This is another stab I'm taking at a Oneshot/Drabble/CrackFic/Thingie. There's no slash to be had and much revenge to behold. Hopefully none of these characters are OOC, and if they are, please tell me. Also, if you see any spelling/grammar mistakes, please point them out to me. I aim to improve my writing. :) Enjoy!

Oh, this Fic thing takes place during 'Shadowzone'. Please correct me the units of time are wrong. StoleTheSpider owns nothing.

Cycle - 1 Minute

Megacycle - 1 Hour

Nanoclick - 1 Second

Well this was…different. When Breakdown had returned from scouting a fresh Energon trail to resume his medical assistant duties, he wasn't expecting to see Starscream knocked out on the medical berth. He'd heard the rumors that the second had recently lost an arm to Prime, but he figured the Knock Out had fixed that megacycles ago. So what was Starscream still doing here? And in a manual stasis lock by the looks of it.

Breakdown stepped fully into the Med Bay, looking around for the medic as he warily approached the medical berth. So the rumors were true. Starscream's arm was completely blown off. The wound looked pretty nasty with the charred metal sparking slightly, a small trail of glowing Energon leaking out onto the berth. Breakdown winced. Maybe that was why Starscream had to be put in stasis. The pain he's probably feeling must be pretty intense. But at this point, Breakdown wasn't sure of anything and wouldn't be until he wheedled some answers out of Knock Out.

"Knock Out? You in here?" Breakdown called, his voice echoing a bit in the quiet, spacious Med Bay.

"Coming Breakdown." Knock Out's voice growled back, out of sight.

The navy and white mech gulped. That tone…That tone meant that Knock Out was in a bad mood, and when Knock Out was in a bad mood, mechs got hurt. That buzz saw that the medic was equipped with was meticulously polished and sharpened every day, and because of that, it had a nasty bite. Breakdown would have to tread carefully if he wanted to return to his berth unscathed.

As soon as Breakdown heard the sound of approaching pedes, he tensed up and immediately held his servos up in a universal gesture of surrender. The Med Bay doors whooshed open to reveal Knock Out, who had a grouchy look on his faceplates. "I had to get something from storage. Some miserable-…What are you doing?" the medic asked, raising an optic ridge as he eyed Breakdown.

"Keeping my distance."

"Quaint." Knock Out drawled.

"You can't blame me. For as long as I've known you, the one thing that I know for sure is that when you're in a bad mood, everyone needs to get the frag out of your way." Breakdown replied.

"Hmm. You're currently not the one on my hit list Breakdown, so if you wouldn't mind stopping that ridiculous pose and actually helping me, I would greatly appreciate it." Knock Out said sardonically as he stepped up to the medical berth.

"Sure. Whatever you say Doc. If you don't mind my asking though, what happened to Starscream? I thought you had already finished his repairs? Did his arm get blown off again?" Breakdown asked as he stepped up next to Knock Out, pulling a trey of medical tools with him as he did so.

"I tried, the ungrateful slagger. I offered him every single upgrade that was available. Even the null ray. In the end I just went ahead and made a copy of his old arm. Do you know how many megacycles I slaved away at making that replica? It was perfect. Made from scratch too! Primus forbid that Starscream go for an upgrade and make this whole situation easier for me. So after I went through all the trouble of completely rebuilding Starscream's arm, the fragger said it was atrocious and wouldn't let me attach it to him. That's why I was back in storage. I had to go look through all the spare parts to see if we had a suitable replacement." Knock Out said, grinding his denta.

Breakdown had never heard Knock Out curse before. This really was serious. But what was making him so mad? Was it that Starscream called the remade arm atrocious and the medic felt scorned? Or was it that Knock Out was sick and tired of fixing the Seeker only to have him go out and get himself beat up nanoclicks later. Breakdown wasn't sure that he wanted to know.

"Well…just lie and say that you didn't have the parts to completely remake his arm again to his specifications and then slap a spare from storage on him."

A devious grin crawled over Knock Out's faceplates. "Oh don't worry. That's exactly what I'm going to do. Now I all I have to do is attach this arm and pull Starscream out of stasis and be done with him. Our commander is going to be in for the shock of his life."

Not for the first time, Breakdown thanked Primus that he was Knock Out's friend and not his enemy.

"So is that what's in your servos? Starscream's new arm?" Breakdown asked as he pointed to the wrapped bundle in Knock Out's grasp.

"Yes. As I was looking through the spare upgrades, parts, and limbs, I believe I found the perfect replacement for our beloved Commander. Ready to start the reattachment procedure?" Knock Out chuckled sinisterly.

"Whenever you are." Breakdown said in a monotone, already slipping into medical assistant mode, barely paying attention to what Knock Out was actually doing, just handing over the tools that were requested of him, occasionally attaching a loose wire here or tightening a bolt there. Nothing too serious. After all, this was not Breakdown's first time reattaching an arm under Knock Out. Eradicons and Vehicons came in here on a daily basis with missing limbs. Thankfully the Nemesis had an excess of spare Vehicon and Eradicon parts for just such occasions. And because of that, Breakdown was all too familiar with the procedure for reattaching an arm. Just because their patient was a Seeker and not an Eradicon made no difference to him.

The cycles went by smoothly and after wiping his hands off on a spare rag, Knock Out stepped away from the medical berth, surveying his work with a satisfied smirk.

Breakdown stopped straightening the medical tools long enough to peer at the unconscious Seeker. What he saw caused him to do a double take. "Knock Out…Starscream's arm…it's pink!"

"Why yes Breakdown. That it is. Very good." Knock Out drawled, smugly crossing his arms across his chassis.

"That looks like a femme's arm! Primus Knock Out! Do you have a death wish? Starscream's not going to be happy when he comes out of stasis and sees that thing attached to him. Where did you even get that part?" Breakdown exclaimed.

"If you actually look through all the things that we have in storage, you will be very surprised by what you'll find. This arm was probably picked up in a raid or something along those lines. It makes no difference to me."

"Slag. I'm getting out of here. I don't want to be anywhere around here when you bring Starscream out of stasis. I'll see you when your shift ends…that is, if you're still online." Breakdown somberly said, pushing the tool cart away in his haste to get out of the Med Bay as fast as possible.

Knock Out chuckled and waved him away. "Spoilsport. You're going to miss all the fun. No matter. I'll make sure to recount everything for you later once I discharge my patient. This will teach him to take better care of himself." he said, the last part directed more or less towards the still form of the Seeker on the medical berth than to Breakdown.

Just as Breakdown felt the Med Bay doors swoosh to a close behind him, he heard Knock Out chuckle, "And let the games begin." and step over to the medical berth to bring Starscream out of stasis. Breakdown picked up the pace. Pit hath no fury like a Seeker embarrassed.


Starscream groaned as he slowly came online, still a bit drowsy from stasis. Where was he? Oh yes, the Med Bay. He was getting a replacement for his lost limb. Starscream growled at bit at the memory. Curse that Prime. How dare he attack him in cold Energon and blow off his arm like that? Blast his accursed aim. Then something clicked for Starscream. If he was just going through a simple arm reattachment, why did he have to manually be put in stasis? Normally, patients were kept conscious while the reattachment process was happening. Maybe he was just a special case; he was the Second in Command after all. His time in the Med Bay should be as comfortable as possible.

Hefting himself up at bit to get a better look at his surroundings, Starscream heard the sound of approaching pedes. The Med Bay doors whooshed open to reveal the medic himself. Seeing that the Seeker was fully out of stasis, Knock Out tilted one of his hips to the side then rested a servo on it, his trademark pose. Starscream could have sworn that there was a slight shark like smirk on the medic's faceplates, but he couldn't be sure. The unusually dim Med Bay lights were doing nothing to help his vision.

"Ah! Starscream! You've finally decided to come out of stasis. I was afraid that all of the beatings that Megatron had given you had finally caught up with you. We wouldn't want you to become one with the Allspark yet would we?" he smirked.

Starscream growled at Knock Out's snarky tone. "No thanks to your wonderful medical expertise doctor." he clipped; growling out the word doctor like it was an insult.

Knock Out shrugged off the thinly veiled insult and approached Starscream on the medical berth. "Hmm. Does your new arm seem to be working fine? I must say Herr Commandant; you choose an awfully inconvenient time to lose a limb. I had to dig through the many a pile of spare parts in the storage hold just to find a few suitable replacements for you. You could have had an upgrade you know, but seeing how vehemently you turned down all my offers, I went ahead and replaced your lost limb with one that I found of a similar build to your old one. I hope that it's acceptable." Knock Out said with just a hint of something akin to arrogance underneath his tone that Starscream couldn't place.

The Seeker rolled his shoulder and stretched his out his new arm to its full length, testing the wires and gears, feeling how it moved and shifted. Something felt…off about it but, and he was loath to admit it out loud, the medic had actually done a good job. His new arm actually felt better than his old one, fluidly moving with little resistance from the joints. Except for that off feeling, it was like he had just gotten a really good tune up and not a completely new arm.

"Yes. It does feel acceptable. This will do me just fine. Now get out of my way." Starscream grudgingly said as he tried to heft himself off the medical berth, eager to return to his work of plotting his ascension to lordship.

"Whatever you say Commander Starscream. Happy to be of service." Knock Out smirked as he dipped into a small mock bow.

"It is Lord! Do not make me give you another little reminder Knock Out." Starscream vehemently hissed as he whipped around to glare at the medic, having just about of his cheek for the day.

Knock Out repressed the urge to flinch as the little 'reminder' played itself though his processor. Those scratches were not an easy thing to fix. But Knock Out held his ground and continued to smirk at the Seeker, taunting him.

Just as when it seemed that Starscream would lose what little patience he had left and lash out at the medic, Starscream turned on his pede, let out a disgusted noise, and stomped out of the Med Bay, muttering several obscenities to himself on his way out.

Knock Out just laughed and went to straighten up his medical tools that Breakdown had left. Confident that he would be able to hear from where he was when the Seeker found out about his replacement arm, Knock Out just laughed louder. The walls of the Med Bay may be thick, but Starscream wasn't called Starscream for nothing. This is where the fun began.


That insolent medic. For the umpteenth time, Starscream regretted calling Knock Out and his partner to the Nemesis. All he had done so far was to annoy the slag out of him. Granted, the medic was quite talented at his profession and he was a handy mech to have around in a pinch, he had taken down Prime after all and had helped them collect the Energon Harvester, but that still doesn't mean that he had to go around and purposely try to make Starscream's life a living Pit. Honestly, the quality of work around here.

Starscream closed his optics with an exasperated vent and ran his new servo over his helm. One problem. It didn't reach. His servo stopped short just over his optics. It was too short. Growling to himself, he lowered his servo and turned to head back to the Med Bay. Leave it to Knock Out to mess up a simple procedure. He couldn't even reattach an arm right, leaving them at different lengths. The medic probably failed the procedure on purpose just to annoy him. Vain little aft.

Just before he was about to turn on his pede again and storm back to the Med Bay, the bridge doors in front of him opened to revel a small group of Vehicons.

"Commander Starscream. There's some trouble on the bridge. It looks like there's been a sighting-! Commander Starscream?" One Vehicon hesitantly called.

Starscream groaned quietly to himself and made to turn around. "What is it? What could possibly be so important that it demands my immediate attention?" he sighed. The work of a Commander was never done, especially when he was surrounded by such incompetent fools.

Starscream never got his answer. When the Seeker fully turned around to look at the Vehicons, he saw that they were all trying to hide snickers and chuckles behind their servos. What had gotten into them?

"What? What is so funny?" Starscream growled, his patience wearing thin with these bumbling idiots. Would he ever get back to the Med Bay to deal with Knock Out to get his arm properly fixed?

"Nothing sir. It's just…your arm. It looks quite nice on you sir." the first Vehicon stuttered out, failing to conceal his laughter.

"Oh yes sir. It really makes your optics pop." a second said.

"Very distinguishing if I might say so sir." a third chuckled.

What in Primus were these fools talking about? Suddenly it clicked. The off feeling in his arm, his servo not quite reaching his helm. There was something else wrong with his arm than it just having it being the wrong length. Of course, Starscream hadn't really looked at the new limb since the quick once he had given it in the dark Med Bay. Why should he have to give it a thorough checking over? He trusted Knock Out to obey his orders and replace his lost limb with a suitable replacement. Why should he doubt that his orders would go unheeded? But now, looking at the laughing Vehicons, Starscream started to doubt himself.

Moving towards the well-lit bridge, Starscream looked down at his new arm…and let out a scandalized shout. It was pink! It was a pink femme's arm! He could tell by its build and by the design of its finish. Why in Primus' name had Knock Out replaced his arm with a femme's arm? The indecency! And the worst part was that Knock Out had purposely let him go out in front of his troops with this…thing attached to him! This was the last straw. That medic would pay.

Storming past the now hysterical Vehicons, Starscream made a point of firing at them and forgot exactly which arm he was firing with. Starscream scowled deeper and bit out several obscenities when nothing but a faint wheezing noise came out of the femme cannon. Starscream settled for firing the missile on his other arm at the Vehicons as he stormed away.

Oh yes. Knock Out would pay most dearly for this.

End seems kind of rushed to me. Meh. So? Spot any mistakes? Think of it as a very late Easter Egg hunt. XD Anyhoo, thanks for reading and feel free to leave a review about what you think. :)