A/N: Soooo, don't kill me. I'm going to attempt to focus a bit more on writing, but don't count on it too much! I have a tendency of disappearing, but I'll try my best! I was a little sad that the story I had posted from a different fandom hasn't gotten as much notice as these do. Is it because there's no obvious pairing in it? Odd thing is, I submitted it to a fanfic contest at one of the conventions I go to, and it won a judges award. Soooo, if you like Hetalia and wanna support my writing, check out my story Memories in Ink!

And now that I'm done plugging my own story. Here you go! Enjoy and don't forget to review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach. Tite Kubo does. I just toy with the characters a bit.

"No faaaair," Rangiku Matsumoto whined, shielding her eyes from the horrible sun and dragging her feet. "Why does Taichou always have to send me on errands whenever I have a headache?"

Of course she wasn't thinking about the fact that it was a part of her job or that her headache was, not surprisingly, caused by a massive hangover. She was still positive that Toshiro only did it to make her suffer, which wasn't entirely untrue.

"Where am I even going with these?" the busty shinigami questioned, shuffling the papers in her hand while trying to recall her orders. After discovering that the files had to be delivered to the sixth division and realizing that she was going entirely in the wrong direction, Rangiku turned around and sluggishly began what felt like the longest trek across the Seireitei that she had ever made.

Considering that the hung-over lieutenant kept her eyes closed through most of the trip as an attempt to stave off the painful light, it's really a wonder that she had made it there at all.

"Huh? Is it usually this quiet around here?" Rangiku wondered as she walked through the halls of the sixth division. She hadn't run into a single shinigami, and as she glanced into a few of the rooms, she realized that no one was working. "That's odd."

Maybe they were all out in the training grounds? Rangiku recalled that Captain Kuchiki sometimes held mass sparring matches with his division, usually led by his over-excited lieutenant.

"Yeah," she decided with a nod, immediately regretting the sudden motion. "They're definitely out training." Turning on her heel, she figured that no one was going to be available to take the forms off her hands, so she might as well just head back to the tenth division and pass out for a while. At least, that was what she was going to do, if she hadn't heard a sudden, very loud moan coming from the direction of the main office.

"Now, what is this?" the voluptuous shinigami whispered, spontaneously sobering up. She slowly tiptoed over to the captain's office door, pressing her ear against the wood. Sure enough. . .

"Ah! Don' stop!"

Rangiku clapped her hand over her mouth to hold back the sudden urge to giggle with pure glee. The sound of the voice was followed by a few short pants and subdued moans, instantly hushed by a quiet, "Shhhh" from the other party. That voice. She recognized it. It was Renji's.

Now, if only she could tell who he was with. This information would be pure gold. She did not plan on letting him live it down. EVER. Quietly, and as discretely as possible, Rangiku reached out and slid the door open as far as she dared without being caught.

Peeking into the room, she caught sight of a very flustered Renji perched on his desk, his back to the voyeuristic shinigami. The redhead had his head thrown back, eyes closed in ecstasy. Rangiku took note on his state of undress, shihakusho hanging halfway off his broad shoulders, revealing dark tattoos that pulsed with every pant and moan. Whoever was causing these reactions from Renji was one lucky bitch. Speaking of which. . .

The strawberry-blonde woman opened the door a bit further to try and catch a glimpse of whoever else was in the room. All she could see was a head of raven hair nestled between Renji's bare legs, bobbing up and down in a constant rhythm while thin fingers dug into the tan flesh of the volatile lieutenant's thighs.

Who is that? Rangiku wondered, afraid to get too close, lest she be discovered. She didn't have to wait long to figure it out.

"Nng. . . ah! . . .Kuchiki!" Renji cried out, fingernails digging into the wood of his desk. The peeping lieutenant couldn't hold back a loud gasp at the name, bringing enough attention to herself to cause the sixth division lieutenant to look her way. Rangiku froze as their eyes met, confusion crossing Renji's dazed face before realization smashed into it like a bus. "Oh, fuck!"

It was too late. The biggest gossip in the Seireitei was already gone, scattering undelivered papers in the hallway as she went. Someone was going to hear about this.

"Guess what! Guess what! Guess what!" Rangiku shouted excitedly, her hangover long gone.

"Whaaaaat?" Ikkaku groaned, rolling over onto his stomach and covering his head with his hands. The others just ignored her, intent on lazing in the sun and consuming their lunches.

"I have the juiciest information in the Seireitei, and you're all ignoring me," she pouted, crossing her arms underneath her ample chest.

"Alright, alright," Hisagi humored, rolling his eyes so that only Izuru could see. "What is it?"

"I have it under good authority that Renji is sleeping with, and when I say 'sleeping' with I mean 'doing nasty, nasty things in the sixth division office in broad daylight' with. . ." she paused for effect, grinning as Yumichika leaned in with sudden interest. "Rukia Kuchiki!"

There was a moment of thoughtful silence before everyone started talking and asking questions.

"What? Really?"

"Yes, really."

"Not possible!"

"Oh, it's very possible, and totally happening."

"How would you know?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Hey guys! What're you talking about?"

"Oh, hi, Rukia."

Everyone paused for a moment, staring at the short shinigami that had just showed up before bursting into uncontrollable laughter.

"What?" Rukia asked, raising an eyebrow. "What the hell are you laughing about?"

"Oh, Rukia," Yumichika chuckled, wiping away a mirthful tear. "Why didn't you tell us that you were sleeping with Renji?"

"I'm what!" she cried out, eyes widening. "Where did you hear that?"

Rangiku was attempting to calm her own giggles in order to explain what she saw, but Renji choose that moment to appear, disheveled and out of breath, causing her to burst out again.

"Oh, shit. I'm too late, aren' I?" the exhausted shinigami grimaced, brushing his loose hair away from his face.

"Why do they think I'm sleeping with you, Renji?" the petite Kuchiki screamed, pointing an accusing finger at her old time friend.

"Wait, what? They think we're. . ." Renji drifted off, putting his hands in front of his face in case the fiery woman decided to throw punches.

"Oh, come on guys!" Rangiku managed while stifling a snigger with her hand. "You don't have to hide it anymore! I totally caught you in a very compromising position."

"It wasn't me, I swear!" Rukia cried, shaking her head furiously.

"Oh, please," the vain lieutenant grinned, rolling her eyes. "He even called your name between all the moaning and squirming. . . I should have gotten pictures," she added in thought.

"You called my name when you were with someone else?" Rukia drew her attention back to the redhead that was currently trying to sneak away.

"I can explain, I swear."

"Explain! What's there to explain!"

"Calm down. Let me talk, Rukia. . ."

"No! I can't believe you would do something like this! I mean, I never. . ."

"It was Byakuya!"

The room once again grew silent as this new outburst sank in. Rangiku thought about it for a moment before it all clicked. The empty division. The black hair and thin fingers. The heated, "Kuchiki!" that Renji had called in the throes of passion.


It was that one word, whispered under the tenth division lieutenant's breath, which tore everyone out of their stupor. Renji cringed as everyone attacked him with questions all at once.

"How did it go?" Byakuya calmly questioned as his lover dragged himself into his bedroom, flopping face-first on the bed and mumbling something incoherent into the blankets. "I cannot understand you when you smother yourself like that."

"I said that that was more painful than facing your bankai. Also, remind me to never seduce you in the office again, no matter how empty it is," Renji replied, rolling onto his back and sighing. "But, ya know, 'm glad it happened. We can stop hidin' now."

The noble nodded before reaching out to run his finger along the edge of Renji's shihakusho. "Are you planning on sleeping in that, Abarai?"

"Of course not," the younger man grinned mischievously, sitting up to cover Byakuya's lips with his own, sinking in deeper when the lithe man wrapped those arms around his neck. "Think you could help me change, my love?" Renji whispered into a pale ear, briefly running his pink tongue along the shell, eliciting a soft shiver from the other man.

"It would be my pleasure," Byakuya replied, pulling his subordinate in for another deep, affectionate kiss, before relieving them both of their unwanted clothing.