A/N: This was written in light of Cartman and Kyle's changing dynamic on the show. All characters are 18 or over.

To Have Kyle

"I hate that we're doing this," he mumbled miserably. The lips caressing his neck stopped and the hand in his hair clenched. When Cartman withdrew from him Kyle felt sick looking at the other boy's expression. Things were just so confusing now. "It doesn't feel right."

"But it feels good," Eric argued back, avoiding Kyle's gaze. Instead he kept his eyes on the revealed expanse of pale flesh framed by the wings of the redhead's jacket. Earlier when he'd unzipped it to find Kyle shirtless underneath his heart had almost hurt it was pounding so hard. He scratched a nail over the left nipple, catching up on the raised skin. Kyle exhaled, shifting under him and Eric didn't have to look to see that plush bottom lip being squeezed by white teeth, and the dark flickering of conflicting emotions in forest green eyes. Cartman was sick of seeing that. "Tell me it doesn't feel good," he said, winding his hot tongue around Kyle's pert nipple, "And I'll leave."

Throwing his head back, Kyle gasped, arms trapped in the folds of the jacket pushed down over his bare shoulders. "I-I don't know," he bit out, frustrated and struggling to wriggle free. "Don't ask me because I can't-"

He caught the redhead's mouth and swallowed his words, pushing his tongue in to muffle half-assed protests. Kyle's legs clamped around his hips, fists clenching and unclenching as he fought the jacket further down his arms. Eric rode the movement, deepening the kiss as he rolled his hips, moaning when Kyle bit down hard on his lips when their clothed erections rubbed hotly through denim. Without breaking the searing kiss, Eric peeled out of his jacket, reaching down clumsily to undo his fly. He fumbled while their kiss turned vicious, teeth flashing between red lips as Kyle felt him pull out his erection. The redhead always got like this. Almost violent in his need and passion. More than once they'd left each other with blood, but Cartman never regretted. Kyle was the sweetest delicacy among all of Eric's luxurious indulgences.

There'd be no talking now. The course of action had been decided after the initial hesitation that saved him some dignity. Kyle wasn't above lying to himself to maintain his pride, and he wasn't below accepting that he wanted something. The sound of their breathing was heavy and wet. Precum smeared cross his stomach while Cartman reached down to pull Kyle out of his pants, tugging them down his legs to leave them hanging off one ankle. They hadn't ben naked together yet, but Kyle didn't think about that. He thought about the way their dicks felt when they rubbed together, and the pinched pull of the muscles in the backs of his thighs as Cartman pressed his legs back against his chest. He was still tangled in his coat, unable to brush the sweaty hair out of his eyes, or touch back.

He hadn't actually ever touched Eric. It was something among the many somethings that went unsaid, unasked. Not too long after they'd started this… thing they had going, Eric would find excuses to somehow incapacitate the redhead's arms. Then the question of why he hadn't been touched by the boy was moot. Now Kyle couldn't touch him. It made it easier that way. Easier to heft Kyle's slender legs over his shoulders, easier to rock the boy's body back until he was bent nearly double. Easier to look down as green eyes remained stubbornly shut, and white teeth sunk into the pliable skin of his lip.

Once Stan had called while Eric was balls-deep in Kyle's ass. The look on Kyle's face had enraged him. It was an expression of guilt and shame. Emotions, another of the unmentionables, had been put on the table. Eric had been so angry while Kyle stared at the buzzing phone, humiliated by the look of obvious fear on the redhead's face. Afraid that Stan might find out, might catch them. That maybe he'd find out Kyle's dirty little secret.

Eric's back had been sore for hours after. He fucked Kyle so hard that the redhead had started to cry. But not once did he say "No" or ask him to stop. Like he was accepting punishment for keeping this embarrassment hidden. And that only fed the fire of rage stoked in Eric's chest. The ugliness of it. While tears were streaming down his face Kyle had lifted his hips to meet each thrust, had dug his nails viciously in bleeding grooves down Eric's back, had dueled wetly with his tongue; mouth glistening and swollen. Kyle was punishing them both because he wanted this.

And now as Eric looked down at the redhead he felt nausea creeping through him. He couldn't look at Kyle's shame any longer. Roughly he shoved Kyle over onto his stomach, keeping his head against the floor with a heavy hand. A small sound made it out of Kyle's mouth before he swallowed it, returning to silence.

Frowning at the gracefully bowed back, Eric made a decision. He would gratify Kyle's guilt; really give him something to be ashamed of.

When the heavy cock pressed him, slicked up with the lube Cartman had started carrying regularly, Kyle flinched. He'd expected fingers first. Opening his mouth, his voice was stolen when Cartman wrapped both big hands around Kyle's slim hips and yanked. Splintering pain ripped up his back and he cried into the floor, blinking rapidly as black stars scattered his vision. Red tinged the edges of his gaze and Kyle jerked bodily when Cartman tore at him again, this time breaching his opening and stretching him to the breaking point. The lube was thick and dribbling down his skin, thankfully soothing an otherwise tortuous burn. A flame of grotesque curiosity lit within Kyle and he breathed deeply, waiting. Cartman had always had a thing for looking at his face. Kyle figured it made him feel like he was his or something. Maybe he thought that if his face loomed over Kyle while he fucked him then maybe he would forget about Stan. It was no secret the distance between the two so-called super-best friends had been fraying.

The redhead had gone still, only a minor tremor tingling along the pale skin hugging his aching cock. It was nestled in between two perfectly round ass cheeks, Kyle's opening gripping him like a spasming vice. Thighs like two marble pillars were streaked with lube, his beautiful back arched down to the floor, sweat a veil of humanness over him. His jacket still encased his arms, twisted by Eric into a thin band that cut the flawless stretch of skin. The crown of red curls tumbled down to hide his face and Eric imagined shivering lips kissing the floorboards by proxy, shining lashes brushing the ground like bare breath. His beauty was undeniable. Eric wanted, yearned. The anger that held him in sway mixed lethally with the heady cocktail of his emotions. Without warning he slammed his hips down into Kyle, grunting with the effort to break into his tight passage. He pushed and twisted; wringing whimpers and gasps from the redhead, until his balls were up against the searing skin of Kyle's ass. All the way inside, he could feel every heartbeat every race of breath. Despite the unnerving silence, Kyle was alive beneath him.

When Cartman started to move Kyle grinded his teeth audibly, tiny diamond tears clinging to his lashes. The level of sensitivity was painful and the stabs of pleasure were razor sharp. His knees ached with Cartman's weight on his back. The hardwood floor was unforgiving, biting into his joints and bruising his cheekbone as Cartman knocked him against it with each thrust. He felt splayed open, sullied. Any semblance of intimacy had been stripped. He was confused, the normal guilt blossoming into an uglier shade. Kyle didn't want it like this. It was making him sick.

Eric was losing himself. He was bent low over Kyle's back, rutting into him like an animal. The sound was filthy, the twist of Kyle's supine body erotic as Eric laid claim to him in strained, violent silence. His mouth was hovering over the back of Kyle's neck, catching the flavor of the boy's sweat, of his tangible fatigue. But Eric didn't lighten up; he only worked him harder. The thump of Kyle's knees lifting then smashing back into the floor as Eric fucked him was intoxicating. He thrust faster, hands leaving finger-shaped bruises like smudges of dark paint. But those marks weren't enough. Brown eyes were focused on Kyle's neck, white and soft beneath the silky cover of red tresses. This time he wanted them to see.

He screamed and kicked when teeth sunk deep into his neck hard enough to break skin. The panic didn't derive from the pain; it came from the fear of anyone seeing. They'd see, they'd know. He snarled into the floor as Cartman put his full weight on him, his cock still pistoning in and out with an unbroken pattern. Kyle felt it punching his insides, the pleasure and his outrage a heady mix that made him dizzy.

Blood coated his tongue, sharp and metallic. Kyle was thrashing around like a wild animal, only managing to impale himself further on Eric's cock in the process. With his arms still effectively bound he could just writhe and growl while Eric bit down even harder, eyes flashing with dark light as Kyle gasped with finality and seized up with pain. He took advantage, drawing out almost to the tip before thrusting in with an audible clap of skin on skin, repeating the motion until Kyle cried out and collapsed beneath him. He kept the ruthless pace, drawing away to wipe the blood from his lips with a shaking hand. Kyle was sprawled out across the floor, legs spread at a painful angle while Eric continued his onslaught. Untangling the jacket, Eric ripped Kyle's arms free and held them down above his head, lording over him; his cock now the only thing touching Kyle; inside of him, ripping him apart.

He felt disconnected, in shock. Kyle could feel the slip of blood on his knees, the sting of the bite at his neck. As a cruel joke an oily twist of pleasure forced a grunt from him when Cartman hit his prostate, angling his hips to find it on every thrust. The terrible agony of arousal tromped through his system despite it all, forcing him to arch weakly back. Then thick fingers shoved into his mouth, forcing it open. Saliva threaded down his chin, joining the messy wetness of the tears continuing to mottle his vision. Cartman ripped his face to the side, pushing choking fingers in deeper until Kyle gagged. A toiling, churning set of brown eyes trapped him in their gaze and Kyle scratched with his free hand at the painful grip that still held one arm down. He didn't want Cartman looking at him. Not like this. He moaned brokenly around the other boy's fingers as Cartman rubbed tortuously against his prostate. Finally he shook his head, pulling Cartman's fingers from his mouth.

And for the first time words rose above their straining bodies, "Finish, Cartman. Finish!"

He wrapped his arm around Kyle's throat. "Then say you want me. Admit it."

A vein of hysteria wound through his eyes and Kyle writhed. "Just finish!"

"Fine," he snapped. "I'll finish inside your tight ass. Then later when you meet up with Stan you'll still feel me inside you." His words were breathy, threadbare as he raced towards climax, hips snapping at impossible speeds. Kyle was still struggling underneath him, face a mess of tears, sweat, and saliva as red clung everywhere. "You don't want to admit to this," he husked cruelly against the side of Kyle face, "Because that would mean admitting you've lost him." He hissed as Kyle clawed at his arm still tightened across his throat. "He'd never forgive you for this dirty secret." Kyle was bucking underneath him, panting loudly, brow knit with frustration as he both fought and fucked back. "He'd never forgive that he isn't enough for you anymore-" Gasping brokenly, he came hard up inside of Kyle, clutching the smaller boy to him with an unbreakable grip for a few seconds before laying his hand over Kyle's erection and fisting him. Kyle fought him, trying to push him off, but Eric didn't let up until the redhead was writhing against him grimly, cum spattering his stomach and chest.

They separated, Kyle gasping for breath on all fours as Cartman zipped up his jeans. The redhead was shaking all over, blood smeared under his knees where the floor broke skin and drying unevenly around the bite on his neck. It was already flanked by blackish bruising, mirroring those on his hips. Green eyes cut over a pale shoulder, red-rimmed and bloodshot with tears. Slumping to the side, Kyle wiped his mouth slowly. He didn't move when Cartman appeared at his side, holding his jacket. Slipping it on wordlessly, Kyle zipped it up and began to work his jeans over his legs. The drying cum across his stomach already itched, and his ass stung. Cartman stood over him and Kyle could feel his eyes like fingers running along his skin.

"I hate this," he said. This time his voice was hollow. "But I can't stop."

Touching the soft curls on Kyle's head, Eric pretended he didn't see him flinch.