With the roller coaster that was Dance With Somebody, reaction fics were inevitable.
"I think you should be friends with Chandler."
Kurt nearly chokes on his bread stick when Blaine says that. His eyes water as he coughs and Blaine immediately reaches across the table, putting his hand on Kurt's arm until he calms down.
"What?" Kurt's voice comes out in a rasp and he wipes his eyes before clearing his throat.
"I think you should—"
"No, no, I heard you the first time. Why are you bringing him up?"
Blaine bites his lip and shrugs. He crosses his arms over his chest and looks away from Kurt before he speaks. "Well, you two obviously get along and you never stopped me from being friends with Sebastian, so I don't think I have the right to stop you from being friends with someone. Especially someone who's harmless." He scratches his right eye and Kurt can't decide if it's unconscious or not.
Kurt takes a sip of water to give himself time to prepare a reply. "You don't have to do that."
"Do what?" Blaine blinks and looks at Kurt.
Kurt shakes his head and mimics Blaine's position, arms crossed tightly over his chest. "What's your angle, here?" When Blaine only looks confused, Kurt continues. "What are you getting out of my potential friendship with Chandler?"
"Nothing? I just—" Blaine sighs and rests his elbow on the table to hold his head, his fingers rubbing at his temple. "You're both going to New York in the fall and I don't want you to be alone when you get there. If you already have a friend, it'll be less lonely."
"I'll have Rachel. And Finn, maybe."
"I know. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want to—" Blaine squints, his free hand almost flailing as he's trying to find the right words. "I don't want to be the kind of boyfriend that controls your entire life. I don't want you to feel like you have to get my approval to hang out with people. I don't have the monopoly on the gay friends you're allowed to have."
"I don't have that feeling." Kurt presses his foot against Blaine's under the table, the uneven ground they're once more walking on making his stomach hurt.
Blaine returns the pressure with his own foot as he reaches across the table to hold Kurt's hand. Kurt nods and squeezes Blaine's fingers.
"Anyway, what makes you think I want to be friends with him?"
"Intuition." Kurt smiles sheepishly and rolls his eyes. "Just make it very clear that there's no flirting allowed, okay? That's my job."
They have that conversation three more times before Kurt agrees to text Chandler, offering him to get coffee together as friends. Blaine hovers over his shoulder the whole time and when Chandler replies a few seconds later, he plants a kiss on Kurt's cheek and wraps his arms around his waist to hold him close.
It turns out there is absolutely no chance whatsoever that Kurt could have fallen in love with Chandler. He might have been interesting the first time they met and through his text messages, but now the only thing Kurt can think of as they sit together at the Lima Bean is ways to gag him.
He stopped listening to what Chandler was saying ten minutes ago, his mind instead drifting to plan his evening with Blaine. He smiles to himself when he decides on a quick meal so they can have more time for an unscheduled (although, now that he's planning it, does that make it scheduled?) make out session.
"Who are you thinking about?"
Kurt snaps back into the conversation and he blinks at Chandler, whose smirk widens. "I know that dreamy smile. You're thinking about a boy," he says in a sing-song voice.
Kurt shrugs and hides his smile in his cup of coffee. "I was thinking about my boyfriend, sorry. You were saying?"
"Your boyf—oh my god, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell me! Is he cute?"
Kurt is convinced his face lights up at Chandler's words and he leans over the table. "He's gorgeous."
"I bet he is," Chandler replies, his eyes widening as he waggles his eyebrows. "Oh my god, speaking of gorgeous, cutie alert at one o'clock." Kurt starts turning in his seat but Chandler shakes his head. "Don't look now," he hisses. "He's looking our way."
Kurt stifles a laugh in his hand. He feels silly and stupid, his heart fluttery as the two of them act like immature teenagers.
"Okay, you can look. He's the one ordering at the counter."
Kurt slowly turns around and his eyes fall on Blaine. A grin spreads on his face and he turns back to Chandler, who's looking at him expectantly.
"Yeah, you're right, he's gorgeous."
"It's a shame he's so out of our league," Chandler says with a long-suffering sigh and a pout.
"Speak for yourself," Kurt huffs.
"Oh, honey, no, forget it. He's Upper East Side. We're New Jersey."
Kurt once more stifles his laughter, this time biting his lip. He studies Chandler's face carefully so he doesn't miss the moment he'll realize Blaine is heading their way.
It begins with him perking up and smiling, probably hoping to catch Blaine's eyes. His eyes widen next and he sits up straighter, a blush creeping on his cheeks. "Oh my god, he's coming our way. He totally is. Don't look!"
"Is he?" Kurt asks coyly. Seconds later, a warm hand presses down on his shoulder and he looks up at Blaine. "Hey, Blaine. What are you doing here? I thought you were spending the afternoon with Mike."
"Tina had an emergency and I knew I would find you here." He pulls a chair from another table and sits down, pressing up against Kurt and tangling their fingers on the table. "You must be Chandler. Hi, I'm Blaine."
Chandler is speechless - Kurt had no idea that could happen, but he's thankful for the break - and his eyes shift from Kurt to Blaine, understanding dawning on his face.
"Oh my god. I nearly broke up the Royal couple. I'm so sorry, Blaine. I didn't—"
"Don't." Blaine waves him off with his free hand, shaking his head. "It's behind us."
"I'll—I'll be right back," he stammers. "Washroom."
Kurt watches him leave before turning to face Blaine. "Show off."
"What?" Blaine is trying to look innocent. His smirk is betraying him.
"You did all this just so you could dangle me in front of him as your boyfriend!"
"I did not." Kurt stares at him sternly until Blaine's face cracks into a smile. "Okay, fine, maybe."
"Well, at least he won't flirt anymore, I guess."
"Did he really call us the Royal couple?"
"Maybe he wouldn't have if you weren't dressed like an English university professor about to have tea with the Queen."
"Hey, I resent that. You picked those clothes for me."
"Not to be worn together!" Kurt giggles when Blaine glares at him playfully. "Okay, while he's gone? He's so annoying, oh my god."
"You have no idea. It's like Rachel on speed. I was about to gag him." Blaine nods, his mask of innocence back on his face. Kurt narrows his eyes. "It was all part of the plan, wasn't it?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Making me realize he's insufferable so I wouldn't want to hang out with him anymore so that you'll have the satisfaction of never hearing about him again while knowing you didn't control my acquaintances."
"I think you're overanalyzing this. How would I have known he's annoying?" Blaine looks pointedly at Kurt while he sips his coffee. "We can't all be perfect."
"I'm obviously not perfect because I was stupid enough to fall in love with a giant tool," Kurt deadpans.
Blaine grins and brings Kurt's hand up to kiss his knuckles. "Shall we plan our escape before he comes back?"
"I like how you think, Anderson."