Disclaimer: The characters are all registered trademarks and copyrights of
Marvel and other people. I am using them without permission. I am making no
money off of this, profit or otherwise.

Archiving: E-mail me, I'll probably say yes.

Author's Notes: This is my first piece of fan fiction. I will try not to use
this as an excuse to suck. I don't write accents or dialects unless they are
being purposefully exaggerated. I only know enough German from two years in High
School and a German to English dictionary purchased from Half-Price Books. If
any of the German is wrong or misused, please let me know.

One Week
(or Dare to be Single)

Chapter 1: Throwing the Gauntlet

Kurt Wagner collapsed onto his bed. "Life," he announced to the ceiling,
"sucks." He sighed, then continued, "Es ist not fair, I finally find a girl that
likes me and she turns out to be... geisteskrank! Verrückt! Übel! I-" He barely
managed to deflect the basketball.
"...am going to go out and play basketball with mein Freund Evan instead
of being depressed?" Evan finished for him, laying a thick German accent over
his words.
Kurt just sighed and stared at the ceiling. "Maybe some other time, ja?"
"That bad, huh?" Evan sat on the edge of his bed, spinning the ball in
his hands. "What happened this time, some of Jubes' bubble gum pop in your fur?"
"Nein." He gestured vaguely toward the ceiling with one three-fingered
hand. "Girls."
Evan rolled his eyes. "Man, when are you gonna get over her? She was bad
news man, even Scott could see that, and he's wearing shades all the time!"
Risking a glance, he noticed his joke hadn't even dented Kurt's bubble of self-
pity. "Besides, girlfriends are a drag. I mean, just look at Jean and Scott..."
Kurt waited a few moments, then looked up to see why Evan's voice had
trailed off.
"What about Jean and Scott?" asked one of the aforementioned two, his arms
folded across his chest and a none-too-happy look on his face.
"Uh... nothin' man, just trying to cheer up the Crawler!" Evan grinned.
"What's wrong with Kurt?" Scott looked down on the bed to make sure he
wasn't ill or hurt, then sighed. "Still blaming yourself for Tabitha? Look,
Kurt, she left on her own, it was her decision. Just let it go."
"Yeah Kurt, let it go. I mean, girls - who needs 'em?" Evan quickly
Kurt was silent for a few moments, then sat up and slammed one three-
fingered fist into his palm. "Girls! Who needs them? I don't, that's for sure!
No more girls for me..." He stopped as he noticed the stares. "Wait, no more
girls for now, not until they've matured enough not to go psycho on me!"
The two other X-Men were silent a few seconds, then burst out laughing.
"Kurt, you couldn't last one week without chasing one girl or another around
school with flowers and chocolate!"
"Yeah man, and what about your adoring fans at the mansion? They'll miss
your constant displays of affection!" added Evan.
Kurt growled, "I'll show you, I don't need girls. I'm better off without
"Wanna bet?"
Kurt's response was quick, perhaps a little too quick. "What are the
Scott quickly intervened, "It was just a figure of speech, Kurt, he didn't
really mean a bet..."
"Nein, he challenged me."
Kurt rustled around in a few of his drawers for a moment while Evan and
Scott looked on, slightly confused.
He reappeared on the bed, sitting cross-legged with a clipboard in his lap
and a pen in hand. By then, Evan had regained the use of conscious thought and
his courage.
"One week, Crawler. No girls, none at all. No kissing, squeezing, teasing,
nothing." He waited while Kurt jotted down the terms.
"Und when I win?" Kurt looked up at Evan with those strange yellow eyes of
"If you win," Evan said with emphasis on the if, "Me and Scott owe you
five bucks."
"Hey, I didn't..."
Kurt cut him off, "Money? You would bet with something so dull as money?
Really Evan, I thought this was a serious challenge."
"Alright, so what do you suggest?"
The blue-furred boy's grin suddenly reminded his teammates that he had
fangs. "I thought you'd never ask. When I win, you both will treat me to a
week's worth of Gut Burger."
Scott cut in, "You just said that you won't bet money on this, but you
want us to buy you dinner-"
"-Breakfast, lunch, dinner-"
"-whatever, isn't that the same thing as money?"
Kurt shook his head, "Nein, it makes all the difference in the world."
Evan sighed, "There's just no understanding him, man. But when you lose,
what will you give us?"
He thought for a moment, then looked at Scott, "To you I would give one
week of loyalty. I would not question your orders or position as team leader in
any way, shape, or form. Nor would I tolerate dissent from any other member of
the team," Kurt paused, then turned to Evan, "And to you, mein Freund, one week,
prank-free. No pranks, no practical jokes, no wake-up calls, no fun at your
The two boys sat there in silence a moment, perhaps imagining what such a
week could be like. "You're on!"
"Sehr gut. One more formality to go through, and all will be set..."
Kurt pushed the clipboard and pen toward them. Evan quickly signed, and Scott
glanced over the writing before adding his own signature as well. Kurt grinned
as he accepted the clipboard back. "Danke, now if you'll excuse me, I have much
work to do."