{Hazel and Cha-Cha's place}

"WOOH! That was awesome! Did you see how fast the blood was squirting out?" Hazel came in peeling off his bloody gloves from today's massacre. Cha-Cha followed doing the same.

"I know! There's nothin' like killing hobos after eating three boxes of Thin Mints."

"Nothin' can compare to that!"

Hazel and Cha-Cha were two sugar-high, homocidal freaks in masks. There was nothing they enjoyed more than getting loaded up on sugar and killing anyone on sight.



"Yeeeeees Hazel?"

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That cat sound."

"What cat sound?"

"You know, the cat sound, came out of your gun bag."

"What gun bag?"

"Quit being stupid Cha-Cha! Where's the cat?"



"Leave my gun bag alone, Hazel. I don't have a cat!"

Just then Cha-Cha's bag came open. A kitten plopped down on the floor.


"Huh. How 'bout that? There really was a cat in there... COOOOOOOOL! Maybe it'll grow up to be a lion so it can eat people we don't like and-"

"Cha-Cha! There is nothing cool about a freakin' cat!"

"Don't be mean to my Cho-Cho!"

"Don't tell me that you just named that thing Cho-Cho.."

"I'll name my Cho-Cho Hazel if I want to! And there ain't nothin' you can do 'bout it!"

"Hazel is my name! That stupid thing will not have my name!"

"It's not a thing!"

Then there was a knock on the door.

"What do you want!"

"Girl Scout cookies..."

"YEAH! THIN MINTS you little punk! Now!"

Cha-Cha swung the door open and the little girl screamed.

"Mommy! The mean hamster is all bloody and scary!"

"I'm not a hamster! Hey! Get back here with your cookies! Ugh. Those stupid little kids drive me insane!"

"Your insane anyway, Cha-Cha."



"Can we keep the cat?"

"...Fine. But it can't be named Cho-Cho."

"Awwwww! Why not?"

"Cha-Cha, do you want the cat or not?"

"Fine. What do YOU want to name it?"

"Hmmmmm... Boris!"



They then sat down for some violent cartoons.

{Hazel and Cha-Cha's place, again, at 6:00 a.m.}

"Are you freakin' serious?"

"What? Oooooooh! Did gaint candy saucers fly from the sky and offer themselves to us as awesome treats?"

"Shut up, Cha-Cha, your stupid cat just ate all the fish in the fridge. I'm done with this thing."

"Don't shoot my kitty! Pleeease!"

"I haven't killed anything for two days! And if the last thing I have to kill is him, good!"

"Then let's go get some cake and kill the baker!"

"Fine. But that thing stays!"


"Because I don't like it!"

"You don't like anything! You're so mean to me!"

"We'll talk about this later!"

"We never talk!"

"Well you're stupid!"

"You're a jerk!"

"Get ready to go. That cake shop place down the street opens in an hour."


{The cake place, Half Baked}

"I love cake! I love cake! I love cake! I love cake! I love cake! I love cake!"

"Hey! Waitress, come 'ere."

"Yes, sir?"

"We'd like to talk to the baker of this cake."


"Well I can tell him whatever you need to-"

"Get the cake man!"

"Ah! O-ok!"

"Good going Cha-Cha. Make us look suspicious."


"You got rid of the people over there right?"

"What people?"

"The people- Ugh, nevermind, you probably scared the crap outta them."

"Uh, hello. I was told you wanted to speak with me?"

"Hello. That cake tasted really good."


"Well, thank you. It's not that hard to make if you'd like me to tell you."


"That sounds great. It'll take a minute to get to our house. And you won't struggle."

"Excuse me?"

"Haha! Die Cake Man! Die!"

"Wait! What?"

{On the street}

"What do you want with me?"

"We're bored."

"This is what we do when we're bored! Stupid cake man!"

"But what are you going to do to me?"

"Whatever we feel like I guess."


"The police will find you, I told my waitress to call them. What'll you do then?"

"Donno. Kill 'em."

"You'd just kill somebody?"

"Sure, that's what we do."

"Instant armageddon!"

"We kill people all the time."

"Thin Mints!"

"Calm down Cha-Cha."


"You two are phycopaths!"

"And sociopaths, don't forget sociopaths."


{Back at Hazel and Cha-Cha's}

"Dance, cake man, dance! Dance your chef hat off!" Cha-Cha kept shooting at the baker's feet, making him move his feet in a dance jump kind of way.

"Cha-Cha put your toy in the closet, you can break it later." Hazel stood in the middle of the room. "This place is way too clean... Cha-Cha! Get the 'toys' ready for our guest."

"WOOH! You wanna take the bat?"

"Nah. You can have that."

Just then there was a hard pounding on the door.

"Open up! We know you got Mr. Karter in there!"

Mr. Karter, who was the cake man, started yelling from the kitchen.

"Shut up! Cha-Cha, you ready?"


"Come in!"

The police kicked open the door. All were ready with their hands on the butt of their pistols.

"Let us have him now, and give yourselves up. This can all go by quick. You'll go to court and have a hearing, the judge will decide your punishment."

"Aww, and end this little gathering so soon? Where's the excitement in that?"


"I'll give you one more chance."