Summary: "Britain goes in suicidal!"/ "What the bloody hell do you want me to do? Dress a drag and do the hula?"
EDIT 8/21/2012: By popular demand I provided a link. It's on my profile. Except I put the Hetalia version since that's probably the one you wanted. :'D
Disclaimer: I own nothing :3
"Britain goes in suicidal it's your charge of the light brigade routine!" The moment Britain heard this he wanted to object. How was he going to just appear and pretend to slice his wrists? He honestly despised the way America thought of his ideas.
"France gives up without a struggle!"
"Aww…no fun…" France quietly complained, sinking his head to the edge of the table. Britain couldn't blame him.
"And for Russia, just keep sending us your cannon fodder. You'll draw the guns away. From me." Britain wanted to strangle the American.
"Wait, hold on. What are you going to do?" Russia brought up, slightly raising his hand in the air. America gave a tacky smile to his fellow allies.
"I'm doing what I always do best and that means I'M THE HERO!" That is when Britain slammed his face onto the table repeatedly. This was not going to end well.
"Okay this isn't going to work…" America announced when he scanned the desolate area. He spotted the three rivaling nations, Japan, Germany, and Italy, peacefully relaxing on the sand by the sea.
France frowned at America, slightly troubled, "Well, what now then?" A tense silence followed; all countries unable to come up with a single clue of an idea. After losing hope their eyes craned over to Britain who was shocked to see all pairs of eyes on him. Britain was annoyed the entire time with his allies and now they looked up to him for a possible idea. Britain rose up from the ground with his hands locked on his hips, his eyebrows knitted in an irritated glare.
"What the bloody hell do you want me to do? Dress a drag and do the hula?" Honestly, the Briton was joking. America and France's, however, lips twisted into a sly yet devious grin almost as if they were going to laugh in agreement. America's eyes moved to France.
"France, get the coconut bra. Now."
Britain's heart suddenly quickened, they took him seriously.
Germany had brought a few of his dogs to keep the three of them company as they carefully watched their surroundings. The allies could come at any minute with their tricky and furtive attacks. The three nations' attention rose when the dogs' ears perked up in the air and shot their eyes to the bushes.
In an instant, two familiar nations burst through the bushes in an…odd attire. The two countries happened to be Britain and Russia, the Briton dressed in a skimpy leaf skirt and a well made coconut bra with a hibiscus flower adorning his hair, leaving the Russian with an Apple stuck in his mouth, barely fitting in as he lay on the floor on his stomach. The three countries stared strangely at the two as the Russian's butt was in the air, how could he be smiling?
"IF YOU'RE HUNGRY FOR A HUNK OF FAT AND JUICY MEAT. EAT MY BUDDY RUSSIA HERE BECAUSE HE IS A TREAT." Britain then pointed at the Russian now softly chewing on his apple with his hand. The Briton even slightly danced to his singing. Germany's eye twitched, Japan blinked repeatedly not knowing if this was real, and Italy gave a hesitant smile.
"COME ON DOWN AND DINE ON THIS TASTY SWINE ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GET IN LINE." Britain didn't know why the hell he was doing this. The Axis didn't know why he was even trying to convince them to eat Russia.
The dogs sure did look hungry though.
"AAAARE YOU ACHIN'"
"Yup, yup, yup~" Russia chanted in between bites of his apple. The dogs were now wagging their tails, their tongues hanging out of their mouths as they panted.
"FOOOOR SOME BACON?"
"Yup, yup, yup~" Japan didn't know what to think but his eyes were twitching at this point. Germany was softly muttering, "What is this I don't even…". Italy awkwardly chuckled. Russia didn't sound yummy.
"HEEEE'S A BIG PIG!"
"YOU CAN BE A BIG PIG TOO, OY!" With the final saying 'Oy', Britain thrusted into the air. Right after his finale, the dogs went on the loose and tackled them to the ground. The last thing heard was Britain and Russia's shrieks in the air as they tried to escape.
"DUDE, THAT WAS FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!"
"Just be glad I saved you guys right after those dogs practically mauled you~"
"But Russia, after awhile, threw them off. You were just laughing your arse off." America raised his eyebrow in an arch at the Briton, his defiant smile now transformed into a frown.
"Oh yeah? You broke your arm in the middle of your escape!"
"THE DOGS BROKE IT, YOU TWAT!" Britain exclaimed as he immediately sat up from his hospital bed. At that moment his back cracked and sent him back lying down in a pained matter, straining his broken arm. America scoffed, lightly swinging his legs as he leaned against his chair. He was perfectly used to Britain's constant yelling at him. Britain then averted his eyes to America, giving a small grin as if he were teasing him.
"I bet you and France just wanted to see me in a coconut bra."