Sneak A Peek
"Penny, this is completely and utterly ridiculous."
"Sheldon, be quiet. You promised you'd do this without a fuss," reminded Penny, rolling her eyes even though she knew he wouldn't be able to see.
"No, I did not promise anything," he corrected her. His voice was slightly muffled from behind the changing room door. "I agreed I would be tolerable, but I still don't quite comprehend why you called my usual self irritating and condescending."
"Because it is," she replied. "Now are you done in there?"
There was a moment of silence. "Yes," he finally answered. "But I look absurd. It's like I'm in a Halloween costume."
Penny bit back a sigh, and was forced to roll her eyes again. She hadn't really planned on spending her Saturday afternoon at the mall with Sheldon, of all people, but Leonard said he needed help picking out a tuxedo and having Sheldon in her debt seemed like a great idea.
That was, until they actually went to the mall and she realized what a big mistake she had made.
Sure, she had done it once before, when he had needed a suit for his award, but for some reason that situation wasn't nearly as exhausting at the one she was in. She didn't know why, but for some reason he was being much more pickier.
Perhaps it was because of the incident of him getting drunk and having a video of him embarrassing himself posted online, or maybe he had just gotten even worse in his abnormal behavior.
Either way, two hours had passed and no progress had been made.
"Just let me see," she groaned from her seat in the chair, closing her eyes for a moment. "I'm sure you look fine."
It took a few seconds, but he finally pulled back the curtain to his changing room and she found herself staring at a very handsome Sheldon Cooper.
Wait, did she just think he was handsome?
Well, it wasn't like there was anything wrong with that. After all, it wasn't like she thought of him as hot or sexy or anything. Besides, the tuxedo really did look nice on him, that she had to admit.
Black slacks, a white button up shirt, a black jacket, and a black bow tie. There was no denying that Sheldon looked his best whenever he was dressed up, and it took her a moment to tear her gaze away.
"You look great," she told him, standing up from her chair. "So we'll take this one?"
It wasn't really in her nature to be in a hurry when shopping, but she just wanted to get out of there. He was horrible when it came to picking things. Not to mention that the tuxedo was extremely flattering, and she didn't want him to pick something else.
"If you want me to look completely inept in fashion," replied Sheldon. "But I guess this will have to suffice."
There was no arguing with him. "What's the occasion, anyways?" she asked as he walked back into the changing room.
"My cousin is getting married," he answered, closing the curtain once again. "I wasn't going to attend, but my mother insisted that I have to be present and my sister threatened physical harm."
"Why wouldn't you want to..." began Penny, but she stopped short once she realized something. He hadn't pulled the curtain all the way back and there was about an inch of space to where she could see into the changing room.
Normally she wouldn't have noticed anything like that, but movement caught her eye.
"Why wouldn't I want to do what, Penny?" questioned Sheldon from the room.
She had forgotten about her stopping mid-sentence, and him speaking snapped her back into reality.
"Oh, uh...why wouldn't you want to go to the wedding?" she asked, trying her best but failing to tear her gaze away from that spot. Before she could stop herself, she stood up and walked over next to the changing room, leaning on the wall.
This gave her a better view inside, and she stopped short once she realized exactly what she was trying to do.
This was Sheldon. Sheldon. Of all people, it was the lanky, irritable asshole that didn't seem to have any sexual thoughts whatsoever. Why would she be going out of her way to sneak a peek at him?
Well, maybe it was completely understandable. He had gotten a peek of her, seen her naked, and gotten a feel of a very intimate place on her body. This situation seemed to dull in comparison, though admittedly his peek and touch was an accident, or at least close to it.
Still, she still wasn't quite over him getting to see her so exposed. Why not have a little payback?
"My dear cousin has been wed four times before this, and I have been forced to appear to all of them," he answered, and she had momentarily forgotten she had asked him a question. "I just fall short whenever I try to find any reason or need for me to attend this one."
"Oh, well, that makes sense..." she agreed, though wasn't really paying her fullest attention. She lightly shifted her position to get a better view, and found that she could see almost clearly into the room.
And, of course, she saw a flash of a very intimate place and couldn't suppress a yelp, or falling backward and crashing to the ground.
There was the sound of movement in the changing room and, before she could even bother to move or think, the curtain was jerked back and Sheldon was standing above her, back in his normal clothes.
She tried her best to fight off the blush rising to her cheeks, but could already feel the heat radiating in her face. Meanwhile he looked confused, and she realized he wasn't yet aware of what had just happened.
"Penny," he said, stepping out of the changing room. "Exactly why did I just hear the sound of you yelling? And why are you currently situated on the floor? Surely the chair would be much more comfortable, why would you take the time and effort to come over...?"
He stopped speaking, and stared at her blankly for a moment. The workings of his mind seemed to be putting two and two together, and soon it seemed to click and an expression of deep horror appeared on his face.
"Were you making an attempt to see me naked?" he finally asked.
"No!" she immediately answered, her voice cracking nervously. "Why would you think that? God, you're so arrogant sometimes."
Penny hoped that his lack of social skills and such would be enough to make him completely oblivious, and mentally crossed her fingers.
But, of course, he wasn't going to accept her answer as easily as she had wished.
"Then why were you standing right next to the room?" he inquired, his eyes narrowed. "And the noticeable red tint of your cheeks indicate embarrassment."
"I-I..." Penny stuttered, standing up. She searched her mind for an excuse, any excuse, but came up short. She was on the defensive. "Well, why the hell did you take your underwear off, anyways? You were changing into a tuxedo, for Christ's sake!"
"I have a specific formal pair that I have to wear with suits and tuxedos, thank you very much!" replied Sheldon, and a moment later his eyes widened. "So you admit it, you were peeking!" he accused.
Before she could respond, he turned on his heel and stalked out of the room. "I feel so violated!" she heard him call once he disappeared.
Penny ended up buying the tuxedo for him, even though she couldn't find him anywhere in the store. Though she knew he couldn't have gone far unless he called a cab, which wasn't likely.
Sure enough, when she walked into the parking lot and to her car, she found him standing next to the passenger side door.
"It appears my refusal to drive has left me in a rather awkward predicament," he noted to her, shifting from foot to foot.
She rolled her eyes and unlocked the car, a moment later sliding into the driver's seat. He wordlessly got inside, and she began to pull out of the lot.
Once they were settled, she glanced over at him. "Sheldon, I'm sorry..." she began. "I was curious, and I know it was wrong."
"It completely violated my personal privacy." He was staring outside the window, seemingly refusing to meet her gaze. "Though I can understand how your lack of capability to resist your primal urges made it to where you would think of me as a suitable mate, and were curious to check out my physical features."
Penny's jaw dropped, and she almost jammed her foot against the brake.
"You think...You think I want to have sex with you?" she finally managed to get out. Was he crazy? Yes, he was. She had known that for years, why was she so shocked by what he was saying?
"Yes," he answered simply. "Why else would you, as they say, sneak a peek?"
"I told you, I was curious!" she said, her voice cracking again. "Why would I want to have sex with you?" She couldn't understand it. At all.
"Well, my abnormal intelligence must surely be an attractive quality," he began to explain. "Not to mention that society deems tallness in human males to be considered a good feature."
"That doesn't...well...maybe...I don't want you as a mate!" she finally managed to get out indignantly, wondering why the hell he would have such a thought. Sure, he was really smart and he was tall...
She glanced over at him, and found her eyes instinctively sweeping over his face and then going lower until finally...
He looked over at her. "You're doing it again!" he said, instantly crossing his legs which snapped her out of what she was doing. "Watch the road!"
She cut her gaze back in front of her, gripping the steering wheel tightly. "I'm sorry!" she apologized, not having the effort to deny it. "Not everyone is like you! I have a sex drive and I check people out and I'm curious and you snuck a peek at me once!" she reminded him fiercely.
"That was a completely different situation and shares practically no similarities to this one!" he argued, glaring over at her. "I was being a gentleman and simply helping you dress to go to the Emergency Room. It wasn't my fault my eyes opened!"
"I didn't hold it over your head though, did I?" she asked, but didn't wait for a response. "And whose fault was it, then?"
He didn't respond for a moment and, when he did, he ignored the last question. "Perhaps I am overreacting just a bit," he admitted. "But you did go over and initially look into my changing room, and that beyond violates social rules."
"And I'm sorry for that," she repeated for what felt like the billionth time. "There's nothing more for me to say. I promise I'll never do it again. Can we just pretend that it never happened?"
He didn't answer right away. But after a few seconds of quiet, finally replied. "I'm not sure I'll be able to push this incident to the back of my mind that easily," he said. "But I will agree not to mention the incident with you or anyone else from this point onward."
"Thank you," she responded, feeling relief flood through her. They drove in silence for a while, and something that she had wanted to mention finally got the best of her. "You have a pale ass," she remarked, glancing over at him. "It's kind of funny."
He didn't react. "And you have a tattoo of a Chinese symbol that translates into the word soup on yours, but I refrain from ever mentioning it."
Penny, once again, felt herself begin to blush. "Do you like my ass, Sheldon?" she asked teasingly, although finding herself slightly curious on what his reply would be.
"Not particularly," he answered. "I don't like soup very much."
And with that, the rest of the car ride was silent.