Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to either Labyrinth or Once Upon a Time. This crossover was written purely for my own entertainment and posted to amuse others. No disrespect meant, no copyright infringement intended.
"Ah, Jareth. On time I see." Regina stood leaning against the bark of her apple tree. A finger tapped against her elbow as she raised a brow in tease. Her full red lips pursed at the sight of the stranger who had so magically – albeit with some difficulty- emerged in front of her in a cloud of glitter.
The man wore very tight pants, showing off his nice calves and tight buttocks. He struck a pose which made his cape flutter around him. His long yellow hair contained a blue streak which matched the make-up that accentuated his eyes and made him look possibly fouler than he was of character. His lips tightened before he parted them in a speechless sigh and he strode over to her.
"Regina. It must have been a while."
The mayor smiled at him charmingly for it was not below her to flirt with the highest and mightiest of other worlds. "There was no worldly portal to contact you sooner." She pointed out and he agreed in silence.
"I know. Only few are capable to cross lines between worlds. The imp counts himself a lucky man for he masters the technique." Jareth pinched the bridge of his nose. "He is not here?" It wasn't as much as a question as it was a statement. The mighty Goblin King knew for certain that Rumplestiltskin wasn't around for he could not sense the other man's presence.
"No," Regina shook her head. "I had to toy a bit with the magic abandoned by other let's say 'unfortunate souls' to send you my message through time and space." She had her arms folded in front of her chest and now pushed them up a bit to enhance her cleavage. She knew Jareth was a powerful man, but a man indeed, and owned a man's weaknesses.
"And I am happy to see the message reached you. How did you manage to transport?"
The Goblin King raised a brow in amusement. "It's too long a story to bore you with, but your offer sounded pleasant."
Regina let out a laugh to please him. "Of course. I had Henry stamp his foot and call for you three times but you never appeared. Care to tell me why?"
The man looked displeased and turned away, hand on hip, to stare at the horizon. "It's complicated, Regina, dear. We never used to be in the same world or in worlds connected. The world you managed to transport yourself to via the curse is, however, closer to mine. As you are aware I own the Underworld, the Underground, of planet Earth, and as such it has become easier for you to contact me. I am afraid though that your magic used is so foul it would keep any magician away. Your curse created a barrier almost impossible to penetrate and signals can't reach in as much as they can reach out. In other words, your adopted son's cries never left the town and never pierced through the barrier you created."
Regina sighed in annoyance. "How is that possible? The child is one of the few capable of thwarting the curse and leaving the town." She formed a fist in frustration and gritted her teeth, but Jareth did not see. He still stood with his back turned to her.
"Perhaps if you would have sent him out of town to do as your bidding you would have achieved your goal." The Goblin King dryly remarked.
"Perhaps." Regina bristled. "But now that you're here we should discuss the matters at heart."
Jareth could not help but chuckle at her words and Regina's eyes met his as he turned. She icily continued.
"From the moment Maleficent returned the Dark Curse to me I knew that you had been involved in creating it. There was no way Rumplestiltskin crafted a world with the ingredients he found alone. You have showed him this world, I presume?" She raised both hands to gesture at the world around her and Jareth had to suppress a smile.
"Why would it matter to you?" He retorted.
"Because I want to know." Regina hissed. "I want to know if the perfect little world I created is truly mine."
"Then I have to disappoint you." Jareth said as he slouched himself against the tree to her right. He came to look at her from over his right left. "The imp is as much as an imp as he is a goblin."
Regina knew what he meant by that. Rumplestiltskin, after inheriting the powers of the Dark One, had become a creature that belonged in none category. His goblinness had made it easy for him to access the Goblin King's kingdom and gain his advice. The two had probably made a deal they had both prospered from.
She placed a finger against her lips and had a deep thought about it all. After all it had been Rumplestiltskin who had introduced her to the Goblin King a long, long time ago, when he had needed her and she had needed him. She had been able to play the imp by then and he had reluctantly agreed to introduce her to another powerful man from a different world. She had tried to trick Jareth but he had been too clever and much like the golden imp had prospered while she had lost something valuable. It was a time she did not like to glance back at. But right now she needed this man's help for she knew she was losing to the golden man who limped about the town like he owned it. And no one in this world could help her win. He was the only man near who might give her a chance at beating Rumplestiltskin.
"I can see you want my help to win this personal vendetta you have with him." Jareth's words snapped her out of her thoughts and she forced a smile. "Why, yes." There was no need for her to deny it.
"I can be cruel, Regina."
"I know." She pondered about the matter a moment longer and then glanced at him. "So you admit he visited you to craft this curse of his? This curse of which he knew one day I'd use it?" The words sounded bitter for they were spoken by a woman who had lost her kindness a long while ago and had yet to find it back.
Jareth nodded elegantly. "He inserted this world I've showed him."
"Tell me, why not the Underground? Why would he not choose for your Kingdom and to be close to you, his ally?"
Jareth smirked in a way which reminded Regina sickeningly of her golden nemesis. "Now where would be the fun in that?" The man replied teasingly. He had become bored and started to roll a ball of glass from one hand to the other as if it took him no effort at all. And it didn't.
"Besides," he continued, "my world would be too magical, too much like yours. It never really was an option. But at least the idea of a different world and dimension he picked up when visiting me. Or so I like to believe."
It felt good for once that someone was being honest without holding a price card into her face. Regina relaxed a little.
"So the crafty bastard created a spell he knew I was going to use, then turned against me to achieve his own longings." She grinned at the blond male next to her who was juggling his balls. "With the intention of ridding him of his own curse, no doubt." She licked his lips. Although she hardly ever showed her cards she had quite the knowledge at bay. She was aware of most of Rumplestiltskin's motives which made it easier to see where his plans would take him. She had a few tricks up her sleeve, such as the girl locked up in the asylum, and more, which she planned on using whenever the time seemed appropriate. But something had told her that perhaps the girl wasn't enough to guarantee her win. Something in the shape of a gorgeous blonde woman who was terrorizing their town.
The mayor swallowed. Her throat had gone dry. Those lucky people with their crushes and good lucks or witty charm. She would crush their happiness; she would win this. "I don't want this curse to end." She admitted to the man at her side. He was alarmingly patient for a magical being. She had been eating a lot of his time already by merely inquiring. Apparently he was enjoying himself or thinking he could get a good deal out of this.
"If he wins, and by the gods I don't mind if he breaks his own curse and becomes a mortal boring coward again, but if he wins then my happiness might be lost forever. This was supposed to be my revenge and you will help me achieve this."
Jareth glanced at her. "Me?" He raised a brow and flipped the magic ball from one hand onto the back of the other. "How would you suggest I do this? Murder him? Kidnap him? Turn him into a goblin? He already is in a way, you know."
Regina grinned. "I know. But that's not it. I need someone he would not suspect, someone from out of town, or even better out of this world, to back me up. You'll do nicely. I know you have magic in your hands and I know how you love a game of pleasing. I don't care how you'll do it, but you'll help me distract the imp any way you can. His eye has fallen on our town's savior. I suspect her to be the long lost daughter of Snow and Charming."
Jareth raised a brow at her as he was unfamiliar with the names she mentioned but she ignored his inquisitive stare and continued. "They think I don't know, least not suspect, but I am not as stupid as they think I am." She wiggled her little finger.
"So this could kills two birds with one stone, so to speak." She said, and placed a hand seductively on her hip. For a moment Jareth's unmatched eyes lingered on her lower frame before they darted up to lock with hers.
"I am afraid I don't follow." He mused.
"The town's sheriff is a feisty young woman and probably the one who will break the curse. Rumplestiltskin, now in the poor gimping shape of Mr Gold, needs her to break this curse in order for him to be free of the Dark One's powers. If that happens my happy ending ceases to be." She stretched out her arms dramatically.
"However, suppose he would be distracted and unable to focus on breaking the curse? He already is whenever she is around. Suppose they would be too busy being lovey-dovey? It would give me the extra time needed and it would make my wild card so far more interesting." With her 'wild card' Regina meant Belle, whose presence would have a far greater impact if Mr Gold was half-way cured from his heartache for her. Suppose he would end up having to choose between the two girls? Oh, such happy thoughts. And then she could kill one of them.. or two.. or perhaps kill one and mutilate the other. She had so many sinister plans.
Jareth smirked as he saw the clouded black ideas drift around Regina's head. As a magical creature he could sense most of what she was thinking and could not help but be entertained.
"I am not a matchmaker." He said, offering his hand and placing the crystal ball, the magical sphere, inside her hand. She looked rather confused at it.
"This won't be matchmaking. The two are already lost in each other's hearts. All you need to do is get them together, get them distracted. Send your goblins to make them cross roads by accident, I don't care how you do it. Just make sure they will not kiss. Not ever."
The Goblin King rubbed his chin thoughtfully whilst grinning wildly.
"You make it sound like such a challenge. How can I refuse?"
Regina returned the grin. "I knew you'd be a good sport."
"You do know Rumplestiltskin has always been a friend of mine. To see him suffer would be most unfortunate."
"After what he last did to you?" Regina jibed, "How could you even say such a thing! He never contacted you again."
Jareth frowned at her. "He was busy working on this curse of his. The one you used. After that contact was pretty impossible. I knew not where he had been located."
"You know now." Regina retorted irritably. She squeezed the crystal ball in her hand but it did not break. "Will you do it?"
"Of course I will." Jareth replied with a slight smirk. "So long as he won't be murdered by this vile act I will help you."
Regina heaved a sigh of relief. Her grip on the crystal ball had loosened again.
"Will you not mention your price?" She asked when Jareth said nothing and just stared at her as if in thought. The man cocked his head and stroked his chin with his gloved hand. "You know me too well, despite having met me only once before." He retorted.
Regina huffed. "Aren't all wizards the same?"
His cold mismatched eyes met hers. "No."
She frowned and at his intent stare glanced sideways, whites of her eyes gleaming. "Then I suppose you will want nothing in return."
The fae dissented with a cough and waved his gloved hands. "So they are the same after all." Regina said with half a smile. He nodded as he agreed. "In a way we all would like a favor in exchange of a favor. I am sacrificing my time for you."
"And it will be well worth it." Regina assured him. "But if it's something you want in turn how about you can ask any favor of me you wish?"
She could tell by Jareth's frown he wasn't too pleased with the idea and quickly clipped her lips. The man tilted his head and some of the magic dust that would sparkle upon his appearance dropped off and touched the grass which responded by growing an inch or two. Regina looked at it in disdain. She would need to mow the lawn soon.
"You'll distract Rumplestiltskin, Mr Gold, by keeping him and the Town's Sheriff, Emma Swan, occupied," Regina reiterated, "and in return I will help you to gain the girl." She gave him a smug smile and her eyes sparkled. For a moment the eyes of Jareth seemed to glow.
"What was her name again?" Regina teased him. "Sarah?" She walked a few steps away from him whilst swaying her hips. "Such a sweet little girl who beat your labyrinth and brought you to your knees. And she won?"
Jareth grit his teeth. His right hand formed a fist and the leather of his glove crackled.
"You of all people know how it feels like to lose a game." Regina continued, pushing him. She knew he would help her, but by irritating him with this memory she would play him into her hand. If he'd ever think of foul play she would have another card to hold.
"I'll help you win if you help me. I'll owe you no favor. This is my offer in turn. I'll make sure the girl craves you." She turned back to the fae and punctuated each word. Her lips formed a rose, a flower opening and closing as she sensually explained to him how the girl after a treatment would not only 'want' but rather 'crave' the mighty Goblin King. The man addressed was clearly shaken but hid it well.
"My dearest Regina, what makes you think I want the girl? What makes you think I could not get her myself if I wanted to?" He retorted. He had left his position near the tree as he suddenly had become too tense to stand there and flaunt his magic balls.
"A little birdie told me she rejected your offer and left you to grovel for her love. She expelled you from her life."
"That little birdie didn't happen to be a rat capable of transcending time." Jareth replied sharply.
Regina just smiled. "Perhaps."
The Goblin King placed his hands in his sides and narrowed his eyes at her. "Still, what makes you think you can achieve this change of mind? Others have tried and failed. What is it you have that makes you able to succeed in this?"
"Female tuition." Regina smirked at him. "I can educate the girl and corrupt her heart most utterly and most foully, and you shall be left wanting nothing."
"All right." Jareth nodded while he draped his cape around his shoulders. "If you think you're able to achieve this then we have ourselves an arrangement."
"Great." Regina swelled with the thought of finally being able to outwit her nemesis and find her happy ending.
"Bring the girl to me." She said, and the man looked at her with a frown.
"That is your problem." Jareth retorted as he stepped away from her. "I'll place her location on a map on your desk. How you get her is your concern. Just as it is for me to find a way to get the two 'love-birds' together. I think we both have our hands full for a while. If you need me just use the boy."
With a wave of the hand Jareth had gone and transported himself out of the magical barrier the curse had created. Regina was left clutching his crystal and gritting her teeth. "Fine." She said, not entirely displeased with the way things had gone. She looked at the crystal and then threw it against her apple tree. The magic that swarmed out of it cured the cut-off branch and made her tree flourish. Her smile grew, this time a honest one, at the sight of the man's gift.
Perhaps an alliance with this man was not such a bad idea after all.
AU: I hope you enjoyed reading (despite not having checked the grammar/spelling and everything xD but I just had to upload this now). Currently I have not decided yet where to go with this story. I have seen a call for a Jareth/Regina fanfic on the kink meme on lj, on the other hand I love Sarah and Jareth together a great deal as well. A trio I would not mind either of them. But we'll see where this story will lead to. Don't forget to review if you liked it, reviews are cookies for the author ;D