The last chapter until about next week. Enjoy!

Chapter 9- Music


I was just lying in my bed, when it hit me like a bullet. These Espada have never listened to music before! I guess it's up to me to introduce them, then. I hopped out of the bed, and navigated my way through the maze Aizen calls halls. After getting lost twice, I found his room, not his throne room, HIS 'room' room, where he sleeps. I myself have never been in here, but I have heard rumors that Aizen has a lover that he hides in here... I wonder who? I knocked on the door, and waited for him to answer.

5 minutes later...

What the hell is taking him so long to answer? I put my ear to the door, and listened.

"There's the spot! Fuck me!"

"Yeah, you like that?"

I quickly walked, more like ran, away from the door, and bumped into someone.

"My apologies." I said, looking back, but it was someone I would rather stay away from.

"You know Gin, we can do some REAL bumping back in my room." Szayel said huskily in my ear. This is exactly why I don't like him.

"I'm alright, Szayel." I said, backing away from him. He followed my every step.

"Gin, what's wrong? Don't think you can handle me?" Apporo said, flicking his hair back in such a girly fashion. I quickened my pace, and he did too.

"No, I just don't WANT to handle you." I said honestly. Szayel stopped in his tracks, I took this opportunity to run.

"Minions, get him!" Szayel ordered. Out of nowhere, about twenty arrancars came and grabbed me. I couldn't get loose for nothing. Damn it! Szayel slowly stalked his way to me, dead in my face.

"Now, now, I'm sure that I have something in my lab to make you submit to my needs." He brought his finger up to my face, and traced my jaw line. It made me shiver, not the lovey-dovey shiver, either, the 'I am about to get raped' shiver.

"What is going on here?" Aizen asked, panting fast and sweaty for some reason. He didn't even have his hair gel in anymore... Szayel put on his best innocent face and ordered his... 'creations' away.

"Lord Aizen, Gin agreed to try out a new spiritual pressure enhancing experiment, so I was just-"

"Szayel, leave. Now." Aizen said, still panting like a dog. Szayel pouted and took his leave, not after winking at me though. Ugh. Almost forgot, my idea.

"Hey Aizen, I have an idea for the Espada." I said. It looked like his eyebrow was raised, but his hair was all everywhere so I couldn't tell.

"Gin, let me hear this idea after I am cleaned up. I have... been busy with... keeping Hollows away from Las Noches... I will hold a conference in an hour about your idea." And with that, he limped back to his room, leaving a trail of sweat in his wake. Hollows don't even come NEAR here!

"Gin, c-come here for a sec." A voice TRIED to whisper from a nearby door. It MUST be Grimmjow. I went into the room, and it was Grimmjow, looking extremely disturbed. His hair was everywhere, but more than usual of course. He was blushing for no reason at all. Not to mention sweating waterfalls like Aizen. This day just keeps getting weirder.

"Yes, Grimmjow?" I said, trying to figure out what's going on here.

"I don't know what's wrong with me! Every time I see this particular person, my face gets red, I start sweating, and my mouth gets dry! And this thing gets bigger!" He said, pointing at something I did not want to see.

"Well, it means you need to kiss them." I said simply. I am going to have SO much fun with him.

"Kiss? What is a kiss?" He asked, clueless.

"Well, ask Szayel and he will tell you, and maybe even take you to a world of new things you didn't know. If I was you, I would hurry." I said innocently.

"Thanks man." And he ran off to Szayel's laboratory. Well, Szayel should be raping him in a few minutes, so that should get him off of my case for the day. I feel like messing with Ulquiorra for some reason. Oh, well, I guess I will.

At Ulquiorra's Door

I wonder what Ulquiorra does in here, anyway. Probably staring at the wall thinking about how to please Aizen knowing him. I knocked on the door, and it opened a tiny bit.

"What do you want?" Ulquiorra asked coldly. So mean.

"Aizen has ordered me to explain to you what a 'heart' is." I lied easily. The door opened and Ulquiorra sat down on his bed. I looked around the room, and I couldn't see. The whole room was just darkness, and Ulquiorra's eyes glowing in it definitely isn't helping.

"Can we go somewhere... I don't know, that doesn't feel like I'm standing in Batman's Batcave?" I asked him.

"Is that supposed to be an insult towards me? Because of my Ressurecion form?" Ulquiorra asked, voice empty. I sighed.

"Follow me, Ulquiorra."

On Top of Las Noches..

"Why are we here?" Ulquiorra questioned.

"Explaining what a heart is, is crucial information that no one should hear but you. Are you ready?" I asked him.

"Yes." He replied.

"Your heart is that cylindicular thing located in between your legs. You have to take it in your hands, and pump it. When you pump it enough, there will be a white substance known as 'emotions' coming out." I explained, and he was paying attention to every word. "It is best if you do it in front of numerous people, like one of our meetings." I explained deviously. He nodded.

"I must thank you for sharing this information with me, Gin Ichimaru. Thank you." He said.

"No problem." We went back inside the palace, and parted ways. The others will be SO shocked. Hahaha! I can't wait!

"What the hell are you doing in MY section of Las Noches! This is MY palace! MY-"

"Barragan, go take your blood pressure, blood clot, anti-wrinkle, erectile dysfunction, spine straightening, protein restorer, sleep apnea, foot fungus, hemorrhoids, speech impediment, dry mouth, colon cancer, Alzheimer's, Dyslexia, dry skin, and eyesight loss medicines instead of yelling at me." I ordered him.

"You'll never take me alive!" Barragan yelled out, running to his room. Great, he's having relapses again.

"My dear Espada, report to the Conference Room." Aizen's voice rumbled through the halls. It is time for it!

In the Conference Room..

"Isn't life just wonderful, my brothers and sisters... and Szayel." Aizen said. Szayel scoffed, and I paid mind to notice how Grimmjow was looking at him, like a piece of meat. Szayel winked at him, and Grimmjow smiled. But how many times Szayel has raped Grimmjow isn't important, it is what Ulquiorra is about to do...

"But this meeting is about something Gin came up with for..." Aizen trailed off as Ulquiorra got on the table, and started removing his clothes. Everyone's eyes went extremely wide. By now, Ulquiorra was completely naked, and stroking his *cough* meat. Everyone's eyes unbelievably went bigger, and Aizen dropped his tea cup, the liquid spreading out. I was going through one of the toughest fights of my life, trying to keep from laughing at this. After a few minutes of unbelieving staring, the 'emotions' came streaming out right in Grimmjow's tea. Ulquiorra simply put his clothes back on and sat down. All eyes were on him, and it seemed not to bother him at all. This. Is. GOLD!

No one moved. No one spoke. No one even breathed. They were in awe of what they just saw.

"What was it that you were saying Lord Aizen?" Ulquiorra asked, oblivious to what he 'really' did. Aizen snapped out of his trance.

"*cough* *cough* *cough* "Gin... wanted... something...or...something..." Aizen droned out. I stepped up.

"I wanted to introduce you to something called music." I said.

"...Music?" Harribel said after about ten minutes.

"Yes, let me show you. I have taken the liberty to bring each of you something called 'iPods'." I passed out each of them an iPod, and explained how they work.

"Now, each of the iPods have a huge variety of songs and genres, so by tomorrow, come and tell me your favorite artists or bands. That's it for today." I concluded. No one moved but Ulquiorra...

The Next Day...

Knock Knock

"Come in." I said, not really sure of whom this could be. The door opened, and all of the Espada crowded in my room. Are they about to try to kill me? I grabbed my zanpakuto in defense.

"Calm down, we are here to tell you our favorite artists from the iPods." Harribel said. Oh, I totally forgot. I grabbed a notebook and a pen and wrote each of their names in a row.

"After you tell me your name, you can leave. Who's first?" I asked.

"Donkey Kong soundtrack for me." Yammy said, and left. DK soundtrack? What? I wrote it down anyway.

"Me also." Zommari added and left too. Weirdoes.

"Next?" I asked.

"Basshunter." Aaroneiro said. Finally, a normal one. I scribbled that down.

"Adelitas Way for me." Grimmjow said. I like them, too.

"Drowning Pool." Nnoitora said. Hm, I was expected something stupid.

"A tie between Britney Spears, Rihanna, and Lady Gaga." Szayel said. Figures.

"Tupac for me, Gin." Stark said with a yawn. Hm.

"iPod for me." Barragan said. iPod?

"Um, Barragan, iPod is the name of the-" I was cut off.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" He yelled and ran out of the room.

"Evanescence, Gin." Harribel said simply. Yeah, they are a good band, and it fits her. Now, Ulquiorra's left...

"The band that I have chosen would be Bullet For My Valentine." Ulquiorra said in his usual voice. Wait, let me have some more fun with him.

"Do you know what 'head banging' is, Ulquiorra?" I asked him.


I explained it to him and he seemed to have interest in this. He put the earphones in, and started a slow nodding at first, but then he went crazy with it. It was an exciting sight to see, Ulquiorra flipping his hair as he walked down the hallway while everyone stared at him. Soon enough, all of the Espada started it, except for Aaroneiro and Barragan, because... you know Aaroneiro has that... jar-thing, and Barragan... is just...crazy.