Disgrace, in which Blaine's family sees the Christmas special.


Blaine was in a good mood as he walked down the hall. Maybe it was the Christmas decorations around the school. Maybe it was the fact he and his friends had been in a Christmas special the weekend before. Maybe it was because he'd spent the whole weekend volunteering at the homeless shelter. Maybe it was because he and Kurt had just boldly shared a kiss in the hall before running in opposite directions to their lockers. Maybe it was just the Christmas feeling in the air.

Whatever it was, Blaine was in a good mood.

And then his phone rang.

As he slipped the device from his bag his eyes lit up at the name on the screen. Mom calling. His mom? His mom was calling him? He hadn't spoken to his mother since Thanksgiving, this was fantastic! He'd had so many things he'd wanted to talk to her about. "Mama, hi! How are-"

"What were you thinking?" Blaine froze mid-step, his mother's cold, frantic tone was not what he'd been expecting.

"What do you mean?" Blaine quickly ducked into the choir room, away from eavesdropping peers.

"What do you think I mean, Blaine? How could you humiliate our family like that?"

"Mama, I don't-"

"Don't you 'mama' me, Blaine! Your grandmother saw the Christmas special!" Blaine's heart dropped. He hadn't thought of that. He'd just thought of having a good time with his friends, with his boyfriend. He'd thought of the opportunities this could open up for the club and for him. He just assumed with his parents being out of town no one would see it. He hadn't thought of his grandmother. "Have nothing to say, do you?"

"Mom, it was just a fun thing. I didn't do anyth-"

"You were on it with that boy! You were playing house on TV with a boy, Blaine!"

"We weren't together on it, mama, we were just-"

"Best friend and holiday roommate, Blaine – do you think I'm fucking stupid? Do you?"

"No, mama." Blaine found himself whispering.

"You're damn right I'm not stupid! And neither is our family, our friends! You went on TV and basically told the world you're—" His mother's angry words trailed off.

"That I'm what, mom? Gay? This isn't news."

"Don't you fucking get smart with me, Blaine. You don't know what you are! You're 15-"

"I'm 17, mom! About to be 18!"

"Still, Blaine! You're a child! You don't know what you are or who you love-"

"Yes I do, mom!" Blaine found himself exploding, "I know who I am and I know who I love! I love Kurt, mom!"

"Oh, st-" But he wasn't done.

"And you know what? Yeah, maybe the special was tongue and cheek and our relationship was not so subtle. But it was fun mom. And you know what? Kurt's way better at loving me than you and dad ever were!" There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.

"So that's it then. You'd rather choose-"

"Choose what mom? I'm not choosing anything. I am who I am. I'm in love with Kurt! Why can't you just accept that?"

His mother's voice was barely a whisper, "You've humiliated our whole family. You've humiliated and disgraced us because you're a selfish, naive little boy."


"If you want to be a dirty faggot that's fine Blaine, but until you come to your senses you are no son of mine."

Blaine physically flinched at his mother's use of the 'f-word'. She'd never called him that, ever. His heart stopped, his chest felt like it was on fire, he couldn't breathe. "Mama–no, you can't-"

"When I get home on New Years have your things gone. Until you come to your senses I don't want you in my house."

"Mama, please, don't-"

"You're a disgrace to this family, Blaine. A disgusting disgrace. I've never been more humiliated in my life. How could you—how can I—I wish I had never had you." The last part was barely a whisper, barely a breath. But Blaine heard it.

"Mama, don't say that-"

"Goodbye, Blaine."

"Mama, I—!" But the line went dead. "Mom?" She'd hung up. She'd basically disowned him and just hung up.

A strangled sob escaped Blaine as he sank to his knees. He clutched the phone tight in his hand as ugly, noisy, messy sobs ripped from his chest. His mother, the one person in his life who is supposed to love him automatically and unconditionally, just told him she wished he'd never been born.

His mother hates him.

"Mommy." He sobbed out, burying his head in his hands.

All his happiness, all his Christmas cheer, all his love and good feeling was gone. Everything good was gone. All that was left was a broken boy sobbing on the floor. A boy who's mother hates him and father barely acknowledges him. Not a boy who had good friends, a wonderful boyfriend, a healthy loving relationship. That would never define him. He would only ever be defined as a faggot, a disgrace.

No matter what he did he would never make his parents proud. He would only ever be a disgrace to them.

"I wish I'd never had you."

I wish you'd never had me too, mom. I wish you'd never had me too…