E-MAIL: paravati@optonline.net

STATUS: Work in Progress

CATEGORY: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Daniel/Janet




SUMMARY: DISCLAIMERS: Stargate SG-1 and its characters are the property of Showtime/Viacom, MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, and Gekko Productions. We have written this story for entertainment purposes only and no money whatsoever has exchanged hands. No copyright infringement is intended. The original characters, situations, and story are the property of the authors. Not to be archived without permission of the authors.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Daniel has to finish the game without Janet or his teammates at his side

The Beginning

SG-2 had made initial contact with this technologically advanced planet over five months ago. The people of Nuzar had a recently discovered an abundant supply of naquadah and had technology advanced enough that both Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter were drooling. Even better, rumor had it that these people played well with others and as an added plus, there wasn't a Goa'uld in sight.

The governing council of the planet had visited SGC and met with various people from Senators all the way to the President. Numerous times SG teams and government officials had traveled to Nazur. While the governing council seemed to tolerate the United States officials, they were "infatuated" with Dr. Daniel Jackson. The Nuzarians spoke English, so it wasn't a language barrier it was just Daniel, his mannerisms, his curiosity, and his humanity. It was their attachment to Daniel that prompted the President to commission Daniel to continue working with the council to draw up a finalized agreement. The Nuzarians took it one step further; they were very vocal in their insistence to have only Dr. Jackson and their planet's representatives work on this agreement. Although Daniel had done this before, the magnitude of this agreement and the fact that he was shouldering this responsibility solo did not leave him any type of comfort zone. Daniel had a few choice words for this new job of his; however, his objections fell on deaf ears. So Daniel had lost, and had worked himself into a state of exhaustion to get to the step where they were at this moment…the final stages of acceptance. Everyone who had their hands in this pot and even those that had opposed the Stargate Project were breathing down General Hammond's neck to push this treaty through as fast as possible.

General Hammond looked at the rectangular table in his briefing room. You could barely make out the shined surface of the table, it was covered with papers and discarded coffee cups. Two of the council members were listening to Dr. Jackson's breakdown of the agreement. General Hammond looked at Dr. Jackson and sighed. The "kid" looked like he was about to keel over. The dark smudges under his eyes and the manner in which he rubbed them under his glasses were testament to Dr. Jackson's exhaustion. While the rest of the SGC and the US government were in a party mode, for the past weeks Daniel had been working night and day holed up in his office hammering out this agreement. If anyone deserved a vacation when it was over it was Daniel. General Hammond could only imagine when the last time the good doctor had a decent night's sleep or a full meal that didn't consist of coffee as the main course.

General Hammond was awoken from his reverie by the activity at the briefing table. The council members, Ular and Cial were standing shaking Daniel's hand. The two approached General Hammond with Daniel following.

It was agreed that the treaty would be brought back to Nuzar for presentation to the high council and SGC would be contacted in three weeks time regarding acceptance.

Daniel went back to the table and started to gather up his paperwork. Done…he was actually done with this treaty for three weeks time…it sounded good just saying the word. 'God he was tired', Daniel stretched and rubbed his eyes under his glasses. Dropping his paperwork back on the desk and flopping down in one of the rolling chairs that surrounded the desk, Daniel's thoughts were rambling and he jumped as someone touched his shoulder.

"Hi buddy" Jack said squeezing Daniel's shoulder. "What's going on?"

Daniel looked up at Jack through bleary eyes", Nothing", he said pulling himself into a standing position. "Just having a major pity party".

Jack gave Daniel a concerned look, "Why. The General has the biggest shit-eating grin on his face as he accompanied our two friends to the Stargate. And as far as I can tell you done good".

"Yeah, but I ran out of energy"…Daniel picked up a coffee cup and swallowed the last of the cold coffee. "and ran out of coffee".

"My treat..dinner, coffee. Whatta say", the older man placed his arm around Daniel's shoulders.

"Coffee, home, bed, sleep…" Daniel said stifling a yawn.

"Which home are you going to you little slut". Jack said laughing. Mine, yours, Kel-no-reem with Teal'c or Janet's. I wonder if Sam is starting to get jealous she seems to be left out of the loop."

Daniel gave Jack a sideways glance and snickered "How do you know what was going on when I stayed overnight at the mountain".

"Oh, Oh, time to take the archeologist out for coffee, he is becoming delusional. So answer my question…"

Picking up his papers, Daniel answered like Jack had asked the world's stupidest question, "Janet's, but first Starbucks".

Friday Evening (Three Weeks Later):

The halls of SGC were quiet and Daniel' footsteps echoed in the nearly empty corridors. Checking his watch, he knew it was late but had finally gotten up the nerve to speak to General Hammond. He had waited until Jack and Sam had left the base. Teal'c was in a state of Kel-no-reem, and on Monday, Janet would be reinstated as CMO of the SGC. His confinement to base due to illness had stretched out longer than anyone had thought. Reaching the General's office door he knocked.

"Come in".

Daniel closed his eyes and took a deep breath before entering the office of General Hammond.

The General glanced up, a look of surprise on his face when he noticed who was standing in his doorway. He smiled at Daniel and motioned for the young man to take the seat opposite him.

"Son, it's late. Everything okay". The General berated himself for that question. How could everything be okay? Daniel was just getting over a serious illness and was confined to base, his significant other while contributing to Daniel's illness was prohibited from stepping foot on the base and the Nuzarians requested SG-1's presence off world in less than three days for the finalization of the agreement. So in the scheme of Dr. Jackson's life, Janet and he would be like two ships passing in the night.

Daniel smiled a small smile that didn't reach his eyes and sat in the proffered chair across from the desk. He sat with his shoulders slumped and his eyes downcast. His hands in his lap picked at an invisible string from his military green pants. The two people sat that way in silence for a number of minutes until General Hammond asked gently "Dr. Jackson, you needed to see me".

Daniel looked up at General Hammond, and in shock the General came to the realization how absolutely destitute Dr. Jackson looked. "General Hammond, I just need to tell you something. Something that you need to know." Daniel closed his eyes and rubbed his hands up and down his thighs. He leaned forwarded, staring at the General and quietly started his story. "When SG-2 first encountered the Nuzarians, everyone, the President, the Pentagon, Joint Chiefs of Staff, SGC, even myself took it at face value how this technologically advanced planet wanted to share with earth. There would have been a time not that long ago when I would have questioned their motives. But you know something, General, I was too tired too weary of everything, maybe I changed more than I would like to admit. I felt like everyone else, it was time things went our way, maybe we felt we deserved it, and maybe we all are just tired. No one wanted to question, hell I guess we didn't want to know the answer why this culture was willing to share when all the other more advanced cultures we met never shared, they taunted us with their advancements, dangled it like a carrot on a string, but never shared.

General Hammond opened his mouth to protest; but Daniel threw up his hands and pleaded, "Think General, really think, except for a number of technically more advance strides in medicine and our iris..why did they take such an interest in us?"

General Hammond sat back in his chair waiting for the answer.

"Me," Daniel hung his head…"their interest was..is in me".

General Hammond voice conveyed his disbelief "Dr. Jackson, don't you think your self worth is a little exaggerated?"

Daniel shook his head in response and jumped up from the chair. He wrapped his arms around his torso and started to pace the room. "I wish it was that, that would be so easy. But I think I woke up a little too late. The treaty was already being worked on; my back was against the wall. The last time I returned from Nuzar, I contacted the Tok'ra and spoke to Anise myself. I questioned her about the Nuzarians and she acknowledged that they were known to the Tok'ra but she had never known them to share technology. I pushed and pushed and that is as far as she would answer me…Anise didn't allude to anything..which made me all the more suspicious."

General Hammond started to open his mouth, he did not like the way this was going.

"I know, I know", Daniel sat back down in the chair. "Looking back now it was 20/20 hindsight that I should have shared my concerns with someone, anyone. I did all of this on my own, no one else seemed interested, they were only interested in what we receiving not what was going to be given. I approached Selmak, or rather Jacob, and appealed to his fatherly instincts. But

Surprisingly, I received my answer from Selmak. It seems that the Nuzarians had been approached by hundreds of different races to share their technology, but their negotiations never got out of the starting gate. With earth it was different, we seem to be making it all the way to the finish line."

"That is a bad thing because…" General Hammond ventured, completely lost at the turn in the conversation.

"Well you know something General, in actuality is not a bad thing for anyone but me."

"Finish, Dr. Jackson, just finish".

He took a deep breath and continued. "About two days after the Nuzarians brought the agreement back to their planet for presentation to their high counsel; they contacted me discretely. They believed I should be aware of what awaited me should the Nuzarians decide to accept the treaty. You see General, while this treaty is written in words, the Nuzarians culture is based on the belief that actions speak louder than words. Let me tell you, they have not been too impressed with the actions of Earth in the past few months. So much so, that they had all intentions of breaking off talks with us. But somewhere in the midst of negotiations, they decided that I should represent Earth. They believed earth only needed one fair and equitable man to make them willing to their share their technology. They are of the belief that I am that fair and equitable man. My character will be the one that will…my actions will be what to tips the scales on whether the Earth will benefit from their advanced technology. Technology that up until three weeks ago, no one was privy to. The items that the Nuzarians had first shown us were just the tip of the iceberg. What they showed me was breathtaking. I know there is no room for failure."

The General could see that Daniel was in danger of losing any composure that he possessed at this point in time. "Go-ahead son, I'm all ears".

"I am going to be walking the gangplank when I go through that Stargate on Monday. I do not know what awaits me on the other side except that is some type of test. If they do not judge me worthy, the treaty will be lost. If they deem me "worthy" the agreement will be honored."

"Dr. Jackson…." General Hammond wanted to go the last step in this conversation. "What about you?"

Daniel met his eyes and produced a little half smile He swallowed audibly and shrugged his shoulders. "The Nuzarians alluded to the fact that when I return it possibly may not be in the same condition I walked through the Stargate. What they did tell me was that I would be returned here…back home. Whether I passed the test or not. Whether I was breathing or not." With shaking hands, Daniel nervously rubbed his eyes. "And to borrow a quote from Star Trek 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' or in this case 'the one'."

General Hammond started to speak, but Daniel put his hand up to stop him and continued,"

General Hammond, any attempt to rescue me or accompany me will be in violation of this test and will nullify the treaty. Please heed the fact that theoretically, any type of rescue attempt is nonexistent. Please, do not try anything that will put the treaty in danger, I…we worked too hard for this. I'm tired and exhausted and I just want this over with. "

"Dr. Jackson, you inferred that the treaty would not be ratified if someone accompanied you…are you telling me that you are to make this journey alone. Without the remainder of your team?'

Daniel just shook his head yes. He knew that this was going to be the hardest for General Hammond to understand.

"We will not permit you to go, we will scrub the mission," General Hammond stammered. For the first time in his life, he had no options and was grasping at straws.

Daniel laughed a hollow laugh; "I would be a dead man walking. There is no way Washington would allow that; the NID would permit it…or myself. I've only succeeded in one thing in my life. Opening the Stargate. I've lost my parents, Sha're, Sarah.hell …Nick and even Shifu slipped through my fingers. I don't want to lose this too. "

General Hammond was speechless. He could not comprehend that Dr. Jackson still felt that way after all his years with SGC. All the various cultures the earth had built relationships with were due primarily to his ability to make first contact. Dr. Jackson would never see himself for his gains only for his losses. The General shook his head "Dr. Jackson, do your teammates know?"

Daniel genuinely laughed at that question, "Could you see me telling Jack...Colonel O'Neill. Think of me every time you use that big honkin' space gun." He got serious again. "No. Well actually, the only person besides you who knows is Teal'c, and believe me that is not a conversation I would like to have again.

The Nuzarians only want me there. And even though I would prefer not to be alone, we need to abide by their rules. Teal'c is already is aware of this. The idea of not accompanying me was the hardest to get across to him. SG-1 will not be aware of my actual departure time. Keep the briefing time at 0930 and departure at 1100." Daniel hung his head and when he looked up at the General he had a look of resolve that he had never seen before. "I will have been long gone, my departure time will be 0530. Actually that will be easier for me, I do not want to say goodbye to them. I can't. General Hammond, I do need a favor though."


"I need to see Janet. Now…Not that I will tell her before I leave. I just need to be with her. I know you warned me that I wasn't permitted to bring up our relationship again in this office, but please make an exception. Dr. Warner hasn't cleared me to go until tomorrow afternoon; I want to go tonight. Please give me your permission, …let me spend some time with her and Cassie."

"That was easy..permission granted."

Quietly Hammond asked, "Will this all be worth it. Do you see any possibility of an Aschen type of long range effect?"

"No, they are a good people with no ulterior motives. This is just their culture, their way of life. Their belief…don't let the SGC fault them for that."

"It would seem I do not have a choice in this matter, do I Dr. Jackson? Dr. Jackson?

"No sir," Daniel answered in a barely audible voice.

Daniel's head was bent, General Hammond had never seen him so still…he was always filled with nervous energy. "Daniel". Daniel looked up in surprise, he did not believe that he had ever heard the General address him by his first name. "Daniel, you have my permission to leave now. Stop by the infirmary and let Dr. Warner you are leaving. If he has any problems, he can call me."

Daniel stood up and nodded his head in the General's direction. "Thank you sir". Daniel turned and left the room.

General Hammond gazed at his office door for a long while after Dr. Jackson had departed his office. He made no move to wipe the tears that had fallen from his eyes.

The phone rang, waking Janet out of a nightmare filled sleep. Looking at the clock, she smiled. 'Daniel's good night call'. "Hello, Daniel".

"Do me a favor, open the front door, I forgot my key", he said laughing into his cell phone.

Janet jumped out of bed slamming the phone down. She ran to the door, flinging it open, she literally jumped into Daniel's arms. Laughing, she covered his face with kisses. Cassie had come to see what the noise was and was standing in the doorway rubbing her sleep filled eyes and yawning. "Superman"..she screamed throwing herself at him.

'How am I going to be able to leave this…" Daniel thought morbidly. Then he pushed those thoughts away admonishing himself. He would not allow those thoughts to take up residence in his mind.

"Let's go in the house, the neighbors are starting to become suspicious." Daniel awkwardly bent down to pick up the duffel bag at his feet and managed to walk through the door with both Janet and Cassie clinging to him.

The threesome moved to the kitchen, where he deposited them both by the kitchen table.

"What are you doing here Daniel, I thought Dr. Warner wasn't clearing you until tomorrow? Janet's eyes were assessing Daniel's medical condition.

Daniel smiled and shrugged his shoulders, "I guess General Hammond felt bad for me wandering the halls and sighing." Daniel looked at Janet and Cassie looking up and him. "Go get dressed Cassie, I am going to convince you mother to go out to eat I'm starving."

"It's late, Janet countered. "Daniel…it's 11:00".

"Janet, come on, tomorrow's Saturday, we'll sleep in." He pointed to Cassie, "Hurry and get dressed…I'm starving".

As soon as Cassie left the kitchen, Daniel bent down to Janet. He wrapped his arms around her legs and laid his head in her lap. "God I missed holding you."

Janet closed her eyes to stop the tears from falling. Janet had never thought Daniel to be a physically demonstrative person. Jack had broken through some of his shell and Daniel would tolerate an occasional hug from his teammates. But towards Janet, she believed that sometimes Daniel's actions were so childlike and needy in their intensity that they frightened her. It didn't matter if they were sleeping, walking or talking, Daniel touched Janet almost like he was reassuring himself that she was still there. His actions spoke of a depth to the man she wasn't sure she could handle. She ran her fingers through his hair, uttering quietly, "I missed you".

Daniel stood up pulling Janet up out of the chair. "We are a great pair. Sometimes I think we are like lovesick teenagers rather than an adults."

Janet pulled Daniel down to her and kissed him long and hard, leaving him breathless. She smiled "Let's go for dinner, you and I can have dessert later".

She left him alone in the kitchen while she went to dress and he slowly paced the room. He placed his hands under his armpits to quell their shaking. He closed his eyes and did some deep breathing to banish the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.

After dinner, lying in bed wrapped in Daniel's arms; Janet was always amazed at the passion that was Daniel's makeup. His passion for his belief and his work carried over into their lovemaking. She smiled in the dark and curled closer to him.

"Janet, are you awake?" Daniel murmured.


"I have to tell you something…"

Janet started to turn around to face him.

"No..please don't." Holding her tightly in the spooned position. "I have to say this and it makes it much easier not facing you." He took a breath and continued "SG-1 is leaving the day you go back to SGC, the Nuzarians contacted to let us know. He couldn't bring himself to tell her the rest, he wouldn't tell any of them before he left.

Daniel started kissing Janet's hair. "I'm sorry, you're returning and I'm..we're leaving, please don't be angry…".

Janet took a few minutes before answering. "I'm not angry, Daniel." This time he allowed her to turn so they faced each other. She touched his cheek. "I love you Daniel…but I knew the nature of the beast when I fell in love with you. This isn't like a business trip to meet a client or sell a product; I know what is at stake here. Do I wish you weren't going? I would be lying if I said no. Would I love to rant and rave and get angry? Damn straight I would. But the only thing that will do will be to take time away from us before you leave. I won't even ask when you are coming home. I don't want to know the answer. Just remember that I love you and that porch light will be kept burning until you are back in this bed."

Daniel took Janet's hand caressing his cheek and kissed it. She turned back around to resume their previous position. Daniel pulled her in closer and moved her hair from neck and kissed the exposed skin gently. "I love you Janet" he whispered in her ear. Closing their eyes, they succumbed to sleep.


"Wake up sleepy head…Come on…get up".

'What is that annoying bouncing on the bed. Janet knows better than to wake me up like that without a cup of coffee in her hand'. Daniel went to pull the pillow over his head, only to have it grabbed and thrown off the bed. He attempted to open one eye, only to be assaulted with bright sunshine in the bedroom. He slammed his eye shut and felt on Janet's side of the bed. 'Well she bailed out'…then Daniel realized he heard the shower running. Mystery solved. But who was bouncing on the bed. Groaning, he opened both eyes…'Cassie. Maybe it was better when she hated him'.

"What could you possibly want this early in the morning?"

"Early, early, are you crazy…it's 11:30 time to get up".

"If I pay you money, will you leave me alone…" Daniel begged.

"No.." Cassie was laughing sitting on the bed. "Oh by the way, Jack, Teal'c and Sam are on their way over. Something about a barbecue".

"Does your mother know this".

"Sure that is why she is in the shower".

"Tell me I have to get up and get dressed".


"Did they call…is that why we know they are coming for a barbecue?"

"No, silly. No, when they found out that you were released last night, they came by really early to go for breakfast and I told them you guys were still sleeping. So of course Jack had to see for himself. The comment 'so cute' comes to mind." Cassie said giggling and glancing at Daniel's expression, "My friend Ali was right, you turn a wonderful shade of red when you get embarrassed".

"Cassie you are an evil, evil girl. Leave so I can shower and dress. Go call Dominic and ask him to come over today".

"Already did".

"Go clean the house".

"Already did"

"I don't believe it".

"I didn't but it is so much more fun to annoy you."

"Cassie, leave Daniel alone" Janet said when she exited the bathroom.

"Oh mom, you're no fun. Daniel you should know Jack paid me money to bother you. But I would have done it for nothing." She leaned over and gave Daniel a gentle kiss on the cheek and left the room.

"Feels good, huh 'dad' " Janet asked smiling.

Daniel was actually speechless. "Umm…I think I'll shower and dress, looks like we have company for the day."

"Looks like it". Janet said walking over to the bed and kissing Daniel. He grabbed her and brought her down onto the bed. "How soon before they show up", he murmured.

"Hey you guys," Cassie yelled in a singsong voice from the bedroom door. "Don't do that in front of the child."

Janet broke off the embrace and looked at Daniel laughing, "Cassie's friend is right you do turn a wonderful shade of red when embarrassed."

Daniel grabbed his clothes in a huff, walked to the bathroom door and slammed it shut. Janet and Cassie broke out laughing.

Later that afternoon, Daniel was sitting on a chair watching Jack manhandle the barbecue. He smiled, feeling himself relax for the first time in a long time. 'I need to learn how to appreciate the times like these…the times when moments are made into memories.' He closed his eyes lost in thoughts and started to drift off to sleep when he heard Jack call his name. " Danny, hey Danny." Daniel opened and eyes and leaned forward in the chair trying to discern what Jack was saying to him. 'Something about two…he was holding up two fingers and smiling. Something about the treaty…oh shit, two days before we leave'. Reality came crashing down on Daniel and he quickly excused him and rushed into the house to the bathroom and promptly threw up. He washed his face and rinsed his mouth before exiting the bathroom and he ran straight into….Teal'c.

"Umm, Teal'c can I help you".

"No DanielJackson, can I help you."

"With what Teal'c".

"I do not know DanielJackson, why don't you tell me".

Daniel looked at Teal'c and shrugged. "I will be okay".

Teal's placed his hand on Daniel's chest "It is not you I am worried about".

"Thanks…just watch over everyone for me, okay".

"I could do no less".

"You are a good friend".

"As are you. Let us go outside, they are calling".

The rest of the day passed wonderfully. The early incident pushed to the recesses of Daniel's mind. He caught Teal'c occasionally glancing in his direction, but returned the look with a smile and Teal'c nodded in acknowledgement. At dusk, they moved the gathering inside and much to Daniel's dismay, Jack brought the conversation around to the treaty. Carter joined in and then Janet started discussing the planet's advances in science and research. Teal'c kept shooting Daniel looks of concern, but Daniel was oblivious. All he was aware of was the roaring in his ears and the seemingly ever present sick feeling in his stomach.

"Daniel…hello Daniel", Sam placed a hand on Daniel's knee to gain in attention. "Daniel are you okay?"

"Oh yea, Sam", Daniel said a little angrier than he meant to "Just really tired of discussing this whole subject matter." And he reiterated the words that he had said to General Hammond the previous day "I just want it to be over and done with". He leaned back on the couch rubbing his eyes. "Sorry".

"It's okay Danny, we understand…but just think of all the fun things we can play with if the treaty…"

"Colonel.." Sam said making eye contact and then shifting her glance over to Daniel.

"Right, sorry".

Daniel abruptly got up and asked "Anybody for coffee?"

He walked into the kitchen to put up a fresh pot of coffee, grabbed a mug and turned around to find himself almost face to face with Jack. "Jack?"



"I don't know Daniel, problem? What was that all about out there?"

Leaning back on the counter, Daniel looked down at the floor. "Nothing".

With an exasperated sigh, Jack countered "Daniel, the display in the living room is not nothing. Something is not right".

"Maybe you are absolutely right Jack, maybe there is something not right." Daniel's voice raising in pitch. Daniel ran his hand through his hair. "God, I'm tired. I've lost my way, Jack, something I promised myself I would never do when I joined this program. In one fell swoop, the military have taken away my sense of me. Of what makes me…well me. This treaty should have never rested only my shoulders. But no one wanted to listen to my misgivings, no one watched out for me. No one was paying attention, they were all too excited over the offerings. Not what, let me rephrase that, WHO was being sacrificed to get them." Daniel had definitely entered pity party mode and he was inviting everyone he knew.

At that point, Jack had the good grace to look ashamed. Daniel continued quietly, " I'm tired of the military holding me hostage. I just want my life back the way it was. The SGC, you, Sam, Teal'c", Daniel lifted his head meeting Jack's eyes, " Janet, Cassie, archeology, languages, traveling through the Stargate, searching for new cultures. Those things were my life, my choice. I know the SGC is military, but the majority of time the people who I worked closely… I had a voice. Now, I am nothing, just an end to the means." Daniel took the empty coffee cup he was holding and threw it against the wall, shattering it.

Janet went to get up but Teal'c restrained her with just a glance.

Jack looked from Daniel to the shattered cup on the floor. "Feel better?"

"No, I mean yes, oh shit…I don't know what I mean. God Jack, I just want it done and over." Daniel scrubbed his hands over his face and exhaled loudly.

"Colonel, is everything okay in there."

"Yeah, Carter, Daniel's just letting us know that the coffee is ready."

Daniel met Jack's eyes and smiled. "I'm sorry, and thanks".

"Daniel, no need for sorry… and Daniel, when this is over, I think a lot of people are going to have to 'thank you' to one overworked, exhausted archeologist. And I think you warrant another vacation," Jack said affectionately.

"I don't want a vacation Jack, I don't want any thank you…I just want things to go back to the way they were".

Daniel went to pick up the pieces of the shattered cup. Janet went into the kitchen, standing behind Daniel she glanced in the Colonel's direction. He shrugged his shoulders and gave a half smile. Janet bent down next to Daniel putting an arm around his shoulders.

"Sorry Janet, I guess I lost my temper", Daniel said sheepishly.

Janet didn't answer, but her worry for this mission just increased a notch. She had seen the looks Teal'c had been giving Daniel all day. She just kissed his cheek. "Don't cut yourself Daniel, I don't go back to work until Monday." In response Daniel just rested his head on Janet's shoulder.

"Mom, hey guys." Cassie said entering the kitchen with Dominic. "I rented this movie from the video store. We gotta watch it tonight. I started to watch it at Dominic's house, but I made him bring me back here to watch it together…It reminds me of someone."

Sam took it out of her hands. "Atlantis…Cassie this is a Disney movie."

"I know, but wait." Cassie took in the bored looks of everyone in the kitchen. "Come on, its only ninety minutes long. Spare me ninety minutes of your time. Believe me….don't make me whine".

"Believe me…you don't want her to whine…" Daniel smiled in her direction.

They took their coffee into the living room and settled to watch the movie. Within minutes, Jack started to laugh when Teal'c said "DanielJackson…did you sell your life story to this Disney person".

Daniel sat with his hands over his face for the majority of the movie. Jack was having a field day with the comments…and he had a captive audience. Jack looked in Daniel's direction 'a little bit better, he looks a little better'."

"Cassie…." Daniel said…"your days are truly numbered".

Daniel leaned against the door lost in thought. Everyone had just left, the movie being a strange culmination to the day. 'Today had been like a roller coaster ride, with its ups and downs, but I guess that is what being with family is all about'.

"We have wonderful friends, " Janet said walking up to Daniel and hugging him.

"Why because they helped us clean the mess or because Janet took Cassie overnight and for breakfast tomorrow so we could be alone?"

Janet didn't answer but jumped when Daniel stepped forward suddenly grabbing her upper arms. He actually scared her with the roughness of his move, but the look in his eyes spoke of other emotions.

Janet placed her hands on Daniel's arms. "Daniel?"

"I started something awhile ago that I never got to finish. I want it now."

Even though Janet knew that Daniel would never hurt her, the gruffness in his voice upset her.

"Come on…" Daniel said tugging Janet by the arm. He dragged her into the kitchen...and he sat her on the kitchen counter.

"Remember, Janet. This seems like such a long time ago. Just when Cassie came home…before the treaty...you know." Daniel asked as he started to unbutton Janet's shirt.

"I remember Daniel" Janet said shivering in anticipation as Daniel placed butterfly kisses on her neckline. 'I remember Daniel, the time when our hardest worry was Cassie, not the treaty, you being sick. Just wanting to be a family'. "But if I remember correctly you had no shirt on" Janet laughed in the record time Daniel removed his shirt.

"You had no pants…." Daniel murmured, helping Janet remove her pants, letting them fall on the floor next to his shirt. "You had your legs…Mmm, that's right" Daniel replied as Janet wrapped her legs around Daniel's bare back. "Now where were we, before we were so rudely interrupted…."

Being alone in the house gave Janet and Daniel a freedom they had never experienced. They knew that evening there would be no ringing of phones or beeping from SGC or friends or Cassie or medical emergencies that required Dr. Fraiser's immediate attention. With that freedom came the ability to experience each other without the worry of the immediate world barging in. In the time that passed no one existed but the two of them. Not the SGC, not Washington, the NID, SG-1, the Nuzarians, hell with a little pang of guilt, even Cassie. The only people that went to bed with Janet and Daniel this night was them. They only people on their minds when they made love that night, was them. It was a novel and wonderful experience. The only problem was that morning came much too soon and the outside world again re- entered their life when Janet woke up alone in bed.

"Daniel" she called quietly. Quickly glancing at the clock…early. Grabbing her robe, Janet went in search of Daniel. She found him sitting on a lounge chair on the back porch, fully dressed with his eyes closed. Quietly closing the sliding glass doors behind her she stepped onto the porch. She stood behind his sleeping form, leaning over she kissed the top of his head and ran her hands over his chilled forearms. "Daniel", she said louder "Wake up".

He opened his eyes, bending his head backwards. Catching sight of Janet he smiled yawned. Grabbing his hand, she pulled him into the house. He stood against the counter rubbing his arms, trying to bring heat into his body. Janet started the coffee. Standing in front of Daniel she untucked his shirt from his pants and placed her warm arms around him. Daniel pulled her towards him.

"Daniel what were you doing, fully dressed, sleeping outside at 8:30 in the morning"

"I completely forget that I promised Dr. Warner that I would come in to let him take preliminary blood tests before I…we left tomorrow for Nuzar. He needed it to be a fasting test, so I couldn't have any coffee or breakfast, so I figured the earlier the better." Daniel yawned again. "So I did the blood thing, took care of some things and ran into General Hammond."

"But Daniel, why were you outside?"

"Oh, forgot my cell phone to call and I didn't want to wake you by knocking. I figured you would eventually miss me. I wasn't out there long."

She poured Daniel and herself coffee and passed the mug to him. The look of pleasure on his face when he inhaled the coffee fumes made Janet smile. He looked down at Janet with a hint of sadness. "I argued with General Hammond. I can't stay the night here. I have to be on base for some last minute meetings with some suits from Washington. They win again. I'm sorry". Daniel hung his head. "It's okay Daniel". She knew it really wasn't okay but she couldn't add to his guilt. Daniel yawned again. Janet took the coffee mug from him and pointed him in the direction of the bedroom. "Go back to bed".

"With you?"

"No." Janet had her back to Daniel "Don't give me the pout, puppy dog eyes, or the eyelash thing."

"Oh…how did you know?"

"I was you doctor first Daniel. I know all your tricks". Janet turned to him and smiled. "Go back to bed…

Daniel made a move to take her in his arms.

She wriggled free. "NO! Get some sleep." Janet eyed him suspiciously "How much sleep did you actually have last night Daniel?"

Daniel hung his head and mumbled something under this breath.


"Okay, about two hours. Alright. My God, you're worse than Jack. When you fell asleep I realized that I needed to get the blood work done, so I left."

"Daniel…that was like…" Janet said horrified

Putting up his hand to stop he continuing tirade. "I know, I know. I'll go to bed now if you promise me you won't let me sleep the day away. Promise?"

"I promise."

Daniel removed his glasses, placing them on the night table. Yawning he laid down. 'I didn't exactly lie to Janet. I got blood work while I was there and there is a meeting tonight with the suits from Washington. Hammond left the decision up to me. I cannot leave this house tomorrow morning. I won't be able to do it. I can't say goodbye…I can't lie that much. I just needed to take care of some personal things, things I that had to be done in case. In case of what' his subconscious shot back. 'In case you fail? NO…I don't have any room for failure'. He threw his arm across his eyes to hide the flow of tears.

Fifteen minutes later she went to check on him. He was fast asleep, uncovered, sprawled across the whole bed. Janet laughed to herself. When they were in bed together he was next to her, on top of her, if he could he would crawl into her skin with her. She covered him with the blanket and closed the bedroom door.

Daniel awoke with a start a scream dying on his lips. He barely made it to the bathroom in time to throw up what little breakfast he had at SGC this morning. He sank to the bathroom floor cradling his head in his hands. He had lost count of the number of times he had thrown up meals since he began work on this treaty or the number of aspirin he had consumed. His nightmares had returned with a vengeance his ability to recall their contents upon waking nonexistence. Daniel pushed himself off the tile floor, brushed and rinsed his mouth out. He stumbled to the bedroom and threw himself back onto the bed, trying but failing to submit to the weariness he felt.

Back at SGC:

'Shit', Dr. Lyons thought examining this morning's samples of Dr. Jackson's blood. 'I've sold my soul to the devil.' He visibly jumped when the cell phone in his pocket vibrated. Lyons glanced furtively around the lab before answering the phone. "I told you never to call me here".

Ignoring Lyons' warning, the voice asked. "He will be alright? When we come to SGC tonight, he will be healthy…healthy enough to go through the gate?"

Exasperated and with an edge to his voice, Lyons answered "Yes, I've told you countless times yes. He's cured; it wasn't a Band-Aid fix. There are some residual aftereffects, but you were aware of them at the outset and they won't interfere with SG-1's gate travel. Now or in the future."

"Refresh my memories of the problems…Dr. Jackson might have."

"Why are you calling to bother me. We've gone through this over and over again. Insomnia, nausea, headaches…these will all dissipate in time. Why do you risk everything by calling here."

"Because we own you now. Forever and ever. Get that through your head of yours and if I want to call you every minute of every second of every day, I will do it. And you will jump through hoops for me and mine...or you and yours will suffer. Maybe a car accident in that new car you bought, or fire will burn down that new house…it is amazing what you managed to purchase on an Air Force salary. Don't you agree, Dr. Lyons." Without waiting for a response, the party at the end of the phone severed the conversation.

Dr. Lyon's pocketed the phone with shaking hands, glad that no one was around to witness his anxiety. He had been deeply in debt when the NID approached him regarding being their "medical man" on the inside. In the beginning, it had been easy with no occurrence of guilt on his part. A blood sample here, a urinalysis there. The NID played their hand when the incident with Dr. Jackson, the entity and the treaty occurred. The fact that Dr. Fraiser had been removed as CMO had fit right into their hands. She never saw Jackson's blood, never realizing what he had to do to "cure" Dr. Jackson. Dr. Warner drew the blood and let Lyons run the tests, never aware that he falsified readings. Lyons now knew the meaning of guilt as well as the belief that there was no way out of the hole he had dug himself with the aid of the shovels from the NID.

Daniel hadn't been able to return to sleep…and he himself didn't relish revisiting the realm of his nightmares. He stayed in bed, not wishing to provoke the wrath of his doctor. The phone rang somewhere in the house and moments later Janet peeked into the bedroom. A look of irritation skirted across her face when she realized he was up. She sat down on the side of the bed irritation turning to concern. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Yes Doctor, I did".

She smiled as he attempted to pull her down to him. She went willingly whispering in his ear that the phone call was from Sam giving her an hour's warning before bring Cassie home.

"Good friends, we have such good friends" Daniel laughed as he untied the belt to her robe.

"We don't have much time…" Janet started unbuttoning his shirt.


"Dr. Jackson, you live dangerously. Bed is fine", Janet replied leaning in to kiss Daniel.

"Bed is good…"

"I love you Janet", as he kissed her lips, her neck.

"I love you too Daniel, but we are working against the clock here…50 minutes and ticking. Hurry", as she ripped off her nightgown…

"Janet I feel like we are contestants on an old game show called 'Beat the Clock'…"

"Daniel…shut up and pay attention. God, I wonder how Colonel O'Neill deals with you"

"I think the show starred…"

At that point Janet realized the only way to shut up the good doctor was to kiss him.

By the time Cassie walked into the kitchen followed by Sam, Daniel and Janet had dressed, showered and were drinking coffee with a look of complete innocence on their faces.

Cassie took one look around and said "Guys come one you are not fooling anyone…but at least you are fully clothed this time."

Janet nearly spit out her coffee, Sam laughed, and Daniel face took on a wonderful hue of red. Turning to Sam, with hands on hips, Cassie defiantly said "Pay up Sam, I win…I told you I could have Daniel blushing within five minutes of being in the house".

Daniel shook his head looking at Cassie "You are incorrigible. Are you sure you haven't been taking lessons from Jack?"

Cassie laughed "I'll never tell."

Sam joined Daniel and Janet for coffee while Cassie disappeared into her room. Daniel knew that eventually the conversation would turn to tomorrow's departure.

"All ready Daniel?"

Leaning back in his chair Daniel shrugged his shoulders. Quietly he answered, "As ready as I will ever be."

"You'll do great…you always do. Plus SG-1 will be there for backup, we can always force them to sign on the dotted line Daniel."

Daniel didn't even respond, he just hung his head. Sam covered Daniel's hand resting on the table with one of her own. On contact, he lifted his head and gave her a sad smile. Sam reflected a smile back at him. Removing her hand she stood, "Time to take my leave folks. See you at the briefing Daniel and get a good night's sleep".

Daniel met Sam's gaze. "Tomorrow Sam".

Following Sam's departure, Janet asked Daniel what he wanted to do today. His reply "Anything, as long as we are together…actually Janet, let's just stay here."

"Home is the choice then".

"I'm going to cook dinner though. A thoroughly delicious dinner with a decadent dessert."

"Dr. Jackson…I never knew you could cook", Janet replied with a glint in her eye.

"I try to keep it a secret, otherwise everyone would expect me to cook off world, on world and brown bag their lunches", Daniel gave Janet a true smile. Getting up he grabbed her hand; "I have to go to the grocery store first. Come on."

"A man who cooks and shops…oh be still my heart."

As promised Daniel shopped prepared dinner and true to his word, the man showed off his culinary talents. Cassie invited Dominic to dinner, set the table, complete with candles, and her and Dominic helped clean up. The two teenagers had since deserted their adult counterparts and Janet was washing the dishes while Daniel was leaning against the counter drying. Daniel had been very subdued during dessert and had moved into the realm of unresponsive while drying. Janet noticed that he kept glancing at the clock. The phone rang making the two of them jump.

Answering the phone, Janet handed it over to Daniel, mouthing the word "Jack".

"Hi, Jack. No, it's okay. No I don't need a lift in the morning…I'm staying on base tonight…Hammond's orders…last minute meeting with Washington. Yes, I know. Good night Jack. Yes, I promise to get a good night sleep…Good night, see you at the briefing." Daniel laughed "I worry about you too Jack…Breakfast in the commissary…have to go Jack, Janet's getting jealous…Good bye." He hung up the phone smiling. He took a quick glimpse at the clock and the smile disappeared with a sigh. Daniel filled a mug with coffee for himself and one for Janet. He motioned her to sit with him at the table.

"Today was fun".

"Daniel, you shopped and cooked. I know we were together, but fun?"

"I pretended we were just a normal family, doing normal things. Shopping, cooking, eating dinner together. My childhood very rarely consisted of "normal" family interactions and as an adult, my job…for want of a better word…rarely attains a balance of normalcy. So today, in my mind we were just like any other family in the grocery store, in the bakery, in the house doing family things".

Janet couldn't answer him…couldn't make up for the years of heartache he experienced in childhood into adulthood. Silence enveloped them in the kitchen, the only sound the ticking of the clock marking the minutes until Daniel had to leave.

"Daniel", she called softly to gain his attention, "Our group of family and friends…normal we are not. But for a taste of real normal life, would you consider moving in with me and Cassie when you get back?"

"Oh". He swallowed a few times and squeaked out "Cassie?"

Janet laughed at Daniel's reaction "Actually it was her idea."

"I could watch her when you are not here."

"Actually Daniel, I believe she feels it would be the other way around".

Smiling he leaned across the table and kissed her "You want me and all my artifacts, fish, books…me?"

Janet looked at him in bewilderment, Daniel really couldn't understand why someone would want him, love him, want to wake up in the morning next to him. She answered him a little angrier than she intended. "Yes, Daniel, I love you…Cassie loves you…we want you here…with us. A family."

"I love you Janet", Daniel thought a few moments, pinching the bridge of his nose.

Janet waited patiently, drinking her coffee and wondering where Daniel was actually going with this conversation.

"My piano, too?"

Janet laughed, "As long was we don't have to move it ourselves…everything Daniel. We want everything and you too".

Daniel pushed himself off the chair leaned over Janet and kissed the top of her head; "We will have to look for a bigger place, right?"

"My thoughts exactly, I think the piano put us over the edge". She leaned back and he dropped his head to meet her lips.

Janet sensed him rather than saw him look again at the clock. The arms that he held her with stiffened and he whispered "I have to leave".

Janet stood so they faced each other. All those years of being a doctor aided her in keeping her emotions in check. Daniel's state of mind would not handle Janet losing control; particularly due to the fact that Daniel was walking a thin line attempting to rein in his emotions. She could see it in his eyes and body language. Daniel has already entered the "don't touch me, I'm fine" level of thought.

She shadowed him through the house as he gathered up the needed items for his stay on Nuzar.

Daniel put down his duffel bag and gathered Janet in his arms. She placed her head against his chest comforted by his beating heart.

"I report back tomorrow to SGC so l will see you in the morning before you go through the gate. I report back at 0800…you leave later".

'I'll be long gone. I'm a coward, leaving the General and Teal'c to pick up the pieces'. He bent to kiss her head. "You really want my fish and my piano?"


Looking in the rear view mirror as he drove off down the street, he smiled to himself as Janet went inside and turned the porch light on. Even though the sun had not yet set, Daniel knew that Janet would keep that light illuminated until he returned back home.

TBC: End of Part I