I knelt in the cold, hard earth. Wind whisked past my ears, untucking strands of curly hair from behind them. I sighed and retucked them.
As I gazed at his gravestone, I couldn't help but remember when it was his hands tucking – or pulling – my hair behind my ears.
Tears began to slip down my face.
"Why?" I whispered, reaching for the gravestone and laying my hands on the cool porcelain. "Why?"
The wind blew harder, and rain began to fall. The whole earth, it seemed, the whole universe was weeping right then. Weeping for me. Weeping for his family.
Weeping for Fred.
"I never loved you," I dared to murmur, wishing with all my heart it might be true. "I couldn't've loved you. It was a.. it was just a silly crush. It was always just a silly crush.."
I slumped down next to the gravestone, heart beating irregularly. "I do love Ron," I whispered pleadingly. "Please, don't you believe it? Everyone believes it. And you do too.. you have to.
"I have to."
"I do though," I said after a few minutes of rain beating down on him, on me, on the earth. "I swear I do. But.. the way I loved you.." I sighed wistfully. "I loved you a completely different way. I loved you in a way that I knew wasn't right or correct and it was dangerous and I was heading straight for heartbreak and all that. And I loved Ron too, in a different way – I love Ron. He makes me happy and angry and joyful and infuriated and wonderful." I sighed, this time with something that might be happiness. "I love him," I said softly. "But I loved you at the same time. Is that possible, Fred?"
"I miss you. Won't you come home?"
So um. I don't really ship them, this was just sort of an.. experiment? Review pleease xx