I am not Stephanie Meyer. I am sure you already know that.
You hear those crickets . . . yeah that is the absences of my beta for this shot . . . all errors are mine.
Jacob: Thanks Chewie! That was awesome but that isn't the only time there is a need.
Chewie: Your welcome, Jacob. I enjoyed writing it! What do you mean?
Jacob: Some times it's Edward that is in need . . . for different reasons, and he needs things in a different way.
Chewie: If you want to share with me Jacob I will be happy to share your story with the world.
Jacob: Great! Okay so . . . .
What He Needs Too
Two words: MAN CAVE
It was my escape from everything while still being near.
I hadn't had a Saturday off in over a year and it felt good to sit on my cool leather jumbo recliner and stare absent mindlessly at the large LCD flat screen television. It was the only room I insisted on when Edward and I bought the house that was far too big for just the two of us. He declared we need a five bedroom house for when any of our family came to visit but one was our room, one became his office and the third . . . well that was my glorious man cave.
The room was simple compared to what Edward was known for doing. Inside were two dark brown movie theaters recliners facing a large flat screen television. On the far wall was a matching dark brown leather coach. Between each seat was a table. Behind the recliners was a black mini fridge I kept stock with all the pleasure of man hood: Deli meat, bread, mayo and beer. It was my haven.
I sat reclining in the chair sipping on a cold beer as I switched between every sports channel known to satellite TV. As far as I was concern there were no cars to wash or fix, no household work to be done, and no place I needed to be. Nothing was going to pull me out of that room.
Until I received a call from Edward.
I broke through the double door of the emergency room. The loud tap as it bounced off the holding wall garnered the look of everyone in the room. I ran to the stunned nurse sitting at the counter. The look on her eye seemed to be fear and I am sure I was the reason why. My face burned from the tears on the drive to the hospital I could only imagine how wild I looked; my hair air blow by my motorcycle ride, eyes red and short of breath. I stopped to take a breath and gather myself before I address the shaken small women in front of me.
"The . . . Masens . . . they were," I tried to say but the tears only came flooding again and the air was too hard to pull into my lungs
"Oh, yes sir. Steven," the nurse called to the man standing to the side talking to another nurse, "please escort this gentleman to . . . the critical care wing," she said not taking her eyes from me.
At the sound of critical care my heart sank again. I stumbled behind the slender man in the blue scrubs but I didn't have to for long. My foot moved on their own at the sounds of the cry that could end me. I ran past my escort and through another pair of glass double doors. I saw Edward down on his knees, leaning into the teal plastic chairs of the waiting room crying uncontrollably alone as two male nurses stood nearby watching him.
"Babe," I whispered as I slid across the carpet, immediately falling to my knees beside him.
I rolled him from his shaking position and into my arms.
"I'm here babe. I am right here," I repeated over and over as I drown myself in his hair.
I wanted to pull every drop of hurt and pain he was feeling from him. I would carry it all for him if I could.
"I was . . . I was supposed to see them, Jacob," Edward screamed and sob. "They were fine . . . I shouldn't have . . . why . . . I can't," Edward continued to cry.
I knew he had plans to have lunch with them. He was giving me the afternoon to myself, my man cave time.
"Shh, it's okay, Edward, I am here. Let it out babe."
His cries continued to shake both of our bodies, no matter how hard I could squeeze him. I raked my hands through his hair pressing my lips to his temple. He was hot in my arms, heat rolling off his body in waves from the increased blood pressure and onslaught of emotions. The heat then flew out of my arms at the same time I heard a voice cry out for my wounded heart.
"Alice," Edward responded at the same time his body collided with his younger sister. The small woman was completely engulfed in Edward's much larger frame.
I lifted myself from the hard floor from which Edward and I sat; my legs and back popping in the process. I nodded my head at the body guards that stood by letting them know they could leave. I walked to the sobbing siblings rubbing them both on their back as they cried together.
"Come on," I escorted the two to the chair.
Alice climbed into Edward's side as the two took up the space of the chair. There was nowhere for me to sit. All I wanted to do was comfort Edward but his sister needed him more. I heard the door swing open again and watched as Jasper walked in. Alice's husband was noticeably shaken but he walked with his head up and though his eyes were blood shot red I knew he was holding it all together for his wife. We shared no words as he walked over and slapped me on my back. I nodded my head at his presence. Jasper and I took our respective spots on each side of the couch that held our breaking hearts and watched as they held each other. There was nothing more we could do as the parents of our love ones fought for their lives.
It wasn't long before a young doctor with blond hair and hazel eyes came walking into the waiting area looking as if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulder. My instincts flared. Maybe it was the way he eyed me and Jasper before looking to the sibling whispering to each other, but I knew that the news was far from good. Jasper must have had the same vibe as I did running down my spine as we both pushed off the wall from which we rested to guard over our significant others.
"My name is Dr. Carlisle Cullen. I am so sorry to have to tell you . . ."
White noise filled my ears as to all else that he had to say. The main point I got: Edward had just lost both of his parents because some prick was already drunk and driving on a Saturday afternoon. Alice flew into Jasper's arms and I took the spot beside Edward, scoping him into my arms and placing him on my lap.
"If it is any consolation it is apparent that they did not feel any pain."
It wasn't a consolation at all.
Edward looked stunning in his black suit and tie. And I told him such as I held him from behind. I knew the morning would be hard on him and insisted we got up early to dress. We had to stop several times to give Edward the opportunity to collect himself. I still hadn't figured out how to take the pain of the event from him but I wasn't done working on it.
The funeral seemed to last for a lifetime but hard times normally feel that way. The double ceremony for my parent-in-laws was full with people; love ones from Chicago and Washington filling the church and graveyard. Edward, Alice, Jasper and I, stood front and center during the service, burial, and family dinner, which we held at the Masen home. I stayed by Edward's side when it all came to be too much for him and gave him his space when I could see it in his eyes that he wanted to be alone. There were hours where the only person Edward wanted was Alice, and Jasper and I were more than willing to give them their time to grieve.
The crowd began to thin until only the four of us remained. We sat quietly, looking around the living room as if the place was now foreign. The hard times were still ahead of us as Edward and Alice had the unfortunate job of closing down the material side of their parent's lives. Jasper and I would be there to help them every step of the way and though Edward Sr., and Elizabeth loved us both as if we were their own children our pain was a mere eclipse of what the love of our lives had to endure. Jasper suggested we all stay the night in their child hood home, no one really in the condition to drive, but Edward said he couldn't handle it and Alice agreed.
The hour was late as I held Edward's hand walking him into our home. He had been so quiet throughout the day I didn't bother asking what he wanted or needed. I just watched him, my heart and soul knowing what its better half desired.
I escorted Edward to our room. I undid Edward's ties and unbuttoned his shirt, removing it from his body. I moved to lay the article across the chair that sat in the corner but before I could move to far I felt Edward take me by the hand. I turned back to face my weak heart, looking into his sad eyes for what he needed. I pressed my lips to his forehead and felt his hand pull on my still tucked shirt before moving his lips to meet mines. Edward's hand worked their way up my shirt undoing its button as he went.
"Edward," I whispered.
"I need you Jacob. Please," he needlessly asked.
I responded to Edward's plea with a soft kiss to his lips. Just tasting his flesh, increasing the movement of our lips with each peck. My arms wrapped around him pulling him as close to my body as I could manage. We awkwardly removed the others clothes as Edward never ventured away from my lips but when we were skin to skin, nothing was holding us back from the other. I could feel him calm in my arms. We stood beside our bed holding and hugging as I whispered in his ear how I love him.
"Tighter," Edward requested. "I need you to hold me tighter."
I squeezed the man in my arms lifting him off of his feet. Edward wrapped his arms around my neck, clinging to me for dear life and burning his face in between my chin and neck. I could feel his body shake though no sobs left his body. I pulled back the sheets of our bed, crawling to the middle, sure to never let him go. I laid him on his side, so that I could hide my heart in my chest and away from all the pain. Edward only cried harder and clung to me tighter.
"You are so strong, Edward," I reminded him.
Our lips found each other's again but the urgency was replaced with a need for passion , not dominance. Our bodies rubbed and slid across each other's. Our rushed breathing the only sound between us. Edward rolled onto his back pulling me with him. I adjusted the sheets above us and moved more pillows behind his head, wanting him comfortable as possible.
I stared into his eyes looking for the answer to the questions I knew he had. I wanted to find the answer to life so that I could bring his parents back to him. I knew Edward still loved me but in my arms was only part of the man that I knew him to be.
I wrapped his legs around my waist needing to be close to him. He closed his eyes at the contact or body made and the friction it still needed. Edward watched me from below, brushing back the curtain of hair the fell around us. I reached to our night stand and pulled out the condom and lube before taking him with another kiss. Preparing his body slowly, I watched as the world that Edward knew it then to be, loss and sadness, to go away even if just for a little while. I could see how he was lost in the feel of my hands playing with his body. The soundless moans and the faces of pleasure he made gave me hope that the love of my life wasn't completely numb after his lost. I moved above him to put on the condom but was stopped by Edward.
"Love, I need to feel you tonight. All of you."
I dropped the half open condom on the floor and placed myself back above Edward's ready and waiting body. The heat and tightness of Edwards prepared body was all most too much to bare. His entrance swallowed me in one smooth motion from all the lube. I stayed buried deep in his body wanting it not to end. Edward clawed in to my back, his warm breath on my skin making the feeling in the bottom of my stomach that much stronger.
He began to sob in my arms and the shaking of his body was doing things to our connections that painful tears should never do.
"Hold me tighter, Jacob. Please . . . please. . . don't let me go," Edward continued to ask and beg. It was then I could feel the warm tears that fell from his yes and onto my shoulder.
This was never about me. Never about a need to feel my Edward again. This was all about what he needed. Slow, sensual connection to remind him that he was far from alone and I was always connected to him; there with him. I couldn't take the pain away but for moments I could make him forget the hard times and remember the pleasure that was still in the land of the living.
I squeezed him as close to my body as I could, shift against him only to drive myself deeper. I held onto his legs and held him as strong as I could as my arm snaked around his back. I continued to rock back and forth in to Edward's body never pulling too far away from him.
"I'm not letting you go, Edward. I promise, babe, I will be right here." I whispered love and devotion into his ear and each thrust into his body.
Edward clawed deeper into my skin and pulled on my hair as he nibbled at my exposed neck and shoulders.
"Yes . . . yes . . . oh . . . Jacob . . .," Edward moaned.
To soon the fire in me was becoming far too strong. I took Edward in my hands, stroking his length between our bodies. In a short time I could feel his hot seed spilling between our already sweat laced stomachs. Edward's body calmed in my arms and I could do nothing more but smile knowing he was sated and able to cope, even if just for a little while. I gave way to the need of my own body. The feel of Edward's unsheathed entrance was heavenly both physically and emotionally. We were more one than ever before.
I reluctantly rolled out of bed to retrieve the things I needed to clean or bodies. When I returned from the bathroom, placing the towel in the hamper, I found Edward balled up in the bed, crying again.
"Love?" I called to him stretching and pulling his body to lay closer to my own and covering us with our sheet.
"Jacob, I don't' think I can do this. I can't go on without them." Edward whispered. I strained to listen to his broken voice.
"You can do this, babe, and I am going to do it with you. And so is Alice, and Jasper."
At the sound of his sister's name he only cried more. I knew he needed to get it out of his system so I just let him cry and when the shaking and tears increased I squeezed him little tighter; I whispered love into his ear, and I kissed him on his lips, temple and wrist to remind him that he was not alone.
Hours into the night, Edward tears began to slow and I watched as he dozed off, only to awake again.
"Promise me that you would never leave me. That we will always be together."
I knew Edward was speaking more than just about separating or divorce. He wanted a promise of an immortal eternity.
"Our love will stand the test of life and death, babe. We always were and we always will be. I promise," I said to him.
Edward never responded to my promise. I could feel his light snore as he still clung to my chest, his legs wrapped around mine.
I held my heart throughout the night, watching over him, reassuring him because that is what he needed too.
Edward: That was a hard time.
Chewie: Sorry for your lost, Edward.
Edward: Thanks, Chewie. Jacob was my rock.
Jacob: That's what I'm here 'for babe.
Chewie: Awww . . . . I love to see you two together.
Edward: Is that so?
Chewie: Uum . . . yeah . . .
Jacob: So then what's holding up our other story?
Chewie: What? I don't know what you are talking about.
Edward: So you don't have a story idea writen down that envolves you creating an OC?
Chewie: *eyes shifting* . . . maybe . . .
Jacob: So . . . maybe you should write the OC to prove how much you really love us.
Chewie: Hey! You two can't team up on me. You know I am working out the kinks of that story.
Jacob: Sure, sure.
Chewie: I don't have to take this. I am leaving!
Okay, so it is true I have an OC I want to write but the way this character is . . . created . . . is a big gray area for me so . . . check back and see if I was brave enough to write it.
Don't forget about "Talk Ain't Cheap." It's getting updated in a few days and my Edward/Felix New Moon AU is coming up next.