AN: Damn. Season Finale and I'm actually somewhat pleased (at least in terms of Faberry). Finchel is broken up, Quinn is still single, Quinn bought train tickets to ensure that she and Rachel stay in touch, Rachel got into NYADA, Rachel's in New York, Finn's in the army where he'll be far far away from Rachel. I'm far from satisfied, but Glee has reeled me in for Season 4. (God Damnit!) Also the first bit is take directly from the episode. (Love that part)
"What's this?" Rachel asks, taking the envelope from Quinn.
"A Metro pass from New York to New Haven," Quinn explains, as Rachel opens it. "I got one for me into New York." The brunette is looking at her now with a look Quinn isn't sure she's seen before. "You know, everyone keeps talking about staying in touch, and I want to make sure we do." It isn't sufficient; she wants to say more.
"Thank you." The tiny diva pulls her into a hug. "Thank you, so much." As always they fit so perfectly together. But also as always they have to pull apart, and Quinn makes her way to leave. Rachel stops her by lightly grasping onto her arm, "Wait." The blonde turns around immediately. "I have something for you too. Can you follow me to my locker?" Quinn complies and the exit the restroom together, arms interlocked.
Quinn's mind races as she considers what Rachel could have gotten for her. She knows quite well that the brunette takes her time when choosing a gift. It has to be perfect, although right now the only thing that she thinks would be a perfect gift would be having Rachel Berry as her girlfriend. But it would be ridiculous to think that Rachel's present would be herself, and even if it was they would have to go to her locker for that.
Absentmindedly Quinn lets her hand drop. She takes hold of Rachel's and lets their fingers interlace. The look Rachel gives her at the action is missed, and before she can be caught the brunette drops her attention to the floor. "Hey Quinn?" The blonde turns to her. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Who was it that you wanted to dance at Prom with?"
"Rach, it's not important."
"Yes it is. You never got to dance with him." She wants to just say that she did because the brunette is feeling guilty for 'stealing' Quinn one dance. But she doesn't want to tell her. Not yet. "Please, Quinn. We're friends and friends talk about things like this. Besides we're graduating soon."
Quinn huffs at Rachel's insistence, but they're at her locker now. "What was it you wanted to give me?" The pint sized diva is miffed at being denied an answer but proceeds to open her locker. She shuffles through her things and pulls out a tiny picture from inside her bag and hands it to Quinn.
"A senior portrait?" Quinn is caught off guard. A part of her just thinks, about time. But that's overridden by the fact that Rachel didn't forget about her. "Thanks."
"Yeah, I'm sorry it took so long especially after you gave me one so soon after we got them. It's not in my locker," she adds quickly. "I would… hang it, but I like to carry it around with me." The bell rings, signaling them to get to class. Quinn says her goodbyes and heads towards her next period, telling Rachel they can finish this discussion later.
When she's out of sight she hugs the tiny portrait close to her heart. Her own little piece of Rachel Berry. It isn't much, but until her plan bears fruit it's the best she's got. She reasons that it would be inappropriate to smother the singer right now. Not with her recent breakup.
With her luck she might send the two back into each other's arms. It's a complete possibility that Rachel would think that Quinn had in fact plotted to break them up. Not true; Quinn had been fully supportive. Of Rachel that is. She'd stick by the tiny diva until the end of time.
She'd just have to keep up with this 'friends' thing until Rachel finally falls in love with her, and pray to God that the brunette doesn't find someone better in New York. There was nothing solid about her plan. But she was confident that it would work out in the end. They visit each other once or twice a month, more if possible. They'd hang out and Quinn would be able to try out those vegan dishes that she learned to cook. By the time Glee started she was feeling quite pleased how everything had turned out.
Towards the end of their meeting the juniors and sophomores preform their goodbyes to the seniors. Rachel and Quinn share fleeting glances during their song, which neither of them catches. She's a bit teary eyed, and once Mr. Schue dismisses them she's the first to get up. But Santana gets a grip on her arm and holds her back, saying, "We need to talk."
"Okay, what about?"
"Just wait one sec." Quinn turns to where the Latina is looking to Mr. Schue and Finn leaving. Rachel is already gone, and the blonde has a funny feeling that she knows what's going on. "Can you just get it over with? We know, we all know." Everyone in the room dumbly nods. "Just say something."
"Santana, back off," she warns.
"She's right, though," Sam interjects, standing up besides Santana. "I always thought there was something weird going on when we were together, but…" he scoffs at his own obliviousness.
"Sam you can't possibly be agreeing with this."
"Yes he can," Mercedes adds. "And I am too. He knows what it's like to fight for someone." She looks towards him, gives him a smile then continues. "It isn't easy, and Rachel won't make it any easier just like I didn't." She walks over to Sam and links arms. "But it'll be worth it. Trust me, Quinn. No one deserves Rachel's love more than you."
"Are you all insane?" she shrieks. They have to be, but they all look so serious and caring at the same time. The last time she remembers everyone looking at her like this was right after the crash. Her eyes scour the room, trying to find one person who might not be fully invested in this mess. They eventually find their target. "Tina! You've been supportive of Finn and Rachel from the beginning. You can't be going along with all this!"
"I did," the Asian girl admits. "But," Quinn groans because that's the last word she wants to hear Tina say. "But with everything that's happened lately, I don't think I can anymore. They were cute and sweet," she explained. "And no matter how much they fought, they always got back together and I thought that if they could make it then anyone could. I needed something to make me think that after Mike moved away for college that we'd still be together."
"You can't be serious. You can't be serious." Quinn repeats. This has to be some sort of bad dream, she concludes. It's her mind having an overload of Rachel Berry. She's pacing around frantically, shaking her head, hoping that sooner or later she's wake up when she feel hands on her shoulders.
"Quinn, I know this is a bit overwhelming," Kurt says. "And while I don't approve of Santana's method," he admits, earning himself a glare that goes unnoticed. "I do think you should come clean to Rachel. The worst that could happen is that she doesn't return your feelings," Quinn scoffs. "But what if she does?"
She tries to ignore him, to ignore all of them. "Look, Quinn. I should be supportive of this; Finn's my brother and I love him as such. But he what he tries, he'll never be the person Rachel needs him to be. But you can… Maybe you already are." He lets go of her now that she's settled down and returns to the group. Then he says one last thing. "And I apologize for what I said before the accident. You understand what it's like to be gay more than I thought at the time."
"See, Q? Everyone agrees. So get out there and get your girl," she orders.
"You think it's that easy!" she screams at them. "You think I don't want to!" They're probably pushed her a bit too far because she doesn't look scary; she looks downright terrifying. "I'm happy that some of you guys have found that special someone," her voice is a bit subdued now. "I really am." She takes a few deep breathes. "But don't even try to make me do this."
"Q, we're just trying to make you happy," Brittany chirps in. She's the one member that Quinn can't get mad at. Sweet, innocent Brittany. It calms her down somewhat to hear the taller blonde speak. "If tell her, I'm sure she'll say the same thing back. Just like with me and San."
"It's not that simple Britt. You loved Artie when you were with him, right?"
"Of course I did."
"But you loved Santana too?"
"I loved both of them."
"Exactly. Santana knew you loved her, but with Rachel…" she lets out a sigh. "I don't know with her. And if I had some sort of confirmation that she might love me back than I'd go for it. But I don't," she reaches into her bag for Rachel's portrait, "All I have is this. You guys have seen what the past few years of my life has been like. Rachel's the one bright spot, the one perfect thing I have in life. And I'm not going to risk losing her because I like her more than a friend."
She left without another word from either herself of anyone else in the room. With their impending graduation, her heart has already felt heavy. But with all those words now said out loud, the reality of it all starts to crash down on her. She still had no idea if Rachel was even in to girls. And with Rachel attending NYADA, there would be an abundance of people who shared her talents and interests. It'd be another Jesse; someone worth Rachel's attention. If that would happen, then Quinn would end up falling into the same pattern. But as long as Rachel's happy, right?
She drove home and quickly went up to her room where she recited her valedictorian speech in the mirror. She had focused on the idea of saying goodbye and how true friends never really say goodbye. It was her thank you for the family that she'd made with Glee; the same one that was encouraging her to come out to Rachel.
Quinn goes back to her bag to retrieve Rachel's portrait. She gives it one last look and a kiss before turning it around and placing it face down on her nightstand. Thoughts of the brunette are just too much right now. She's about to lie down when the writing catches her eye.
I love you too.
It doesn't mean anything. It doesn't prove anything. She's just returning the words that Quinn had said the night before Nationals. The brunette hadn't fully interpreted her meaning back then so of course she meant these words in a platonic sense. The world wasn't kind enough to Quinn to let someone love her back.
The next few days fly by in a blur. Quinn recalls hugs, and tears. She remembers applause for her speech, and goodbyes. Quinn also vividly remembers that one Cheerio that seems to have an obsession with Rachel now. She had to give a death glare a couple of times before she decided to stop her fangirling.
Those words repeat in her head again and again. She's hasn't told anyone, and won't dare ask Rachel what she meant. But she has to know. She can't sleep at night, and soon Rachel will be leaving for New York. If she lets this chance slip her by, it may be the only one she gets.
Or it could be a catastrophe where she gets her heart broken. And with her feelings out there, her plan to get Rachel to fall in love with her will be out the window.
She picks up Rachel the day her train leaves. They share a hug and make promises that nothing will ever ruin their friendship. It's comforting in one way but nerve wreaking in another. They walk to the station where all their friends are already waiting. They give her goodbyes, and hugs, and well wishes. She gives Kurt a painfully long hug full of tears and makes him promise that next year he'll be right there next to her.
After they're all done, they clear the way for Quinn. Their way of saying, 'one last shot.' The train's leaving a few more minutes, and Quinn is clutching onto both of Rachel's hands. They're staring at each other, and not making a noise. Concerned chocolate meets fearful hazel. Rachel gulps and breaks the silence.
"I guess this is goodbye."
"I don't want to say goodbye." She squeezes Rachel's hands. "Ever." She lets go to engulf Rachel in one last hug, as though it's the last one she'll ever have. She presses Rachel close to her chest and buries her face in brunette hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. She pulls back and goes back to reclaim Rachel's small hands.
"Well what would prefer to say?" Rachel asks, teary eyed once more.
"I love you," she confesses.
"Well, I love you too, Quinn" the brunette chokes out.
"No, I mean 'I love you' love you. I'm head over heels, butterflies in my stomach, over the moon reaching out for the stars, reaching out for you, IN LOVE." Rachel hasn't freaked out yet, but then she's not really doing much of anything. "I want to be your girlfriend, and I want to marry you one day. I want to have your babies." A small blush appears on Rachel's cheeks, but she does nothing more. "I love you Rachel Berry," she says, hopefully. No response comes. "Please say something."
"You don't have to feel the same," she reassures her, as she feels her heart break into a hundred million pieces. "It's okay," she says, even though it's not. "But do you think you could just pretend that you do? Just this once? Let me feel what it's like to be loved by Rachel Berry?" she asks, shyly.
"Quinn, I don't think I can do that."
"Okay, I understand mmpphh-" She's cut off when Rachel's lips meet hers. Her eyes stay open so she can make sure this was really happening.
Quinn relaxes into the kiss. Rachel's hands roam her body. One lands on the small of her back, the other travels further down. The blonde's own take action, grabbing fistfuls of hair, pulling the brunette ever closer. She moans as the diva gives her ass a firm squeeze. The singer takes the opportunity to explore the taller girl's mouth, battling Quinn's tongue with her own.
They break when they hear Santana loudly clear her throat. Quinn's back to staring, but Rachel decides to speak, "I couldn't lie because it's already true."
"Yeah, I think," she answers unsurely. "Everything's just been kind of crazy these past few months." She's biting her lip, looking down at Quinn's feet, playing with her fingers behind her back. "I do care about you though, and I don't know, maybe I care about you more than a friend," she says with a shrug. "Let's just see where it takes us, huh?" She's smiling, shyly which only reminds Quinn why she loves her so much.
"Yeah. Let's see," she agrees.
"I should go." Rachel gestures towards the train. Quinn nods her understanding. Rachel hops on and turns back to Quinn. "Hey Quinn, when you visit me in New York you owe me a date."
AN: Well that's it folks. And as such I'd really love reviews for the end, especially from those of you who I haven't heard from. And Thank You one last time for going reading through this. It's been a pleasure writing for you.