Couch Trips, A Ranma ½ Fan Fiction

By Henry Burns

The characters of Ranma ½ belong to the incredible Rumiko Takahashi. I only hope I have treated them well.

This story takes place several months after the second failed wedding attempt. Ranma and Akane haven't resolved their differences. In fact, things to haven't changed much at all. This is a partial rewrite of this story.

There are several conventions that I will use throughout this story.

When Ranma is in his man form I will use the masculine pronoun when in her female

form the feminine.

() Indicates Chinese

Indicates English

What has gone before? Nothing, this is the prologue.

Let the angst begin.


The peaceful morning of Nerima was suddenly shattered by the cry of "IDIOT", the sound of mallet meeting flesh and the whistling sound of a body flying through the air. In other words, it was just another typical Nerima morning. The residents of this ward of Tokyo just shrugged and went on their business.

A few minutes later, Ranma picked himself out of the crater the impact of his landing had made, shook the cobwebs out of head and started back to the Tendo Dojo. "Stupid tomboy," Ranma growled, "why does she always have to get so mad?" A sharp pain in his back stopped him for a second. Looking around, he realized that he had landed near Dr. Tofu's and decided to have the good doctor take a look at his latest injury. A couple minutes later Ranma entered the doctor's waiting room.  Since it was so early, Ranma was not surprised to find himself the only one there. "Hello? Dr. Tofu? Ranma called out. "Are you here?"

"Be right out," said a lightly accented voice from the back.


Odd, thought Ranma that doesn't sound like Dr. Tofu. From out of the back room came a complete

stranger to Ranma. He was a medium height, Caucasian with longish graying hair and an almost snow-white close-cropped beard. From the way he moved, Ranma could tell he wasn't a martial artist.


Yet even so, there was something unusual about the man. Ranma couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. It wasn't unpleasant. In fact it reminded him of... 'Kasumi.' thought Ranma, 'He reminds me of Kasumi.'

"Can I help you?" asked the man.

"Err, I was looking for Dr. Tofu," blurted Ranma. "Is he here?"

The man looked at Ranma for a second in thought for a moment. Suddenly he snapped his fingers and smiled." You must be Ranma," he said.

"How did you know?" stuttered Ranma.

"You look just the way Ono described you. Blue eyes, pigtail, athletic."

Pointing at Ranma, he continued on, "Chinese clothes. I'm Dr. Epstein, a friend of Dr. Tofu's;

from America."

Ranma bowed. "An honor to meet you Epstein sensei," said Ranma. Unfortunately, bowing was the very worst thing that Ranma could do at that moment and he gasped as the pain in his back suddenly peaked. Immediately, Dr. Epstein was at Ranma's side and guided him to one of the examining rooms in the back.   "This is not really my specialty," said the Doctor, "But I think, you should just lie down for awhile until Dr. Tofu returns, he should be here any-?" The bell to the front door rang. "-moment." He smiled. "Back here Ono."

"How did he know that was Dr. Tofu?' wondered Ranma to himself.

Into the back room came Dr. Tofu. "Robert?" Called the good doctor, "Is something... Oh, hello, Ranma. What brings you here today?"

"It's my back again, Dr. Tofu. That uncute, tomboy of a fiancée of mine, (why can't she ever listen?) I didn't do nothing." A sudden back spasm interrupted Ranma in mid tirade. Immediately, Dr. Tofu was at this side and with practiced skill quickly adjusted Ranma' spine. Ranma gasped as the pain suddenly ceased. Ranma experimentally moved his head, shoulders and back. "Hey," he exclaimed happily, "I'm cured. Thanks doc, you're the best."

"My pleasure, Ranma; But I'd really wish you and Akane wouldn't fight so much," Dr. Tofu scolded.

"Yeah, me too, doc. Me too," sighed Ranma in response.

"Maybe I could help." It was Dr. Epstein. "That is, if you'll let me."

"How could you help?" asked a dubious Ranma.

"Dr. Epstein is one of the world's foremost behavioral psychologists," explained Dr. Tofu. "I met him at a conference in Okinawa last month and invited him here to help me with a, well, a personal problem," finished the doctor.

"Oh, you mean Kasumi," grinned Ranma. Turning to Dr. Epstein, he asked, "You really think you can help Dr. Tofu?"

"Oh, I think so." replied Dr. Epstein with a smile 'But I was serious about my offer. I'd really like to help."

Ranma was quiet for a long moment. "I don't know what you think you can do, but I'd sure like to not fight with Akane. Not that I care…"Ranma broke off as his normal denial suddenly seemed false to him. ."Just would be nice to go through one day with getting mashed. Uncute tomboy never listens to me. Always blames me for everything. And I didn't do nothing!" The last sentence was almost said as a scream.

Dr. Epstein looked at Ranma. While Ranma was talking, his right eyebrow raised slightly. Then turned to Dr. Tofu. "Ono, can I borrow your office for a little while? Dr Tofu nodded "Come on Ranma lets' talk."