Chapter One [Vixenish Ways]
Discaimer: I usually only do one of these, so here goes. I don't own any of the characters, the places, the spells, the potions, the concepts of Hogwarts and the wizarding world, or anything else you may recognize from the great works of revered J.K. Rowling, the Goddess of Creation.
Summary: About Hermione, who's been/being sexually and physically abused by her uncle Don who lives with her family. She goes off to Hogwarts, as scared of men as always, but someone starts to notice her strange behavior towards members of the opposite sex… Draco Malfoy. And as he covertly watches her deal with the Hogwarts boys and men, is he slowly falling in love with a girl who hates herself? And who, more than anything, is terrified of him and the feelings he awakens in her…how can love triumph?
AN: This is my first and last AN for this story, I believe. I think that answering your reviews at the end of each chapter will result in my usual silliness, and that will not do for this story, so if you have questions in your reviews either e-mail them to me at [email protected] or I'll answer them by posting my own answering review in the review section, just check back. Be aware though, that I love and adore each of you monkeys who review. Mwah! Let the angst-ilicious angst-athon begin!
He loomed over her, taking off her clothes gently and entering her gently, yet oh so painfully. Sweat glistened on both of them, yet it was all his sweat.
Hermione lay under him and she stared at the ceiling while she pretended that there was no pain. No pain at all. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.... 12 times only, that he'd done this so far. That didn't include the beatings that had gone on for too long to remember. And soon she'd be going back to Hogwarts, where he couldn't hurt her anymore. No more pain, at least until Christmas. And summer. And… a tear slid down Hermione's bruised cheek.
When he left, she drew the hot blankets over her body, ignoring the stifling summer heat… she was shivering.
Hermione stood in front of the bathroom mirror. The little circle she had rubbed in the glass, surrounded by condensation from her long shower, slowly grew larger as she stood there. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. 30 minutes.
The bruises came into view slowly, until the mirror was clear and she could see herself standing there, sullen face staring, darkened cheeks, eyes, arms, chest, hips, legs. She closed her eyes, but opened them again after a moment, then set to work spreading her concealer over the marks.
Her shoulders slumped and she leaned on the counter, still staring at herself dejectedly in the mirror. Willowy figure, wavy, slightly frizzy brown hair, high cheekbones and pert nose, uptilted almond-shaped chocolate eyes, milky complexion dusted with freckles. A beauty, she acknowledged, yet like so many abused ones, she had a way of blending in, disappearing so that no boy had ever noticed her beauty, no man except for him…
Hermione sat down at the table and obediently drank her orange juice. Her Mother smiled at her.
"Hermione darling, you're off to Hogwarts today! Aren't you happy?" Hermione nodded her head slowly, but how could she be happy? She couldn't remember the last time she had been truly, really happy. Before he came? 8 years ago?
Even when she was with her friends at Hogwarts, she knew inside of her how different she was, how dirty she was. She couldn't tell them. They would hate her. They would see her as the filthy vixen with whorish ways that she knew she really was, like he told her she was. She believed him. He was infallible, wasn't he? If he wasn't infallible, how could he control her body, her soul, her very thoughts? Even when he was miles away, everywhere she looked, she saw him.
Hermione Granger was terrified of men. Boys. Males as a whole. She was glad boys didn't notice her. She had been so frightened of Harry and Ron at first. When she had heard them talking about her, she had cried. She hadn't heard what they were saying, of course, but just hearing her name on their lips - their lips which could dominate hers, -terrified her.
When they had saved her, she had accepted them. She loved them now; almost like Ginny did, in that adoring way. Although she didn't act like it, she worshipped them. They were the only males who wouldn't hurt her, who wouldn't be susceptible to her lustful, sinful ways. They were her protectors against the big bad predators of Hogwarts.
Her Father walked into the kitchen, whistling. She smiled, jumped up and hugged him. He was her supreme, she remembered the days with him, the days before he had come and shown her what she made men do. Her Father smiled cheerfully.
"Ah Hermione, I'll miss you! Your sixth year though! Imagine!" He said, ruffling her hair. "Don is coming down now, Miranda, you'd better get some more bacon on, you know how grumpy he is in the morning." Gerry did not notice the fear that flashed over his daughter's face for a second before she covered it with a smile and sat down at the table, eating methodically, shivering slightly. She heard thumping on the stairs and stuffed toast in her mouth, so that she would have an excuse not to reply if he said anything. Don came into view.
He was in his mid-thirties, slightly overweight, tall, with black hair, black eyes, and a natural charm which the ladies adored. Miranda's black-sheep, mischievous, 'lovable' brother who lived with them and worked at a bar. He winked at Hermione.
"You seem cheerful this morning, Donny my boy!" exclaimed Gerry from behind a newspaper.
"Had a good night, a really good night," He said, winking at Hermione again. She stared at her plate. Nobody noticed. Nobody ever did.
Don drove Hermione to the station, since her parents had to work at their dentist office. The car ride was silent. They pulled up in front of the station and Hermione hurriedly got out of the car. Don grabbed her arm before she could make her escape, yanking her into the car and smiling with that charm that was really well-disguised sadism.
"Don't I get a farewell kiss, little girl?" He asked her, pulling her to him for a possessive kiss that tasted of stale alcohol. Hermione winced as he released her, giving her a 'little' push that sent her sailing into the passenger door of the car. She stumbled out backwards, holding back her tears.
Grabbing her trunk out of the boot, she barely noticed when it banged against her leg painfully, and nearly started crying with relief when Don gave a cheerful wave and drove off. She sat down on the trunk heavily, putting her head in her hands. She sat like this for a while, until she felt someone sit down beside her on it. She looked up into the grey eyes of Draco Malfoy, the biggest evil at Hogwarts, as far as she was concerned.
She jumped backwards, sliding off the trunk and sprawling on the ground with a yelp, then started to back away, still on the ground. Malfoy looked at her with a bemused expression. "Gee, clumsy today, aren't we Mudblood? I saw you fall out of your car."
Hermione shook her head vehemently.
"I-I didn't fall out of the c-car…" She mumbled, her frightened eyes fixed on him, as though trying to convince him. Malfoy furrowed his brows. What was up with Granger?
"You're going to ruin your dress if you keep on scrambling around the ground like the lowly Mudblood you are, Granger." He said, gesturing to the too-large white sundress that went down to her ankles.
Hermione stood up quickly, adjusting her light blue cardigan, which was buttoned up fully, and patted her hair, pulled into a bun that would rival McGonagall's for strictness.
"You sure have boring taste in clothes, Granger." Malfoy commented idly, his eyes taking in her outfit. Hermione folded her arms over her chest in an unconscious protective gesture. She simply nodded her head.
"Aren't you going to tell me get off? Or at least sit down? This is your trunk, or did you forget?" Malfoy asked, smirking.
Hermione shook her head 'no', and he frowned. What was wrong with the chit? She was supposed to be yelling, or slapping him, or something. He got up from the trunk and stood in front of her, noticing her eyes widen and her chin quiver.
"Well? Slap me? Do something! Or are you just afraid without the Wonder boys around?"
She blinked and made no response. Malfoy rolled his eyes and walked off, over to his Slytherin cohorts.
"There's something wrong with that Muddy Gryff." He said to Blaise Zabini.
Blaise Zabini glanced in Hermione's direction, she was once more huddled on her trunk, hugging her books to her chest, head down.
"Always has been. One day I put a hand on her shoulder to ask her for the Newt's eyes in Potions, and she had tears in her eyes, I swear. Suppose she thought I'd eat her or something, set Salazar's ghost on her." Blaise laughed and turned back to his girlfriend, Pansy Parkinson.
Draco stared at Hermione for a second longer before he shook his head and turned towards Crabbe and Goyle.
The train pulled to a stop and students poured out of it. Harry and Ron had showed up, much to Hermione's relief, and lifted her spirits with their witty jokes, Quidditch talk and all together cuteness. They filed into the Great Hall and Hermione stared up at the ceiling.
She remembered a night, before him. Her Father had taken her out to the countryside, and they had lain in a field, staring up at the stars that she had never seen so bright.
Harry tugged her arm and pulled her over to the banquet table, sitting her down next to him. Ron sat across from them. Hermione gestured anxiously for him to sit on the other side of her, and rolling his eyes, he started to stand. He had temporarily forgotten how Hermione insisted on having the two of them on either side of her whenever she sat down anywhere. He didn't mind really, but still, it was annoying how much importance she placed on this. Before he was even all the way out of his chair, though, Neville had plopped himself down next to Hermione. Ron shrugged apologetically.
Harry wondered what was wrong with Hermione. They were now eating desserts, and she had spent the entire banquet huddled tightly against him. He knew she didn't like him like that, he and Ron had surmised long ago that their slightly clingy friend didn't like any males like that, at least none at Hogwarts. And they highly doubted that she liked some Muggle boy. But tonight, she seemed extra jumpy. She was so close to him she was practically in his lap, and she shook occasionally. Particularly if Neville said anything to her.
"Hermione, it's just Neville, he won't bite you!" Harry whispered to her. Hermione ignored him and went back to methodically putting food in her mouth. He glanced over at Ron, jerking his head toward Hermione with a cocked eyebrow. Ron studied for a minute before shrugging and mouthing 'later'. Harry nodded and sighed.
Hermione took another small bite of cheesecake and nearly choked on it when Neville's thigh brushed hers when he leaned over to get some partridgeberry topping. Their eyes met and Neville looked confused as Hermione nearly dissolved into Harry, shrinking backwards. He hook his head sadly and prodded Lavender, who sat next to him.
"Lavi, I don't think Hermione wants to sit next to me. Switch seats?" He asked dejectedly. He had always thought Hermione was rather nice, but apparently she couldn't stand the thought of touching him, let alone being his friend. Lavender smiled kindly and they switched seats. She grasped Hermione's hand and pulled her closer to herself, farther from Harry.
"Hermione, what's up? I think you really hurt Neville's feelings, you didn't touch him all night!" Hermione seemed visibly relaxed.
"I-I… Lavi, I was just worried that he… um, would notice that I didn't wash my hair." She whispered. Lavender accepted this doubtfully, looking at Hermione's long, clean brown hair that was pulled into the usual bun and looked perfectly clean. She and Parvati shared a worried glance. Hermione had always been a bit iffy by their standards, but she was still one of their closest friends, they had roomed with her for 6 years. Something was up…
Hermione left the common room early; unable to bear the worried glances she was getting from Lavender, Parvati, Harry and Ron any longer. She ran up the stairs and closed the door behind her, breathing hard and letting a tear stroll down her cheek, leaving a black streak as it washed away some concealer.
The banquet had been unbearable, she had known that she was leading Neville into her web of satanic seduction, but she couldn't control herself, she never could. Her mind flew back to her encounter with Malfoy, that had been even worse. He was strong, probably virile… probably just like Don… Hermione whimpered and ran into the bathroom, washing her face in the dark.
The rain poured down on Hogwarts, beating on her window as she climbed into her bed. A flash of lightning streaked across the sky, illuminating the scared face of a small girl, and the clap of thunder accentuated the bang the bed's scarlet curtain made when it flew along it's rail and smacked into the golden post of the Gryffindor bed. Hermione lay down, pulling the scarlet and gold sheets and duvet over her and shivering as she fell asleep, looking around the bed when it was brightened with scarlet light every time the lightning came, as thought she expected to see him there. He was everywhere, he was infallible, wasn't he?