To the tune, of course, of the Major-General's song. There are some doubtful rhymes in here, I'll admit, but poetry has never been Ungoliant's strong side, and I did not dare to critisize her for fear that she would turn me into a literal ghost-writer.

I am the very model of a spider-shaped monstrosity,
I have committed many a despisable atrocity,
I slew the Trees of Valinor, they tasted most deliciously;
I drank their juicy sap after I'd stabbed them rather viciously.
My final fate is unclear, my origin is quite mystical,
the only certain thing is that I'm wholly egoistical;
I am consumed by hunger terrible and undeniable,
which makes me, as an ally, less than ideally reliable.
I tried to eat the Dark Lord once, it was on our returning trip,
and I would have succeeded too, but for that pesky burning whip.
No other monsters equal me in power or ferocity;
I am the very model of a spider-shaped monstrosity.

My greatest dream is to consume the world in its entirety
(do you begin to see the reason for my notoriety?)
I'll devour mostly anything as long as it is edible;
the list of things that I can eat I think you'd find incredible;
it contains matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
and abstract things like light and life - well, everything, in general.
Think of me as a black hole, but with rather more appendages,
and capable of mauling you beyond the need for bandages;
you'll never see me coming until I sneak up behind your head,
and when you realize it's me I think that you will find you're dead!
I'm capable of moving with astonishing velocity;
I am the very model of a spider-shaped monstrosity.

I look just like a spider, of proportions astronomical;
I have a poison handy for purposes gastronomical,
but in my arsenal the trick undoubtely most frightening
is the unlight I can emit - a sort of anti-lightening.
You may have heard of Shelob, but she's merely imitating me;
I'd squash her like a house-fly if she started irritating me.
And other monsters, they play in a different league entirely,
they'll never reach my prowess in advancing fear-inspiringly;
no cosmic horror, no matter how foul and non-Euclidean,
can ever beat a good old-fashioned giant arachnidian.
Concur, now that you've listened to my eloquent verbosity:
I am the very model of a spider-shaped monstrosity!