Hello! This is vaguely OOC, but eh. Hope you enjoy! Review if you'd be so kind! xx


"Hey Ron!"

"Shut up shut up shut up."

"I didn't even say anything horrible yet!"

"You were about to."

"How do YOU know?"

"Because you're Fred."

"...Point. So who're you taking to the ba-all?"

"No one, yet.."

"Uh huh..and are you going to wear those lovely robes, then?"

"Shut up shut up shut up."

"I'm sure Hermione will just love – "

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!"

"Cool it..she's not even here."

"She might show up though."

"Listen, little brother. I am going to give you some advice on girls."

"That's okay. I don't want any advice on girls at all. Not from YOU."

"That stings, Ron. That stings my soul."

"I care so bloody much about your soul. Go away."

"My advice is, girls are no—no matter what they pretend—mind readers."

"No! Really? I never would've predicted that without your incredible and insanely helpful advice, dear elder brother. Go away."

"You see, she won't know that you fancy her – "

"I don't fancy Hermione!"

".."

".."

".."

".."

"Ron."

"WHAT?"

"I think everyone in Gryffindor.. I think everyone in Hogwarts, and Beuxbatons, and Durmstrang, knows that you fancy Hermione. Even McGonagall, Ronald. Even McGonagall knows you fancy Hermione."

"Well they're all completely wrong, aren't they? I don't fancy Hermione."

".."

".."

".."

".."

"Stop glaring at me!"

".."

".."

".."

".."

"OKAY FINE MAYBE I FANCY HER A LITTLE BIT. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, FRED WEASLEY? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!"

"Delighted! Right, now, girls—no matter what they pretend—are not mindreaders."

"Thank Merlin for that."

"Yes, I do think we need to. Now, following this general sort of logic, Hermione is not a mindreader, either—as she is in fact, a girl."

"I would most sincerely hope so."

"So if you want to go the ball with her, ask her."

"..I can't."

"I asked Angelina."

"That was completely different..she can't know I fancy her, Fred, she—she just can't. Because—because she doesn't fancy me—and—"

"Ron, this girl is your best friend, yes?"

"Erm, yes?"

"You have spent a lot of time with her in the past four years?"

"A bit."

"Right, I suspected this for years. It's such a tragedy..alas.."

"What?"

"You are blind, deaf, and the stupidest person ever."

".."

".."

".."

"She FANCIES me?"

"Well, duh!"

"But—but—but! Oh—oh Merlin!"

"So are you going to go ask her?"

"But—she doesn't.."

"Why not?"

"She's..she's going with someone else.."

"To make you jealous."

"No..it isn't."

"Yes it is, Ron. You have to believe me."

"Or what?"

"I thought you learned when you were three. Never say 'or what' to me or George."

"But..she doesn't."

"Right, you're fourteen so you're a bit stupid at this point, so don't believe me if you don't want to. But I can tell you this, she does. And when you two get married, I'm going to laugh like hell. Bye now!"

".."

"..I wonder.."