Little random SWTOR fic I wrote a while ago. Hope you enjoy. :) Dedicated to strawbeki for encouraging me to upload it!
"So... you have a fiancé."
Out of the corner of her eye, Edris saw Corso smile at her, and she focused intently on the controls of the ship.
"Ex-fiancé," he corrected, sounding half amused. "Why?"
"No reason," she lied. Corso raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. She was able to maintain her silence for only a few seconds before her curiosity threatened to eat her alive. "I mean, fiancé. That's pretty serious. Expensive rings, families getting together, boring ceremonies... Plus, all that commitment stuff."
"That's pretty much how it works, captain."
He was enjoying this, she sulked. A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth despite his best attempts to look serious, and she shifted in her chair, wishing he'd keep talking so she could stop making a fool of herself. Of course not. Too much fun to see her squirm.
"But you never mentioned her before, so I didn't know if..."
"If what?" He turned in his chair to look straight at her. "If I still loved her?"
She flinched at that, pointedly not looking at him. "I mean, you were engaged. You were actually, seriously going to get married." The very thought boggled her mind, but she pressed on. "Then the Separatists show up and you drop her like a bad habit and never speak to her again?"
It was his turn to wince, and Edris regretted the words as soon as she'd spoken them. She knew he wasn't over the death of his family, but she couldn't help wondering if he missed this mystery girl anywhere near as much as he missed them.
Not that she cared, of course. Totally unimportant. Simple curiosity, nothing more.
"I- didn't take it very well," he said slowly, measuring his words with care. "When my family died, I just... That part of my life was over. I cut myself off from reminders. Talkin' to her would have been too painful. For both of us. I sent her a holo, and that was it."
She'd never allowed a relationship go on long enough for the other person to end it, but a holo to call off an engagement was cold, even by her standards. It didn't seem like Corso at all. He must have been a wreck, she thought, wishing she'd been there to kill the bastards that had done that to him. "And she just accepted that?"
He shook his head. "She tried to talk a few times after that. Even found out where I was working once, but I didn't see her." He sounded regretful, almost wistful. "Almost wish I'd done things differently, but it's been years."
"Ever think about trying to get in touch?"
He started to shake his head, then looked up at her, somewhat guiltily. "Sometimes I wonder if she's doin' all right, but I don't even know if she's alive."
"Then how about we track her down?"
He looked up at her in surprise, and she kept her face a careful neutral. "Why?"
She shrugged, trying to look casual. "Thought it might make you feel better to talk to her. After everything that happened, everything we're doing here... it might be good for you to talk to her again. It'd be easier."
"Easier than what? Being with you?"
Her heart thumped loudly in her chest, but she kept her eyes stubbornly on the ship controls. "I'm not really the marriage type, Corso. I don't plan on settling down." That wasn't precisely true – every smuggler she knew had a dream of buying land and retiring eventually, and she was no exception, but she didn't want to give him false hopes. Who knew if she'd even live long enough to retire? "It's a dangerous galaxy and I don't want to drag you around almost getting you killed now that I know you want some... nice girl to have a normal life with. It doesn't seem fair to-"
He was out of his seat and next to her faster than she thought he could move, and before she knew it he'd shut her up with a kiss, one hand cupping her cheek and the other around her back pulling her close. She stood up so they could be closer and wrapped her arms around him, loving the warmth of him against her, the feel of their hearts thumping in unison.
"Thanks for the offer, captain, but I'm gonna have to pass," he finally said, his dark eyes holding her own green ones. "We've got too much left to do for me to back out now."
"As sure as I've ever been about anything." He chuckled and shook his head. "I thought I knew you pretty well, captain, but I never would have guessed you were the self-sacrificing type."
She flushed slightly and grinned. "Doesn't sound like me, does it?"
"Not one bit."
"Well, I'm like that sometimes," she admitted. "But only in special situations."
Corso smiled down at her. "I guess this one of those special ones, then."
He asked the question so sweetly that she opened her mouth to respond before quickly realizing the weight her answer carried. She didn't quite know what to say, and her heart pounded in her chest as he held her gaze. Even with her questionable morals, she knew that leading Corso on would be wrong – sweet, naïve Corso, who wanted so badly to have a family again.
"I can't give you what you need," she told him instead, pulling away and turning to look out the cockpit windows, leaning against the back of her pilot's chair.
"And what's that?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Any of it, Corso. Marriage. Little farm on Ord Mantell. We're not even the same species, so kids are out of the question," she said dryly, trying to hide how seriously she was taking this conversation.
"I never said-"
"I know. But you're not exactly hard to read," she said, interrupting him with a half-smile. "Not fair to keep you hanging on when I know this isn't what you want."
"Edris..." he began, using her given name for once, then shook his head. "You're right."
She'd known she was, but she couldn't help the pang in her heart. "I am?"
He nodded slowly. "I do want to get married, and I want a farm on Ord Mantell, and I want kids. But they don't matter, because I don't want any of them as much as I want you."
She turned back to face him, her eyes betraying her surprise. "But that's- It's your dream, isn't it? I know I'm a stubborn ronto, but it can't always be my way. That's too much." She shook her head. "It's not fair to you."
"We both get to decide what we want out of this, don't we?" he asked. "I'm not asking you to marry me, captain. And if you really don't ever want to get married, then I never will. That's your choice, and I'll do my best to respect that."
She hesitated, then nodded. "I... Thanks," she managed.
He took a step toward her, taking her hand. "But you have to let me make a choice too, and mine is that I want to be with you, more than anything else. Even if you never want to settle down, I want to stay with you, for as long as you'll have me."
Her mouth had gone dry and her heart was pounding, and she struggled to find the words to respond. "I don't want to get you killed. I can't- I couldn't-"
"Hey, don't think that way." He closed the gap between him and wrapped his arms around her, and she allowed herself to lean into his chest. "If I got killed, it'd be my own damn fault. What happened to the selfish pirate I thought I knew?"
"She fell for someone way too good for her and went legit," she replied, her voice slightly muffled against him.
He leaned back slightly so he could meet her eyes. "A good guy, hmm? Should I be jealous?"
"Not a one." She smiled, and he returned it.
"That's all I needed to hear." His eyes sparkled with mischief. "How about I make you forget all about this 'good guy?'"
She grinned. "You always know just what to say."
"Coming from you, captain, that's a hell of a compliment."
"What can I say, I'm a good influence when it comes to being a smartass."
"Sure are. But you know what?"
"You talk too much."
He leaned down to kiss her, and she didn't say much after that.