This is 'Season Two' and it's more angst than anything else, but there is romance and comedy galore in it too. Not to mention that this time around there is more Florence, Jen, Kevin and 3 special guests you'll meet in a bit. Sam gets his big love interest this 'season' as well and I think you'll all love her as much as I do.
I suggest tissues for this one.
Standard warnings apply: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.
When I awoke, I was in a place of only bright white light and I swallowed because I was really hoping this didn't mean that I was dead. It was as if I was in an entirely white room, and I was pretty certain that this was not a good sign. Did this mean that I had bled out so much that I was now in some kind of after life?
"Hello?" I asked aloud.
"Hello." A voice answered.
I turned to see a very beautiful woman near me and she smiled at me and for some reason I felt calm. She didn't seem dangerous, or bitter or anything like that…she just seemed helpful and I was hoping that meant this was a good omen instead of a bad one. So I took a step towards her and cocked my head to the side a little, examining her and trying to find the right words to say.
"I'm sure you're confused. I am Alexian, and I'm your guide." She told me softly.
I definitely was confused. "What do you mean, my guide? Am I—am I dead?"
Alexian shook her head. "Not yet, Alana. You were simply chosen."
"I don't understand." I told her, and then took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and then looked up at her as I sat up slowly.
Alexian nodded. "I know. Alana, you must embrace your destiny. When you finally freed your parents, you were told of Chelsea, and you didn't heed the warning. Chelsea shot you, and you still have yet to find your birth parents. They're a big deal in all of this, Alana—in a way, they're the reason that all of this is happening. You are dying right now, Alana, but you are being given one last chance."
"One last chance for what?" I asked her.
"One last chance to find yourself." She said simply. "You're being given a chance to make a choice."
I raised my eyebrows. "So…I'm still a little lost."
Alexian smiled and nodded at me, placing her hands on my shoulders and I couldn't help but follow her as she began to walk. She just seemed so genuine and I didn't really feel like she was trying to hurt me…I really did feel like she was trying to help me no matter how confused I was. If there was a way for me to continue to live, then I was going to need to take it.
"You are more powerful than you can even imagine and this new chance being given to you is being given to you to focus on finding yourself…on being truthful about yourself." Alexian explained as she smiled at me warmly. "Everything that you have done thus far has been done for a reason and you need to understand that. You have wanted nothing more than for Dean and Sam to be safe. More than anything, you wanted to protect Dean, and he wanted to protect you—you're his family. Even when things are as dangerous as they can be, you and Dean sacrifice everything for each other. You're one of the most loyal people I've seen in this world. Look at everything you sacrifice." She explained to me.
"And where does it get me?" I asked her slowly.
She smiled at me. "It could get you here."
I followed her to a place that was a future I'd only dreamt about and I found myself tearing up a little. It was a nice house that obviously had kids in it, and the sound of arguing but it was all oddly pleasing to me. I had this feeling in the back of my mind that we weren't going to be able to be this happy ever, but it seemed to me like this was as good a time to try and dwell on an actual future as any.
"Johnny, stop trying to paint your brother!" I heard my future self, cry.
"But Momma, Duncan said my painting was worse than his!" Johnny replied.
Johnny, the little boy that stood in front of me was no more than six, and Duncan wandered into the room and looked about four. The two of them looked very much like Dean, but they had my eyes which made me smile and rest my hand on my stomach reverently.
"Clean this up before your father gets home you two." My other me told them.
"Are you mad at us, Mommy?" Duncan asked as I set my hand on my obviously pregnant belly.
"No sweetheart, but you really shouldn't put the paint anywhere but the paper Daddy and I buy for you." I said, leaning over and stroking his hair, and I clearly saw a diamond ring on her left ring finger—how Dean could afford a diamond, I can't begin to tell you. "Go clean yourself up."
"Lanni, I'm home!" Dean called from the front door.
My other me's face lit up and she went to the door, kissing him softly. He rested his hand on her stomach and nuzzled her neck, making her smile, and making me smile. This Dean was actually visually excited about having kids, and he had two running around and one on the way.
"She's been kicking a lot lately." The other Lana told the other Dean pleasantly.
"Daddy!" Johnny cried, running to him and hugging him.
"There's my boy!" Dean said, picking him up and stroking his hair.
"He painted his brother today." The other Lana told Dean. "I should go help Duncan clean up."
"Let me do it, honey. You've done enough today." Dean said, kissing her softly and then taking Johnny to go and help Duncan to wash off the paint.
I smiled at them. "They seem so happy…I wish I could give Dean that. He wants a home so badly."
Alexian nodded at me. "Anything can happen. You just have to be willing to give things up, and you have to never let your dreams die. Believe in the future—believe in yourself."
"I think I can do that—I'd do anything to get here." I told her.
Alexian smiled. "Then grasp it—hold onto it with everything you have."
"I will." I said triumphantly, and then I found the light fading, and the darkness returning.
When I woke up, I was feeling rather sore and I distinctly smelt hospital. As I tried to move, I realized that the soreness wasn't going to keep me here—I was going to get up and find the others. There was far too much at stake for me to just lie here in a hospital bed and not do anything. Last I remember besides my very vivid dream was getting hit by a car and then getting shot by Chelsea…obviously someone had come and gotten us to a hospital.
"Dean?" I asked out loud, wishing I could gather the strength to talk louder, but I knew it wasn't going to happen. "Who is in here? Shouldn't there be a nurse?"
As no one answered my question, I sat up, cringing the entire way, and then I looked down and saw that I had had some surgery for that bullet. I started to freak out because I was pretty sure I wasn't far along enough in my pregnancy for the baby to survive surgery and anesthetics. I was sore all over, bruised, definitely scraped up, and I'd been cut into…how was my baby?
"No wonder I'm sore." I whispered, standing up and holding onto my IV, walking out of the room with it on its wheely thingy.
It took me a little while to walk down the corridor, and when I got to the room I was looking for, I freaked out a little bit and walked into the room. Dean was in a coma, that much was obvious, and I sat next to him and I took his hand, kissing it softly. I had been pretty certain that Dean had gotten hit with the worst of it, and I needed him to be all right—I needed him to wake up…I needed to talk to a nurse.
"My birth mother, Florence, told me once that talking to people in comas works." I said and then I sighed and shook my head. "But that's probably not what you wanted me to say as the first thing I say to you."
I looked at him for a moment and wiped a tear away before I looked up and saw Sam coming in. He was silent for a good while looking over his brother, but then he looked at me. We made eye contact and I bit my lip, both of us pretty upset, and he knew something…he knew something and I was pretty sure it was a bad kind of something.
"For a moment I thought you were dead." He told me softly.
I nodded slowly. "I had to get out of that room."
"It's probably not good for you to be up and about." Sam said, honestly worried about me and the condition I was in.
"I need to be here with him." I explained to him, and then looked back at Dean. "I lost the baby, didn't I, Sammy."
Sam opened his mouth to say something but a doctor came in and told him that his father was awake, and I looked up and Sam looked back at me. I wanted an answer to my question but it could wait—John was awake and he needed to know how his sons were. Everything going around me was far much more important, and I needed to accept that.
"You want to give him my regards, please?" I asked Sam. "I have one more thing to say before I make my way in there."
"Say it and I'll carry you in there. You don't look like you're walking too well." He told me, swallowing a little.
I nodded and then looked at Dean. "No matter what, Sam and I are going to find a way to get you out of this. We're not going to leave you…I love you."
I leaned over and kissed his forehead and then Sam came over and picked me up, and as I dragged my IV along, he carried me to John's room and I smiled when he looked up and then Sam set me down for a moment. I was standing pretty well it was the moving that was hurting me all over.
"You're looking a little under the weather." John told me and I knew he cared.
Sam nodded at his father. "She had surgery earlier. Something shot her."
"What?" John asked, very concerned.
"Let's not get into it. I'm fine. We need to worry about Dean." I told him, waving off my own problems because right now what mattered was getting Dean out of his coma.
John gave me a look. "What shot you, Lana?"
"Chelsea, now moving onto Dean being in a coma." I said, not wanting to ruin John's hope of having grandkids and needing him to help me save Dean.
Instead of asking about Chelsea again, John looked at Sam and he nodded. After Sam explained everything to him, Sam gave me a look as he was going out to get his Dad some supplies, and I shrugged, cringing a little. John gave me a look as I rested my hand on my stomach and bit my lip so I wouldn't cry—I had to be strong about this…and maybe find that nurse to talk to.
"What?" I asked him as he looked at me.
"Go rest." John said softly. "In your own room."
"But I need to be with Dean." I protested.
John smiled at me. "If you kill yourself in the process of watching over him, when he wakes up he'll blame himself."
"Fine." I puffed out, sighing and then nodding. "I'll go take a nap or something."
"And we'll talk about Chelsea later." John nodded and smiled.
I nodded at him and felt a little defeated. "Fine."
I got up and walked to my room, laying in my hospital bed and lying down on my bed and looking at the ceiling. I reached over and pressed the button for the nurse, taking a deep breath because I really needed to know…was I still pregnant? What happened during the surgery?
"Everything I wanted to tell him I couldn't. Everything I wanted to show him I couldn't. Here I am, shot by Chelsea, possibly miscarried, and then the man I love slips into a coma. What am I supposed to do?" I asked myself and then looked up as the nurse came in. "Hi. I, uh…I was wondering about the surgery…about my baby."
The nurse nodded solemnly. "When you came in, you'd lost a lot of blood. We did everything that we could, but you were slipping away and it came down to you or the baby. Since the father of the baby was in a coma and your only other next of kin was Jennifer on your contact list and Sam, the decision was up to them…we tried to save you both."
"You did what you could." I managed to say, and ran my fingers along my stomach, tears coming out of my eyes.
I had been far too weak to save my baby, and everything the nurse was saying to me was being absorbed, but I was also broken. What if Dean died and I lost both of them in one fell swoop? That demon was going to pay, and I was going to make damn sure of it, that was for certain.
I went to sleep for a little while, waking up to doctors running past my room and I stood up to go see what was going on, Sam running after them too. They went into Dean's room, and started shocking him with defribulators. I had to hide my eyes in Sam's chest, and he held me tightly as the two of us cried. He was slipping away and we couldn't help him…at least not as we were.
"Still no pulse. Clear!" A nurse said.
"No change." The doctor told her. "We'll have to switch to CPR."
Everything seemed so hectic and chaotic, but thankfully, his vitals returned to normal and he was all right, but something was up, I could feel it. There was a presence around Sam and I, and I was pretty certain that there was something bigger going on here. I looked around and then looked back at Dean's body lying there, knowing there was only one thing left for me to do.
"Are you okay?" Sam asked as he walked me to my room.
I shook my head. "No. I don't like to see him there…like that."
Sam nodded at me. "Me neither."
"Can you…can you hold me?" I asked him slowly.
Sam nodded, and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. I felt so safe there in his warm embrace, and I was thankful to him—thankful for him. He was my Sammy and I needed him right then…I also needed John, Dean and Jen…I needed them desperately right then because I was going to lose it.
Seeing Lana so upset like this was kind of breaking my heart. I had woken up in this state of being pretty much dead and I had no idea what was going on, but I knew when I saw what Lana was going through that I had to find a way to pull through this…I couldn't die. I had made her promise never to just up and leave me and regardless of what was going on with her, I was never going to just up and leave her either.
"It's going to be okay, Lan," Sam told Lana as he stroked her hair.
Lana shook her head, face buried in his chest. "You don't know that. This whole thing is like a nightmare…one giant nightmare. First your father is possessed by the demon that killed your mother and he knows me, then Dean almost gets killed and then we get into a car accident and then this. What if I lose him? I can't lost him and the baby all in one day…"
"Yeah, Lan, I know." Sam responded, stroking her hair. "We'll do everything that we can to make sure that Dean makes it through this.
There was a sadness that built up in my chest when I heard about the baby being gone and I wondered suddenly what Lana and I were going to do. I hadn't really been the most supportive about any of this, but I knew that she was going to need me and I was going to have to be there for her. She had wanted this baby—that much I knew—and now because of some accident, it was gone.
It hadn't even been a demon problem either…it was just a car accident and just like that, any future that we had thought was being carved out had been snuffed out. Now Lana was beside herself and I didn't even know what to do. How was I going to fix this?
"I don't know what I would do without you guys…you're my family." Lana told him, making me smile a little bit.
"We think you're our family too…the three of us love you." Sam explained to her and it was the truth—we loved her…me more than Sam and Dad.
Lana nodded into Sam. "And I love the three of you…know that."
With that said, I kissed him softly, and then I rested my forehead to his, enjoying the contact and feeling a little bad and awkward about my lips on his. It wasn't a romantic gesture and we both knew that, but it still never should have happened, I was just distraught. Sam and I both knew I wasn't trying to do anything, but it had still been a mistake.
"Thank you, Sammy. For taking care of me…for helping me through this." I told him, nodding slowly and touching my stomach. "I can't…I can't believe that I lost it. I mean…I didn't even know what it was yet…it was just kind of a baby—my baby. I…I don't want to tell your dad that I lost it, okay? Not yet…I can't do it."
Sam nodded, kissing me swiftly. "Sleep, Lan, and let's not make this thing here a habit."
"Girl Scout's Honor." I said, laying on the bed and closing my eyes to sleep, and then when I woke up the next time, it was to Sam going past my room to Dean's so I got up and followed him. "What are you doing?"
"I think it's time we tried to communicate with him." Sam told me.
I nodded at him because I agreed, and I leaned on the doorframe and began watching from the door as Sam talked to his brother. Mostly I was worried about my own plan, but now if we got to talk to Dean, I was going to be able to ask him to forgive me.
"Hey, um. I think maybe you're around, and if you are, don't make fun of me for this, but, um…but there's one way we can talk." Sam said, pulling out a weegie board.
"His spirit is mocking you." I told Sam with a smile and a laugh, and Sam smiled a little too, and then sat down on the floor and I watched him.
"Dean?" Sam asked. "Dean are you here?"
I watched as he sat there for a while, and then the piece moved and I smiled while Sam laughed with relief. Dean was around—or at least his spirit was—and that meant he was in more trouble than I had thought. At least he hadn't completely moved on though, because his body was still hanging on, so I had to act fast.
"Oh God, it's good to hear from you, man." Sam said aloud to Dean's 'spirit'. "Things haven't been the same without you."
"Damn straight." I muttered with a nod and then the piece began to move again.
Sam focused on the board. "Dean, what? H…U…Hunt? Are you hunting? Dean, it's in the hospital what you're hunting? What are you hunting? What is it?"
We watched as it moved. "The Reaper? Dean…is it after you?"
As the piece moved to the 'yes' on the board, Sam freaked out and wanted to find a way to save Dean so he went to his Dad, while I stayed in the room and sat next to his body. I knew I should probably be using the board to try and talk to him, but if he was in the room and could hear me, then this worked too.
"Now that I know you're around, I know you can hear me. So until Sam gets back, I want you to know something…I love you. I may have said it earlier, but I needed to say it again. This love I have for you isn't going away. I'm in love with you. In love with your pigishness, in love with your hardheadedness, in love with your kindness…I just…I can't lose you. In doing what I want to do next, you might get mad at me, but I need to do this…because I love you…and I can't live without you." I explained to him and then I noticed the weegie board moving and I laughed a little and shook my head. "Okay, so um…do you promise not to hurt me when this is all over?" I asked him.
The piece moved to 'no'.
"Sounds like you, Mr. Stubborn." I said with a sad smile and as I said that, the piece moved around the letters and I smiled. "I know you love me." I whispered and looked up in the general direction I expected him to be. "I love you too…forgive me."
I set myself up in my room as Sam looked through their father's journal for things on Reapers, and then I lay down on my bed and I closed my eyes, but then opened them and reached for my cell phone, calling Jen. In all this time—even with the nurse explaining that she'd contacted her—I hadn't called her and she was my best friend. I hadn't let her know that I was awake, and that I was fine…that Dean was hanging on by a thread.
"Hello?" Jen asked hurriedly.
"Hey, Jen! I realized I hadn't called!" I told her.
"I was wondering where you went to! I've been worried sick! You haven't called in like three days!" She cried.
I nodded at her. "I know, I know. Look, don't freak out, but I need you to come to the hospital. Dean's in a coma and getting chased by a Reaper, and I'm…well I'm…I got out of surgery and now I'm recovering."
There was silence and then I heard a rather angry noise. "What the Hell, Lan? You should have called me far before this! I'm going to be there in a few hours!"
I just nodded and gave her the information before she hung up on me and then I left a note for Sam, because she would call back for directions, but I would be on a different plane of existence—I had to do this spell. Dean meant far too much to me, so I lay there and closed my eyes, chanting the spell under my breath. For a moment I felt disoriented, and then when I looked around I saw my body lying there and I nodded.
"Here goes nothing." I told myself, and then I walked down the hallways and heard a woman speaking.
"It's an honorable death. A warrior's death." She said and I stood in the hallway listening.
Dean scoffed at him. "I think I'll pass on the 72 virgins, thanks. I'm not that into prude chicks, anyways, thanks."
I smiled, knowing he was alive, and a bit at his little joke.
"That's funny. You're very cute." The woman told him with little emotion.
"There's no such thing as an honorable death. My corpse, is gonna rot in the ground, and my family is going to die. No. I'm not going with you. I don't care what you do." Dean said, and I felt myself wanting to go to him, but feeling compelled to listen a little more before I showed myself to him.
She nodded at him. "Well, like you said, there's always a choice. I can't make you come with me. But, you're not getting back in your body, and that's just facts. So yes, you can stay. You'll stay here for years—disembodied, scared. And over the decades, it'll probably drive you mad. Maybe you'll even get violent."
"What are you saying?" Dean asked her.
"Dean, how do you think angry spirits are born? They can't let go, and they can't move on. And you're about to become one—the same thing you hunt." She explained to him.
I walked into the room and looked at him, wanting to cry, and scream, and touch and smile, but I froze. This lady standing next to him must have been the Reaper, and I was worried because I didn't want Dean to die. There had to be something that I could do—I couldn't just roll over and play dead while the man I was in love with died.
"I wasn't expecting you to do this." The Reaper told me.
I ignored her and went over to Dean, kissing him hard on the mouth and then pulling away. What if I really wasn't ever able to be with him again? What if no matter what I did, Dean died? What if I was left without the baby and without Dean?
"I couldn't let you go without that." I said, trying to stop the tears that were coming now. "Not at all."
"Why are you here?" He asked. "You're not dying too, are you?"
I shook my head. "I put myself here because you need me, and I need you."
"Is that what you were talking about?" He asked me, stroking my hair and stepping closer to me.
"Yeah. I knew I could get to this plane. I've tried it before with my parents, but they never let me see them." I explained to him and then I wiped a tear away.
"So you know I'm dying?" Dean asked sadly.
I nodded to him, biting my lip to stop the crying. "Yeah."
Dean held me to him and I tried to be brave, tried to tell myself he needed me to be strong, but I just couldn't bring myself to be strong—I needed him. I'd already lost my beautiful baby and now I was going to lose him too? How was I going to get through this? I knew that it was selfish, and I shouldn't have been thinking about just myself but I had just lost a baby and I had no real time to mourn it yet…how could I mourn a baby and the love of my life?
"You didn't even get to hear the baby's heartbeat." I told him sadly and then decided to make a joke instead of dwelling on the sadness. "You're dying and still not pushing tongue."
Dean chuckled a little, and then we pulled away from each other and I looked at him for a second, and then turned to the woman. It was only fair that I talk to her since she was taking Dean away from me, and if Dean was really dying…I couldn't tell him about the baby being gone.
"Are you the Reaper?" I asked her.
"To Dean I'm Tessa, but yes." She answered me with a nod.
I nodded at her and smiled. "Do you deal with exchanges? Like could you take me in place of him?"
"No." Dean said firmly, shaking his head. "Don't even answer that. She's staying. Lanni…you're staying."
I turned to him. "They need you more than they need me—you can't die."
"Maybe it's time I talked with him. Neither of you should fear death." Tessa said in a soft voice.
I smiled at her sadly. "My parents used to say that, but I just—I always thought Dean and I would have some sort of future together."
Dean smiled and stroked my cheek, cupping my face. "Tessa, can I have a moment with Lana really quick?"
"Sure." She nodded at him, and with that she stepped out of the room, and then he looked at me.
"I was worried about you." He told me.
"You were worried about me? Honey you're the one in the coma." I said, wrapping my arms around his waist and looking up at him.
Dean swallowed. "You got shot."
"And got out of surgery fine." I told him, trying so hard not to lose it.
Dean kissed me softly. "Baby, losing the baby is no reason to sacrifice yourself for me. I'm in love with you too. If I have to go, I want you to know that…and I want you to be able to move on without me. I don't want you to sacrifice yourself for me."
I tried to smile. "That's noble, but Sammy and John need you. You can't leave them now."
"I'm in love with your strength, your sassiness, your stubbornness…and the way you make me feel like I'm a good person. I love you so much it hurts." He said to me, trying to get me to understand that he couldn't let me die.
I was crying now. "Why tell me this, now? Dean, why can't you fight this?"
"Because I'm dying, Lanni. I'm dying and I needed you to know that I would do anything for you. I want to love and protect you always, but sometimes you have to move on." He told me, and he leaned down.
I kissed him, and felt him wrap his arms around me, holding me to him as the kiss deepened. He pushed his tongue into my mouth and I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, thinking about how I may never get to do this anymore. Then his hands roamed along my frame and as his hand traveled up my shirt, he rested his hand right below my breast and we pulled away a little.
"Not to ruin a romantic moment or anything, but you might as well…you won't get to do that again." I told him with a small laugh. "Think of it as something that I'll remember you by."
He chuckled and then kissed me a little more passionately than before, and he rested his hand on my breast, squeezing it softly and then we pulled our lips away. I pressed my forehead to his and closed my eyes, biting my lips and holding back the sobs. I didn't want to lose him…I couldn't lose him…
"I love you." I said softly, kissing him again.
"I love you too." He replied, and he was crying a little, which was breaking me.
I sat in a chair in the room and Dean sat on the hospital bed, looking at me, and then Tessa came in and sat down behind him, running her fingers through his hair as I held onto his hand. I kissed his hand softly as Tessa began to talk to him, and I realized that this was it…these were the last moments that I was going to get to spend with him.
"It's time to put the pain behind you." Tessa told him.
"And go where?" Dean asked her sadly.
She smiled at him. "Sorry. I can't give away the big punch line. Moment of truth. No changing your mind later. So, what's it going to be?"
Dean pondered it a moment and we made eye contact. He was my Dean, and this was our last moment together and all I needed to know about how he felt about me was in his eyes. We didn't need any words, and I knew I was never going to find another man like him as long as I lived. I nodded a little, smiling sadly at him, and then he looked at Tessa softly before the lights began to flicker.
"What are you doing that for?" Dean asked, and then I found myself flickering.
"This can't be good." I said, and found myself waking up in my hospital bed with a start and I looked around. "So did she take him?" I asked myself, trying to get up, but I had used a lot of strength to do that spell. "Get up, Lana! Seriously, now!"
I used what was left of my strength and got up, looking up as Jen came into the room, Kevin following her. I really didn't need this right now because I needed to get to Dean's room and get there now, but Jen had that look on her face and Kevin was always backing her up. So if I was to get out of here, I was going to have to go through Jen first and that far easier said than done—I'd learned that early on in our friendship.
"Kevin…close the door." She told him rather forcefully and Kevin complied as she looked around the room and her eyes flashed with anger. "You did not!"
I swallowed. "I didn't what?"
"Kevin! She used a spell!" Jen cried.
Kevin sighed. "Now you've set her off."
"I what?" I asked him.
Jen looked furious. "You're in for it! Think about it! You just put yourself in danger doing that! Where were you?"
"Dean's dying, Jen." I replied, somewhat calmer than I had expected it to come out. "I needed to see him on his plane before he was taken by Death."
Jen looked phased, but still needed to rant. "Killing yourself is no way to say goodbye!"
"Sit down, Sweetheart." Kevin said softly.
"No! Stop, Kevin!" Jen told him and he sighed.
I took that moment to notice that Jen was looking incredibly happy and for a moment I thought she was even glowing. She couldn't be…pregnant, could she? No, no, of course not—that was something that she would have told me about had she been. She was just pissed at me because I was her best friend and she had been out of the loop…and was that a wedding band on her finger?
"I can't believe this! Why didn't you call earlier? Why didn't Sam call?" Jen asked, but she looked a little sadder now. "I was worried sick! I had no idea what had happened with the demons! I was trying to figure out if I would know if you would die or not, and then you call and lay everything on me! What were you thinking? You weren't!"
I smiled at her sadly. "Jen…I'm sorry."
"You should be!" She cried, actually sobbing now. "I don't know what I would do without you! We've been each others' rock for years and years. I can't lose you."
I started to cry too, and she came over to me and embraced me, and then I cringed a bit and she pulled away. I was still in a lot of pain and I needed to use the last of my strength to hug her and to make sure that Dean was all right now.
"Sorry." She said sincerely.
"Let's check on Dean. I was thrown out of the other plane by something, and all I really remember is finding him and the Reaper, talking to him a bit, and then…then I was here. I need to know if he's alive or not." I told her.
She nodded at me. "Kevin, help me to help her to him."
I smiled at how happy she was to see me and I took a deep breath as I cringed a bit at my wounds. There was just so much bruising and then the site where I had been shot and then cut into and I just…there was so much going on with me right now, but I just had to be with Dean. The three of us went to Dean's room as some doctor's were clearing out, and then I prepared for the worst, but saw Dean sitting up.
"What?" I asked aloud.
"Oh my God, are you okay?" Dean asked me.
I nodded at him and sat on the bed, stroking his hair. "That's not the point…how are you?"
"I'm fine." He said and then Sam asked him what happened. "I don't remember."
I nodded slowly—he didn't remember…none of it. That meant that he didn't remember any of the confessions to me either and while that meant that he and I could no longer be in that area of caring and sharing, it meant that I knew exactly how he felt even if he didn't say it. The look on my face made Sam and Dean ponder things, and then I sat in a chair and I looked up as they noticed Jen and Kevin for the first time.
"Oh! Hi you guys!" Sam told them.
"Hey, Sam. You need to watch Lana a bit more closely. I mean sure, you needed to be here for Dean, but she did a spell." Jen said and I rolled my eyes as she ratted me out.
Sam and Dean turned to me and Sam sighed. "In your weakened state?"
"Lanni…" Dean began, but I shook my head.
"There was a Reaper after you." I told him.
"What?" Dean asked.
I nodded at him. "Then I did the spell to get myself on the same plane as you."
"Lan, that was dangerous." Sam rubbed his temples. "You're not in any state to be going around doing spells."
"I needed to do it." I shrugged. "I got there when Dean was talking to the Reaper, and then…then the two of us talked a bit, and then I was thrown back into this plane. Something went down, but I don't know what."
I was about to say something else when the doctor came in and stood by his bed.
"I can't explain it. The Edema's vanished. The internal contusions are healed. Your vitals are good. You got to have some kind of angel watching over you." He told Dean.
"Thanks, Doc." Dean said.
The doctor nodded and then he looked over at me. "Shouldn't you be in bed, Ms. Tunston?"
I smiled a little. "Just checking on them."
"Hurry the visit up and get back in your bed." He told me. "You should be resting."
"Don't worry, we're on it." Jen said, and then the doctor nodded and left the room, Dean turning to Sam.
"So there was a Reaper after me?" He asked aloud and we all nodded. "Then how did I ditch it?"
Sam looked at me and when I shrugged so did he. "Beats me. You really don't remember anything?"
"No." Dean replied. "I just feel something in the pit of my stomach. Something's wrong."
Then there was a knock on the door and their father came in, looking at his boy with love in his eyes but Dean was right about one thing—something was wrong. Sam was going to fight with him, but John didn't want to…there was definitely something going on with him. He sent Sam to get him caffeine, and then the rest of us left the room because he wanted to talk to Dean alone.
I was really hoping that Sam had kept my secret and not told his father about anything, and I leaned on the doorframe of Dean's hospital room, not listening to what they were saying. I was giving them their privacy but at the same time I had come so close to losing Dean that I really just needed to be near him. This whole day had been trying, and we had all been through so much, and I really just needed something happy to happen.
When John came out of the room, he looked rather solemn, and I took his hand in mine and he smiled a sad smile. Something was up with him and I wanted to know what that something was…but was it my place to pry? I wasn't sure if I should or not, but at the same time…he meant so much to me and I wanted him to be happy too.
"Lana, I want you to know that I love you, okay?" John told me.
"What did you do, Dad?" I asked him without thinking about it, and he turned to me, smiling a sad smile.
He reached out and stroked my hair. "You called me 'Dad'."
I nodded and hugged him. "That's the way I love you—like my own father. You've honestly been the only one I've had in a really long time, and you love me like part of the family."
"I do—you're pretty much my daughter-in-law, you know?" He told me with a smile. "I love you, Lana. I want you to stay strong. I want you to do what you do best: follow your gut. Love them. Love yourself…find your mother."
"You're leaving aren't you?" I asked him, the tears coming. "I'm going to miss you."
He kissed my forehead. "I'm going to miss you too, Lana."
He kissed my forehead one more time and then he headed down the hall and I looked in on Dean, going back into his room as he looked up at me. Jen and Kevin showed back up as I got onto the bed with Dean and started to cry a little as he rested his hand on my stomach. He didn't remember anything so he didn't have any idea about the miscarriage and I didn't have the heart to tell him about it right then because for the first time he was stroking my stomach.
There was no way I could keep it from him, but I was too mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted to get into it. I laid my head on Dean's chest and listened to his heartbeat, kissing his shirted peck softly and hoping I would never be stuck in this life or death situation like this with him again. If it came down to it, I would give my life for him, and I would do that in a heartbeat.
"Are you sure you're all right, Lanni? You just seem so sad." Dean told me.
I looked up in his eyes and kissed him. "I can't talk about it right now, Baby. You sure you're okay?"
He nodded at. "Yeah…I'll be fine—I promise I'm not leaving you any time soon."
I nodded and kissed him again, smiling a little when he stroked my hair, both of us pulling away when we heard Sam yelling for help. The two of us scrambled up and hurried out of the room, followed closely by Jen and Kevin to see John. The doctors were in his room with him trying hard to save his life with defribulators, and compressions, and I wasn't sure I could handle anymore loss…and I broke down when they stopped…
"Okay. Stop compressions. I'll call it. Time of death 10:41 a.m." The doctor said.
Note: What a way to start of 'Season Two', right? More to come tomorrow, don't worry about it. Feedback is always appreciated!