Yeah, I forgot that there was another couple deaths so…this chapter is sad, but there's some fluff. There's also some arguing in it and you'll probably be all, "wtf?" but the argument won't be discussed in length until the end of the next chapter.
WARNINGS: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.
When I got to the hospital, I had no problems getting in to see Paige, which was kind of amazing. I had expected there to be a lot more security since she had been pretty badly beaten up, but there wasn't. I was on her list of people to see her, and since Dean was with me, they let him in too.
Part of me felt relieved that I hadn't done this—but it was still my fault because my father had done it and so I felt guilty about it. There was so much going on and while I had my memories back, it just felt like all of this had happened for a reason and I wanted to know what that reason was. Was my father trying to taunt me? Did he want me to seek him out? Was he after Sam and Dean? Did he want my mother? Why was Paige mixed up in the middle of this?
"You okay?" Dean asked me.
I nodded, but really, I wasn't—I didn't feel well. I felt nauseous, especially since she had started to become one of my friends, and there was nothing I could do for her now. She was just lying there, unconscious. How did she call then? Did Mom just get it wrong? She had to have. The doctor said Paige had been unconscious for hours…the nurse had to have phoned our house.
"Dean…do you think you can get me some coffee?" I asked him.
Dean nodded, and left the room, leaving me to sit in the chair near the bed, and I took her hand in mine. I didn't know what to do. I was starting to hate hospitals—hate everything about them. It was all starting to be one crappy thing after another. I didn't want to be here anymore…if I was going to be alive again, I wanted to start over away from a hospital.
"Lana?" Paige asked groggily, waking up.
I squeezed her hand. "I'm here…"
"Good," Paige said, smiling and opening up her eyes. "You okay?"
"Am I okay?" I asked with a broken smile. "I'm fine. We should all be asking you if you're okay."
Paige shrugged, but cringed as she did so. "I'm fine, hon."
I smiled and stroked her hair, and we both looked at each other. I had to ask the question, and she was expecting it, but neither of us said anything. She had been with me when my eyes flashed and she hunted things and I needed to know if she had seen what had hurt her…if his eyes had flashed yellow too. It was just that right now it wasn't worth it—all that mattered right now was making sure that she was okay and I could deal with my father after that.
"Here's your coffee," Dean said, and then he just kind of nodded at Paige. "Hi…"
"Hi," Paige replied, smiling.
It kind of made me sad that my new friend and my fiancé didn't get along—not in the slightest. He hated her. He thought she was taking me away from him, and though it wasn't true at the same time she and I shared something Dean didn't share with me—school. I just wanted them to get along, but it was far too much to ask and I knew that and to be fair, I wouldn't be staying in school. I had left school behind me for a reason and there were online classes I could take to do something if I really wanted to.
"So what did that to you?" Dean asked, sipping his own coffee, and not really caring about the response, but pretending like he did.
Paige looked at me. "You're not the demon they think you are. It was a Greplin…"
"A Greplin?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows.
"A Greplin is a demon that takes over a person's body. It's like possession, only it's more like one body going into another. They pretty much become one with the person they're 'haunting', in a sense, and they feed. They use the person's body as their house." I explained to him. "Honestly they're parasites only demonic."
Paige nodded at that. "Some of them gain more control than others, depending on how weak the host is, and they start to kill. The only sign of them is a symbol on the back of their neck."
"How do you two know this?" Dean asked us.
"I've run into one before," I told him, looking at the bed. "One possessed Jen for a while years and years ago. It was Junior High, I believe."
"I've just read about them," Paige said with a shrug. "That must have been rough. I know how close you and Jen are."
I smiled and nodded at that because she really didn't know how close Jen and I were. Hell in High School we hung out so much that our periods came a day apart and we told each other everything—even things we shouldn't. Like Jen knew I liked being on top and I knew Kevin was a biter—I mean it's far too much information but she was my best friend and I was hers and that was just how we rolled.
"It was definitely hard," I told her. "Mom got me through it though—Bethany."
Dean nodded slowly. "The only mother you really knew until now."
Paige grasped my hand. "It was in your mother, Lana."
"Mom?" I asked suddenly. "That's ridiculous…"
"Completely ridiculous," Dean agreed with me.
Paige sighed loudly. "I know you don't want to believe it, but I can prove it."
"How do we kill it?" Dean asked her.
I was still kind of reeling from the information presented here that it was inside of my mother. And why did I have blood on my hands before and how…things just weren't adding up. Still, Dean had asked a question and so I shook the thoughts away and looked at him, his eyes practically boring into mine.
I took a breath. "You have to kill the host in most cases—if the demon hasn't gotten truly violent yet though, there's an injection that kills it from the inside out without hurting the host. That's how I got it out of Jen."
"What do you classify as truly violent?" Dean asked me.
"In some cases, the host is so strong that there's no way you can get close enough to it to give it the antidote, or it has taken over so completely, that it's immune." Paige explained. "There are actually a few mass murderers in history that were Greplins."
I sighed loudly. "Which means we have to figure this out now because if Mom has one in her and she makes even one more kill…she's as good as dead, as bad as that sounds."
Dean nodded, and I kissed Paige's forehead, leaving with Dean to go and see Mom because I needed answers. I still wasn't convinced that it was inside of her, and Dean refused to leave me alone with her in the same room, but I needed him to—this was my fight. This was my mother.
"Lanni, don't tell me 'no' again. You know how I feel about you running around getting yourself into trouble." Dean told me. "Besides…you never know."
I gave him a look when he pointed at my stomach. "You don't honestly think that your sperm and my eggs are making cookies already do you?"
"Wow do you have a way with words," Dean told me, laughing a little. "Those would be really gross cookies even I wouldn't eat."
"Eh," I said with a playful shrug and a smile, "I was just gifted like that. Come on, Dean…please let me try this on my own? I promise you that I will call you if I really need your help."
Dean sighed loudly. "I don't like this."
I nodded, and then got my phone out of my pocket as it rang. "What's up, Paige?"
"Get Annie and your mother to come with you to my house. Since I'm awake and recovering, the doctor released me." Paige explained to me. "Just…I hate to sound terrible, but don't bring Dean. He doesn't trust me, and I'm afraid he'll mess things up."
"What if I promise he won't?" I asked her sighing.
Paige sighed too. "I just—I want your mother to come out of this, and he distracts you. You have to have your wits about you."
"He actually keeps me the most sane, but fine," I told her. "I'll be there soon."
I hung up the phone and looked at Dean and I bit my lip because things still weren't adding up for me. How did it get into Mom? Why in the world wouldn't I have noticed with my newly heightened demonic senses? What was with Paige asking for Dean not to come? I mean yeah, I got what she was saying about him being a distraction but…Dean would never put my family in jeopardy…I honestly believed that.
"Annie, Mom and I are going over to Paige's," I told him as he stood there, waiting for an answer.
Dean gave me a look. "What? Did that bitch tell you to make me stay here?"
"Dean, she's my friend," I told him sighing loudly. "I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't call her a bitch."
"I just don't trust her," Dean said, resting his hands on my waist.
I took a deep breath. "I trust her I just don't trust the situation. Can you just…let Kate, Lance and Sam know what's up and let Annie, Mom and I deal with Paige and the weirdness?"
"I hate this," Dean said, letting go of me and backing up a step.
"So do I," I said with a nod.
"No," Dean shook his head. "I hate that you don't trust me as much as Paige. You've known me practically two years, and her only a few days and yet you're doing exactly what she told you to do by making me stay put."
I gave Dean a look. "There is no way that I trust her more than you. Hell I don't trust anyone other than Jen more than you! I think you're over-reacting!"
"Really? I don't," he said angrily. "If you need me, don't call. I'm done trying to get you to listen to reason."
I was shocked. "Dean, I'm not making you stay because I don't trust you! I'm making you stay because this is my fight and I don't think the demon is really in my mother!"
"Yeah, well maybe killing the demon is my fight!" Dean retorted.
I honestly had no idea how we had gotten here suddenly nor why Dean was so damned upset with me. What the Hell was going on and where was the Dean that I knew and loved? Why did he think I didn't trust him even though I'd told him that I had? Why was he turning all of this around on me? Where did I make my mistake that led to this?
"He's my father, Dean. He's taken from me," I tried, confused.
Dean scoffed at that. "Yeah? He killed my mother, and my father, and he's going to use my brother as one of his soldiers of darkness. You wanna compare how much you've lost to him?"
"He left me, Dean! Abandoned me, Annie, and my mother, and for what? Then he sent someone after me to kill me! He killed me and I get brought back and this is how you want us to end up? You want to fight me over this petty little battle I want to fight myself?" I asked him. "It's like I'm pregnant and you want me safe but news flash—I'm not pregnant! Not yet! I might never be!"
"I'm not having this conversation anymore, Lana. Just go," Dean told me.
I nodded sadly, but I wasn't willing to cry and I just looked at him as he looked at me. I didn't know how we'd gotten here, or what I had said, but he was making his choice and that was that so I had to make mine. I took the ring off of my finger and I took his hand, making him take it.
"When you're ready to stop acting like we're kids and I stole the last cookie, you can give it back. Until then, stop being an ass." I told him.
I went inside the house and got Annie and Mom, who were more than willing to go to Paige's with me to make sure she was okay and to figure this all out. I went to my room and got into my bookcase, grabbing a book that wasn't really a book, getting the injection out of it. There was only one dose left of the stash that I had, so this was the only chance we had. Going downstairs, I met Mom and Annie outside, the syringe in my pocket, and I tucked my hair behind my ears—the Impala was gone.
When we got to Paige's house, there was something different about her…something was off about her. She seemed so much more—so healed. She didn't look as maimed or beaten as she had looked in the hospital and Mom was giving her a look. Annie felt how uncomfortable I was and then Mom looked at us.
"Annie, Lana—go…" Mom ordered.
"Don't listen to her, Lana," Paige told me. "She's the Greplin."
Annie looked at me. "This was all a con?"
"I don't know," I told her slowly.
"You actually think Mom's a Greplin?" Annie asked me again.
"Paige is the Greplin," Mom said, and Annie and I looked at her.
Paige scoffed loudly. "I am not."
"Then show them the back of your neck," Mom told her, holding up her hair to show us that there was absolutely no mark.
Yeah so my theory had definitely been spot on—nothing wrong with my mother. The thing I hadn't been expecting was for Paige to actually be the Greplin and I was kind of annoyed that I hadn't felt that. Why were my senses off? I hated that things were like this and I just wanted to be trained so that I wouldn't be so caught off guard. Was it because I still kept thinking about Dean and how I was sorry?
"You lied to me," I told Paige.
Paige smiled at. "And it was easy—I even got you to leave the boyfriend at home."
I looked at the ground. "I'm such an idiot…"
"No you're not. You're just too trusting." Paige said with a smile. "It's all right."
"Stop talking to me like we're friends," I told her. "We're not."
Kate came bursting in with Kalli, both thinking something was up, and before we knew what was happening, Kate was thrown through a wall, and Kalli was tossed out a window. Paige shrugged, and then she pulled out a gun, shooting Mom three times before Annie and I got to her. Annie used her powers to throw Paige up against the wall, and I took out the syringe, stabbing it into her flesh. She started to scream as the antidote went into her, and Annie stopped pinning her there, running over to Mom, who was coughing.
"You son of a bitch!" I yelled at Paige.
Something in my voice was deep and demonic, and I knew my eyes were flashing yellow, but I had control. I didn't know where the control had come from, but I knew where the pain and the anger had and I knew I couldn't let my life be like this…I couldn't have more blood on my hands. Paige kept screaming, now writhing on the floor, me turning to make sure Mom was okay, Annie stroking Mom's hair as she smiled weakly at us and I felt my heart breaking.
"She's a good shot," Mom said, and laughed a little. "These silver bullets kind of tickle."
I shook my head, the tears coming. "That's not the appropriate word, Mom."
"I have a good few minutes left, but that's it…" Mom told us. "Tell Bobby thank you—he'll understand."
"No," I told her, shaking my head some more. "That's not true. Mom?"
Even as I said that, Annie got up, the Greplin having just come out of Paige, and Mom was looking paler than ever. I didn't know what to do. I knew I should have been focusing on killing the Greplin but how could I do that? How could I leave my mother when she was looking so pale and weak, her head in my lap?
"Mommy?" I asked as her eyes rolled back. "Mommy?"
I held her to me and I cried, wondering why all of this was happening and blaming myself all at the same time. Why hadn't I just let Dean come? If I had been more sensible about this, Paige never would have gotten in those shots…unless she'd have just shot Dean instead. I stroked Mom's hair and cried a little harder as her breathing slowly became nonexistent.
"Come on, Mommy. Please. Stick it out. Please. Don't leave me, Mommy. I still need you." I sobbed loudly. "Please, Mommy."
"She's gone," came a demonic voice. "You're making this far too easy, Lana. You better be careful or you're going to end up in the wrong place."
Annie flung the Greplin against the wall, but we both knew it was using its last breath to get to us. The Greplin melted, blood and guts everywhere, and Annie made a face—it smelled. She came over to Mom as Paige began to stir, cringing and coughing—her body was in bad shape.
"I'm sorry," she said softly.
It was then that I remembered that you remember what happens when you're possessed by a Greplin—its one of their more terrible traits. You can try your hardest to fight it while it's in you but even the strongest people can't honestly force one out by sheer will. Greplins…if I never came across another one in my life that would be fine by me. They were nasty little buggers and one had just killed my mother.
"I'm so sorry," Paige said, crying now.
"It wasn't your fault," I told her, and Annie, Kate and I helped Paige back to the hospital, having to admit Kalli, who was in a coma, and then went back for Mom's body.
"I can't do this, Lanni," Annie admitted slowly.
I wrapped my arms around her, and we cried a little before Annie grabbed a sheet and put it over Mom, and we hauled her all the way to our house, calling the police. Dean wanted to hug me, and I knew it, but we were still so mad at each other and I kept telling Sam that hugging would make it worse. When the cops came and took her body away, us telling them some creep was just randomly shooting, they said we would need to get the funeral and everything set up.
I went upstairs to my room, and I picked up a vase of flowers, throwing it hard against the wall. This wasn't how things were supposed to happen. This isn't how things were supposed to end. Mom wasn't supposed to die. I was supposed to have more time with her. Dad had so many terrible things coming to him—Annie and I weren't going to let this fly. When the Hell would he stop doing all of this to me?
"Why'd you take her from me?!" I screamed, collapsing onto the floor and crying into the carpet. "Why?!"
My door opened, but I didn't look up. The tears splashed out of my eyes and I just cried, all of the pain finally hitting my chest. It was like I couldn't breathe. It was like I was reliving my parents' death all over again. She was gone. I had just found her, and she was gone—ripped away from me somehow by my own father…I had always thought that somewhere deep down he cared about her…but he didn't.
"Breathe, Lanni," Dean told me.
"I can't," I sobbed. "I just can't…"
Dean stroked my hair, pushing it out of my face, and I felt him hold me tightly to him. He wasn't going to let me go through this alone. He knew what is was like to lose someone this close to you. She was my mother. She gave me life. She watched over me. Loved me. Cared about me. Explained things to me. How could she just be gone now? He actually understood this feeling…had lost his father…
"I'm so sorry, Lanni," Dean whispered to me.
I cried into him some more, and after what seemed like hours, I lay on the floor in a lump, completely out of it. I was limp. I just laid there as Dean stroked my hair. I hated this life. I hated everything. Why couldn't I have just stayed dead? I never would have brought this on anyone. Mom's death was my fault.
"I'm tired," I told him unemotionally, and I got up, getting into bed fully clothed, laying there, nuzzling my pillow with my nose.
Dean got up and nodded. "You want me to stay with you?"
"Please…" I whispered, closing my eyes.
I heard Dean flip the light switch to turn the light off and he crawled onto the bed and held me to him protectively. He was spooning me from behind with his hand protectively on my stomach, keeping me close and kissing behind my ear to let me know that he loved me and regardless of fighting, we were in this together. I started to cry again, wishing that the tears would stop coming, but they wouldn't. I couldn't even cry myself out…this was terrible.
When I woke up the next morning, I turned over, knowing that by the amount of warmth, Dean was still in my bed. He smiled at me a little, and stroked my hair and when I went to flex my fingers I realized he'd put the ring back on my finger. I really appreciated it, but at the same time I had wished we could talk about the fight…but now wasn't the time…the fight didn't matter right now.
"How shitty do I look?" I asked him.
He smiled at me. "You look beautiful, Lanni."
"A lie, but I appreciate it," I told him nodding.
He kissed me, but I only responded briefly—I didn't feel like I could be happy right now. Everything just seemed to be falling apart around me and I didn't know what to do and I wanted to talk to Dean but I couldn't. Every time I started to open my mouth to ask him what the Hell was happening between us, I felt like I was a terrible person for coming back to it when my mother was dead.
"Sam found a hunt," Dean said trying to act like me not kissing him back was normal.
I nodded and got out of bed. "I have class today…"
"I know that you won't want to hear this, especially from me, but your mother just died. Skip school." Dean told me.
"I have to keep myself busy and if I hunt a demon right now…I just don't know," I said firmly. "Maybe Paige will pick me up."
Dean made a face. "Paige? Why not let me take you?"
"Sam found a hunt." I reminded him. "You need to be here with him."
"No, I need to be with you wherever you are. You're the one that needs me." He said softly. "Sam has Kate."
I started to change. "I don't need you."
Dean looked at me like he understood my pain and I sighed and grabbed his hand as he started to leave my room. That hadn't come out right and I hadn't meant it I just—I was not in the right frame of mind and I needed to talk now. I needed to get everything off of my mind and Dean looked at me sadly as the tears started to roll down my cheeks again.
"Baby, I didn't mean that," I told him softly, my voice cracking. "I do need you…and I don't want to go to school—I don't want to go back there at all. I just feel like you want me to go hunt with you but you don't really because you won't let me do anything, and I feel like I'm going to take this out on like the first person who crosses me."
Dean nodded and pulled me down on his lap me in my bra and jeans because I had been trying to change. He kissed me and he stroked my hair, nodding and kissing me more as I cried a little because the kiss felt so wonderful and yet I was kind of happy and my mother was gone and I felt bad. Had this been how Dean had felt after John had died? Because I understood why he turned the sex down now…I would too right now.
"I wish I could make your pain go away," Dean whispered his forehead to mine.
I nodded and took a shaky breath. "I wish it would just go away."
"A hunt will get your mind off of things," he told me, trying to change the subject. "After the funeral tomorrow morning…head out with me and Sammy?"
"Okay…I think I can do that." I said resting my head in the crook of his neck and letting him hold me close. "I think I can do that."
Mom's funeral was harder on me than on anyone else. When she actually got buried, I had an episode. My eyes glowed yellow and I got violent—I had to buy a new television, because I broke mine—like it shattered. Then, if it wasn't enough that Mom was being buried, that afternoon Kalli's organs began to fail so Sam called Bobby and had him take the case instead. I visited her everyday after school—Dean and I had both decided that I needed my mind off of things, so he drove me there and picked me up—he even met Ryan—let me tell you now, he didn't like Ryan.
"She's going to be fine. She'll wake up and have a full recovery," Paige told me one afternoon while Dean grabbed me some coffee.
I just kissed Kalli's limp hand. "If only I was that lucky in life."
Ryan rested his hand on my back and rubbed it, and I smiled a little because they cared so much. At the same time it was awkward that he was touching me and I was honestly so relieved when Dean showed up. I smiled a little when Ryan's hand shot off of my back and Dean kissed the top of my head.
"How's she doing?" Dean asked me, sitting in the chair as I got up and then sat on his lap cuddling into him.
I shook my head. "We've all said our 'goodbyes'…sound familiar?"
"Baby, you can't think like that," Dean whispered softly.
"I don't know what else to think…" I told him dismally.
He and I got up and went to the waiting room where Sam was still holding Kate to him, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead. I hadn't really taken the time lately to look at the two of them closely but even if Sam wasn't really understanding what was going on—and he should because he wasn't stupid—Kate was definitely in love with Sam…or at least I was pretty damn sure that she was…and Sam felt the same way. Had they said it to each other yet?
Before I could even bring it up with Dean though, the monitors began to beep, and a nurse ran in, followed by a couple other nurses and a couple doctors. Dean and I watched by the door, Kate, Annie and I huddled together, the tears coming. It was even worse when the doctor pronounced her dead and told us the time of death, Sam holding Kate close as she turned into him, crying into his chest.
It felt like everyone around me was being picked off, one by one, and to make it worse, Jen told me my episodes were getting worse. This time I wrecked the basement. Dean stood by me the whole way through and held my hand at Kalli's funeral, kissing the top of my head. Afterwards we went home and I decided I was definitely going with the boys hunting because I couldn't do this anymore. I was no longer going to be some target…it just wasn't alright. I was stronger than this and I was going to beat this.
I went to go and check on Annie because I knew that in all of this she was wishing that Sam was there to comfort her. I had comforted Kate a little bit, but mostly Sam was taking care of that and I thought that was great, honestly that they had each other. Annie held me close to her and stroked my hair but something was different…something was off. She felt me tensing up, pulled away and whispered an incantation, sending me flying across the room, all the air going out of me before I blacked out.
When I woke up in the hospital, I sighed a bit—honestly wasn't the hospital getting to be such a damn redundant place?! Dean was sitting next to my bed, and he kissed my hand, smiling at me and stroking me hair as I woke up. I smiled a little too and squeezed his hand, making a face because honestly my head felt pretty sore—damn wall making contact with it!
"You, my love, are in hospitals way too often," he whispered to me.
"Did you just seriously say, 'my love'?" I asked him, raising my eyebrows. "How hard did I hit my head?"
He laughed and rolled his eyes. "At least your personality is still intact."
"Where's Sammy? Annie? Kate?" I asked then.
"Sammy's getting coffee with Kate and checking with the doctor's about checking you out and Annie…haven't seen her now that you mention it." Dean pondered.
I sighed loudly. "Well figures—she's the one that did this to me."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath when Dean asked me if I was sure and I tried to think. First Mom was killed, then Kalli died, and now…now Annie was evil or something? Why in the world had she just snapped like that and done that? Did she have a reason? Was this a psychic thing? Was Dad possessing her? What in God's name was going on around here these days and why?
"This has been the worst month of my very short second life," I told Dean, opening up my eyes.
Dean shrugged a little. "I wouldn't say worst…"
I gave him a look. "No? My mother is dead, my cousin is dead, my sister is off God knows where doing God knows what and—"
"—we're pregnant," Dean told me.
I stopped talking and looked directly at him my mouth agape, a smile on Dean's face and I felt my heart start to beat faster. Wait a minute…how could that be? I mean yeah…we'd had sex a month ago—and sure after that and even to try and make me feel better with all the bad stuff happening lately—but we wouldn't even be able to hear a heartbeat for a week or two more so why get my hopes up? What the Hell? How did he even know?
"What?" I asked him softly, and I knew it was barely audible.
Dean scooted his chair closer to me. "When the doctor was going over your charts I mentioned that we'd been trying and he took a blood sample and you're definitely showing 'high levels of hCG' as he put it. So…we're baking cookies…he thinks, anyway. It's possible you're just…ovulating."
I laughed a bit when he whispered the last word. "It's not a bad word, Dean."
"It's awkward…" Dean responded quickly.
"But…but…our baby's so tiny we can't even hear a heartbeat yet," I told him, my eyes glues on my stomach, and my free hand on it now. "That means it's all new and still and embryo and—how many days? Did he say?"
"You're suddenly all excited," Dean said with a smile on his face. "Based off of the information I gave him about our sex lives, he's thinking three weeks so around 21 days…or again, could be the other thing."
I laughed a little. "Wow…it's still an embryo. I probably won't show any signs for a good like…two or three weeks. Are you sure? Or are you just telling me this to make me feel better? It will be another three days about depending on when the cookies started baking in my uterus for a pregnancy test to read the most accurately."
"That's why it's called a blood test," Dean told me. "I mean we're going to have to come back to make sure since I don't know anything about your cycles, but…it's possible you came back a little too shiny and new."
I just stared at him and then smiled, pulling on his hand and kissing him when he brought his lips to mine. He knew what I wanted and though my hopes were up and we weren't sure, we kissed anyway. He ran his fingers through my hair and then rest his hand on my stomach and stroked it with his thumb making me pull back and look him in the eye.
"And you're sure about all of this? Because everything is different and I am not going to just sit around while you and Sam hunt. I'm going with you." I told him.
Dean nodded and rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "I know…you're a stubborn piece of work."
"I'm taking that as a compliment," I said with a smile, kissing him again.
The doctor came in and said I was good to go but to come back to check on the potential baby, and I nodded. Then the boys and I packed up to get ready to go, me looking up abruptly as Sam and Dean got in and Kate tossed a duffle into the car. I smiled though because I knew she was coming, it was just a really sudden movement was all.
"I told Sam I love him," Kate said as we got into the back seat.
"I knew you were in love with Sammy!" I said excitedly.
She reached over and covered my mouth with her hand. "Shut-up! He'll hear you!"
"Dean will sing about it, so…my lips are sealed," I told her with a smile and I pointed to the car. "Still, I'm happy you told him because it's obvious."
Kate smiled at me and got into the car, me telling the boys that we were ready to go when they were. It was going to be the four of us and Dean just nodded and Sam smiled and I looked from Kate to Sam, to Kate and laughed a little when Kate punched me in the arm and told me to cut it out. I put my hands up in surrender and then looked at Dean and he nodded at me—until we were sure, we weren't going to tell anyone about the baby.
When we got to the motel, I actually smiled—I had never been this happy to see a run-down place as much before. It felt like the old times even though these were new times and it was time to start making some new memories. This was going to be fun though because it would be nice to see love blossom for Sam…and with my favorite cousin no doubt. Even so…I missed Annie and Sam and Dean missed working with just each other, but we didn't mind this foursome arrangement either.
"Kate? Sammy? I think you left your appetite at the diner around the block. You must be so hungry you'll be there for an hour—maybe two," Dean told them and I turned to him and gave him a look as Sam laughed.
I took Dean's hand. "Let them settle in at least, Dean."
"No it's fine." Kate replied, stepping close to Sam—oh, I saw how it was: she wanted alone time with Sam too.
"You're smooth," Sam told Dean, and then left the motel with Kate.
I rolled my eyes and sat on the bed I'd claimed, opening up my laptop and looking up at Dean as he cleared his throat. It was kind of cute that he wanted to be with me and sleep together and have some fun, but I wanted to check in on Jen. She had Kevin to lean on even though he was annoyed she'd done the ritual to bring me back to life, but at the same time she felt bad about the deaths too.
"I didn't get him out of here so you could play Nancy Drew," Dean said, unbuttoning his buttons.
I smiled up at him. "I think Sam left because Kate wanted to spend time with him. You know eventually we may have to leave to give them the motel room."
"Really?" Dean asked me. "I think they left cause they didn't want to listen to us go at it. If we want that baby, we need to keep going."
"Cause we're normally so loud," I told him rolling my eyes.
Dean got onto the bed with me, and wrapped his arms around me, pushing my hair off of my shoulder and lowering the sleeve. I leaned back into him, and he ran his hands along my arms, resting his head on my shoulder. He was cute, and I adored him and after one e-mail, I'd do whatever it was that he wanted me to do.
"I miss my mother," I told him. "I miss her and Kalli so much. Hell, I even miss Chelsea."
I turned around and resituated us so that I was on top of Dean and I kissed him softly. He had no idea why I was suddenly being very affectionate, especially after saying all that stuff about missing my mother and my ex-best friend, and my cousin. It just felt like I was bringing us down and I sighed a little when Dean pulled back and looked me in the eye, stroking my hair.
"Are you okay?" Dean asked, and he looked me in the eye as I shook my head.
"I'm the reason Chelsea got turned, and the reason Jen was attacked by Hell Hounds and forced into early labor, Mom's dead, my Dad's the demon, Kalli's organs failed, I lost her, Annie's having bouts of evilness—I can't help feeling that most of this is my fault, Dean." I explained to him.
Dean shook his head. "It's not your fault, Lanni."
"I died and they felt the need to bring me back," I told him and when he gave me a look I nodded and then shook my head. "Hey, you wanna know what I found out when I came back?"
"What?" Dean asked me.
Honestly there was one good thing about getting my memories back slowly—it meant that some things I forgotten before had come back to me and I smiled. There was definitely a bigger plan set in place here because when Sam and I had met at the wake…it hadn't been our first meeting. I didn't want to show Dean without Sam there though, so I bit my lip.
"Let's wait for Sam," I told him.
Dean nodded slowly. "Okay…then in the mean time can we do what I got Kate and Sam out of the motel for?"
"Baby, we can do that later, I want to show this to you now," I whispered, kissing him softly. "Hey! Hands!"
"I think we both know that I'm a lot quicker than you are," Dean told me nodding with that cheeky look on his face.
When I gave him a look and said 'Dean Winchester' in a warning tone, he sighed and he let me call Sam. He and Kate came straight back to the motel and I drew a ring that Kate helped me with and we all stood in it. Then I muttered an incantation and the four of us felt our bodies being pulled a little bit and the scenery changed.
I had once been scared about using my powers, but my mother had explained to me that I needed to get used to them. If I was in control of myself, then my father couldn't be and that was important, so this was a good start. I was showing him a memory that had been brought back by something Jen had said, and we saw a little me on a swing-set with a little Jen and I smiled and pointed.
"That's me," I told them.
Sam smiled at me. "You're cute."
"Yeah, I was adorable back then," I said with a small laugh.
"And who are those two strapping boys?" Kate asked with a smile on her face.
Kate was pointing out exactly what I wanted the boys to see and Dean's eyes lit up a little and he looked at me. Once Sam, Dean and I had all attended the same school—well Sam and I had once attended the same school, and Dean had gotten out of the Impala to go and pick up his little brother. I looked at Sam and our eyes met and I knew he had a lot of questions and I only had some answers.
"Lance had a class with you," I told Sam. "I never knew cause he didn't realize it until I told him about the memory."
"You were ten," Dean mused, looking at Sam and then he looked at me. "Then you, Lanni—you were nine, right?"
I nodded at that. "And you were fourteen, now keep watching."
As we watched, a boy came over and started to pick on Jen, but I stood up for her and got right up in the boy's face—Jen wasn't as strong at nine as she was now. The boy punched me in the face, and then Dean came over and knocked the boy down on the ground. Sam told Dean to stop, and the bully ran off, and Dean asked if I was okay and I just waved it off and walked away, Jen following me.
"We never even—wow," Sam said softly. "Jen and I were both bullied and it started at a young age."
Kate smiled up at him. "Yeah but now you're all kickass."
"You really stood up to that bully," Dean told me, squeezing my hand.
"Yeah—that was the first time I was saved though so…thanks, Dean," I smiled at him. "Amazingly enough, none of us thought anymore of it. You and Sam left the school and never came back, and the bully's mother got involved when I told Bethany about what had happened and she got involved."
Dean nodded, and then I took him down the street and we ended up at my house, and I took them inside, the people inside moving rather fast, because I was speeding things up. When it was dark and I was in bed, Bethany and Marcus sat down next to my bed and smiled at me and I knew what was coming. There was another thing I wanted to show them and I definitely had a point here.
"What story tonight, Princess?" Marcus asked and Bethany showed me two different books—Hans Christian Anderson, and Grimm Brothers.
"Nice choices," Sam said with a smile.
I nodded slowly. "Now which one do you think I pick?"
"Hans," Sam said as little Lana said the same thing.
"That was kinda cute," Dean told Sam, and I laughed.
"Little Mermaid," Little Lana begged.
Mom nodded and Dean and Sam stood there with me as we listened to the story. In the Hans Christian Anderson version, the prince is saved by the little mermaid but he sees this princess instead when he wakes up and then the princess disappears. The little mermaid falls for the prince from afar and in return for legs, she has her tongue cut out and every step she takes on land feels like shards of glass but she becomes the most graceful creature regardless. The prince even wants to marry her, but the princess shows up and since the prince thinks the princess saved his life, he marries her instead. Then the only way for the little mermaid to live is to kill the prince, but she loves him too much, and dies, destined to be foam on the water for a thousand years before her spirit could move on.
"You were a morbid little girl," Dean told me as we listened.
"I thought it was beautiful, even at nine," I told him. "I mean she gave up her own life for the man she loved because he was happy and that was all that mattered to her."
Sam smiled at me. "I think it's beautiful too."
"What's that?" Dean asked as my parents left my room and it was just us watching little Lana snuggle into her covers.
We looked at the window and I nodded, little Lana's eyes open, but she was too scared to turn over. Now I knew why—my father was standing outside my window…my biological father, the yellow-eyed demon. He smiled a little, and then his eyes glowed before the real world came crashing back and I took a deep breath.
"What happened?" Dean asked me.
"I don't have that much power, Dean. I have to moderate it out," I explained to him.
Dean looked at me. "You looked so scared."
"I couldn't look, and now I know why." I told them. "I mean not only did we meet up years ago, but my father has always had a plan for me…I just need to know what that plan is so I can counter-act it."
"That's certainly what it seems like," Sam agreed with. "Let's—let's just be careful about all of this, okay? Promise me?"
I smiled at him and Kate shifted uncomfortably. "I promise, Sammy."
I was lying on my back in the grass during lunch one day, under a beautifully blossomed cherry tree, and Dean was lying on his stomach next to me, one hand propping his head up as he listened to me read Shakespeare's 'As You Like It' to him, and the other hand running along my stomach under my t-shirt.
"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players: they have their exits and their entrances; and one man in his time plays many parts, his acts being seven ages. At first the infant, mewling and puking in the nurse's arms, and then the whining schoolboy, with his satchel and shining morning face, creeping like a snail unwillingly to school. And then the lover, sighing like a furnace, with a woeful ballad made to his mistress' eyebrow. Then a soldier, full of strange oaths and bearded like the pard, jealous in honor, sudden and quick in quarrel, seeking the bubble reputation even in the canon's mouth, and then the justice, in fair round belly with good capon lined, with eyes severe and beard of formal cut, full of wise saws and modern instances; and so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts into the lean and slipper'd pantaloon, with spectacles on nose and pouch on side, his youthful hose, well saved, a world too wide for his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice, turning again toward childish treble, pipes and whistles in his sound. Last scene of all, that ends this strange eventful history, is second childishness and mere oblivion, sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans everything." I read to him.
"You read his words so beautifully," Dean said, nuzzling his nose against my cheek.
I smiled at him. "Thank you."
"Let's go to a different one in that 'Complete Works' of yours. Like one of the tragedies or romances," he said, kissing my neck swiftly, making me giggle.
"'As You Like It' could be considered a romance but yeah, it's a comedy," I told him and then jumped. "Hey! You know I'm ticklish there."
"All the more reason to listen to me—we've read this one before," he said, kissing my neck swiftly again.
I sighed loudly. "Okay. Okay—as much as I hate it…Romeo and Juliet it is."
Honestly I really did hate 'Romeo and Juliet' because I thought that the whole story was kind of disturbing—man says he'll never fall in love again, then finds an attractive much younger girl and then when things go wrong for them, they kill themselves…yeah what part of that is in any way, romantic? Still, I flipped through my 'Complete Works of William Shakespeare', and found Romeo and Juliet, flipping through to Act One, Scene Five—the only part I even kind of liked.
"Is this the party?" Dean asked, looking at the book a little.
I nodded at him. "Definitely the best part—well except for them taking themselves out of the gene pool…"
"Well aren't you feisty?" Dean asked me with a chuckle, and then without looking at the book, he started to quote it. "If I profane with my unworthiest hand this holy shrine, the gentle fine is this: my lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand to smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss."
"Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hands too much, which mannerly devotion shows in this; for saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, and palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss." I told him, looking him in the eye.
"Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?" His fingers slipped from my stomach to my side, and he rested his hand there, under my t-shirt.
I gazed into his eyes. "Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer."
"O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do; they pray, grant thou, lest faith turn to despair." He said, scooting a little closer to me.
"Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake." I said softly.
"Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take. Thus from my lips, by yours, my sin is purged." Dean said, leaning close to my face, his lips brushing across mine and then kissing me softly.
"Then have my lips the sin that they have took." I whispered as our lips slowly parted and we looked each other in the eye.
"Sin from thy lips?" Dean asked, his lips brushing across mine as he spoke. "O trespass sweetly urged! Give me my sin again."
I nodded slowly as he kissed me again, and I set the book on the ground, closing it, and then resting my hand on the nape of his neck and running my thumb along the bottom of his cheek. It was the longest kiss we had ever shared, and I didn't want it to end, but it did, and I opened my eyes and smiled at him as he ran his nose along mine.
"You kiss by the book." I whispered softly.
He chuckled a little. "Interesting we have that part memorized even though you hate the story so much."
"Yeah, but we always revert to that because you won't let me read the good stuff." I reminded him and he shrugged. "We've done that for the last week and Shakespeare comes easily."
Dean leaned down to kiss me again, but just as our lips met, Sam called us. We both reluctantly pulled away, and then got up, and I pulled my hair up into a ponytail and fixed my shirt, and then Dean picked up my book and handed it to me. I smiled, kissing him swiftly, and then we both grasped hands, our fingers entwining, before the demon showed up and his eyes flashed yellow.
I turned over in the bed, after my eyes opened suddenly, and I ran my fingers through Dean's hair. I was so thankful for him, and for some reason, that dream was making me feel naughty even though I really did hate Romeo and Juliet. I kept thinking dirty things about him…it was the Shakespeare talking—or rather him in the dream speaking Shakespeare that was doing it.
"Dean," I whispered, turning over to check and see if Kate and Sam were sleeping, and they weren't there.
Sam must have gotten up to eat or drink something and Kate had followed him because they liked their alone time two. I was waiting for the moment we started getting separate motel rooms because it was going to end up being necessary and it would also be weird because we'd be two couples demon hunting. Who even did that? When did that happen?
"I'm sleeping." Dean replied, and turned over.
"Yeah?" I asked, running my hands along his sides.
"Sleeping," he repeated, but I could tell he was smirking.
I smiled and then I nibbled on his ear, smirking at his moaning sound. Then I got out of bed and went to the door as he turned over and propped himself up on his elbows. He was giving me a look that I knew all too well and it was really making me grin.
"You have my attention," he told me.
I nodded, and stepped out of the room, looking at Sam eating Cheerios with Kate on the couch. They were talking to each other and smiling and laughing and I was really glad that Sam had a companion. As bad as I still felt about making Sam get out every time Dean and I wanted to take things to a physical level, now Sam had someone to spend time with and they enjoyed each other's company.
"I'm taking Dean into the shower," I warned them, and they nodded.
"I'm just going to eat my Cheerios and look things up on my laptop with Kate," Sam said, and I smiled at them and then shut the bedroom door and went to the bathroom, wiggling my finger at Dean.
"Come hither," I told him.
Dean raised his eyebrows. "Where is this coming from?"
I just smiled and shrugged, knowing that he was going to keep asking questions even though I knew he wasn't complaining. It was something to jump at and that was what he was supposed to be doing right now. I mean were we or were we not trying to make sure that we were having a baby?
"I had a dream you were talking Shakespeare, and it made me hot for you," I admitted with a quick nod. "I am just…so hot for you right now."
Dean smirked at me. "Yeah, cause I can speak Shakespeare."
"You could if you tried, but that's not the point," I laughed loudly. "The point is that you have to join me in the shower."
"I can do that," Dean replied quickly.
I smirked when Dean came into the bathroom with me, and I pulled my shirt off over my head, and then stepped out of my pajama pants, while Dean undressed himself as well. I turned the water on, and once it was the right temperature, I stepped in, Dean following right behind me, and his lips collided with mine as the water ran down our naked bodies. This was just another thing for us and honestly in all the getting acquainted with each other again, we hadn't once tried the shower and here was our chance.
"I miss this," I told him. "I miss our old playful selves."
Dean smiled and stroked my now wet hair. "I miss our old playful selves too. Now let me delegate this encounter this time, all right?"
"All right, but I've already got us in here," I said with a smirk. "What more is there to do I ask you?"
Dean ran his hand down from my hair to my sternum, and ran his knuckles along my collarbone. "There's a lot more to do."
I kissed him, and wrapped my arms around him, my fingers running along his back as he bit my bottom lip softly. Our breathing changed as we ran our hands along each other's bodies, and then Sam knocked on the door, and we pulled away. It wasn't enough that Sam had to interrupt during the dream but he had to do it now too?
"Yeah?" I asked, wishing Dean and I could continue.
"Dean, the phone's for you," Sam told him. "The man says it's really important."
"If it's important, you should get it," I told him, though I didn't want to.
Dean sighed loudly. "I'll be there in a minute…"
"It's okay," I told him, sighing too. "We'll pick this up later."
Note: So the next chapter is a fun episode and I can't wait to finish it and post it up. This was a good 22 pages and I hope you liked it! I need to stop telling you how many pages I've made you suffer through…Feedback is always appreciated!