*In the Catalyst*
"Shepard, you have three choices, whatever shall you choose?" said the God Child.
"Hmmm, well all these options are really shitty. I don't want to be half-robotic, I don't want to enslave the Reapers, and I don't want to blow them all up. Hmmm, this is tough."
"Well," said the God Child, "There is…one other option. I've never told anybody this before…but…"
"What is it?" said Shepard, truly intrigued, "It's gotta be better than the choices you already showed me."
"No," said the God Child to himself, "It'll never work. The consequences would be disastrous."
"TELL ME YOU LITTLE SHIT!" blurted Shepard.
"All right, all right," said the God Child, shaking his head, "If you want, you could also kill me. If you do so, the Mass Relays will stay intact, the Reapers will leave this galaxy and find another one to terrorize, and you will survive."
"Sounds awesome. All right then, say goodbye kid," said Shepard, aiming his pistol at the God Child.
"WAIT!" cried the God Child, "If you kill me, there will be one horrible… HORRIBLE consequence."
"What is it?" said Shepard, lowering his gun.
"Everyone in this galaxy will have their genders swapped; guys will become girls, and vice versa."
"What…the…fuck? What kind of sense does that make?"
"It makes more sense than the last three choices I presented you."
"Oh yeah, that's true," said Shepard, thinking about all his options now, "Well…I guess I'll kill you and see what happens."
"NO WAIT -"
BAM BAM BAM! Shepard shot the God Child in the chest three times. The kid fell to the ground and disappeared into thin air.
"Hmm," said Shepard, holstering his gun, "Guess that solved everything."
Shepard then took the elevator down a floor to get Anderson. As the lift slowly traveled downwards, Shepard felt an itch in his crotch. Naturally, he tried scratching the itch, but he soon realized…
"Huh, something does feel right down there…Oh no," said Shepard, realizing what was happening, "Oh no no no."
Shepard's muscles toned down. The hairs on his arms, legs, chest, and face all receded back into his skin, leaving behind incredibly smooth skin. The hair on his head extended down to the middle of his back. His jawbone became more rounded, his lips became more plump, his neck thinned out, and he shrunk about 4 inches in height. Finally, he sprouted out two perfectly round breasts from his chest. They were huge, and the nipples were nice and perky. The breasts broke through Shepard's suit, and a breeze gently flew past the stiff nipples.
Shepard then took off his pants and looked down. He no longer had a huge veiny penis, but instead had a small slit where his testicles used to be. He had a perfectly pink vagina.
"Fuck fuck fuck!" cried Shepard in a womanly tone. He no longer had a gruff voice, but instead had a melodic, smooth-sounding pitch emerge from his mouth whenever he spoke.
"Sh-Shepard?" said Anderson, clutching his stomach, "No, who are you?"
"It's me, Anderson: Shepard."
"Shepard? What the hell happened?"
"Speak for yourself."
Just then, Anderson suddenly transformed into a woman. In the process, all of her wounds healed.
"What the hell did you do, Shepard?" said Anderson, feeling her newfound goods.
"I-I don't know what I did, but I saved the galaxy," said Shepard, trying to shove her breasts back into her suit.
"Put those away!" yelled Anderson, pointing at Shepard's breasts.
"I'm trying!" retorted Shepard, zipping her suit over her huge jugs.
"Dear God," said Anderson, standing from the ground, "What are we going to do?"
"There's nothing we can do," said Shepard, examining her arms, "Look how smooth these arms are…"
"Do you think this… sex change… happened to everyone?"
"I think so," said Shepard, "But let's get down and find out for sure."
The two women emerged from the Catalyst and saw an army of women on the battlefield. They were all feeling up each others breasts.
"Holy shit," said Anderson, "Look what happened."
The two women strutted their way over to the Normandy, where they found Joker waiting outside.
"Joker, is that you?" said Shepard, squinting her eyes.
"Commander? What the hell did you do?" said Joker, trying to fold her arms, but her breasts were getting in the way.
"I saved the galaxy, but -"
"You know what, explain it to the crew," said Joker, walking inside the Normandy.
"I'll catch up with you later, Shepard, I got to see how Hackett looks as a woman," said Anderson, taking off.
Shepard slowly entered her ship and closed the door behind her. She entered the decontamination room and saw two women sitting down, fondling their breasts.
"Uh oh," said Shepard to herself, biting her lip, "This is not going to end up pretty."
When she entered the next room, she saw the entire crew standing there, staring into Shepard's eyes.
"Heeeeeeeey everybody," said Shepard in a gleeful tone, "I can explain."
"What…the…FUCK!" roared Wrex, who now had two enormous, meteor-sized breasts sticking out of her chest.
"Yeah, what the fuck Shepard?" said Tali, standing with a flat chest.
"Did you stop the Reapers, Shepard?" asked Liara, who's sex did not change because Asari don't have a gender.
"I did, but…this happened as a result," said Shepard, putting her hand on her hip.
"This is…intriguing," said Mordin, now with luscious, golden-brown hair hanging from her head. She also had a nice, large ass. "Must research exactly what occurred."
"Dude," said Vega, who now was as thin as a twig, "Do you know how long I worked on my muscles? I, like, totally worked on them for the past FIFTEEN YEARS! Ugh, you suck, muchacho."
EDI then walked into the scene, now with a male figure.
"Shepard, did you kill the God Child?" asked EDI in the sexiest, manliest voice in the universe. It was soothing, and yet it was incredibly deep.
"Yes," said Shepard, whipping her hair back, "But it was the only choice I had."
"Well," said Garrus, admiring her new body, "If you'll all excuse me, I have some…calibrating to do with these new…..okay, bye!" Garrus then ran off to her room.
"Shepard," said Kaidan, who somehow avoided turning into a woman, "Why didn't I turn into a woman?"
"Hmm?" said Shepard, examining Kaidan's body, "Wow, I have no idea. That's creepy."
"It's creepy how I'm still a guy?"
"No…" said Shepard, licking her lips, "You just look…sexier."
Kaidan then raised his eyebrows and said, "Uh…I'm going to go to the bathroom now. I'll see ya later Shepard."
Shepard stared at Kaidan's ass as he walked away. She was mesmerized by his manly figure.
"Yo, dickless bitch!" yelled Miranda, "I had the perfect female body, and now I got a dick where it don't belong! You better fix this you little shit!"
"Woah," said Shepard, backing away from Miranda, "I'm sorry, but this is the consequence we have to suffer for saving the wor-"
"BULLSHIT!" yelled Miranda, slinging an Overload and Shepard, ripping through his shields. He ran up to Shepard and grabbed her by the throat, lifting her into the sky.
"You FUCKING fix this right now, or I'll kill you!"
Just then, Kaidan ran into the room and shot Miranda in the skull. Miranda dropped Shepard and fell to the ground, bleeding copious amounts of viscous blood from her forehead.
"Kaidan," said Shepard, with a smile, "You saved me!"
"I-I gotta go," said Kaidan, running off again.
Shepard blushed and felt goosebumps take over her body. She imagined herself having sex with Kaidan. He was thrusting into her, and stroking her soft, generous breasts. It was almost enough to make Shepard orgasm just thinking about it.
"Yo, are you dreaming?" said Tali, kicking Shepard while she was down, "Get up, you pussy."
Shepard stood up and put her hand on her hip again. It just felt natural to put it there, since her enormous breasts inhibited her ability to cross her arms.
"Look at what you did to me, Shepard," said Vega, pulling down her pants and underwear, "My massive dick is all gone! What the fuck is this?" said Vega, pointing at her vagina, "Are you fucking serious?"
"Yeah, well, we're stuck like this now," said Shepard, trying to ease everyone's anger, "But we will find a solution to this problem, don't worry."
"I'd rather have the Reapers blow my mother fucking head off than turn into a little BITCH!" screamed Wrex, charging at Shepard. However, Wrex did not have the bulky frame she had as a man, so all she did was gently land in Shepard's breasts.
"Haha!" laughed Shepard, as Wrex lifted her head off her breasts, "I mean, calm down Wrex."
"I'm going to kill you in your sleep, bitch," said Wrex, backing away from Shepard.
"Fuck off, Wrex," said Tali, shooting Wrex in the face. Wrex's body fell to the ground and grew cold.
"Woah!" screamed Shepard, startled by the gunshot, "Stop killing each other, guys!"
"Don't call us 'guys', Shepard," said Joker, taking a seat, "Some of us aren't 'guys' anymore."
"Unfortunately, she's right," said Hackett, entering the Normandy with Anderson, "Shepard, I thank you for the saving the galaxy, but… what the fuck."
"Hackett?" said Shepard, cupping her chin with her hand, "Hah, well at least you look 30 years younger as a woman."
"Now's not the time for joking, Shepard," said Hacket, "Do you know how hard it is to walk with these fucking bags bumping around with each step I take?"
"I know, I'm a woman too now."
"Well, that's neither here nor there. You may have saved the galaxy, but now you need to save us from a fate that's far worse."
"Come on, Admiral, being a woman is not as bad as dying from the Reapers."
"Shepard, are you telling me that you prefer being a little bitch?" said Hackett, crossing her arms. However, she accidentally pushed her breasts up too high, causing them to spill out of her suit.
"Ugh," said Hackett, stuffing her breasts back into her uniform, "You see the shit I have to put up with? That's the third time I've done that so far."
"Try putting your hand on your hip," said Shepard, putting her hand on her hip, "It feels much better."
"God dammit, Shepard!" interrupted Anderson, "What exactly happened up there?"
"Well…I had four choices: enslave the Reapers, kill the Reapers, have everyone turn into cyborgs, or send the Reapers off into another galaxy."
"And…" said Anderson, urging Shepard to continue, "Why did this happen to us?"
"Well, I chose the option to send the Reapers away, but, in doing so, everyone's sex flipped."
"Did you know that this would happen?" said Hackett, trying to find a spot on her hip to place her hand.
"…Yes, but I can explain."
"You MOTHER FUCKER!" yelled Joker, tackling Shepard to the ground, "Why did you choose the option that got rid of our dicks!
"It seemed like the best option at the time…well, better than the other three shitty choices. Plus, this was the only way to stop the Mass Relays from exploding. If I chose any other choice, everyone would be stuck in our Solar System."
"That is such horse shit!" cried Joker, punching Shepard in the tits and over.
"Get off me you slut!" screamed Shepard, throwing Joker off her body.
"Ahhh! You broke my nail you whore!" cried Joker, tackling Shepard again.
Kaiden then ran back into the scene and shot Joker to death. Joker rolled off Shepard's body, freeing Shepard.
"Alenko," said Hackett, crossing his arms and causing his tits to spill out again, "Oh God dammit!"
"Alenko, why aren't you a woman?" said Anderson.
"I don't know, sir," said Kaidan, saluting Anderson and Hackett, "I'm quite astounded myself."
"Kaidan, you saved me again," said Shepard, with tears rolling down her face, "My hero!"
"Shepard, I'm just going to say it - I love you. I always loved you, even when you were a man, but now you're a woman, and I love you even more," said Kaidan, dropping his pistol to the ground, "I love you so much."
"Oh, Alenko," said Shepard, wiping the tears away from her face, "I love you too!"
"Ah, what the fuck man?" said Cortez, walking towards Shepard, "I loved you before you were a woman and even told you, but you just turned me away, saying that you weren't gay! What the fuck!"
"Sorry, Cortez," said Shepard, looking at Cortez's breasts, "But I'm not a lesbian, so…not interested."
"But Shepard," said Liara, with tears dripping down her cheeks, "I thought you loved me."
"Liara, honey, that was when I was a guy. Now, it would just feel awkward if I had sex with you. I mean, wouldn't it feel weird if our breasts rubbed against each other?"
"Well," said Kaidan, hugging Shepard, "We could always have a threesome."
Liara and Shepard both smiled.
"That sounds like a good idea, baby," said Shepard, leaning in to kiss Alenko's soft, pink lips. She then walked over to Liara to kiss her as well.
"Hey, Shepard," said Hackett, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"
"Hmm?" said Shepard, turning around to face Hackett.
"Aren't you going to fuck me too?"
"Hah, well, I guess we could have a foursome."
"AHEM!" coughed Anderson, "What about me?"
"Fivesome?" said Shepard, raising one eyebrow.
"And us?" said Tali, Mordin, Vega, and EDI in unison.
"Fuck it, let's just have an orgy."
"YAY!" everyone said together.
Everyone then have sex on the Normandy until dawn arrived.
"Huh, I guess this isn't all that bad," said Hacket, getting up from Shepard's bed, "I could get used to these titties."
"Yeah," said Tali, "I don't mind this penis at all. It's easier to piss, plus getting a boner is oddly satisfying."
"See," said Shepard, winking an eye and Alenko, "I told you all that everything would turn out just fine."
Shepard and Kaidan then passionately made out on the bed, exchanging saliva, breast milk, and semen.
"C'mon, everyone," said Tali, hiding his massive erection, "Let's leave these lovebirds alone for now."
Everyone then learned to accept their new bodies and move on with life. Until one day…
*One year later*
"Shepard!" cried The Illusive Woman, "I'm back!"
"The Illusive Man! I mean, The Illusive Woman?" said Shepard, confused on what to call her, "What are you doing here? And why are you alive?"
"You never killed me. I was faking it. But now, I kinda wish you did kill me, because these breasts are such a pain to lug around everywhere. I'm getting these throbbing backaches cuz of them."
"Oh, I'm sorry," said Shepard, pecking Kaidan's lips, "So, what are you doing here?"
"I got your invite for your wedding."
"Oh yeah, I forgot about those invites," said Shepard, "Hey, I didn't even introduce you to our baby. Kaidan, go get her."
Kaidan left and brought back a baby girl, wearing pink footie pajamas.
"This is Claudia, our baby girl. I gave birth to her three months ago," said Shepard, exposing her breast to breastfeed her baby.
"Oh, she's soooooooooo cute, Shepard," said The Illusive Woman, "She looks just like you!"
"I know, right?"
The two ladies chatted away, while Kaidan flicked on the TV to watch the news. Looks like everything turned out fine for everyone. Shepard and Kaidan got married the next day, Garrus and Tali got married three months later, and Mordin took EDI to a planet in another galaxy for their honeymoon. Unfortunately, the galaxy they went to was being attacked by the Reapers, so they both died.