A/N: *flails* Why do you people love this so mu~ch? Go read one of my other stories, they're better than this! This story is a pile of elephant feces compared to my others!
On a less confused note, there was a huge time-skip last chapter and I forgot to tell you that you'd be seeing a few flashbacks and a lot of vague references to cover that time. Most of you didn't appear to have realized. To be clear, though:
3D2Y/Sabaody started approximately three and a half years before Naruto and Sasuke graduate, which is about seven months ago for Zoro.
Fr***in' Momochi Zabuza.
Sasuke hadn't reacted much to Naruto's hand earlier, and neither had Naruto himself. Sakura had, but there was a very good reason for that. Sakura hadn't seen someone stabbed like that before, and she hadn't seen so much blood.
Whereas Naruto and Sasuke had already had their Thriller Bark panic attacks over Zoro being unconscious and covered in ridiculous amounts of wounds. Oh, and the Mihawk instance by the restaurant ship. And by the castle island.
Come to think of it, the boys had seen a lot of massive injuries by now.
In any case, they didn't panic during or after the confrontation with the demon brothers.
They didn't panic when Zabu…
Okay, so they panicked a little when Zabuza showed up. Cut them some slack, they were twelve.
At least they had spent years practicing in how to avoid a sword. Maybe not quite a sword that large, but still a sword, and a faster one than Zabuza.
Wait, was Naruto bragging about that? No! They weren't supposed to tell anyone about—!
…Aw, s***. Now Kakashi looked suspicious. Great going, Naruto.
"Naruto, Sasuke." Kakashi was exhausted and lying on the ground, yes, but he was still and elite Jounin, so the two in question didn't really have much say in listening. Or gulping nervously.
"Yes, Kakashi-sensei?" It looked like Naruto was the one answering questions right now. Good, it was his fault this was happening anyway.
"Who taught you how to dodge a sword?" Kakashi's voice was deceptively calm.
…Oh no. Sasuke knew exactly which ploy Naruto was trying to use, and he doubted that be blunt and tactless would work against Kakashi.
"Naruto, there aren't any pirates in Konoha."
"Yes there is! …He has green hair."
Kakashi and Sakura just stared at Naruto, particularly since Sasuke was doing absolutely nothing to rebuke the blond boy's claims.
"Naruto, pirates live out on the ocean. There isn't an ocean near Konoha."
"He's only ever in the forest when he's asleep."
Sasuke felt like slamming his head against something until he gave himself a concussion. Instead, he just buried his head in his hands.
"And dodging Zabuza was easy. He only had one sword, not three."
Sasuke looked up to see Sakura and Kakashi staring at Naruto like he was a madman.
"Zoro has three. He also has a cool bandanna and a haramaki. The haramaki is kind of for old people, but he doesn't look old." Naruto now sounded thoughtful, as if he was speaking to himself, rather than Kakashi.
"Naruto, this isn't funny."
"He also has three earrings that look pretty cool, instead of girly. And one of his swords is cursed, and another is an heirloom from a friend, and the last is an unbreakable sword that he won from a zombie samurai on a haunted island." Naruto had started rambling. Sasuke wasn't quite sure if it was in an attempt to overdose Kakashi with information or just because Naruto had gotten distracted, but it was working… whether there was a goal to be working towards or not.
"Sasuke-kun? Could you tell us the truth, since Naruto's being—"
"I'll introduce you to him when we get back to Konoha."
This wasn't possible. How the h*** could the Dobe have managed to distract Zabuza by talking about his sword and then making overcompensation jokes for nearly ten straight minutes? Of course, then Zabuza decided that yes, he really was going to kill the kid, even if the kid knew a lot more about swords than he should have.
Wait, what was that crowd at the end of the bridge behind Zabuza and his apprentice?
…Stalling actually worked this time?
Zoro looked up as he heard the sound of footsteps coming through the forest.
"Hey, Zoro? Something happened and—ah!" Naruto had just come out of the bracken, and had apparently noticed the new decoration of bandages that Zoro had. "What happened to your eye?"
"I got distracted while fighting Mihawk." Zoro waved it off. "Where's…"
At that point, the rest of Team Seven showed up, and things just got very awkward.
A/N: Fight scenes? You're joking, right? Have you seen my fight scenes? They're terrible.