Charlaine Harris owns almost everything. I own next to nothing.

This story takes place during the last little bit of Living Dead in Dallas, but instead of all the bloody madness that happens when the maenad pays a visit to the orgy in the woods, she finds Eric and Sookie fighting their very real attraction (well, at least one of them is fighting it) and decides to give them a little madness of their own. Sam and Bill stay out of the whole mess (at least during this chapter), and Andy has managed to track down the group of people he is suspicious of murdering Lafayette, like a real detective. And…action!

SeriousCrush has offered to edit yet another story of mine, to which I say thank you and pledge my undying love to her. She is about to have a baby though, so there will come a time very soon where I will have to go ahead without her for a while. When that time comes, I hope you'll all forgive me for the mistakes that are sure to be present!

The chapters for this story alternate between Sookie's point of view and Eric's. It is the first story I've ever written from his perspective, so please be gentle when you review. I will warn you now that I am going to make you wait for lemons. How long? That depends on how fast you review…


Madness

SPOV

I was just beginning to regain my breath.

The images I saw inside Jan's house moments before made me sick to my stomach. They were all in on the murder, all except Tara, which I whispered to Eric in a gush of words on the way outside, in an attempt to get the words out of my system before they made me physically ill. I was so grateful to be draped over Eric's wide shoulders that I didn't mind when he put me down on the hood of his red corvette and covered my mouth with his…at first. And then my brain turned on and I tried to push away from him.

"Eric, I told you I am not interested. I came here to find out who killed Lafayette, and now I know. It's time for us to go."

"I'm not ready to go," Eric stated firmly, rubbing his Lycra covered erection against my tightly encased sex.

"Bill…" I whined.

"Bill is not my concern."

"Well, he is my concern," I said, feeling my resolve melt under him.

He was about to kiss me again when a noise distracted us. Our faces turned at the same moment as we watched a naked woman appear out of the woods, her inky hair streaming around her, glinting in the moonlight. She was stunning and frightening, and although I had seen plenty of nudity only moments ago, she was like nothing I had ever seen. I stared openly, and as she approached, my skin started to crawl.

"You are a beautiful piece of dead meat," she said eyeing Eric's long body appreciatively. Eric gave her a cautious nod. "And you are not drunk," she observed.

"No ma'am."

"And you have not had the pleasures of the flesh this evening."

"Oh just give me time," I said.

She opened her mouth, tilted her head towards the sky and laughed like a woman possessed. I could feel the muscles in Eric's arms tense as she laughed. He made no move to leave me, and I felt grateful -yet again- for his presence. I zoned out for a moment thinking of all the times Eric had been in the right place at the right time, keeping me safe. Had Bill ever done that for me? I swept the corners of my mind trying to find some trace…and came up empty.

"You have nothing to do with those people," she stated as she gazed at the house. I shook my head, feeling my hair sweep across the hood of Eric's car. "There is something special about you."

"Me?" Eric asked. I rolled my eyes. "Why do you say that Callisto?"

I did a double take. "Wait, you know her?"

"Not exactly," Eric said.

"Then how…"

"Actually," Callisto said, interrupting our banter with her eerily calm voice, "there is something special about both of you that I love. The desire. Lust. Longing. Hunger."

I put my hands up in a defensive position trying to push Eric off of me. It didn't work. "Look, Miss Callisto, I don't want anything to do with him," I grunted, trying to push against Eric again.

A smile spread across her face. "How interesting. I think that I can prove that you do."

Eric looked down at me, and then we both looked at her. I narrowed my eyes, watching her mouth move in a silent chant. I tried to listen to her, but her thoughts were charged like electricity, snapping me back into myself immediately. The world spun around me. The last thing I remembered was the dead weight of Eric's body falling on top of me.

A gruff voice from nearby brought me back to consciousness. "I said, 'are you two alright?'"

I shook my head, trying to clear the haze that had settled around me, and when I spoke, my voice was deep and rough. "Um, yeah, I guess so. What…" I stopped midsentence, surprised by my voice. I was still unable to focus my eyes, something was definitely wrong.

Andy nudged my shoulder with something cold and hard. "Sookie are you alright?"

"I'm not sure," I answered touching my pink tank top. I could have sworn I had chosen a white one.

"I'm not talking to you deader. I'm talking to Sookie," Andy said, shoving me harder.

I felt my body fill with rage. I reached out, knocking the shotgun out of Andy's hands. While he tried to retrieve it as it fell through the air, I snatched it midair and snapped it in half. Andy stared at me with his mouth gaping open and started to back away. Before too much longer, he disappeared inside the house.

"Oh my god…" I said as I looked down at my hands more clearly. I dropped the fragments of metal and turned back to the hood of Eric's car, where I came face to face with…myself.

"What the fuck?" my body said.

"I…how did I…" My mind spun.

"What the fuck are you doing in my body?"

I looked into my eyes again and said "I could say the same for you! What happened?"

"I'm going to kill her. I'm going to fucking kill that maenad. I'm going to rip her heart out and eat it while she watches me." I reeled as I heard such foul language come out of my mouth.

"Watch your mouth, mister," I said before I could stop myself. "I mean, missy."

"I'll tell you what happened. Callisto decided to share the madness with us, which apparently switched our bodies," Eric said. A naughty look took up residence on my face and then he used my hands to reach inside my shirt. "Mm, I've been wanting to do that all night."

"Eric! Stop it!" I whined, trying to pull them out. I felt embarrassed even though I couldn't feel what he was doing.

"Make me," Eric said with my voice. Before I knew what was happening, he was using my hands to rub against the bulge in his pants.

"Stop it. I'm serious," I shrieked as I tried to smack away my talented fingers.

"Afraid I'll turn you on? It's not so easy to hide when you have one of those…" Eric said, touching my foreign body, which was beginning to betray me.

Thankfully, at that moment, a van pulled down the driveway and I jumped away from him. Andy came out of the house with a string of handcuffed naked people behind him. The van was painted white with 'Bon Temps Police' painted down the side in bold letters.

Andy grumbled, "About fuckin' time ya'll got here! I had to cuff these pervs on my own!"

The two officers on duty that night stared openly at the men and women parading in front of them and didn't even try to respond to Andy's gruffness. Andy shoved past them pushing Mike into the back of the van. "If you two dipshits aren't going to help me load the perps, then at least go get his car ready to be towed," Andy said pointing to Mike. "I'm pretty sure that's blood in the trunk, and I'll bet a million dollars that it belonged to that dead queer."

I puffed out my chest and stormed over to him, "That 'queer' happened to be my friend!" I was on the verge of tears until I saw the fear in his eyes. I almost apologized when I realized that I looked like Eric, and had probably scared the shit out of him, but I didn't.

Eggs, in a drunken stupor, started confessing to the crime, including the names of everyone that had been present, which was everyone in the back of the van…except Tara, which I already knew.

After Andy had the van loaded he looked at my Sookie body and asked, "Should I arrest you too?"

Eric spoke up (with my voice, of course), "Are you fucking kidding me? She…he brought me here tonight so that we could figure out who killed him. By the way, he's telling the truth." Eric tapped the side of my head with my finger, which was enough to convince Andy to trust me.

"Well, then, uh, I guess you can go," Andy said as he stared a little too long at the steel blue bra peeking out of my white tank top. "So you came together?" Eric and I nodded at the same time. "I don't need to warn you against going back inside, do I? It's a crime scene."

I shook his head. "I need to get home."

Satisfied with my answer and giving off another wave of fear, Andy slammed the door to the van shut. "Good, then I suggest you both go home. A tow truck will be here any minute to get that car down to the impound lot."

"I'm driving!" Eric said, as he opened the driver side and slid the seat forward so my short legs could reach the pedals. I walked clumsily to the passenger side and attempted to wedge his lanky body inside the tiny space.

"How do you manage to get this massive body inside this ridiculously small car?"

Eric winked at me and said, "Years of practice. Don't get too cozy in there, this is temporary!"

I huffed, "You think I want to be in your body?"

He managed to contort my face into a lascivious leer. "I've been wanting to be in your body for months now…this just wasn't what I had in mind."

"Where is Callisto now? Can we just call her up and find out how to sort this out?"

Eric snorted. "I doubt it! Maenads aren't exactly known for being reliable or trustworthy, so even if we did find her, it would be highly unlikely that she would tell us how to reverse her spell."

"More like a curse…" I said, looking down into his lap feeling uncomfortable all over again. I also felt something else; something that began to control his body. "Eric…I feel weird." His fangs descended, and I tried to get them to go away, but I couldn't.

He smiled and turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the driveway, flipping rocks against the police van and Andy, who was swearing and choking in the dust of the corvette. Eric glanced at me, not keeping my eyes on the road as much as I would have liked, and then he began to laugh. "Welcome to my world. How do you like it?"

"What is it?" I asked in a panic.

"Hunger. You…this," he said squeezing my breasts again, "smells so fucking good, it's all I can do to not devour you every time you're near me." He continued to laugh, until tears rolled down my cheeks.

I crossed his arms over his chest, surprised when they hit the window and bumped into my real body. How in the hell was I supposed to control a body this big? When our skin touched, I felt a ripple of pleasure wash over me. "You're so hot." Another wave of hunger hit me.

"Yes, I am!" Eric said waggling my perfectly shaped eyebrows. By this time, we were on the highway, and without a need to shift gears, Eric took the opportunity to explore the heat inside my very tiny shorts. "Oh yes. Very hot. And wet."

"Eric do I need to remind you that you are in a mortal body? My mortal body?" I gave him a stern look reminding him to pay attention to the road.

"You're right, I have plenty of time to explore your natural bounty." He winked at me, which only made me gape at him.

"So what do we do now?"

"I want to go home and have my wicked way with myself."

"Real mature Eric…and then what? You're content to live in my body, work my job, deal with my life…because I'm sure as hell not content to be stuck in this!" I poked his legs.

Eric's eyes danced. "You're right. We really do need to figure out what to do, but there's not much time left in the night, so it will have to be a topic we discuss some other time."

"Where are you taking us?"

"Back to my house," he said without thinking.

"No way. I have to work tomorrow. I mean you have to work tomorrow." Eric just stared at me. "The afternoon shift. At Merlotte's."

"I know where you work," he said exasperated. "There's no way in hell I am going to lower myself to serve drinks and food all day."

"Well you're going to have to. I can't afford to lose my job over this, and Sam is already short-staffed right now, so I can't not show up!"

"I don't owe that shifter anything!" Eric snapped.

"Well I do, and besides, he may know something about the maenad. I remember him saying something about meeting her in the woods…in a friendly way. Besides, there is plenty I could do with this body that you would rather die before witnessing," I threatened.

"Perfect." Eric did not seem thrilled. "What about my body? Where are you supposed to stay during the day while I'm working your shitty job?" While he talked, he turned around on the highway, heading back towards Bon Temps.

"Bill built a hidey hole in my old bedroom. I could try and squeeze this monstrosity into it."

Eric raised an eyebrow. "Bill has been staying at your house?"

"He's stayed over a few times. But I never know when he's going to stop by, or how long he's going to stay." I sighed.

"Ol' Bill's not doing it for you, huh?"

I put his hand on his chest and looked at him with disgust. "You assume that because he we don't see each other often that he's not satisfying me sexually?"

"I never said that. But you just did." Eric laughed and I turned away from him as much as I could in the small space. "It's okay, I'm sure I have a lot more to offer." Eric squeezed his dick through the pink and aqua Lycra, arousing me involuntarily.

I cleared his throat and pushed my hand away. I was struggling to control his desire to reciprocate. "So…are you going to tell Pam?"

"Shit. I hadn't thought of that. Here call her." He picked up his phone and handed it to me. I just stared at his phone, sitting in his very large hand. "Dial the number and push the talk button. I would do it, but you might throw another tantrum."

"I don't know her number."

He rolled my eyes and told me her number very slowly, treating me like I was an idiot. Pam answered after the fourth ring.

"Hi Pam, Eric wants to talk to you," I said, fumbling with the tiny phone and dropping it into my waiting hands.

"Pam," Eric started. "Will you shut up and let me explain?" He paused and listened to her confused questions. "That's what I'm trying to explain. Callisto switched our bodies. So now I look like Sookie, and she looks like me." Eric laughed loudly. "I'm sure you would like that Pam, but I'm staying at her house tonight and working her shitty job tomorrow. We will be at Fangtasia tomorrow night." He snapped the phone shut and tucked it back into the console that separated us.

I swallowed hard and said, "What did Pam say?"

"That she wanted me to pay her a visit tonight…" Eric trailed off, letting his words sink in, and then he elaborated, "You know…so she could fuck you."

I would have blushed if I could have. The thought of him using my body to have sex with someone was more than I could handle. "Don't even think about taking my body out for a night on the town…you have no right!" Eric only laughed. This was going to be very difficult, to say the least.


Who's up for reading about Eric discovering Sookie's natural bounty? Or…perhaps you'd like to read about Sookie exploring her new body…I know I would be tempted.

In an attempt to clean up all my FF stories, I have gone through them, and taken out anything with MA content (which is forbidden on FF...oops, my bad!). As you read this story, you will find sections marked like this ***(this has been edited)*** I was so sad to cut chunks out of my story, but it's better than being reported to the FF police for inappropriate content and have my account deleted, right? Please visit my blog for the full, uncut story at MySecretOFanFiction . wordpress . com