Painwheel never thought she would ever feel it with such a burning passion before, but that was the only word in her vocabulary for a long time: Hatred.
First it was Hatred, and then it was heartbreak. All she wanted to do was be free and go home to her parents. But her parents didn't even recognize her! They screamed and at the sight of her and kicked her out, like an animal.
Her father had even called her a monster.
She gazed at her reflection in the park fountain. All she saw was a monster. A killer. A machine. She wanted to see herself again, not this thing she saw in the water, she wanted to see Carol, not Painwheel.
She blamed everyone. She blamed Valentine for kidnapping her, she blamed Brain Drain for controlling her and making her do all of those horrible things she would have never done if she was Carol. She hated him the most of all.
'Come Painwheel, come back' She could still hear his voice in her head, telling her what to do, deciding when to put her to sleep and when to wake her up, putting commands in her brain and being forced to obey them, extending her spine and attaching a huge blade to the end of it, Stealing her humanity!
Painwheel angrily slapped the water. Wreaking her reflection, well She didn't want to see her reflectgion, it only reminded her of how much a monster she was. She slammed her fists into the water, bent backwards into an upside down 'U' and let out a blood curdling wail.
"GO TO HELL BRAIN DRAIN" she wailed to the heavens "GO DIE AND ROT IN HELL!"
She doubled over and panted heavily, feeling a large weight being lifted off her shoulders.
"I'm a monster" she murmured, hearing the sound of some one else breathing , she looked up and saw a group of kids, probably on their way come from school. By the looks on their faced it was no doubt that they saw her little tanterum.
"What are you looking at?" She demanded; when they didn't respond she shouted "Leave me alone!" and they darted away faster then jackrabbits.
Once the kids were out of sight Painwheel dropped her knees.
"I'm a monster" She repeated, looking at her hands, watching as w=she retracted the blades from her palms anf underneath her finger nails. It hurt, excruciatingly, but she was used to it.
"I have nothing"
She saw something out of the corner of her eye. Urning her head slightly, she saw it was a Tulip; her favorite kind of flower.
Reaching her hands out, Painwheel touched the delicate flower. Feeling the soft light red petals, the slight dew from the rain on it and the thick green stem. Then, with great care, she picked it. She saw another one, she picked that one too.
When she was seven, her mother had introduced her to her garden, where she learned how to plant seeds, how much to water them and how to transfer them to the ground. It was her favorite pastime. She had planted several different flowers in her mothers garden: Roses, mums, daffodils, daisies; but her absolute favorite were the tulips. Probably because they were her mothers favorite too.
She remembered her mother picking one from the flower bed and tickling her nose with it.
"You know what that was Carol?" Her mother had asked "That was the flower giving you a kiss"
"Flowers can't kiss" Painwheel had said "You need lips to kiss"
"But this flower is called a tulip. Do you know why?"
"Because they have two lips to kiss you with" Her mother kissed her on the cheek "Like I do"
Painwheel smiled at the memory. She was always happiest when she was gardening with her mother, and that memory had always soothed her whenever she was at the labs being tested on.
She cringed. 'Don't think about the labs, they only bring bad memories'
Her gaze was fixed on the two tulips in her hand. She decided that she wasn't completely alone, that she didn't have nothing; for she did have something, something that made her happy and always filled her with joy.
She still had flowers.