A/N: Thank you so much to my faithful readers and subscribers! You guys are awesome! And a big thanks to Shananigan, rebelstarsalign, Columbia R0se, Guest, gleeothfriends90210cccjsAMD, lizzydoesntknow12, Randomly-hyper8711, Ellii51, Msjanelle32, andsoitis2, Guest, marine 04, FF2Addict, miss agron, and MsKylie93. It still blows my mind that one chapter of mine can get so much positive response. I love hearing what you have to say so feel free to review or PM me with any comments or questions.
Here's a little bit of a warning for you thought: parts of this chapter are a bit T++ rated. I don't think it's anything too bad, and not nearly as lemony as my parts of my other stories, but I figured I would let you know. Title and Lyrics belong to Lady Antebellum. I found them oddly fitting for this chapter.
Dancing Away With My Heart
"I finally asked you to dance on the last slow song,
Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball.
I can still feel my head on your shoulder,
And hoping that song would never be over.
I haven't seen you in ages,
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are.
For me, you'll always be eighteen and beautiful,
And dancing away with my heart.
I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes,
And the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind.
I can still feel you lean in to kiss me,
I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me."
Puck felt like his head was spinning ever since Quinn's little outburst in the car earlier that day. In fact, in the past several hours since then, he was pretty sure the shock still hadn't worn off.
She wanted to have sex with him.
However, even though her request sounded well thought out and Quinn didn't seem to hesitate at all in asking for what she apparently wanted, part of him was still a bit wary as to why she was doing this.
He raked his hand across his head and sat back in the collapsible camp chair he always took with him in his truck, the solitude of the forest near the lake a welcome break from the madness going on at their houses less than 10 minutes down the road. As he stared out over the glassy water, he found himself more and more confused as to where Quinn was going with all of this.
Sure, he couldn't deny the crazy chemistry the two of them still had going and it wasn't like he didn't want to sleep with her. In fact, he had lost count of the many times he fantasized about having her or dreamed about her under him, writhing in ecstasy. But then again, he was a guy and guys thought about sex at least a hundred times a day. But Quinn? She was the goody-two-shoes of their group for the longest time, always saying she wanted to wait for the perfect guy before giving it up when they were in high school.
Puck gulped down a few more slugs of water before shaking his head, trying to get the thought of another man touching Quinn in that way out of his mind. Even though their relationship had become strained over the past several years, Puck knew that Quinn still never took sex very lightly. It was something sacred and special to her and she had never been the type of girl to agree to a casual fling, let alone a potential one night stand. So why this and why now?
His phone buzzing in his back pocket drug him out of his thoughts, Puck checking the text from Finn and groaning at the thought of facing the real world again that afternoon, or more like the thought of facing Quinn again.
The one thing he always had known and admired about her was the fact that she was always poised and organized, many times letting you think that you were in control of a situation when in reality she was pulling all of the strings. He knew that she would probably want an answer to her proposition soon and deep down he knew what his answer was already, there was no way he could deny her, but he also knew he needed to keep his guard up as well. His last intimate encounter with Quinn eight years ago left him a little rough afterwards and he knew all too well that it was entirely possible it could happen again this time if he let it.
After a few more minutes of internal debate, Puck finally pushed himself out of his chair and packed it back up in his truck before setting off toward the grocery store to pick up a few things Finn had forgotten for the bar-be-cue he and Rachel were throwing that evening for all of their friends coming in from out of town.
Good thing the liquor store is right next to the grocery store, Puck thought as he drove in silence, a little liquid courage sounding good for when he had to face Quinn again.
Quinn couldn't help but smile as she watched Finn and Rachel greet all of their guests as they made their way into the backyard. Finn and Rachel were so natural around one another, the two of them smiling and laughing as they spoke to their friends and Quinn couldn't help but be a tiny bit jealous of the happy couple.
Don't get her wrong, she loved both of her friends and was thrilled that they finally found their happily ever after, but as she neared her mid to late twenties Quinn yearned for the same thing. She had dated around in high school and college but never seemed to have the luck to find someone who wanted something more from her than a few nights in bed or a more casual thing.
She bit her lip as she thought back to her last long term boyfriend Sean and how she thought he may be the one. He was handsome and charming and he seemed to really love her too. In fact, he was one of the few boyfriends she had actually introduced her mom to, Sean joining her and her mom, as well as Ruth and Carole, for Thanksgiving two and a half years ago. He charmed everyone there, her own mother and Carole joking about when they were going to get married and give Judy some grandbabies.
But just thinking about what happened after that holiday left a sour taste in her mouth.
It was a few days before they were both supposed to go back to Lima for Christmas and Quinn had been running around trying to finish up her holiday shopping. She giggled to herself when she thought of the sassy little red lace number she bought for Sean, hoping he would enjoy his little early Christmas present when she gave it to him that night as they wouldn't get a chance to be alone with each other again until after they returned from the holiday.
She collected her bags from the back of her car and made her way up the stairs toward the apartment she and Sean shared, making sure to dust the remaining snow off of her coat and boots before pushing open their front door. She set the bags down on the counter and shuffled through the mail before a very feminine sounding giggle caught her attention. She looked into the living room and then around the corner into their bedroom just in time to watch a very naked brunette walk out of their bathroom, the girl oblivious to Quinn as she wrapped her wet form in one of Quinn's towels.
Quinn could only stand there and stare, everything around her frozen as she watched the girl look back into the bathroom and smile before dropping the towel completely and signaling to someone else to follow her to the bed. The girl lay down and made herself comfortable as she spread her legs and started teasing herself, earning a deep groan from inside the bathroom.
"Babe, you're killing me," Sean's voice echoed from the bathroom, "That's right, get yourself nice and ready for me cuz we gotta make this one quick."
"But why?" the girl on the bed whined.
"Because Quinn's gonna be home soon," he replied, his hulking form appearing in the bathroom doorway as he stroked himself and grinned, "And I don't want her finding out about us."
That was the straw that broke Quinn out of her shock, anger and hurt washing over her as she crossed her arms.
"Too late," she replied, trying to keep her voice even as she prayed the tears that were pricking at her eyes would at least wait until she got out of there.
Sean's head snapped toward the door, a look of shock and guilt on his face as he quickly grabbed the discarded towel off of the floor and tried to cover up. The girl looked shocked too, quickly sitting up and covering herself with a rumpled sheet as she glanced back and forth between Quinn and Sean. Quinn felt the bile rise in her throat as she recognized the girl; she saw her on a daily basis as the brunette worked in the design department of Quinn's company.
"Babe, look this isn't –" Sean began as he made his way toward where Quinn stood.
"Oh for the love of God, just save it," Quinn snapped, taking a step back from him, "Don't try to tell me that this isn't what it looks like. And never call me babe again."
She turned around quickly and walked back out into their apartment, grabbing her already packed suitcase and a few gift bags from the living room before pulling her coat on and grabbing her purse.
"Wait Quinnie," Sean called after her, the man desperately trying to pull on a pair of shorts as he walked after her, "Quinn, would you just wait for a second and let me explain?"
Quinn spun around quickly, the tears already flowing as she faced him, Sean's face melting into an expression of guilt.
"There is nothing to explain," she replied strongly before her voice dropped down to almost a whisper, "You know how I feel about cheating."
"Quinn, just hang on a second, ok? We can work this out. Don't leave yet."
Quinn clenched her jaw and wiped away a few tears before standing up straight and looking him directly in the eyes, "I'm going home for the next week. I expect you to be gone by the time I get back."
"Quinn, please—" he pleaded.
"You may want to start packing," she warned, "Because anything you leave is getting thrown away or donated."
And with that she grabbed her keys, shooting one last parting glance at Sean and her co-worker, who had made her way into the living room, before slamming the door on her way out.
Quinn smiled sadly to herself as she reminisced on that particularly rough weekend.
What made it even worse was that a few days later, Ruth Puckerman walked through her front door to join Quinn and her mom for Christmas dinner, her neighbor woman followed closely by her only son. Quinn hadn't seen him in years up until then, Puck always making up an excuse not to come home for the holidays that he was actually stateside for. She wasn't quite ready to face him again, Sean's betrayal so fresh in her mind that Puck's sudden appearance was definitely a shock, one that her heart wasn't quite ready to deal with after everything that had happened.
She tried to be cordial at dinner but she knew she came off rude, the wounds still fresh from the events a few nights before that she wasn't sure if she could muster the energy to be super friendly toward anyone really.
By the end of the night, she and Puck had actually engaged in some light conversation and it wasn't as awkwardly tense as it had been when she last saw him prior to one of his deployments, but it was still strange being around him, his presence quite overwhelming as they stood there preparing to say goodnight. The way he looked at her and smiled that perfect smile…her heart fluttered and she couldn't quite decipher what all she was feeling at the time before he leaned in and hugged her goodnight. His touch was electric, the feeling of his hands on her back soothing and exciting at the same time. But she was far too confused about everything, from Sean betrayal to Puck's sudden appearance, that she just stood there frozen, barely reciprocating the hug before he pulled away, a sad smile on his face as he turned to leave.
That was the last time she had seen him before he popped back into her life that morning, always seeming to show up when some aspect of her life was falling apart. Whether it was her family, her relationships or her career, he always seemed to be there when her life was in shambles. She couldn't explain it, nor did she really want to try, but just his presence was enough to comfort her and give her the confidence to push through whatever was going on in her life, even if his visits were brief.
"You know, thinking too hard is actually bad for you," a voice called from behind her.
Quinn was thankful for the distraction, pulling her away from those particular thoughts before she could further analyze the situation more than she needed to, a grin breaking out on her face as she turned around to face the voice.
"At least I use my intelligence for good instead of evil," she replied, smirking at her old friend.
"Oh ouch, my pride," the girl mocked, placing a hand over her heart in feigned hurt, "Plus, we all know evil is more fun. Besides, you were looking like you were constipated standing there, I felt like I needed to intervene."
"Well thank you so much for your concern, Ms. Lopez."
"Just looking out for ya, Fabray," Santana replied before opening her arms up and raising her eyebrows in invitation.
Quinn smiled back and took the last few steps toward Santana, engulfing the Latina in a hug.
"It's good to see you again, San. It's been a while."
"That it has, Blondie. You're looking good," Santana replied genuinely, pulling back from their hug.
"Thanks! So do you," Quinn replied, glancing around behind Santana, "Where's Brit? Is she coming tonight?"
"Oh yeah, she wouldn't miss it. But I think Carole caught her when she was still outside and you know how she gets when she's got a few glasses of wine in her. You can't shut the woman up."
"A trait my mother and Ruth share with her as well," Quinn joked, looking back out the patio door at the rest of the bridal party and assorted guests mingling around a table of appetizers and buckets of refreshments.
A royal blue t-shirt from across the yard caught her eye, Puck's toned and tanned physique standing out amongst a few of Finn's teammates from college as they chatted under one of the many decorated trees. As she watched him converse, she couldn't help but smile, his easygoing nature and natural wit creating an almost magnetizing effect that drew people to him. He had all of the guys in stitches over some story that he was telling and Quinn couldn't help but try to guess which tale in his arsenal he decided to whip out for this particular occasion.
"Speaking of looking good, your man candy is looking real good these days," Santana commented, sidling up next to Quinn and looking out into the yard.
"What?" Quinn asked, "Man candy? What are you talking about?"
"Really Quinn?" Santana smirked, nodding out the window in Puck's direction, "I may not be the brightest bulb in the tanning bed at times, but I'm not blind. I see the way you've always looked at him. Frankly, I'm shocked you've never tried to jump his bones."
Quinn clenched her teeth and swallowed hard, trying to recover before the ever observant Santana caught her little slip. If only she knew, Quinn thought to herself, shaking her head before smiling and changing the subject.
"So, what's your preference this month? Beer? Wine? Or can I interest you in a Fabray specialty dirty martini?"
"Now you're speaking my language," Santana grinned, heading out the patio door after Quinn.
"So, any of you gents up for a little game of football?" Puck called out to rest of the guests once the food had been devoured, spinning a football around on his palm.
Every guy present looked around at one another before smiling and agreeing, Puck and Finn huddling together to figure out how to split up their new touch football teams.
"Ahem? Excuse us?" Rachel asked, clearing her throat. Everyone went silent as they looked back at the small group of women standing in front of them, Rachel speaking up once she had the boys' attention, "What about us?"
"What about you?" Puck asked in return, confused as to what she wanted.
"What teams are we on?" she asked, looking back and signaling toward a few of the girls standing near her.
"What are you talking about?" Puck replied, "You mean you want to play?"
"Well, we were on the football team in high school," Rachel's friend Tina chimed in, grinning back at the boys, "Well, we didn't have enough guys to play for a couple of games and we didn't want them to have to forfeit the rest of the season, so we joined."
"Yeah, we can hold our own, trust me," Rachel's other friend Mercedes offered.
"You know what, I'm with Aretha over here," Santana added, ignoring the glare Mercedes shot her way after the nickname Santana bestowed upon her, "I want to play and I know me, Quinn and Britts can hold our own as well. So split the teams evenly, Popeye," she teased, sneering slightly at Puck as he too shot her a look at the nickname she gave him after joining the Navy.
After taking a few moments to discuss the possible teams, Finn finally stood up straight and looked out toward everyone else gathered around, "Ok, on my team I've got Ben, Tyler, Blaine, Mercedes, Quinn and Britney on my team."
A few of Finn's friends from college smiled and high-fived each other before joining Finn's step brother's boyfriend and the three girls on his side of the yard, while Puck cleared his throat to announce his team, "And I've got Mike, Kurt, Matt, Santana, Tina and Rachel on my team."
The teams set up on opposite sides of the Puckermans' backyard, flipping a coin to see who would take the ball first. Puck's team won and he let Finn's friend Matt take over at the quarterback position, the shy young man calling out a few plays that were unsuccessful before he connected with Rachel in the end zone on third down, Rachel celebrating with an impromptu touchdown dance as she spiked the ball on the ground. Finn smiled at his soon-to-be bride and jogged over to where she was, lifting her up and spinning her around before planting a kiss on her lips, the rest of the group groaning over the PDA going on right in front of them.
Rachel playfully pushed him away and jogged back to her team's huddle, Santana and Tina smiling back at her as she rejoined the group.
In turn, Finn brought his team together and tried to come up with a game plan before breaking their huddle and setting their plan into motion. Their first down was a complete disaster, Finn overthrowing Mike and almost causing a turn over. However, his second down throw was a beautiful spiral, his childhood friend Quinn snagging it easily out of mid-air.
Quinn glanced around the field for open space to run, trying to avoid all of the players on Puck's team before a hulking form came out of nowhere, grabbing her by the waist and gently tackling her to the ground.
"This is touch football, you jerk!" Quinn exclaimed as she tried to wiggle free of his grasp, his body pinning her to the grass, "Get off of me!"
"I am touching you," Puck grinned before leaning in close to her ear, "And I don't think you mind me being on top of you right now."
"You're too heavy," she attempted to complain, her voice not sounding too convincing as she quit trying to fight him.
Puck couldn't help but smile against her skin, "And I want to touch you a lot more too," he explained before planting a quick, gentle kiss under her earlobe and easing up off of her.
Quinn looked back up at him as he stood and held out his hand, the gentle touch of her hand in his as he helped her up feeling like electricity running through his veins. He watched as her own pupils dilated, her expression turning almost hungry as she bit her lip and gazed back at him, Puck smiling as he took in her appearance.
He wanted nothing more than to lean forward and capture her lips with his own, to taste her sweetness again, but they were surrounded by quite a few people and it was neither the time nor the place for that. Plus, how the hell would he even begin to explain what they were. Realistically, they weren't really anything besides old friends who just agreed to sleep together, but every bone in his body ached for more.
He felt himself harden slightly at the thought of getting to sleep with her, Puck quickly offering her a grin before jogging off back to his own team, giving himself a little time to calm down.
However, calming down was impossible when the two teams played for about an hour, Quinn and Puck trading off secretive and sneaky gropes and touches throughout the rest of the game. Finally, when people decided to call it quits and relax with a cocktail for a bit, the sexual frustration and tension between him and Quinn had become almost unbearable, Puck standing from his seat and making his way toward where Quinn stood by the makeshift bar making herself a drink.
"So, what are you doing later?" he asked, sliding up behind Quinn and taking a moment to breathe in the subtle floral scent of her lotion.
He watched her lick her bottom lip before pulling it in between her teeth for a brief moment, her voice a slight husk as she answered, "I don't know. Why? Do you have any plans?"
Puck took another step toward her, his body shielding the two of them from the group of people sitting on the patio behind them as he reached out and stroked the soft skin of her arm, "My mom is working the night shift tonight and I was hoping someone would like to join me so I wouldn't have to sleep in that big, scary house alone."
Quinn chuckled at his teasing tone, before taking a sip of her cocktail and turning to face him, "I think I know someone who could help you out with that."
"Mmmhmm," she purred, leaning up to his ear, "The ball is back in your court now."
She quirked an eyebrow up at him before swirling her drink with the tiny straw and pulling it up to her mouth, gently peeling the cherry off of the straw with her tongue. Puck swallowed hard and licked his own lips, his entire body reawakening at the sight of her sensuous tongue playing with the delicate fruit. Quinn gave him an obvious once over before grinning back, patting him on the shoulder as she walked past him back toward her seat next to Santana and Tina.
Once she was out of earshot, Puck released the breath he didn't even know he was holding and tried to relax, desperately thinking of everything from baseball to cold showers to get himself to calm down a bit, but after a few more minutes trying to stall by making another drink, it was really no use.
"Hey uh, I think I'm gonna head out for the night," he explained, trying to think of an excuse for his early departure before an idea hit, "I'm wiped and I still need to work on my best man speech, so I'll see you all around this week."
Puck gave everyone a brief wave before excusing himself and walking back into his house. Once inside, he looked back to see if anyone was watching him before finding a window he could watch everyone from. From the looks of it, everyone was getting a bit tired, Mercedes, Kurt and Blaine already excusing themselves and heading around the house toward their cars. Shortly thereafter, most everyone else followed suit, thanking the couple for the BBQ before taking their leave as well, leaving only Rachel, Quinn and Finn to pick up the remaining remnants off of the deck.
He quickly flipped out his phone and typed a quick message to Quinn, sending it off and waiting for her reaction. He watched her laugh at something Rachel had said before her expression changed a bit, Quinn sliding her own phone out of her pocket and glancing at the message. Her face remained neutral and he could tell she was about to give in.
Quinn studied the message Puck had just sent her, wondering if she was really ready to do this. She had been the one to suggest it in the first place and there was no denying the chemistry between the two of them but this was a pretty big step. Granted, she proposed a no-strings, no-feelings, no-attachment kind of fling but deep down she wanted more than that. However, Puck was the kind of guy to really only go for the short term flings, and with how he made her feel when they were around one another, she would take whatever he would give her.
Truth be told, she was nervous and a little scared at the prospect of sleeping with Puck, old memories rising back up to the front of her mind before she forced herself to think of something else. She closed her eyes for a moment to contemplate her options and gather her courage back up if she was actually going to go through with this.
"You ok, hun?" Rachel asked, slinging an arm around Quinn's lower back.
"Yeah, just kind of tired," she replied before making her mind up as to how to proceed, "And I should probably be doing what Puck is doing and work on my maid of honor speech."
"You do look pretty tired. I bet traveling last night and the whirlwind of today has just left you completely drained," Rachel sympathized, "But you should go and head to bed. Finn and I can finish cleaning up the rest."
"Positive. We're almost done anyway, so we shouldn't be here much longer either."
Quinn nodded before offering Rachel a smile, "Well, let me know if you any help and thank you again for the bar-be-cue today. That was really nice of you guys!"
"It was the least we could do with everyone coming in so early in the week," Rachel explained, "And I feel kind of bad that everyone is already here since there's not really much left to do until Thursday this week."
"They all wanted to be here to support the two of you! Besides, it's always good to be able to have time to catch up with people every once in a while."
"You could say that again," Rachel teased before winking at Quinn.
Quinn was slightly stunned by Rachel's comment as she tried to analyze what she meant by that. How could she know what was going on? How much did she know? Had Puck said something that she was unaware of?
With that, Rachel leaned in and kissed Quinn's cheek, the smaller brunette giving Quinn another one of her famous megawatt smiles before turning around and walking off, leaving Quinn to her thoughts.
After a few more minutes of internal struggle, Quinn had finally just decided to suck it up and go for it, looking back at where Rachel and Finn continued to pick up bits and pieces of trash before walking toward her own house and cutting across the side yard between her house and Puck's.
Once she made it to the front, she rapped quietly on Puck's door before gently pushing it open and easing herself inside, silently shutting the door behind her.
"You finally made it."
"I did," Quinn replied, glancing over at the staircase where Puck sat.
Quinn barely had time to think of anything else to say before Puck had risen from his seat and was standing in front of her, his hands cupping her face as he pulled her in for a searing kiss. Lips crashed together as Quinn sagged into Puck's embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck and pulling him into her body. His tongue ghosted along her bottom lip, Quinn parting her lips as her tongue snaked out to meet his.
She shifted her stance slightly, her hips bumping up against Puck's and earning her a throaty groan as she came in contact with his very obvious bulge. One of his hands slid down to her hip, pulling her in closer grinding his hips against hers, letting her know just how ready he was for this.
After a few more moments of making out against the railing, Quinn pulled back and rested her forehead against his, taking a moment to breathe him in.
"Puck, maybe we should – you know," Quinn murmured, signaling toward the stairs.
"Probably a good idea, considering how great Finn's timing is," he teased, taking hold of one of her hands and leading her up the steps.
Quinn laughed, easily falling into step with him as they ascended the stairs. The cool breeze wafting through the windows heightened all of her senses and she felt her heart beat faster, knowing what would happen once they were alone.
She had never thought of herself as a very sexy or passionate woman, having grown up a tomboy around all of the other neighborhood boys, and she had always been able to control her desire… which was maybe the reason her last few beaus lost interest rather quickly. While she liked to be in control when it came to her life and her career, she tended to be shy and conservative when it came to the intimate side of relationships, usually feeling unsure of herself. But with Puck, both her mind and her body seemed to be constantly fixated on sex despite the painful memories of their past.
It seemed like though she initially had good intentions of playing it cool, maybe aloof even, every one of those intentions flew out the window the second he touched her. The contemplative and rational side of her had already came up with a mental list of the reasons why she shouldn't sleep with Puck, top of that list being the incident eight years ago, but as soon as he smiled or touched her, her heart began to pound and she felt a bit lightheaded, the logical part of her brain ceasing to work. And honestly, after years of existing as that buttoned-up, conservative girl, it did feel good to just let go and allow this feeling with him to consume her. In fact, she really hadn't felt this way since that night with Puck eight years ago. But this time, hopefully she would be smart enough to keep everything in check instead of putting her heart too far out there like she had the last time. After all, this was just sex.
She briefly closed her eyes as they kept climbing the stairs together, taking a deep breath as they neared the top. Was she really ready for this?
For the past few months, almost a year even, she had been feeling this emptiness inside of her, as if her life in general ceased to make her happy anymore. Her job, her relationships, her life in Connecticut… nothing. She knew she needed to be careful because it would be so easy to let Puck fill that void, and maybe it would make her feel better for a little while, rejuvenated even. But after watching the fallout from her parent's divorce and the way things crumbled after Sean cheated on her, she really wanted to believe that she didn't need a man to be happy.
She probably just needed some really good sex.
This way, she figured it would help to relieve some of her stress and hopefully bring her out of her funk. At least now she was old enough to know the difference between love and lust. If this did end up happening between her and Puck, Quinn would at least be able to control her emotions and not let herself get too carried away. And realistically, after what happened eight years ago, Puck may be the last person she would allow herself to love. But if she were really being honest with herself, he was the only man she'd known who was capable of breaking her heart… and that made him dangerous.
Yet, right now, for some reason, she wasn't afraid. She actually felt free, like she could finally act on her physical desire for him and explore this chemistry between them. She didn't have to pretend like he was just her friend anymore and she could stop pretending that she didn't care and wasn't attracted to him anymore. She was a big girl who could make her own decisions, and right now, this felt right.
Puck continued to lead her down the hall, turning back and smiling at her as they neared his room. Quinn took a ragged breath as her heart began to race. Just the thought of getting to touch him and undress him, getting to run her hands all over his body made her mind spin and her womb ache with anticipation.
Once they reached his room, Puck opened the door up for her and led her inside, the door closing behind her as she glanced around his room. Nothing had really changed over the years. Besides the new linens and a lack of girls-in-bikinis and movie posters, it was the same design and same set-up as it always had been.
She felt his arms wrap around her waist from behind as he placed a soft kiss on her neck. "I've been thinking about you all day, you know?" he murmured against her skin.
"What were you thinking about?" she asked, her breath hitching in her throat.
"About getting you alone again. What would happen this time."
"Tell me," she replied boldly, "What were you imagining would happen?"
Puck hadn't bothered turning on any lamps when they entered, leaving it to the moon to illuminate the room in its silvery light. But even though she couldn't see him all too well, she could definitely feel his warm breath against her skin, a shiver running through her body when she felt his lips brush against her jaw.
"I imagined that you would stand here in front of me and strip off your clothes slowly, allowing me to savor the view before I got to touch you again. To see if it was still as good as my dreams."
Quinn turned around in his arms, slowly unbuttoning the cardigan she wore over her shoulders before slipping it off and letting it fall to the floor behind her. Then, she eased her camisole up over her head and tossed it aside as well, leaving her in just her bra and jeans. Puck took a step back from her, pulling his own shirt up over his head to reveal the tantalizing planes of his chest and abdomen she had been fantasizing about since that morning.
He was still the boy he had always known – his short dark hair, those penetrating chocolate brown eyes, that once straight nose he had broken in a baseball game in seventh grade, and that sensuous mouth she had fantasized about since she was old enough to know what kinds of dirty things he could do with it. But even though his features remained the same, they had become a little more refined with age – his shoulders broadened, his posture straighter, and his facial features became even more captivating… she was entranced by him.
Once he had pulled his shirt off, Quinn couldn't help herself, her hands reaching out to caress the bare skin of his chest.
"What are we doing here?" she murmured, placing a gentle kiss on his chest.
"I have no idea," Puck replied, "This was your idea, but I don't want to stop."
He ran his hands down her back, leaning forward to press a line of kisses along her collarbone as his hands found their way down toward the waistband of her jeans.
"Ohh, this is going to be complicated and hard," Quinn groaned, his lips feeling so good on her skin.
"I already know something that's hard," Puck replied, pulling her hips tighter against his.
Quinn just rolled her eyes. "Plus, we're in the same state, same town, you're staying just next door… How is that hard? That's convenience and fate if you ask me," he murmured against her skin, kissing the hollow of her throat before backing her toward the bed, "I'm here now, you're here now, we've got a few comfy beds to choose from… What happens here is just between us, no one else. I promise."
Quinn swallowed hard at his comment, trying really hard to focus solely on the fact that this was just no strings attached sex and internally telling herself that she could go through with this fling and walk away at the end just fine. But she couldn't help it, wanting to know how he was feeling in that moment about everything that was happening.
"You know, this could change everything," she said softly as Puck kissed up her jaw.
He didn't answer, merely nodding into the crook of her neck as he lay her down on the bed, his body moving to cover hers.
He hadn't really given her a solid answer as to whether he realized this act could change everything between them, even more so than the last time they were in this same situation. She decided to give it one more go to see if he would react any differently to the fact that it was her he was about to sleep with, or if this was just getting some action while he was home from someone willing to sleep with him.
Puck continued to kiss down her chest before Quinn ran her fingernails through his short hair, trailing down his neck. "I don't think I can do this with you," she smiled as she felt his body freeze against hers.
Puck lifted his gaze to hers slowly, before frowning slightly and pulling back, "You don't?"
Quinn puckered her lips and arched her eyebrow at him. "I'm just not sure I have those kinds of feelings for you. It just wouldn't be right," she murmured, trying to deepen her voice so the imitation would be more obvious.
A slow smile crept up his face in recognition, "I lied."
His admission slightly stunned her, Quinn's heart fluttering a bit, "Really?"
"Oh, I definitely had those kinds of feeling for you," he smirked, "I figured you would have picked up on that from the hard evidence pressed up against you that night. I had all kinds of sexy feelings for you."
So this was just about a sexual release to him, Quinn realized, and with that last comment he made, that was apparently all it was about to him eight years ago too.
Before she could think more about how much that admission stung, Puck cupped her lace-clad breast, teasing her through the thin material. Quinn lost her entire train of thought, arching up into his touch as his other hand caressed her side.
In one quick motion, Quinn flipped Puck onto his back and straddled his hips, looking down into his gaze. His eyes were soft but looked hungry and Quinn felt another pang of lust in her lower abdomen. She slowly wound her arms behind her and flicked the clasp of her bra open, allowing for the skimpy material to fall down her arms onto his chest. She remembered doing the same thing eight years ago, but back then her fingers had been trembling and she'd been so nervous she felt like her heart was going to leap out of her chest. Now, it seemed almost natural to crave a man's touch, Puck's touch, and to offer him more despite the slight disappointment she felt a few seconds earlier at his response.
Puck grinned back up at her as he reached up and cupped her breast, teasing the nipple with his thumb before he sat up and wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his lips to her neck. He continued to trail kisses down her collarbone to her chest, finally reaching her breasts as he drew one of the hard nubs into his mouth. Quinn arched her back, a slight gasp escaping her lips as he pulled her back down to the bed with him.
She remembered how fascinated and amazed she had been with his body, watching it change over the years as he grew from a gangly young kid into a muscular and ruggedly handsome man. His chest had filled out even more, the muscles of his pecs and abdomen more pronounced as they faded into a sexy, chiseled "v" that disappeared below the waistband of his shorts. In high school, he had been muscular for their age but the military had definitely helped him fill out, his body sculpted, lean and hard, a body men would envy and any woman could truly appreciate. And she found herself just as desperate to touch and taste him now as she had been back then.
Quinn bent forward and pressed a kiss to his neck, trailing them down his chest while her fingernails teased down his sides, his hands roaming her back in return. What began as simple curiosity and a crazy spark between the two of them had now taken on a very intimate feeling as Quinn continued to explore his body. She flicked one of his nipples with her tongue, Puck groaning softly before murmuring her name. Another shiver skittered across her skin at the huskiness of his voice, her eyes lifting to meet his before he pulled her into another kiss.
They kissed for a long time, hands exploring and mouths tasting as they breathed each other in. Their frenzied state from moments earlier had taken a turn, their movements slow as they both relished the feeling of skin-to-skin contact again. His hands all over her body, his lips against hers. Right now, this didn't feel like it was just about sex anymore, it felt like it was about…trust. Comfort. Long-overdue needs and desires. It felt good to be held by him and wanted by him, Quinn sighing against his lips as they broke apart.
"Spend the night with me," he murmured, his tone less of a request and more of a demand.
Quinn smiled down at him, her heart fluttering again as she began to hope he felt something more for her than just a bedmate. He rarely stayed the night with any of the girls he was with in high school and they never stayed over at his house either, his preference was more of a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of relationship style. But he was asking her to stay. Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered how it felt when he held her until she cried herself to sleep when her dad left, the comfort and love she saw in his eyes making her fall for him in the first place.
She knew she shouldn't be letting herself feel like this. She knew she should be protecting her heart more than she was and not getting so emotionally involved, especially since she was the one to offer the no strings attached arrangement. But right now, his forehead against hers as he leaned up to kiss her softly again, she couldn't help it.
She smiled down at him and kissed him back as her hands trailed down his stomach to the button on his jeans. "What would your mom say if she saw me leave in the morning?" she asked, her voice light and playful as she released the snap.
Puck grinned back up at her and licked his lips, but something about the look in his eyes felt a bit unsettling, "She probably wouldn't care. More than likely, she'd just think we were having a little fun."
Quinn sat up and removed her hands from his body, resting them on her thighs as she stared at him in confusion, "You mean your mom wouldn't care that you and I were sleeping together? She wouldn't care that you were sleeping with one of her best friend's daughters?"
Puck's expression changed a bit as he stared back up at her, "Probably not. I am an adult and she's pretty cool about respecting that part of my life," he explained, "It's not like she hasn't run into a few girls leaving before. Hell, she'd probably be thrilled that I was sleeping with the neighbor girl instead of anyone else."
Quinn felt her stomach drop at his admission, the blow feeling like it knocked the wind out of her.
Neighbor girl. That's all she was to him.
The neighbor girl. A little fun for the week.
Not the girl he was best friends with growing up. Not one of his trusted confidants or even a person he respected enough to be a little bit more sensitive about this situation, especially given the way they left things the last time they were close like this. No, just a piece of ass to play with for the week until the wedding was over and he left once again.
She should have known. Why she thought things could be a little different this time, she would never know. And to even have the balls to suggest that his mom wouldn't care if she caught them since she had run into other girls leaving this very room made her feel sick. Quinn cringed before scrambling off of the bed, picking up her bra and fastening it around her back before grabbing her camisole.
"I think this was a mistake," she murmured before pulling the top over her head.
She searched the floor for her cardigan and her sandals, Puck's hand reaching out and grasping her arm.
"Come on, Q. Don't be mad. What's going on?" he replied, "I wasn't trying to–"
"No, I understand," Quinn cut him off as she shrugged out of his grasp and pulled the cardigan around her shoulders, "This thing between us is just sex to you. It's nothing more than getting your rocks off. I get it now, I do."
Puck's face scrunched in confusion, "But I thought this is what you wanted. You were the one who proposed it to me."
"Yeah, I wanted it to be you and me. Puck and Quinn. Two people who shared a past and were best friends for a long time, at least good enough friends to respect each other and treat each other as such."
"Wait, what?" Puck asked, standing from the bed.
"But I get it, Puck. I really do," she replied, her throat tight with emotion, "I'm just the neighbor girl to you. Just something fun to do while you're here before you have to leave again."
Puck's expression softened as he looked at her, his hand finding its way back to her arm, "Q, that's not–"
Quinn slid into her flip-flops before taking a few steps toward the door and away from his grasp, "I have to go."
"Come on, wait," he pleaded but Quinn couldn't bring herself to look back up at him just yet.
She headed out of his bedroom and toward the stairs, Puck following her every step.
"Well, if you won't stay and talk to me now, when will I see you again?" he asked as they descended the stairs.
"You're going to see me all week," she replied, "Unfortunately we're still here for another five days until the wedding is over."
"You know what I mean."
She stepped off of the last stair and walked the few paces to the door, her hand pausing on the handle, "I don't know. Look, I know this whole thing was my idea in the first place, but maybe it's not a good idea after all. Maybe we should just forget about all of this. It's just going to make things too awkward and complicated."
"I don't think I can forget," Puck murmured, his tone gentle but serious.
"Try Puck," Quinn replied, turned the doorknob before pausing once more; finally gaining the courage to look up at him again, "Try really hard."
Once inside the safety of her own bedroom, Quinn stripped out of her clothes and exchanged them with a comfortable pair of shorts and an old t-shirt before she looked down and realized the shirt she pulled on was one of Puck's old ones from high school.
She groaned and pulled it back over her head, tossing it into the chair in the corner and making a mental note to get rid of it and any other articles of his clothing in the morning. She pulled on a different shirt before pulling the covers back and curling into bed, snuggling into her pillows as she thought back on the night.
Her body was still tense from the moments before, all of the hurt, anger and humiliation she felt welling inside of her. But she refused to let herself cry over him, not this time. She should have known better. She offered him the same thing that all the other girls in the past had and he'd gladly accepted, so why was she hurt by the fact that treated and referred to her like one of them? She set herself up for that one and she knew it. This was her own fault.
She closed her eyes and tried to fall asleep, but after the events of that night, she didn't know why she was even surprised at the memory running through her head. She didn't have the energy to really fight it either, her mind drifting back to that embarrassing night she offered him her virginity.
The whole night had been a fun and enjoyable escape, Quinn flattered that Puck and Finn had gone through all the trouble to throw her a mini going away party for her. At their special place no less. She glanced around at their surroundings, the calm water of the lake, the perfect stretch of beach surrounded by lush forest creating the perfect ambiance. But the remnants of the log cabin not far off of the water's edge stuck out like a sore thumb, the collapsed ceiling and rotting logs making it a bit of an eyesore. She was actually shocked the property owners hadn't yet decided to knock it down and rebuild as the location was pretty pristine in her opinion, but part of her was glad they hadn't. It was their fort, their castle, their secret hide out, or their spy base when they were younger, the three of them spending hours upon hours playing in the surrounding woods before returning to the ruins, the area serving as such a prominent part of their lives growing up together.
After Finn had left, the rest of the night turned into Puck and Quinn time, something Quinn felt giddy just thinking about. It was hardly just the two of them together as Finn was almost always there with them, but for once, it was just the two of them. And be-still her heart, she thought this could be one of the best nights of her life. She'd had a major crush on him for years but always chose to push those feelings down and ignore them, rationalizing that he was one of her best friends and she wanted him in her life, fearing that if she told him how she felt, things between the two of them would become unbearably awkward. Their mothers were best friends and Puck's mom was like a second mom to her as well, so the thought of saying something to mess up that dynamic was enough to deter her from spilling her feelings toward him.
The two of them sat there and joked around, drinking beer and telling stories, reminiscing on their pasts together. When telling stories had run its course, they simply decided to ask each other questions, both internally wondering if they would be able to guess the answers. They started off easy, but as they progressed, things got a bit more serious.
Quinn took a sip of her beer and swallowed hard, wondering if she should even ask but the liquid courage in her system told her to simply go for it.
"Have you ever been in love," she asked, looking up at him as she waited for an answer.
Puck choked on his beer and sat up a little straighter, his eyes widening as he swallowed hard. That was all the answer Quinn needed. She just giggled and took another swig of her beer, "I take that as a no. Figures, you stud you."
He simply smiled back before responding, "You're so quick to judge, Ms. Fabray. So what about yourself?"
The smile that was on her face dropped off immediately, Quinn taking another drink as she stared into the fire. She couldn't tell him the truth. She wasn't ready to tell him she had been in love with him since she was fifteen. But she had to answer, so she decided to leave it vague.
"Maybe. I don't know."
Puck continued to stare at her for a moment, irritation flashing in his eyes before he looked down too. "Is it Sam? I thought you and fish lips broke up a while ago."
Quinn scrunched her nose as she thought about that relationship. Sam was very attractive and had a nice body but he wasn't what she was looking for, the dopey boy's nerdy interests and forced sense of humor really getting on Quinn's nerves toward the end.
"No, I thought I could love Sam but after while, we just weren't right together. It was good for popularity and he was a nice guy and all, but we were too different. He actually started to really annoy me by the end," she explained truthfully.
Puck burst out laughing and she couldn't help but laugh too, the entire Sam and her situation ridiculous from the start, "You laugh at my pain. That hurts a little."
"Yeah, because you're obviously so broken up about it," he teased before his expression turned serious, "So who is this guy you love?"
She swallowed hard again and shook her head. "I only said maybe," she replied quietly before changing the subject, excited to talk about something other than love so she could avoid slipping up and telling him everything.
They managed to avoid other serious topics for a while longer, the fire burning low before Quinn thought of another question she had been curious about for a while.
"Biggest regret," she asked, waiting for his reaction.
"Taking Lauren to the prom instead of someone else," Puck snorted, taking another drink of his beer, "She was an absolute train wreck."
She knew he was joking around, but she knew he was trying to deflect the question, the look in his eyes suggesting something deeper. So she just sat there and gave him a small, supportive smile.
"Be honest here, I've been honest with you the whole night."
She watched him swallow the rest of his beer before fiddling with the can, taking his time while he thought of an answer. Finally, after a brief pause, he answered.
"Not being able to protect my mom…from my dad," he replied, his voice strained as he kept his eyes focused on the fire, "I've, uh, I've seen the scars he left and now that I'm older, I understand what was really going on."
Her heart broke as she listened to him, Puck only having mentioned his dad once or twice while listening to her talk about her own father during her parents' divorce, but even then it was just to reiterate him being pissed about his dad's sudden departure. Quinn knew Puck's father had been abusive toward both him and his mom, but he had never really said anything about it until now.
He finally looked back up at her, the pain, hurt and anger in his eyes wrenching her heart. He clenched his teeth together before continuing, "And I swear to God, if that fucker ever shows back up in this town…let's just say I'll need a good lawyer."
"Puck, you know that what happened between them wasn't your fault, right? You couldn't control what he did. He was a jerk but you couldn't stop what he did any more than he could control himself," she replied softly, wanting him to know that it wasn't his fault, even though she could tell he blamed himself for what had happened to his mom and him, the guilt evident in his expression.
"You just asked me what my biggest regret was," Puck replied calmly, "You didn't say it had to be realistic."
She didn't know what else to say so she just gave him a soft smile as he cleared his throat and turned the tables on her, "What about you? Biggest regret?"
Quinn bit her lip and thought hard about her biggest regret, initially wanting to be honest with him just as he had been honest with her and just telling him about how she felt about him, but the more she thought about it, that really hadn't been her biggest regret up until that point. It was just her little secret, she supposed. She sighed heavily before staring into the embers.
"I regret never being spontaneous or doing something different than what other people expect from me," she answered truthfully, picking up a stick and poking the burning sticks, "All my life I've done what others have expected of me. My parents expected me to be perfect and I never really waivered outside of those lines. I never got to experience what it was like to just let my inhibitions go and do something different. I've never said a few things or done things that I wanted to because I fear rejection or worry that people are going to see me differently and not like what they see."
Quinn swallowed hard, her entire body slightly relieved to finally get all of that off of her chest. She had always worked hard to be perfect so the people around her would like her and be proud of her. She wanted her mom to be proud of her for her perfect GPA and extracirriculars, she wanted the rest of the high school student body to love her and accept her after all of the teasing she endured during middle school and the first year of high school, doing whatever it took for people to accept her, and if she was being really honest with herself, she worked extra hard to show her father she was perfect child he could be proud of. Maybe then he would come home and love her and her mom again. Maybe then he wouldn't have done what he did and left in the first place.
She had also kept her mouth shut on several occasions, fearing that what she had to say would come out as stupid and people would change their opinions of her, or worse, reject or leave her.
The more she thought about it, the more she thought about Puck and her relationship and how she was terrified of telling him how she felt. She didn't think her heart could handle his rejection or him leaving her. He had always been her rock, the one constant in her life next to Finn and for that she was grateful, but her secret one-sided love was really starting to weigh heavily on her shoulders, Quinn never daring to breathe a word of her feelings for him to anyone, but it was definitely taxing.
She sighed, thinking back on their times in high school, a humorless laugh escaping her throat as she thought about it, "You know I've never snuck out of my house once? The few times I 'snuck out' with you and Finn to go to parties my mom knew all about it. She would even critique my outfit choices too."
"That sounds like Judy," Puck agreed, his gaze intense as he looked into her eyes, "So, what is something that you wish you had said or done? What is something that you wanted to do but didn't because you feared being seen differently or you feared rejection?"
Quinn's heart stopped and her breathing hitched, a lump forming in her throat as she looked back down and closed her eyes for a few moments, trying to collect herself a bit before she decided he deserved the truth. He had been honest with her, so pride be damned, he deserved for her to be honest with him. She set the stick aside and looked back up at him, her fingers trembling as she clasped them in her lap.
"The truth?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper.
"Yeah," Puck nodded as he leaned in toward her, his presence imposing as he watched her every move.
She looked back down and licked her lips, taking a few moments to think about what she was going to say and how she should phrase everything, the admission she was about to make one of the greatest risks of her young life. Finally, she gathered the nerve and looked back up into his eyes.
"The truth," she said slowly, pausing briefly before biting her lip gently, "I'd want to kiss you. I'd want for you to kiss me."
Quinn didn't really know what to expect once she blurted it out, the optimist in her hoping for the best but the pessimistic part of her was attempting to prepare for heartbreak. The seconds passed silently, Puck's expression going from shocked to confused as he sat there in silence, staring at her. His gaze became unnerving, and Quinn was sure he was trying to figure out what to say to let her down easy. She quickly looked back down at the fire, shaking her head and swallowing the lump of emotion that had formed in her throat. She shut her eyes tightly for a brief second, hoping that would stem the tears that were threatening to spill for long enough to allow her to get out of there and avoid further embarrassment. Her cheeks felt hot and she was having trouble catching her breath, a deep ache settling into her chest.
"Just…just forget I said anything," she whispered after the silence had become too much, her voice trembling as she tried to think of something to say that would diffuse the tension, "It's late and we've been drinking and I… I don't…"
She couldn't even finish her thought, not quite knowing what to say next, her body wanting to get up and walk away to escape the unbearable silence and his heavy gaze she could feel was still locked on her.
But the very next moment, out of the corner of her eye, she saw him do something she wasn't quite expecting. Puck sat up a bit and scooted in next to her, running his hand up her arm and brushing a lock of her hair behind her ear. He cupped her cheek, his hands soft as he gently nudged her face up to look at him.
"I want to kiss you too, Quinn," he murmured before surprising her even more by leaning and capturing her lips in a gentle kiss.
His lips were soft against hers, his gentle and sweet gesture making Quinn's heart pound in her chest. He tasted like mint and a slight twinge of the beer he had been drinking, his lips moving with hers intoxicating as he deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue past her parted lips to massage hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him closer, Puck embracing her tightly as he pulled her into his body, Quinn practically straddling his legs as they kissed.
When they finally broke apart, Quinn could barely process any form of rational thought, her mind completely blank as she leaned her forehead against his.
"Wow," he sighed, causing her to smile in return, her sentiments exactly.
She watched him smile before he slowly moved back in to kiss her again, their lips colliding once again. Quinn felt him shift under her, Puck maneuvering them to lay her back on the sand and allowing him to be on top as they continued to kiss.
His body weight on top of her felt amazing as she had never experienced a sensation quite like it before, all of her past experiences never getting this physical. But at that moment, lying under him as he kissed his way down her neck, she didn't ever want him to stop. She gripped his back and urged him on, his kiss behind her earlobe causing her to moan as he continued to trail kisses down her chest, playing with the straps on her tank top as he moved lower.
Her heart hammered and her breathing became ragged as his lips neared her breasts, Puck glancing up at her, his eyes practically pleading for permission to keep going. She was powerless to refuse, smiling back down at him and running her fingers through his hair, a soft smile appearing on his face before he leaned back down and kissed the slope of her breast. His lips left a wake of fire across her skin as he continued to explore her with his mouth, Quinn arching up and moaning at the contact.
The further south he kissed, the more heated Quinn got, a low ache settling deep in her abdomen as her whole body reacted to his, arousal nipping at every nerve ending in her body. She had been dreaming about this, fantasizing about this moment with him for years and everything just felt so right.
Having made up her mind, Quinn pushed Puck away, the boy looking up at her in confusion as she sat back up and cupped his jaw.
"Come with me?" she asked quietly, holding her hand out to him as she stood.
Puck took her hand and kicked a wave of sand on top of the embers to extinguish the fire before following her lead. The two of them walked in near silence for the few minutes it took them to get back to their houses, Quinn looking back at him and smiling as she led him toward her house, the couple sneaking up the stairs before making their way into Quinn's bedroom
She heard the door click shut behind her and she spun around, Puck pulling her back to him and kissing her again. His hands were all over her body as he held her close, his fingertips ghosting along the bottom hem of her tank top. Quinn wanted so badly to touch his skin, to kiss that perfectly toned and tanned chest of his. She trailed her hands down to the bottom hem of his shirt and slowly began to lift it up over his head, freeing him from the material as it dropped to the floor before running her fingers down his muscular chest and abs to rest on the waistband of his shorts, her deft fingers slowly easing his belt open.
Puck pulled back slightly and looked her in the eye, his eyes searching hers as his hands came to rest on hers, effectively halting her from continuing to help him out of his pants. The look in his eyes suggested he wanted permission to continue but all Quinn knew was that she didn't want to stop.
She answered his silent question by finding the hem of her own shirt, gently lifting it up over her head and letting it fall to the floor behind her. His eyes went wide and a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth before she leaned into his chest and pulled him close, placing her lips against his in a heated kiss.
Gentle touches turned into confident caresses as clothes were shed. Quinn wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned back into him to give him a soft, chaste kiss, his bare skin against her own the most incredible sensation she had ever experienced. Slowly, Puck backed her up to the bed and eased her down into the sheets, their lips meeting again as he ran his hands up and down her body, Quinn moaning into his mouth as he caressed her most sensitive parts.
He gently eased his hand in between her legs, Quinn jolting at the new, unfamiliar, but not unwelcome sensation shooting through her body at his touch. His fingers continued to caress her in a way her own never had, her legs trembling as the pleasure began to build inside of her.
She looked up into his warm, chocolate eyes, her breath coming in short, labored pants as he continued to touch her and create the magical electricity flowing through her veins. His expression was soft and tender, the sheer gentleness of his gaze and his movements overwhelming her heart, filling her with love as she looked up at the face of her best friend; the man she had fallen hard for over two and a half years ago.
This was everything she had dreamed it to be since he first had crawled into her bed when she was fifteen. Her mom had always told her that sex was a pretty serious act and that she should wait until the right man came into her life and the time was right. Sex was sacred to her and Quinn didn't take it lightly at all, her last few boyfriends never making it past kissing and the occasional inadvertent grab here and there.
But right now, being with Puck just felt right, and deep down she knew she had been waiting all this time for him. Saving herself for him. Despite all of the girls he may have slept with over the years, he was special to her and she wanted to give herself to him.
She wanted this. She was ready for this. Ready for him.
She leaned up and kissed him gently, pouring every emotion she was feeling into that kiss, hoping he understood what she was feeling and what she wanted: for him to make love to her.
She pulled back and looked up into his eyes, searching his face, his expression soft and loving.
"Puck, I… I lo…" she choked and stuttered, the words she wanted to say on the tip of her tongue.
But now that she finally had him after wanting him for all that time, she didn't want to scare him off with her grand declaration of love. Not just yet, anyway.
"You what?" he asked in anticipation as he kissed her gently.
She wanted to say it, wanted to tell him she loved him and wanted him to know how much she cared for him, but the words got stuck in her throat, Quinn all of a sudden too nervous to let him know the truth.
Before she even thought of what she was saying, her response tumbled out of her mouth, the words surprising her as she couldn't explain where they came from.
"I don't want to go to college a virgin."
Puck smiled back up at her before he leaned down and kissed her lips, making his way down her jaw and neck until he stopped at her shoulder, nuzzling his nose in the crook of her neck before he stopped, his whole body frozen above her.
He pulled back after a few moments and tucked another strand of hair behind her ear, placing his forehead against hers briefly and placing a soft, chaste kiss on her lips.
"I can't do this with you, Quinn."
With those seven little words she felt her heart break, her blood running cold as her chest aching with his rejection. All she had ever dreamed about and waited for, saving herself for him for all these years came crashing down around her as she felt her throat tighten.
"You- you've been with all of those other girls but you won't be with me?" she asked quietly, pain seeping through her pores and her eyes searching his expression as he continued to evade her gaze.
"Quinn, it's not like that with us. You and I, we're too good of friends to ruin what we have by doing this," he replied, looking down at the sheets under them, "I uh – I just don't have those kinds of feelings for you. It just wouldn't be right."
Quinn felt her heart stop, his admission hitting her like a sledgehammer blow to the chest. How could he lead her on like that? How could he kiss her like that and touch her like that, like no man had ever touched her before, and all of a sudden decide he couldn't do it. That they were too good of friends to go through with it.
She felt sick to her stomach, the tears pricking the corners of her eyes as every emotion in her body threatened to revolt. But she didn't want him to see her break down. She refused to let him see her cry.
She looked away quickly and nodded, pushing him off of her and scooting to the other side of the bed before gathering the sheet around her bust, tucking it in tightly around herself.
"I think you should go," she whispered, her body fighting to keep her voice even.
"Quinn, I…I just…"
"I get it, ok? It's not a good idea," she murmured, looking away toward her window, a tear sliding down her cheek as she tried to wipe it away quickly before Puck saw.
She felt the bed sag a bit as Puck stood and pulled his clothes back on. Once finished, he leaned in and touched her arm, "Q, look at me?"
Quinn averted her gaze again and looked down at the stuffed lamb she had picked up, her eyes filling with the tears she could no longer fight before shaking her head, "Puck, please leave."
"Quinn, just give me a second," he pleaded but she couldn't deal with this right now. Everything was too raw.
"Puck, please just go," she begged, her voice growing ragged as the emotion overwhelmed her, "Please just go."
Quinn looked away and felt Puck's bodyweight leave the bed as he did what she asked, her door shutting quietly on the way out. She felt her body sag and collapse back down, sobs wracking her body as she tried to process what had just happened.
He didn't want her.
He would never want her.
She was just his friend, nothing more.
She could have sworn that she physically felt her heart shatter that day, a surge of hurt and pain, embarrassment and sadness wracking her body as she cried on into the night.
"I haven't seen you in ages,
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are.
You headed off to college at the end of that summer,
And we lost touch.
I guess I didn't realize even at that moment,
We lost so much.
I haven't seen you in ages,
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are.
For me, you'll always be eighteen and beautiful,
And dancing away with my heart.
A/N: I know this was a bit of a longer chapter for this particular story, but I figured I owed it to you all. So, now you know what happened that night from Quinn's perspective… sorry the flashback was a bit lengthy, but I feel both of their perspectives need to be explored :) Thanks again for reading and letting me know what you think!