Shepard moved swiftly through the colony, her eyes wide and alert. A husk had almost strangled her to death only moments ago; it wasn't something she was keen on doing again in the near future.
"Any sign of Reaper Forces?" Shepard asked behind her. She had brought Garrus and EDI along on the rather menial mission. It was their first time bringing EDI out into battle, and she needed to make sure that there was nothing wrong with her new body, or platform, or whatever you would call it.
"Negative." EDI replied, her orange visor shining momentarily as the sun shone brighter.
This colony was surprisingly similar to Mindoir, so much so that it caused her chest to become tight and to feel generally uncomfortable. The General Store had even had the same gleaming red paint, even though she knew that they could not be the same place. She really wanted to get on the Normandy and fly far, far away.
A scuffling ahead drew her from her thoughts, and Shepard dove behind cover. Her companions had followed suit, and she could practically feel Garrus' body heat next to her. With a deep breath, Shepard flicked her wrist forward, causing a ball of biotic energy to bloom where the noise had sprung. With little resistance, the perpetrator was pulled from behind its shelter…
"What the hell is that?" Garrus questioned, his sniper rifle dropping as he took in the creature with an unhinged jaw. There was a pause of silence before EDI responded.
"It appears to be a chicken."
Not just any chicken. No, this was a Reaper Chicken. Wires wrapped around it's legs, most of its feathers were gone, and the beady eyes had been replaced with shining blue ones, but it had, at one point, been a chicken.
Shepard began to laugh, quiet at first, before it became the chest heaving kind that nearly knocked you on your feet. Garrus was looking at her as though she were having a stroke, which just caused her to double over in even more laughter.
"Er… Commander? Shepard?"
"I believe that she is laughing, Garrus."
"No, I, uh, gathered that."
By then, the singularity had dissolved, and the chicken waddled over menacingly. With a sinister cluck, it began to peck at Shepard's feet with sadistic intent. Shepard's face had begun to resemble a strawberry, and she fell to the ground with laughter. Before the twisted bird could get to her face, Garrus put it out of its misery. As Shepard finally calmed down, he reached a hand down to pull her up. Wiping a tear from her eyes, Shepard caught her breath.
"That was one foul fowl, wasn't it, Garrus?" She quipped, chuckling again at her on wit. Garrus shook his head, but before he could respond, EDI broke through.
"Commander, I believe that this will adequately test my new platform."
Shepard walked over to where EDI was standing, expelling her last few breathless laughs. Her eyes widened as she looked to where EDI was pointing.
Their feathered friend had not been alone; no, hundreds of Reaper chickens stood in the distance, all running towards the three as fast as their little bird legs could take them. It was a chaotic, catastrophic chicken herd.
Backing away slowly, Shepard looked towards Garrus with a gleam in her eye.
"Last one to the ship's a rotten egg?"