AN: And so we move on to the actual plot of this story. I know I have a bit of a tendency to ramble; do you guys like or dislike it? Let me know in those delicious reviews of yours. And I'm sorry for the lack of smexings. There will be much, much more sexy times later on in the fic. In the meantime, enjoy the immense sexual tension-I mean story, yes, that is totally what I meant.


Misery Loves Company

Chapter 3 - Mind Over Matter


The shrill bleeping of the small device next to the bed woke the younger inhabitant from his sleep. Blearily he blinked, once, twice, then threw his hand at the clock in order to get it to shut up. Several unsuccessful attempts later, a larger hand cut off the painful noise, before settling on the stomach of the younger man.

Wesker lazily nuzzled closer, burying his face in Chris' soft, messy bedhead as he spooned the younger and smiled. The past three days had been nothing short of perfect...well, apart from that time when Chris had tried to hide at his sister's place, and Wesker had to go all the way across town to get him back, not to mention have a long argument with Chris' brat of a sister. He had enjoyed the game of 'cat and mouse' they'd played once they had gotten home, though...all troubles aside, he couldn't think of a time he had felt more satisfied, both mentally and physically. He heard the brunette murmur something dazedly, obviously still mostly asleep. Chris was adorable when he was in this state, although you would never catch the blonde admitting that out loud. He was also so very molestable, and Wesker would very happily admit to that, thank you. Especially when the boy shifted just enough to rub his ass enticingly against his groin...

With a low purr, the blonde starting pressing butterfly kisses to the side of Chris' neck, the hand on the brunette's stomach starting to make slow, pleasurable movements. It continued further down to a sensitive hipbone, slightly coarse fingertips rubbing the smooth skin it found there. A small noise came from his lover, a cross between a sigh and a low moan. Wesker couldn't help but grin. Soon enough he would have the poor boy not just moaning, but screaming.

"Wake up, pet."

He barely caught the soft mumble of "I don't wanna..." from his boyfriend, and chuckled. Oh, you will in a minute, dear heart. He took an earlobe between his teeth, nibbling slightly as his hand moved so it could brush against the inside of his lover's thigh. Chris shifted further, eyes fluttering in the motions of waking up. His eyes snapped open, however, when he felt the large hand moving towards his shaft.

"Nn-Wes? J-just what are you doing?"

Wesker raised an eyebrow at the indignant tone his lover put on. Normally Chris complained a little about morning sex, but he always gave in. He certainly never got like this about it. Oh well. Wouldn't be long before that tone changed from indignant to almost whoreishly pleading for him...he felt his cock give a twitch at the mental image. He smirked before pressing his shaft up against the cleft of Chris' perfect ass, giving a teasing rock of his hips.

"What do you think I'm doing, love?" He whispered in Chris' ear, giving it a soft nip. The brunette turned from pink to bright scarlet, and began squirming incessantly to get out of the blonde man's grip. Wesker frowned, tightening his grip around his lover's waist. Something was wrong. A little niggle in the back of his mind thought it had the reason, but he ignored it. He would much prefer getting the information from the source.

"Chris...?" Wesker turned the officer over onto his side, so he was face to face with the indignant man. "Is something wrong, pet?"

Chris huffed angrily, eyes narrowing. "Y-you idiot, don't you remember what day it is?"

Wesker blinked.

"I don't remember there being a National Sex Amnesty day..."

A frustrated scream was quickly followed by Chris leaping out of bed, eyes flashing with rage. The blanket had slipped off of him when he had jumped up, revealing his fully nude form to his lover. Wesker's shock was dampened by the very, very alluring sight of Chris' half-hard manhood. The urge to reach out and stroke it was immense, but the urge to not get slapped was ever-so-slightly larger.

"HEY! Eyes up HERE you perverted bastard!"

"But your dick is down there."

Chris wasn't a violent person by nature, for all he was seriously considering beating Wesker's head in with a chair. He took a deep breath, and counted to five before he released it. Calm, Chris, calm. You can do this. You can get it through that fucking stubborn head of his that you are serious about this. It's for a good cause, it's for a good cause...although his hand twitched with the yearning to smack him upside the head when he saw the man was still paying absolutely zero attention to his face.

"Today is the start of-will you goddamn look at me when I'm talking to you? is the start of Lent, Wes. Remember what I'm giving up?" The look on Wesker's face was somewhat blank, then realization flickered in his eyes.

"'re not serious. You can't be damn well serious! A couple of days without sex, sure! But a whole month? That's just ridiculous!"

"It's not ridiculous, Wesker. If you love me, you'll let me do this." The blonde sighed, knowing he was caught in a trap. He looked almost balefully at his lover, and for a moment Chris almost considered giving in.

"Christopher, you know I love you. So why do you have to give up sex for a month? It's no use fighting basic human desires. They're there for a reason, everyone knows that. So why do you insist on resisting them? It's fighting nature!" When he saw his argument was not swaying the brunette, he scowled. "For the love of all that's good, you've got to be kidding me!"

Chris crossed his arms in front of his chest with a smug look on his face. He didn't realize he would enjoy seeing his lover so stupidly indignant over lack of sex. "Well, you brought this on yourself, big guy. Maybe next time you'll be a little more grateful about your ability to have sex, mm?" And with a bark of laughter, Chris strolled out of the room and towards the shower.


Well, fuck.

After Chris had left the house to go pick up his sister, Wesker lay in bed wondering just what he'd gotten himself into by letting the boy have his fun like this. Birkin had been completely unhelpful (no surprises there, after all it was Birkin). All the scientist had been able to babble was about how if Wesker thought that it was all a front, then Chris would be at his knees in days. But he couldn't think of any other way to persuade the brunette that no sex for a month was a bad idea, so he had been forced to go with it. He should really have known that Birkin would be so terrible with relationships. The amount of times he'd listened to the man bawling about his wife and kids really did say that he was not an expert on the subject. Then again, neither was Wesker.

He finally dragged himself out of his depressing thoughts long enough to get ready for work and grab a homemade savory muffin from the counter (one of his favorite things about living with someone who could actually cook). But his train of thought took up the subject once more once he was stuck in the morning rush-hour traffic. To distract himself, he flicked through his radio almost absently.

Classical, not station...ugh, this is what counts for music these days? News many times are they going to play that damn meerkat advert? It wasn't funny the first time...but Chris loves the thing. He even wanted to get one of those damn toys with the little clothes and everything. He even wanted a replica of the damn animal's suit! I'd much prefer him in a bathrobe, with nothing underneath. Or just naked in general. Or wearing one of those garter belts with the stockings-

He practically smacked himself when he realized that even a stupid insurance advert got him thinking about Chris. And sex. And sex with Chris. And sex with Chris right now in the back of his car. He rubbed his forehead, trying to dispel the oncoming headache as his car inched forward in the heavy traffic. Fuck. Actually, no. Fucking is what supposedly had gotten him into this mess. While he wasn't sure of every intention behind Chris' refusal of sex, he thought that too much sex (as if there was such a thing) was part of it. Somehow, if he wanted to make sure his balls didn't burst or wasn't constantly suffering from wanker's cramp, he'd need to worm his way around every reason Chris had for doing such a thing and completely disprove them. For while he loved Chris so much it actually hurt sometimes, this whole sex-ban was a little extreme.

Hmm...and of course Wesker, being Wesker, got an inkling of an idea in his brain. Only an inkling, but he was sure that with some good old fashioned TLC he could nurture it into a full on plan. As the lights finally turned green, he pushed on the accelerator and continued to work, brain working at one hundred and twenty percent to work this out. But amongst all this, one thought reigned supreme.

If this is what I'm like less than twelve hours without the fuck am I going to survive a month?


Chris couldn't remember feeling as good as this for a long, long time.

It was as if he got some sort of sick kicks from seeing his lover in obvious pain. Well, maybe not actual pain, but stress from not being able to get laid. For him, it was sort of like revenge for all those times he had barely been able to walk right in the morning. Boy, did it feel good coming into work and being able to sit down without pain in his ass. He jiggled from side-to-side in his chair gleefully, enjoying the absence of pain as he rubbed his ass against the leather of the chair. Chris couldn't remember a plan of his going so good in, well...ever.

So far, one of his main worries about blue-balling the captain was proving to be unfounded. Wesker wasn't suddenly screaming at everyone in the office, nor was he ruling the place with an iron fist. In fact, Chris hadn't seen him all morning. He knew the man was there, it just appeared that the blonde was staging some sort of hide-out in his office to avoid running into Chris at the moment. At least this means I get a little peace during the day for once...

"Hey, sport." Chris glanced up to see Forest walking over to him with a brimming cup of coffee. Chris gave a small wave of acknowledgement, fiddling with his pen as he read through a report. A few moments later, he realized Forest had not gone past him, as he thought the man would, but was standing in front of his desk with a strange look on his face. Something between puzzlement and suspicion. He raised an eyebrow.

" okay?"

The officer almost jumped up, apparently startled by his friend's query. "WHA-huh? Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, I'm cool. I was just wondering, you know..." Forest trailed off, obviously hoping Chris would pick up the subject. Not that Chris felt he had much choice. He knew what it was Forest wanted to know, although he had been hoping to avoid it for a few days, at least. Forest was never really much of a secret-keeper, and once he knew something, everyone in a ten-mile radius would know in a matter of hours. His reputation as a blabbermouth didn't really concern Chris, though. The story would have come out at some point during the month, anyway.

"Wondering what, Forest?"

Forest at least had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "Uh...well...the hell's up with you and Wesker?"

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play games with me, dude. You know I don't got a problem with you and the captain, but something's up with him. It's not like the bastard to not come and torment us every hour or so. When he got in he practically ran to his office and locked himself in there."

Normally, Chris would have been concerned and a little worried. Normally, that is. What Chris could tell from what Forest had said was that Wesker was not in any trouble whatsoever, or doing anything untoward. Instead, the thirty-five year old blonde STARS captain, well-known for making even the most rebellious people obey him with one cold glare, was sulking like a little child who wasn't allowed to play with their favorite toy (which was a more accurate analogy than he would like).

Knowing there was absolutely no use in keeping a secret from Forest (one way or another he would find out) Chris sighed in resignation. "Well, he's just sulking because I told him I was giving up sex for Lent."

A moment of pure silence ensued. Then, without warning, the other man burst into roaring laughter.

"Gi-give up s-sex for Lent? W-with Wesker?" That was all the redhead managed to choke out before he doubled over, clutching his stomach almost in agony. Chris gave an embarrassed huff, eyes flitting about the room, where he could see several of his coworkers were looking at him in utter confusion. Barry just seemed embarrassed, averting his gaze when Chris looked at him, but Jill simply smirked and gave him a thumbs up before returning to her work. Forest eventually stopped laughing after about half a minute (but what felt like eternity to Chris).

"Y-you're goddamn serious about this, bro? You're giving up sex for Lent?"

Chris found himself somewhat proudly admitting the truth, as if he was a better man for overcoming such basic desires. Forest shook his head, still chuckling, before lapsing into quiet contemplation. When he looked back up, Chris was slightly startled to see that he actually looked...worried?

"You, sure that's wise, man?"

Chris snorted. "Look who's talking about 'wise'. I distinctly remember last year's Halloween party, and you spiking the punch with absinthe. Whilst I've never seen Irons start a fight with an inflatable bat before, I-"

"Hey, shut the fuck up, dude! He could be hearing us right now!" Forest glanced around, a look of grim fear on his face. Irons had never quite worked out who had done it, but had promised supreme punishment for whoever had. Forest liked not working every weekend for six months, thank you. He shot a sharp glare at Chris before continuing.

"Look, man, I'm just saying you should think about the collateral damage. If you're blue-balling him, then he's obviously gonna have a shorter temper. As well all know, that fuse may as well be non-existent normally, but now? I just hope you know what you're doing."

Chris sighed. "Yeah, yeah, I know...but I had to do something. I, uh...mean..." Chris had suddenly gone from being the dominant one in the conversation to a submissive little bitch. Much like my sex life..."...d-do you even know what he's damn well done to me? Like last Thurs-" he cut himself off, shaking his head. Forest simply raised an eyebrow, looking a little confused before realising what his friend was getting at.

"O-oh fuck, look, I don't need to know that kinda shit. J-just-ugh!" Forest's tone of disgust didn't really bother Chris. He knew Forest wasn't against him because of his homosexuality, but Forest was and always would be a red-blooded male chasing after anything in a skirt. Watching the man go, his train of thought trailed back to Wesker. Chris glanced at the man's office window, where he could see Wesker pacing in his office. Maybe Forest had a point. Then again, maybe not. Only time would tell.

But Chris tended to live for the here and now, and what mattered was that in the present, all was going according to plan. Even the incident at home this morning had gone remarkably without a hitch. He smirked as he wiggled his ass in the chair once more, relishing the lack of pain, then leaned back and relaxed.

Yup, it felt good to be the king.


AN: And so the torment shifts from Chris to Wesker...well, the guy had to get payback for being so god damn horny all the time. Anyone who gets the meerkat reference gets 300 internet points. Also, I am so sorry this took me so long to get out, I've been drawing a lot, then my laptop broke and blah blah bitch whine moan complain. Promise that I won't be too late with my next update. I also can't stop saying blue balls in this chapter...and I kinda made Forest sound a bit like a stoner. Anyway, let me know what you think and I hope you enjoyed!