A/N: SO SO SORRY! I will be updating more frequently now that school is over i promise!
I have decided that i will only be doing review responses to people who ask questions. It would be pointless to reply to all of them. So if you have anything to ask me, please do, and i will answer, i promise! Enjoy :)
I woke to the metallic taste of blood.
I cringed and leaned down to my left, spitting the incriminating substance onto the hard floor. I looked around the room- concrete walls, dirty floor covered with blood and other things I wasn't sure I wanted to identify.
I realized with a start that the memories of my friends laughing at me in the great hall weren't real; they were just a dream. The thought brought some comfort to me, but not much, as I had still been kidnapped. But at least, if anything, I got the comfort of knowing that my friends didn't do this.
It was my father this time.
After being kidnapped from the school i was brought back to my home and put in some sort of underground prison that I hadn't known existed until I was roughly shoved inside, where I promptly passed out from the beating I had endured only minutes before.
There was a small lamp in the corner where I was lying, producing barely enough light to illuminate my body.
But it was enough.
I could see every bruise, every injury on my frail form.
My pale skin was barely recognizable, covered almost completely by fist shaped bruises, cuts made by a rusty knife, and whip burns.
Footsteps echoed outside the door and I quickly slid down the wall, closing my eyes and breathing slowly, imitating sleep. The door creaked open, and two sets of voices filtered in.
"Good, the bitch is asleep." I recognized the first gruff voice as my father, and almost winced when he brushed a calloused finger over my cheek.
"How much are you looking to get for her?" Another, slightly higher, voice chimed in, and the sound of papers rustling.
"I don't care how much. Just take her off my hands." The sound of a pen scribbling.
"1 grand do it for ya?"
"That's more than enough." I could hear the smile in his voice. I had to stifle a gasp. He was selling me? A human being?
"Well, if the amount is settled, than all you have to do is sign here" more rustling, "and here. We'll send someone to pick her up in a week or so." Another pen noise. He had signed the form. Signed me away to a stranger.
"Great. If we're done, then let's head back upstairs…" The door slammed shut behind them, and my eyes flew open.
My father was selling me.
I would never get to go to school again. All those days I took for granted, all those interesting lessons and experiments, I would never get to see again. I had spent years of my life in a classroom, learning, practicing, and for what? So I could become a sex slave? Some puppet to be bought and sold?
I would never get my dream of becoming a healer. I would never get to have the satisfaction of erasing someone's wounds, someone's pain. I had worked so hard for that, taken so many extra classes, endured so many sleepless nights to study, and I would never get the chance. Never even get to try.
I would never talk to a teacher again. McGonagall- she had done so much for me. Encouraged me when I felt inadequate gave me private lessons in transfiguration when I fell behind. Flitwick had cheered me up when I felt like crying. Dumbledore was the most inspirational and insightful man I knew. They had been my parental figures, the only adults in my life I could trust. They had done so much for me, and I would never get the chance to thank them.
I would never read a book again. I would never eat a chocolate bar again. I would never laugh again. I would never walk the halls of Hogwarts again.
I would never see my friends again.
The words brought tears to my eyes.
I had been such a shitty friend to them, always keeping secrets, lying. They had all saved my life, saved me from myself, more times than I could count. Lily had been there for me since we started school. Sure, she was hotheaded, but she was the best friend that I could ever ask for. James was there to makes bad jokes, or to cheer me up. He never asked questions, just smiled that crooked smile and somehow everything was alright. Sirius was one of the best people I knew, by far. He was my best friend, and in my fight with Lily, was the one person I could really count on. And Remus…
I would never see his smile again. I would never watch him read during potions, watch his eyebrows and mouth twitch when he read a funny line. I would never talk to him again, never look into his chocolate eyes.
I would never get to kiss him.
I would never get to call him mine.
That was all I really wanted, anyway, was someone to call my own. I just wanted people who loved me. And I had almost had that with the Marauders and Lily.
I was so close.
But I just had to go and mess it up, like I mess up everything else. I had to lie and keep secrets and I just had to get to close.
I should never have gotten that close.
Because anything that touches me breaks. I hurt everyone and everything around me. I hurt them. I could see it in their eyes on that night, when they yelled at me. Their voices expressed anger, but their eyes… They were full of pain. Pain that I caused.
And now I would never see them again. And I could never apologize for the damage I had done.
I just had to sit here and wait for the end.
Not the end, per say, but rather the beginning. Then beginning of hell.
I had heard about these things, these girls sold into slavery. I had seen the news reports and the interviews with them after being rescued. It did not matter that they were saved; the damage had already been done. Their skin was pale and their body was bruised and their eyes were dull and lifeless. They were just a shell of a human being. That was just the "lucky" few, though, most died of starvation or drug overdose, or were beaten to death.
I knew that, once I was taken by that man, I would never be saved. I would never be okay again.
And all I really wanted was for Remus or Sirius or Lily or someone to come down into my tiny cell in the basement, hold me, and tell me I was loved. That's all.
But nobody came, and nobody would, and I could feel myself slipping. I could feel my carefully constructed walls breaking down.
My eyes watered and for the first time in 11 years, I didn't rub the tears away.
For the first time in 11 years, I cried.