A/N I have to admit, I am totally bewildered! My angst ridden semi fluffy anniversary Fic is my most successful yet! (3 reviews! You people are amazing!) So, I thought I'd try this, because I finally saw SITL and FOTD from season four and I wanted to write something about River in the data core. This can either be or not be following the same story as my other Fic, (Name's Song. Tune Song.) Since I am still working on that story's next chapter, consider this chapter...1.5? Anyway, just thought I'd try this. I know it's not the most original concept, but I'm still kind of new at this and trying to get a feel for it, so sorry. Hope you like!
Also, a new interesting thing I learned - I don't own Doctor Who! Sorry. Please dont sue me.
He Always Comes When She Calls
Somedays, everybody lives.
It's something she thinks often about, because in a way, it's true. Here, everybody lives. They live forever. Yet in a way, everybody here dies too, when that crushing feeling hits you, that no matter how much these people look like those you knew, those you loved, they aren't, and those people, those who escaped the library, you're never going to see them again.
At first, CAL had limited her memories, only letting her remember her team. It wasn't as horrible as it sounded. In a way, it was kind. Without the knowledge, she was happier. Yet slowly, over the years (prehaps only days, or decades - time is relative here,) she remembered them. Amy, Rory, adventures with...well, someone, Leadworth, they all slowly trickle back. Sometimes, they make her happy. But usually, they make her sad. Sad because they are dead to her. Sad because she won't ever see them again.
With the help of CAL, she is able to recreate any person or place she can remember. All she need do was make a wish.
She finds it heartbreakingly ironic that she, who could never choose her own destiny or even make her own descisions in life now has absolute power over them in death.
But she can't help but feel that there is something - someone - that she is missing.
One day, she is wandering through a small library when she sees a book. A blue, patterned, weathered book that she can't help but pick up. And out falls a letter.
Reading it, she can't help but blush. It's a love letter, worn with age yet still bearing that lingering smell she remembers to be that of the time vortex. She blushes even further when she reads who the letter is addressed to.
It's a letter to her. From a man called The Doctor.
And she remembers.
Rembers him, the beautiful, sweet, innocent, mad, impossible Doctor. The only man she has ever truly loved completely and unflinchingly, no matter where in her timelines she is at, whether he knows her or not, the only man who has ever displayed unconditional love for her, whether she is trying to kiss him or kill him. Her Doctor.
For the first time since she first entered the CAL's protection, she cries. Because, for the first time, she knows what it was like to feel elatedly happy and at the same time suffocatingly sad.
CAL asks her whether she wants her to recreate The Doctor for her, but she refuses no matter how much she wants to see him, because a man so wonderful isn't something you try to recreate. He is too amazing to be captured by CAL, who is still so young at heart, never really loved someone so much as River knows she loved - loves - her Doctor.
And since she knows that she will never see him again, she tries to forget, to settle back down into a routine, and she dies a little more inside each day.
Everybody knows that everybody dies.
But not today.
Somedays, The Doctor comes to call, and everybody lives.
She is confused at first when CAL tells her that someone wants to see her. Someone from the outside. She says he just teleported right in in a box and said he needed to see River Song.
She knows who it is. But she also knows that it's impossible for him to be here.
Yet maybe it isn't impossible. If it really is him, if he really has come, then how could she not go to him. She knows that she needs him, to see him and know that he's real.
So she follows CAL outside into the park.
Her heart stops.
He stands, leaning against his TARDIS just like he used to when he would pick her up in the evenings, hands in his pockets, wearing that bowtie that, though she'll never admit it to him, she has grown to love, his ridiculous hair a floppy mess upon his head. He smiles sheepishly, but she notices how red his eyes are, as if he had been crying.
Of course it's him. How could she possibly doubt him. Because he always comes when she calls, when she needs him, no matter what.