Merlin staggered through the corridors. He had just escaped another drinking game with Gwaine for the fifth time this week. Apparently, Arthur had been complaining about Merlin's day long trips to the tavern. Merlin really wished Gaius would come up with another excuse to coverup Merlin's saving Camelot excursions. It was getting really inconvenient. It made Arthur think that Merlin was being an irresponsible drunkard. A belief that Merlin had been working very hard to dispel. Every time Gaius used "I think he's in the tavern," all of Merlin's hard work came crashing down. It was really amazing that Arthur hadn't sacked him over it. And to make matters worse, Gwaine thought he should have been invited to all of Merlin's supposed long drinking sessions.
Merlin was in the middle of cleaning Arthur's socks when Gwaine, having just got off duty, struck.
"Come to the tavern with me, mate," Gwaine commanded.
"Not right now," Merlin replied firmly. "Maybe later."
"Oh, come on, you can get away with it. Live a little."
"No, really I have-"
Gwaine, however, wouldn't listen. He grabbed Merlin's arm and drug the servant off. Merlin found the whole situation awkward. Merlin looked like he was being arrested - again - while holding wet dirty socks.
"Gwaine, I have to work," Merlin protested again.
"Hasn't stopped you in the past."
Merlin bit back the urge to call Gaius a liar. Anyway, he was certain that he could wait until Gwaine had both hands on his tankard and had taken a nice deep swig. Then Merlin could flee before Gwaine was any the wiser. After all, that was what he had done the last four times.
When they had gotten to tavern Merlin's heart sank like a rock. Gwaine had wised up and gotten accomplices. Leon, Percival, and Eylan were all there and expecting them. Maybe Merlin could still flee and avoid Arthur's wrath for being a lazy drunk.
When he finally escaped the knights, Merlin supposed it could have been worse. He had gotten away after drinking only one tankard of mead - or at least he thought it was one. Now, the ground had a slight mind of it's own. But Merlin was sure that, if he was very careful, no one would notice. He needed to get back to work before Arthur noticed his absence. Merlin thought that, if he played his cards right, Arthur would never know that he had been to the tavern when he was supposed to be working.
Merlin opened the door to Arthur's chambers.
"There you are, Merlin." Arthur said condescendingly, "I was just about to look for you. What have you been doing all this time?"
"Working," Merlin slurred as he lied. The servant staggered in the room.
"Merlin, are you alright?" Arthur looked concerned. He walked towards his manservant. "You're drunk!" The king snarled angrily as he jumped away from Merlin's breath.
"No... I'm not - I'm not drunk."
"You're a liar too." Arthur's eyes flashed. "What do you have to say for yourself?"
"I'm going to kill Gwaine," Merlin said. "And Percival," Merlin added, misinterpreting Arthur's eyes widening in shock.
"You're going to what?" Arthur snapped incredulously.
"You're right. I need to kill Leon and Elyan for good measure."
Okay, peeps, I know most of you must be wishing this was another chapter of "I Feel Your Pain." Sorry. No, I'm sorry. I'm doing two semesters worth of Calculus within the space of one semester. Yes, I am crazy and I am drowning. Fern wrote this. I only added a few touches. Please review for Fern's sake. And feel free to reprimand me for having priorities.