arrived at Paige's apartment block and I flung the money Paige pulled out of her pocket at the driver hurriedly. "Keep the change" I said with a smile as I ushered Paige out of the car urgently.
"That was a twenty" She looked at me with her hands on her hips once the cab had driven away and we were standing on the sidewalk.
"Shut up" I laughed as I lunged forward and kissed her deeply.
"I wanted my change" she teased again "You owe me money Fields" she let me kiss her again after she spoke.
"When I'm finished with you, you'll probably want to pay me anyway" I winked and she seemed to enjoy that, she raised her eyebrows and put hands either side of my hips.
"Can we at least go inside first or are you wanting to do this right here on the sidewalk?" She was teasing me again and I just rolled my eyes as I pulled her by the hand into her apartment building.
Once we were upstairs I began to kiss her again, she struggled to fit her key in the lock of her apartment as I kissed her neck. I ran my hands up under her shirt as she tried to open the door. Stupid door.
"I can't… open…" She was breathing breathlessly as I met her mouth with my own, sucking on her bottom lip as I caught her mid-sentence.
I grabbed the key out of her hand with a wink and slotted it into the lock, after a quick twist the door opened and I grabbed Paige by the shirt and pulled her into her apartment.
The door slammed shut and I pushed her against it so I could kiss her neck again. I had never felt this much desire in my life.
"I want you so much" I felt the words fall croakily out of my mouth as I kissed up her jaw and finally found her ear with my teeth. I let my hands run up her shirt and I felt her flat stomach with my palm for a moment before I ducked my head and kissed the skin beneath her shirt. She was breathing heavily and the sweet sound of her moaning was only feeding the fire inside of me. I returned to her face and kissed her lips urgently.
"Em" she had a hand up in front of us and she was laughing breathlessly as she pulled away from the kiss.
"Hold on" She was grinning at me but I only pouted back at her, pulling her in for a deep kiss again and feeling the heat in my body rise in waves. She kissed me back and I was reminded again of how delicious her kisses could be as she moved her tongue so perfectly with mine.
Too soon though she pulled back again, "Not that I'm not enjoying this" she kissed me softly between deep breaths. "But give me a minute, please" She put two hands on my waist to steady me. "I have something I want to do" She kissed me lightly again before she slipped out from between me and the door and began to walk away.
"Paige?" I was breathing heavily and I couldn't help but laugh breathlessly as I watched her skip towards the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I went to follow her but she put a hand up to stop me.
"It's a surprise, stop being so impatient" she flashed me a flirtatious look and I just crossed my arms.
"What am I supposed to do?" I asked as I looked her up and down and accepted the fact that the only thing I wanted to do right now was rip each item of her clothing off.
"Wait" she said simply with a wink before she disappeared into her bedroom and I sat on the arm of the couch with a smile; even though she was making me wait she was still adorable.
Five minutes passed before her face returned around the door of the bedroom and she smiled smugly as she approached where I was sat.
"Miss Fields, would you like to follow me?" She bent down to whisper in my ear and offered me her hand, I took it and she placed a kiss on the back of it delicately.
I giggled softly as she led me towards the bedroom and pulled me inside.
The room was glowing from the numerous candles she had placed on every available surface and the stars twinkling through the ceiling window only added to the pleasant light of the room. There were petals sprinkled on the floor and bed and what appeared to be a bottle of champagne on the nightstand.
"Paige" I breathed out at the sight. "It's beautiful"
She let go of my hand and I could see she was grinning. "So are you" she flashed me one of her most adoring smiles and I felt my knees go a little bit weak.
She walked over to where some speakers were in the corner of the room and pressed play on her iPod
"I made a playlist of songs that remind me of you" she seemed so happy with herself as the soft music filled the air.
I couldn't help but smile back at her as I watched her half walk half dance her way back over to me.
"Well most songs make me think of you… but these are the special ones" She had reached me again and she put a hand on either side of my waist tenderly.
"I love you" I gushed as I just admired how her eyes looked this close up.
She made a small sound and I wasn't sure if it was a sigh or a laugh but she dropped her gaze slightly to my body as she did.
"What?" I asked, suddenly conscious of my words and her lack of response, she just shook her head and tightened her grip on my waist.
"Say it again" she said softly, her fingers now tracing the skin of my arms softly.
"What?" I asked with a smile.
"That you love me" She planted her lips on my collar bone gently and peppered gentle kisses there.
I felt my heart flutter and I reached my hand to her face and lifted her chin so she would look at me.
"I love you. Paige McCullers" I spoke softly and slowly and watched her sigh again as I did.
"I will never get bored of hearing you say that" she moved her lips back to my neck and kissed the skin like it was an old friend she had missed dearly.
"Are you not going to say it back?" my voice was slightly breathless due to the way her kisses were making my heart beat.
She kissed my neck harder and just nodded against me. I closed my eyes for a second to fully enjoy the sensation as her hands travelled up my back and found the zipper of my dress.
"I want this dress off first" she flashed me a mischievous look as she slowly began to turn me around and ease the zipper all the way down. She moved my hair out of the way once she had finished with the zipper and kissed the back of my neck slowly.
I helped ease the dress down by wiggling my hips as she pulled the fabric the rest of the way and my dress pooled at my feet.
I felt her hands on my waist, slowly stoking over the skin of my stomach before they moved lower and scraped over the lace fabric of my underwear.
"You are so gorgeous" I wasn't sure where she was looking exactly but I could feel her hands moving over my ass and down my legs. I let her turn me back around and I felt the way she was looking at my body like I was a goddess or something, like I was the most exquisite thing she had ever seen in her life. It was such a turn on to see that much desire behind her gorgeous brown eyes.
"Can I get you out of these clothes yet?" I asked with a mischievous smile of my own, looking down at the offending clothes in question.
Paige hadn't dressed girly in a long time, since the start of our relationship she had always preferred to dress in jeans and a t-shirt and I always loved how she would pick a suit to dress up in over a dress. These days though she seemed somehow even more at home in her smart casual boyish clothes which always had just a hint of femininity. Today she was wearing tight black jeans I had decided I was going to worship for the rest of my life and a fitted low cut shirt which left all the right things to the imagination. She looked sexy in a way I could never really explain, so confident without being revealing… it was almost a shame I had to take them off to reach the perfect sight I knew was under there.
"I thought you'd never ask" she teased and it was my turn to kiss her neck as I pressed my lips there and ran my fingers under the hem of her shirt. Once it was on the floor I smirked at her and took a seat on the edge of the bed. She looked at my new position with an eyebrow raised and turned to face me.
I smirked myself as I reached forward and hooked two fingers through the belt loops in her jeans and pulled her close to me as a sensual laugh escaped her lips.
"I think things would be so much better if you were naked" I bit my lip as I slowly undid the button at the top of her jeans, taking my time with the zipper before I eased them down her thighs smoothly.
I heard her breath catch in her throat as I pressed my lips against the bottom of her stomach which was so easy for me to reach from my position. I ran my tongue over the skin slowly and I felt her shiver as she wrapped her hands in my hair to hold me in place. She was obviously enjoying this. I kissed my way up her body as her grip loosened and I finally found her face, pressing a soft kiss to her waiting lips.
The flickering candle light was making her hair seem like it was changing shades every second, the rich and light tones amplified as she looked at me. She smiled at me then and I was sure no one had ever smiled at another person with so much adoration as Paige did to me in that moment; it made me feel like I was the luckiest person alive.
"I love you Emily Fields" She kissed me softly. "I have always loved you from the moment I met you" She kissed me again. "And I will carry on loving you for the rest of my life" she kissed me a final time. "… And probably even longer" she winked this time and I just smiled back in awe. Happy didn't begin to explain what I felt right now.
She tapped my legs softly with her hands and indicated with her head for me to move myself further up the bed, I did what she said and smiled as she followed me until I was resting against the head board.
She sat down with a thigh either side of my legs, positioning her weight in a way that made her feel almost weightless. She leant forward so her chest was pressed against mine and I relished in the feel of it, she kissed me lightly before she leant back and twisted her body so she could reach what was on the nightstand.
I watched as she carefully poured two glasses of champagne into the tall flutes. She passed me mine and I took it with an appreciative smile.
"A toast" She said with a grin.
"To what?" I ran my finger along the bottom of the glass as Paige began to think.
Her eyes dipped down to my body "lace panties?" she gave me an almost devilish grin as she ran her free hand over the top of my underwear. "They're worth a toast, surely?" she raised her eyebrows suggestively at me and I would have laughed if I hadn't been so turned on.
"For sure" I agreed with her for a moment before I leaned forward and whispered in her ear "But I think you might like what's underneath them even more" I knew straight away the effect that had on her and it was like I could almost feel her increase in temperature.
"I don't doubt it" When she spoke now her grin had gone and it almost looked like she was dazed. I stroked the bottom of the glass again.
"To us" I said simply, knowing it wasn't flirtatious of earth shattering but feeling like it was everything that mattered. The fact that we could be 'us' again… that's all I ever needed.
She smiled gently in agreement and raised her glass to meet mine. "To us" she repeated as our glasses clinked together and we both took a small sip.
"Nice" I said as I swallowed the bubbly liquid "I didn't know you could be so flashy."
"Only the best for you" She winked at me and I loved how she was being serious.
I let my eyes wander down to her chest and I smiled when I realised for the hundredth time that night how beautiful she was. Paige told me so many times how gorgeous she thought I was but I guessed I didn't tell her as much as I should have. In the past I guess I couldn't find the right way to express just how gorgeous she was or how much she turned me on so I gave up telling her and committed myself to showing her. But right now I needed her to know.
I took one more sip of the sparkling substance and placed it back on the nightstand, Paige copied me as I began to run my hands along her stomach. I leant forward and raised my arms around her neck to pull her face towards me so I could capture her lips in mine. She moaned into the touch and I smiled in satisfaction.
"You are so gorgeous" I whispered between kisses. "Do you know that?"
"You are" was all she answered back as she kissed me again and I laughed, I needed her to fully understand.
It wasn't hard for me to wrap my arms around her semi naked form and flip us over so she was lying on her back. She laughed softly at my movement and seemed to shiver in excitement and I straddled her hips and grinded gently against her.
I pushed her hands above her head and held them in place for a moment.
"I think this has to be my favourite feeling in the world" the words flowed from her lips in a breathless sigh.
"What's that?" I teased as I grinded into her again and felt her squirm a little.
"The wonderful weight of Emily Fields on top of me… especially when you do that" she closed her eyes for a second as I moved my hips into her again.
"You know what my favourite thing is?" I asked with a grin. She shook her head.
"Your abs" I said as I leaned forward and ran my tongue over the softly defined muscle in front of me whilst my hair fell around my face. I felt Paige brush my hair back softly so she could watch the gentle kisses I was giving her. I could hear her heart beating rapidly.
"Or maybe it's your mouth" She smiled when I said that and I moved to kiss her "or your kisses" I said after a deep and passionate moment of kissing. "Or…" I said as I ran my hand down her body, my hand moving its way behind her to unclasp her bra gently. I tucked the straps down her arms and pulled it out of the way in one slick move. "Oh yeah, we have a definite contender" I smiled as I moved my lips to kiss the newly exposed skin. Paige arched into me as I touched exactly where she needed me with my tongue. Her hands fumbled to remove my bra and I let her struggle while I carried on making her arch into me. Once she had finished her task she threw the black lace item onto the floor and moved a hand to hold onto my head softly; her fingers messing into my hair as I heard a moan curl from her mouth.
What a sweet sound.
Paige shifted then and she pulled my head up so she could kiss me deeply. This feeling of being this close to her again, physically and emotionally, was electrifying... I wanted her more than I ever had in my life.
The next few hours were magical... I wasn't aware of the passing of time whilst the sensation of being with Paige overwhelmed me. Our hands moved together, our mouths are tongues... they all took up the old dance we had perfected so well but with a new energy that left me feeling the most incredible I had in my whole life.
Paige was mine and I was hers... and that's all I had ever wanted.
Soooo review? please...? :D