I could take not being introduced when accompanying Benjamin, I could even take the snickers and whisperings of ill things involving me, when others thought I was not looking. But the exchange between myself and Lady Manton was one I could not handle. Under her glare, I felt as if I was nothing but trash, someone that does not even deserve to be looked upon in society, instead of the rich singer that I was.
I would have stood my ground and not of given her the choice of whether I stayed or went, but I felt that if I had been in her prescence any longer she would have noticed how my eyes had started to water, just like they were now, while retreating to my room. Forcing myself to remain strong while under the watchful eyes of my fellow voyagers, I carried on until I reached my cabin. Closing the door behind me as I went inside, the tears could no longer be held back. Everything came back to me at once, the snickers, the glares, being excluded from conversations. Everything. Curling up into a ball on my bed, I cried away the pain inflicted upon me by the other passengers.
This was how I was found by my maid, Emma, hours later. Sympathy written all over the young girls face. She explained to me how Benjamin had told her to come and help prepare me for dinner at his table. This was not something I was pleased to partake in, but I felt as if I could not turn down the offer from my lover, as he was always so kind to me. After Emma finished the final few touches to my hair, she told me I was ready. Those words instantly caused me to become nervous and unprepared for what was to come.
This she could tell because just as I was walking out the door to dinner, she bravely called out, "Just remember who you are Madam Aubart, talented, beautiful and strong. Remember this, no matter what others may say."
This brought a smile to my face, the first one since boarding the Titanic, and with those words in my head I knew I could make it through this, and it was all thanks to Emma.