Disclaimer: Doctor Who is not mine, and it never will be.
Sitting in a Tree
"I'm so glad Jack is not here right now" Rose said.
"Why? He might be able to do something about this," the Doctor said, looking for their attacker who had chased them up here.
"Yeah, but I can just imagine what he would say, 'The Doctor and Rose sitting in a tree'." Rose rolled her eyes. "He would never let us forget about this, and probably twist it so it's 'the Doctor and Rose shagging in a tree'."
The Doctor grimaced. "Yeah, he would definitely do that. How is that song, 'someone and someone sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G', right?"
"Yeah, then 'first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. Again, Jack would probably say, 'First comes sex, then comes more sex, and then comes a baby with an extra heart'," she laughed a little at the look on the Doctor's face. "Hang on, just stay like that, I need to get my phone." He poked out his tongue at her, crossing his eyes at the same time, unaware she had already gotten her phone out. "Perfect. Oh, mom is going to love this. I think it's going to be next years Christmas cards."
"Rose Tyler, when we get back to the TARDIS, I am going to tickle you without mercy! Unless you delete that picture right now."
"Sorry, but that's not going to happen," Rose said and put the phone back in her pocket. "This is so worth the tickling."
The Doctor pouted (though he always tried to deny it, he did tend to pout in this body) and started to continue their song, "That's not it, that's not all, the baby is drinking alcohol."
"What? No, it's 'suckin' his thumb, wettin' his pants, doin' the naked baby dance That's not all, that's not all, Daddy's drinking alcohol'"
"I don't drink alcohol!" the Doctor said."Why would I, it's not like I actually get drunk from your poor alcohol."
"Is the song still about the two of us?" she asked. "Because I remember a certain night where a certain time lord made a bet with a certain captain about who could drink the most of one of the strongest drinks in that galaxy, and ended up on a table singing 'Time Warp'. Without his pants."
"You swore you would never, ever speak of that again," he said. "Besides, I did win the bet. Got to watch Jack Harkness go for an entire week without flirting with anyone. He looked ready to explode within three hours. It was priceless"
"Yeah, and you got the biggest hangover in the history of hangovers. It took you three days to recover enough to pilot the TARDIS again without risking a crash. And let me tell you, when you're drunk you're the biggest flirt in the Universe, even worse than Jack. You kept trying to look down my top and told me I was 'free to take advantage of you' when I tried to put you to bed. And then you snogged me before passing out."
"Really? I did?" the Doctor asked, looking shocked. "Pity I don't remember that... I mean, I am so, so sorry I did that. Hey, do you think it's gone? Maybe we should try to climb down, and run to the TARDIS, maybe Jack's there."
"Doctor," Rose said and he knew he wasn't going to get out of it. "Do you want to... kiss me?"
"What? Kiss you? I don't think it would be that bad, but I don't long to do it. It's not like I have dreamed about kissing a conscious you since I met you. And I have not been looking for excuses to snog you everywhere, and I have most certainly never considered acting like I was possessed, just to have an excuse. Never, ever, ever." He caught her gaze. "What?"
"My god, you really, really want to kiss me," she said.
"Did you listen to a word I just said?"
"Yes, every-single-one." With each word she moved a little bit closer until their breaths mingled. The Doctor grabbed the branch underneath, remembering he was in a tree with Rose Tyler, and that there was a crazy beast ready to tear them apart somewhere nearby. And then she pressed her lips against his and despite his tight grib, he nearly fell over. For a moment they remained still, but then one of her hands cradled his neck, forcing the kiss to deepen into a full-blown snog.
"Are you kidding me?" a voice suddenly yelled from below. They abruptly broke apart and looked down. Jack was standing with a smug smile on his face. "I can't leave you alone for two hours before you start snogging. The beast is gone, but please, don't let that stop you, just continue as long as I can stand here and watch."
"Shut up, Harkness," the Doctor said. He started to climb down, his cheeks bright red. Suddenly, he lost his grip, dropping the last two meters down and managed to land right on his back. He groaned in pain, and to make it worse, Rose managed to do the same, landing right in on top of him. They were face to face and when for a moment they just stared, unconsciously moving towards each other.
"Oh, you're going to give me a good show, I see," Jack said. "Hang on, I need to get my video camera and popcorn. Oh, this is going to be good."
"SHUT UP, JACK!" the Doctor and Rose yelled in unison. She quickly got to her feet and helped the Doctor up.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
"Just the old age getting to me," the Doctor said. "Give me two minutes, and I'll be fine."
"You know," Jack said as they started to walk back to the TARDIS. "This makes me want to sing a song. The Doctor and Rose sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Starts with a s and ends on a x, oh my god, they're having-" He never got to finish, as the Doctor and Rose tackled him to the ground.