DISCLAIMER: I do not own
A/N: This one's for Jesa463.
By now you probably know most of these one-shots are a tad risqué . Whilst this isn't as risqué as some previous ones it does contain a stripping Doctor, and a very large cake.
May the chaos ensue :
Rory was exploring the TARDIS, when he came across a rather unusual, and unsettling sight. Situated bang in the centre of the TARDIS corridor was a gigantic cake.
The last time he had seen such a sight was on his stag night. It was a most unforgettable night, and had been the night where his life had turned completely topsy turvy. His life was now changed for the better, but unfortunately for Rory, The Doctor had ruined the way he looked at both cake, and strippers. This mean that the sight of the gigantic cake left Rory both panicked, and extremely nervous.
Blinking away his jittering nerves, and swallowing down hard on the rising lump in his throat, he edged warily towards the object that was taunting him so. He wasn't entirely sure why he was going forwards, as every gut instinct in his body was telling him to run, and to never look back. This was one event that he should just walk away from.
Arriving at the humungous cake he found himself feeling even more terrified that previously. Butterflies played havoc within his stomach, and his heart began pumping unbearably fast. On top of all those things, he was beginning to feel incredibly nauseous. It was the sort of sickening fear that he had so often felt when Amy _ on more than one occasion _ had forced him to watch the sort of scary movie where something pops up at you every five seconds.
Rory had ever right to be fearful, for waiting inside the cake was a giggling Timelord on a sugar high.
Minutes passed, and soon there was a tense silence that filled Rory with dread. Unfortunately for poor unsuspecting Rory, that silence was soon outlived.
" Boo!" The Doctor sprung from the cake like a jack in a box with a huge spastic grin widening his features, " Hello Rory!" He waved madly at Rory.
" Err_ Um _ What?" Rory tried to regain his composure, with little success.
" I just wanted to know what the whole person in cake, person jumps out cake, thing's about." The Doctor exclaimed merrily, " I mean, what is the purpose of it?" He asked, brow knitted in deep thought.
" Um_ Well_ Actually." Rory stammered, but was quickly interrupted by the hyper- active alien.
" Come on Pond! You must know! You had one on your stag night after all!" The Doctor was jumping up and down on the inside of the cake now.
" Actually it's Williams." He protested feebly.
" Don't be ridiculous! It's Pond! " The Doctor pointed out, " Now are you going to tell me about the whole cake business, or what?" The Timelord fixed his excited green eyes onto Rory. He looked exactly like a curious cat with his unblinking eyes.
Rory sighed in defeat. He would never be able to win an argument against The Doctor. Well, if you can't beat them, join them, " It's actually what comes after the person comes out of the cake. " Rory licked his, by now, far too dry lips.
" And what's that Pond?" The Doctor asked, confused.
Rory groaned, and rubbed at his eyes in a mild frustration at the use of his improper name. A blush of embarrassment was quickly setting in, and flooding across his face, " They um _ Take off their clothes." He swallowed, and bit down on his lower lip.
" They what!" The Doctor squealed in surprise, " Why in Rassilon do they do that!" His face was contorted, and he took on the spitting image of a child learning the world was spinning at a million miles per hour for the first time.
" Well _ It makes the people who are watching happy." Rory immediately regretted what he said.
" Happy? Hmm." The Doctor hummed in contemplation, climbed from the cake, and then before Rory could so much as yell at him to stop, began pulling at his shirt buttons.
Rory wanted to close his eyes, but they seemed to be stuck on open as their default.
The Doctor gradually pulled out each individual button.
If Rory hadn't been embarrassed before, he certainly was now. He wanted to protest but his mouth held no words for what was occurring.
The Doctor was grinning like a mad man as he stripped at an unbearably slow rate. First his jacket slipped to the ground, then he slid his shirt from his shoulders. By the time The Doctor's hand was on his belt buckle Rory was practically hyperthentalateing.
The Doctor dropped the belt to the ground with an almighty clatter, and then bent down as he wiggled out of his trousers, revealing his bow-tie print boxers. When he began tugging at his boxers Rory finally found his voice.
" Err no that's ok. I think I'm happy now. Very happy! No need to take those off." His voice was crackled, and his breathing came out in short spurts. He was feeling unbearably hot, and uncomfortable.
This wasn't exactly how he had imagined how his wedding night would go.
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