A/N So, this is part two. I wasn't sure what to do for this part, and I'm still not sure about the idea, but I hope everyone enjoys this. It's a very different sort of anniversary this time, and not such a nice one. This is VERY angsty, so be warned!
River convinced him to take her to visit a library, much to his dislike. She had insisted, and it shouldn't have mattered to him. River simply adored libraries, and she had a collection of hundreds of different library cards she had acquired over the years which she had proudly shown him. And he liked seeing how happy she was here. But ever since that first time he met her, he's grown to despise libraries. They make him feel claustrophobic, and like he's running out of time. And he is. Because every day she grows closer and closer, and there's nothing he can do, because she has to die, and it kills him a bit more each day, because she's his wife and he loves her, but he can't save her, and...
Well, you get the point.
But she had to ask to go today. Today of all days. The anniversary of the day that she died in that accursed library, sacrificing herself to save 4022 people and his future with her.
But what kind of future is it?
Because he, the last timelord, is running out of time.
If only she hadn't given up her regenerations for him. Truth be told, he wouldn't want her to change, because he rather likes this River, his River, but at least she would be alive. He wants her to live. Even without regeneration she would live a longer than average life span, and he wants her to enjoy every last day of it. To enjoy those days with her. But he can't, because she's going to die.
He didn't want to fall in love with her. He tried desperately not to. After all, why would he do that to himself, allow himself to fall for a woman who was as good as dead. But he did fall in love with her. He's told her. He wants to keep telling her over and over again.
How many times can he say it before it's too late?
He doesn't want her to die. Don't let her die. I need her. I love her. I don't know what I'll be without her. I love her. But she's going to die.
Don't let her die.
"Sweetie, are you alright?"
River's voice cuts through the tortured rant spinning endlessly around his mind. He looks up.
"Fine." he says, not quite meeting her eyes.
River stood up from her chair and walked over to where he was sitting.
"No, you're not."
"I am! I'm reading." he replied, holding up the book he was pretending to read as proof.
"You haven't turned the page in ten minutes, and you've got that look."
"That wistful, pained look you get when you think about someone you lost. Don't look so surprised. I was trained to kill you. My body language reading is quite impressive. And I know you, Doctor."
She was just too good. So amazing.
"You're right, but I'm fine. Really."
She gives him a look.
"I did lose someone. On this day a while back. Someone I loved. But it doesn't matter."
"It matters to me." she said. "Anything that matters this much to you matters to me."
"It would." he mutters.
"Who was she?" she asks.
"An amazing woman. She was a fighter, stone cold brilliant. Rather manipulative, because she was so much older than I am in this regeneration. The only person I've truly loved in a long time."
River looked taken aback.
"Rose made that much of an impression on you?" she asked, sounding vaguely annoyed by his declaration.
"What? I wasn't talking about Rose."
"Who were you talking about then? Is it someone I knew?"
He tapped her on the nose, attempting to give off his usual playful air, but River was shocked to see a tear ran down his cheek.
"Spoilers." he whispered.
River dried the tear with her thumb. She hated seeing her Doctor this upset over anything, and she knew that he hated loosing people, esecially those he loved, and whoever this woman had been she had obviously been important to him. That made her a bit jealous of the mystery woman, but also somewhat thankful that someone had been able to make her Doctor happy.
"Back to the TARDIS?" she asks.
He nods and stands up.
River changes her mind.
She doesn't like libraries.