AN: I'm really getting sick of Glee, but if I can't stop watching then I'm going to do something with the torture I put myself through. So I've decided to take whatever Glee gives me over the rest of this season and write what I think should have happened. So that's what I'll be doing here. Each week I'm going to watch the episode, take what I like and then switch things around so they make more sense. So enjoy. As always I own nothing.
"And it hurts me more than you know, all at once."
The song came to an end, and there wasn't a dry eye in the room. Quinn grasped onto Rachel's hand, pulling the tiny diva into her lap. Rachel shifted slightly to get a better look at Quinn as the blonde wrapped her arms around her waist. She held her tightly, cherishing the moment as their friends gave them a teary eyed applause.
She knew it would end, and before long it did. Rachel was off her lap and back sitting beside her husband to be. Quinn felt her stomach turn. She wheeled herself to her previous spot, and began to wish that Rachel picked a different place to sit. With Rachel two seats away, Finn was left between Quinn and the brunette; always in between.
Quinn was beginning to think she was some sort of masochist. It was the only thing that could explain why, that despite being quite a pessimist, she would consistently hope and believe that Rachel might return her feelings.
She refused to look to her side, and instead focused on Brittany out in front. A smile graced her lips as the taller blonde began to sing. Against her initial wish, her head turned to the side to glance up at Santana. The Latina had an innocent, love-struck look on her face. Quinn wondered if she looked the same when she watched Rachel sing. Probably, but if she did she was certain that no one would pay her enough mind to notice. No one ever paid her much attention, expect Rachel.
Before long Santana joined in, as well as a number of the other Gleeks who were dancing with their significant others. Hazel orbs drifted downward and stopped at her unusable limbs. Quinn always enjoyed dancing, but never really knew how much she loved it until she lost use of her legs.
Quinn shook her head out of those thoughts and focused back on the performance. Out of the corner of her eye it looked as though Rachel was giving her s sympathetic or perhaps guilty look. Through sheer curiosity she chanced a glance, but those brown eyes looked to be fully entranced in the number being performed in front of them. Not one to get caught looking, Quinn did the same.
A bittersweet smile reemerged on her face at looking at her two best friends dancing together, not a care in the world. She was happy for them obviously, but she was equally as envious. The number came to an end, and the pair shared a chaste kiss with all the other couples watching on warmly. They shared hugs all around and then proceeded to exit the choir room.
Wheeling around had gotten easier, but Quinn still had some difficulty, and so she really appreciated how empty the halls were after school. She had made it to her locker and was beginning to spin her combination when she heard someone calling, "Quinn." She turned to see Rachel running up to her. "Hey," she continues shyly once she's right in front of the blonde.
"Hey yourself," Quinn replies, following with a short laugh.
"It's nice to sing together again" Her head is tilted down, far more down than it would need to be to look Quinn in the eye. She seems to be focusing on the blonde's lap instead of her face. "We were pretty good in there, weren't we?"
Quinn certainly thinks that they were better than just pretty good, but just lets out a "yeah" instead. A blush seems to appear on the tan girl's face, but Quinn's sure she's just imagining things. Quinn's not sure if Rachel suspects why she chose the song, and she doesn't really want to find out. She turns back to her locker and re-spins her combo.
"How's physical therapy been?"
"Well, I've barely had any feeling in my legs. So in short it sucks." The words leave her lips before she thinks them, and she instantly regrets them. The girl beside her is looking away while nervously playing with her hands. "Hey, I'm sorry." She turns back towards Rachel.
"Why should you be sorry?" She's giving her that look again.
"We've already gone over this, Rach." Quinn grabs onto her hands and pulls her down so that their eyes better meet. "Me being in this chair has nothing to do with you." Rachel nods her head slowly. "I'm just frustrated, okay?" She nods her head again. Reluctantly Quinn lets her go, letting the brunette straighten out her back.
"Do you want me to come with you?"
"Rachel it's okay." For the third time she spins her locker combo, this time determined to just get out. "You don't have to." Her tone is harsher than she intended, and being the masochist she's sure she is, she can't help but look at her one more time. If you took a look at her face you'd be convinced that Quinn had just kicked Rachel's puppy. Not that Rachel had a puppy, or that Quinn could kick said fake puppy or would kick it, but you get the gist of it. "Really, it's okay. I understand. You're busy with Glee, and NYADA, and stuff."
"I actually cleared out my schedule, so I'm free," she explains. "I really want to come." It's those golden brown eyes and the way she pouts that does Quinn in. They agree to have Rachel take her to her next few sessions. The shorter girl leaves, and Quinn is left to finally gather her things.
Her next session comes the following day. Rachel drives her as they agreed upon, and then helps as well. Tan hands are on her legs, lifting them, helping her stretch. On the outside Quinn's smiling, on the inside she's crying.
To have Rachel's touching her, caressing her; she's wanted that for months, years even. Right now she doesn't know what's worse. Maybe it's the fact that Rachel's touch is that of a friend and not a lover, or the fact that she can't even feel the brunette's hands. Can't feel the way her fingers dance up her thigh, or the way she gently massages her calves.
When Rachel looks down at her lovingly, she decides that it might be better that she can't feel anything. The way Rachel soothes her legs looks to be light and soft, as though she's afraid that she might break her. Quinn's certain that she wouldn't be able to control her body's reaction to such featherweight touches. And to let out a moan or any other sound of arousal during a physical therapy session wouldn't only be embarrassing, but with Rachel there she'd never be able to stay in the same room with the girl ever again.
It went on for a tortuously, seemingly never ending stream of time. But she survived and soon found herself outside her house. "Thanks for coming with me. It was… nice." She turns to the window before continuing. "I'm usually alone," she admits.
"What about your mom?" Rachel asks, her voice full of concern and eyes dropping.
"She drives me there, but never stays." She gives a shrug. "At least she's not drinking… much." Rachel's face has fallen further at hearing that. "Hey, do you want to come inside? Do some girl stuff, maybe have a sleepover."
"I'd love to, but I have to get to Santana's"
"Yeah, we need to rehearse for a number we're preforming tomorrow," Rachel explains. Quinn hides her frown. Jealously of Finn is natural, but now she's starting to get jealous of anyone who spends time with the pint sized diva. "As we've all come to see this past year, Santana and I make quite the duo. If you recall our rendition of 'We Found Love' it was quite splendid. Although I was hesitant with that number when Santana first proposed that song, but her current choice is far more acceptable. And I'm sure you'll enjoy it very much."
"Oh yeah? Which song is it?" she asks, in an attempt to distract herself.
"It's a surprise," Rachel replies with a cheeky grin. "You'll see tomorrow. Now let's get you inside." Rachel exits her car and pulls Quinn's wheelchair out from the back. She helps her get in and then pushes her to her front door. Judy's waiting inside and takes over from there. As much as Quinn's expected she's been drinking. Not a minute after the door closes behind them does Judy collapse on the couch.
Quinn goes to the kitchen to grab some food while she does her homework. Navigating her home is far more problematic than school, especially with a drunken mother who tries to consistently help out. She returns to the living room with a sandwich. Honestly she'd like to cook, but using the stove while in chair would most likely prove disastrous.
The rest of the day passes faster than she'd expect, and before long she's once again in the choir room. Rachel and Santana have taken the floor, but have yet to announce their choice of song. Quinn waits anxiously as the music begins.
She recognizes the song, but of course they all recognize every song that's been sung this week. It's a bit more upbeat and sexual than Quinn recalls. Her hazel eyes rake up and down Rachel's form. The lyrics are only half heard, but she can't help but laugh inwardly at the ones she does hear.
Every single word fits her own feelings perfectly. If she didn't know better she'd think that Santana had picked this song on purpose. Quinn knew that the Latina cared about her; she just had her own way of showing it. But even then this was just plain cruel, and while Santana could do cruel and do it well, she wouldn't do it under the current circumstances. That and she never did come out to her best friend.
The song ends and they share an embrace. Rachel looks to be more enthused about it than Santana. In fact the taller brunette seems to be fighting the urge to just push her away. This causes Quinn to perk up a bit. After another number or two, Quinn wasn't really paying much attention, they're out and on their way.
Quinn goes over to her locker to gathers her things. Once she's finished she looks around to find no Rachel. The brunette had insisted on meeting at Quinn's locker before they went to her next session. She waits for a few minutes than decides to go searching for Rachel instead.
She looks through hall after hall and yet still no sign of that brown head of hair. She enters one corridor to find Santana at her locker. "Hey Santana!" she calls while rolling over. "Have you seen Rachel?" She shifts her body to turn to Quinn while revealing a small picture of the same brunette that Quinn was looking for.
"She was just here. She went that way," she says pointing the direction opposite of where Quinn had come from.
"Why do you have that picture in your locker?" Quinn asks, motioning towards the portrait of Rachel. Her voice is full of the same jealousy she had when they sang earlier. Rachel hadn't given her one of her senior portraits. Most of the pictures she had of the diva included Finn, expect for that one Christmas picture that all the girls had taken. Santana looks over to picture Quinn is asking about and rolls her eyes when she sees it.
"She just gave it to me, okay? Asked me to hang it." she answers after giving a groan of annoyance. "Don't judge me. Most of the time she makes me want to strangle her with those knee highs of hers, but she's not half bad. Besides you became friends with her first." Santana finishes by crossing her arms over her chest and turning back to her locker.
Quinn leaves her be and continues looking for Rachel. She's very grateful that the Latina was too preoccupied in trying to deny that she actually thought that Rachel was kind of cool to really pay attention to her. Santana had been claiming for a while that she had excellent gaydar, but she hadn't sensed Quinn yet. Or if she had, she hadn't made mention of it. Either way she didn't need to give her any reassurance.
Getting nowhere, Quinn decides to return to her locker. She sees Rachel not far away running around frantically. The blonde calls to her, and Rachel runs straight towards her with open arms. The brunette embraces her in a hug. She pulls away and the look of sheer joy she had when she first saw Quinn is replaced with one of worry.
"Where have you been? I told you to wait right here for me." Quinn can't help but smile at how cute she looks right now. "I almost sent out for search and rescue. I was so worried and, and… Why are you smiling like that?"
"Because you're being adorable," Quinn admits before she can catch herself. Rachel's cheeks redden, and this time Quinn sure she didn't just imagine the blush.
"Oh, well um." Quinn smiles wider at leaving Rachel speechless which in turn makes the brunette turn a deeper shade of red. "Thank you. We should get going. Don't want to be late." Quinn agrees and they head off for the parking lot.
It's some time later, and Rachel is stretching Quinn's legs. She's lightly pushing forward, letting Quinn's leg press against her abdomen. Rachel pulls back allowing Quinn's body to relax. She leaves one hand on her calf as the other travels down to her thigh, massaging it slightly. Her fingers are lightly dancing over a very sensitive area which is only covered by the material of her leggings. They switch to up to drawing tiny circles, and Quinn lets out a squeak.
"Stop," she pleads through a bit of laughter. "I'm ticklish."
"Sorry," she says and stops until realization hits her. "Wait, you can feel this?" She presses her fingers on her thigh. Quinn's eyes widen, and her breath hitches in her throat because she can. She can feel. She can feel Rachel's fingers delicately moving up and down her leg. Unable to form words, she nods instead, tears building in her eyes. "How about here?" Another nod. "And here?" Quinn wipes her face dry before giving another nod. Rachel's eyes are a bit teary too. "It's working," she chokes out. She lets go of Quinn's leg and lays it back down.
"I can't believe it," Quinn says when word return to her.
"I can." Quinn looks over to her. "You promised that you'd be dancing at Nationals, remember?" The blonde nodded again. "You're going to keep that promise, aren't you?"
"Anything for you. Now help me up." Rachel carefully placed a hand under her back. With her free hand she gripped onto one of Quinn's and slowly lifted her into a sitting position. She looked over at the clock. "We're almost done now. Can you go get someone to help me into my chair?" Rachel scoffs.
"I've told you before Quinn; I'm more than capable of getting you back into my chair myself." Quinn bites her lip and looks around apprehensively. "I'm serious. I'm very strong despite my small stature. I've told you before that I have a strict daily workout regimen." She can see that Quinn still won't budge. "Here let me show you." She pulls Quinn's chair over and then returns the girl herself. She places an arm below her back, the other underneath her legs. Without further warning she swiftly lifts the blonde up.
"Rachel what are you doing?" Quinn shrieks. She feels the need to flail, but she can't move her legs, and not to mention that flailing would only help Rachel drop her than anything else. So instead she just wraps her arms around Rachel's shoulders. She grips tighter as the brunette lowers her down gently. She breathes out a sigh of relief at now being safely in her chair. "Don't do that!" She swats Rachel's leg playfully. The brunette is smiling at her, giggling. "I'm serious."
"You don't sound serious," Rachel teases.
"Well I am." She doesn't sound too convincing. "You could've dropped me."
"But I didn't." She has a proud look on her face.
"No… You didn't," Quinn says, rolling her eyes.
"Come on. Let's take you home."
AN: If you've liked it so far expect an update a day or two after the next episode. Reviews are appreciated. Thank You.