"But, Professor Smith," Hermione questioned, following closely behind the clearly flustered Doctor, who dashed about his office at Hogwarts, obviously trying to avoid the confrontation, "all these things you talked about, all of those wonderful, mad things, they just simply don't exist!"
The Doctor finally turned around and looked straight at Hermione. "Alright, firstly, my name isn't Professor Smith. It's the Doctor. Understand?"
"So...Professor The Doctor, then?" Hermione asked, puzzled.
"No, just the Doctor. I'm not really a professor. I can hardly imagine anyone making me teach kids. I mean kids are cool, I like kids, but school makes them scary little buggers..."
Hermione frowned. "Well, I happen to like school. And I happen to think that "the Doctor" is a rather silly name."
The Doctor clearly was offended, and began to dash hurriedly about his office once more. "Well so's 'Hermeeoninny', but I wasn't going to say anything, thank you very much!"
Hermione quickly sped over to the Doctor and grabbed him by his treasured bow-tie, stopping him dead in his tracks. "The name is HERMIONE. Hermione Granger."
The Doctor gulped and straightened his bow-tie. "Well Hermione Granger, there clearly is no fooling you is there?"
"Nope!" Hermione grinned victoriously.
The Doctor smiled. "Your clever Miss Granger. I very much like that."
He began to walk towards the office window, "So let me guess, you want to know what I'm..."
"You're not really a wizard are you?" Hermione blurted out.
The Doctor turned around, staring at Hermione wide-eyed. "I talk about all manner of alien nonsense around you, and the first thing you ask is if I'm a wizard or not?"
He smirked. "What gave me away?"
Hermione picked his sonic screwdriver up off of his desk, "Well, your wand's rubbish, for one thing. And fezzes are still pretty out there, even in the wizarding world."
The Doctor fondly remembered showing up at the start of term for the Great Feast, fresh off of another one of his adventures: mop in one hand, fez on his head, and bow-tie around his neck.
"Hey, don't diss the Sonic! And I like fezzes! Fezzes are cool!"
"Right..." Hermione said sarcastically as she approached the Time Lord. "So, you're an...alien then?"
The Doctor nodded. "Correct! Twenty points to the human whose name I can't pronounce!"
But Hermione wasn't fazed. "So if you're an alien, why are you here on Earth?"
"Well I crash-landed here actually..."
"In that blue box that fell out of the sky at the start of term?" Hermione said, remembering how the students were sent into a panic following some sort of blue box falling from the clouds and crash-landing straight into Hagrid's hut moments after they arrived at Hogsmeade station.
"That's the one! Anyhow, after crash-landing here, I lost something. Something very important, and I think this school has something to do with it. It seems to have hidden itself within these very walls..."
"Well why don't you just find it with an Accio spell?"
"Well because that's silly, I told you, it's not a wand it's a..."
But then an idea dawned on the Doctor. He always prided himself on his brilliant ideas.
"Hermione Granger, I don't have a wand. I don't understand this crazy new world or anything about it. But you do, you brilliant, brilliant girl! You've guessed everything about me and my blue box, so...fancy a trip?"
"A trip? In your box?"
"Well its more of a...well you'll see..."
"So," The Doctor smiled, outstretching his hand, "Miss Hermione Granger, what do you say?"
Hermione stared at the clearly insane, wonderful man, bewildered. "Aliens...blue boxes that fall from the sky...I must be going mad..."
"Don't worry, all the best people are."
Hermione stared deeply at the Doctor, thinking it through. Finally she smiled, and took the Time Lord's hand.
"Well then," The Doctor grinned, placing a kiss upon Hermione's hand and winking, causing her to blush, "Welcome aboard, Hermione Granger."