Okay, this is a fanfic I wrote whilst listening to this song. For some reason, all I could picture was Jem dying, and also grief. This song is by Evanscene, and if you know the song, I changed it from 'She's' to 'He's' for this purpose. My other fanfic (Madness of a Technological kind!) and my Mortal Instruments one, (I'll drink to that!) Are currently being written now. This one is abit more serious, and abit more another side of my personality. Please review! I literally cried whilst writing this, so feel it!

Playground, schoolbell rings...
Rainclouds come to play...

Tessa blinked back the tears. The overwhelming need she felt to cry had begun to seep into her nerves, as she raced through the corridors, not accepting anyone's condolences. This was not a time for accepting nor forgiving. She was heading to the one person she wished to take her anger out on.
Will Herondale.

Has no one told you he's not breathing?

She burst the door open with such force that Will flew around. But it was not what Tessa expected. There was no puffy eyes. No tears on his cheekbones. But cuts, nothing but cuts. Tessa's eyes raked him, and noticed bloody fingernails. He had clawed at himself. He said nothing, than turned back to the window.
"It was nevermeant to happen..."

I am your mind,
Giving you someone to talk too..

"Is this supposed to make this better?" Tessa asked, her voice cracking.


"No." Will had not turned from the window.
"What happened, Will? You promised him and I that you would protect.." Her worlds trailed off as Will spun around, his wounds looking a brighter crimson as his face had paled.

If I smile and don't,
Soon I know I awake,
from this dream

"Protect him?" His voice was so strained, Tessa thought his throat might crack.
She nodded weakly. No tears had come yet. Not one droplet of saltwetar leaked from her grey eyes.
"I tried... I tried so hard, Tess." Will himself had not cried. But she could see his body tremble.

Don't try to fix me,
I'm not broken,
I am the lie,
living for you so you can hide,

Please, Tessa silently prayed. Don't cry, Will. I promised when the time came I would not cry.

Don't cry.

"Don't cry." Tessa tried to say soothingly, but every nerve betrayed her. "He- he died in battle. It would have been the way he wanted to g- go-" Tessa's chest rose and fell quickly, and Will noticed her face was trying to be strong, but failing. He took a step foward.
"Grief is a natural emotion." Is all he said.

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping,
I'm still here..

With that, Tessa stooped completely to her knees, as though they were made of nothing but jelly. Will kneeled down to her height, and Tessa could see a glimpse of his eyes shining as her vision blurred, her sobs loud and thick. Will wrapped his arms around her, as Tessa was clawing at her chest as though she could rip her heart out.

All that's left of YESTERDAY...

Because, his Parbatai... the man she loved...

James Carstairs was gone.