I walked into my room and immediately locked my windows. I did not want to risk seeing a certain wind artist tonight. Memories of the day flooded my brain and I lost it...again.
"STUPID, STUPID.. LITTLE... IDIOT...GAH! WHO AM I KIDDING?..."
I collapsed on my bed and calmed down ...a bit
"I'm the idiot" The thought was just a whisper ,I was too tired to yell, scream and put the blame on a certain someone .I just wanted...what did I want anyway?
After thinking hard, I remembered...cake. After a whole day, morning to evening of continuous training and slaying youmas, I just wanted to eat some cake. I was starving and exhausted so it's not a weird thing to want. Then when I got there ,I saw the lazy idiot, that called in sick might I add , with some girl dressed like a ,a...I don't think they have a word that can describe ..well , That ,that ... oh, wait there is a word..Slut.
I sighed as I reluctantly got up from my bed. I looked in the mirror and saw a girl with messed up hair, sweat dripping from every part of her body and a partially ripped up uniform. I snorted at the last part, the only time Kazuma ever saw me as a girl was when my clothes were ripped in battle, he's such a pervert. I sighed ...Again."Why the heck did I have to fall for him?"I was just a whisper, but it was the million dollar question for me. I still have'nt told anyone that I realised my feelings for that idiot, not even Yukari and Nanase. They would probably be shocked to find out that what hundreds of missions, life and death situations and jealousy rampages, not to mention straight out lectures could'nt do, an internet compatibility test could. Not surprising though, I was alone when I took it, so I could be honest about how I feel. I hate it when people try to make my decisions for me, so stupid lectures just made me deny it all the more.
But by the end of that test in which I answered honestly about how I felt, Why I get angry..all of it .The result ."GIRL,YOU GOT IT BAD .You love him and sorry but you can't change it" .Oh! I tried ,I listed everything bad about him and it was a HUUGE list .trust me.I remembered that he probably still loved Tsui Ling...but in the end, I still loved him and the hardest part was admitting that Yukari and Nanase were right all this time.
I collapsed on my bed with a sigh, a loooonng one .Tears started forming at the ends of my eyes as I remembered that woman .But I also realised that he would never love someone like me, after all I'm dumb ,I have anger issues ,I try to kill him on a daily basis...and fail pathetically.
"I'm such an idiot" I muttered.
"Wow! What made you finally realise it?"
I gave a small shriek and turned to my window to see a smirking Kazuma ... well .. smirking at me.
" The one and only" He said with an amused tone as he jumped down from the window still .He walked towards me.
"So how did the solo missions go ,mess anything.. up?"His voice trailed off as he took in my appearance, from foot to face, from missing shoes to ripped shirt .His eyes widened as he saw my tear-stained face.
A simple question.
"I trained my butt off ,fought youma ,and when I went to get some cake I saw my sick partner trapping a slut against the girls bathroom. Disgusted ,I left...without any cake"
A simple answer.
His eyes widened again at my robotic reply ,though the venom in my voice was hardly hidden.
"Well princess, I only called in sick because you've been bugging me about letting you go on solo missions"
"So you finally got tired of being my partner , huh "I said as I left the bed and began going towards my bathroom."Surprised it took you so long" .I took my pyjamas from the closet and headed to the bathroom ,and then stopped .Did'nt I lock the windows.
I turned to see Kazuma in front of my open windows .Great, why do I even have locks?.
I almost jumped at the seriousness in his voice ,then I faced him and was surprised to see the slight worry in his eyes.
"What do you mean ?I already told you what happened."
"Yes , you did and instead of yelling and trying to kill me..." He motioned to my face"..You're crying and talking nonsense...calmly . So ,what happened?"
I looked at him like he grew a second head."So you want to know why I'm crying instead of trying to kill you?".My eyebrow twitched and my lips grew into a evil grin."Why? Maybe its because I'm only allowed to be happy and angry ,Maybe because I realised that I made the biggest mistake in my life and I can't do anything about it or maybe I just felt like it."
He looked surprised and confused at my calm outburst .A small part of me felt proud at the fact that I got a reaction out of him but the majority was just beating me up inside for blowing at him when it was my fault .I used to blame him when I felt angry , but now that I know why... ,I just can't .He lost someone he loves and me? I just fell in love with someone I can never have .If I am hurting so much , I can't imagine what he must have gone through... or what he feels now .So I'm not gonna confess or anything because I don't want to put him in that spot .Besides, I'm pretty sure he already knows ,so I'll wait for him to make the first move...,if he ever does ,that is.
"Ayano ,that girl was..."
I held my hand to stop him and looked at him with a sad smile "Let me guess ,an informant and since you thought it was worth giving up your sick day ,with important information or just an old friend."
Again surprise showed on his face and I internally lectured myself . Even though I don't blame him on the inside ,on the outside ,I still try to kill him on a daily basis ,so no one gets suspicious ,besides just cause you fall for a guy does'nt make him less of a teasing pervert ,and its REALLY easy to tick me off.
His face went a bit ...sympathetic? "The first one. "
.Dang ,acting like this is definitely going to make him suspicious but I'm too tired to pretend I want to kill him .So , I nodded ,sighed and gave him a smile .It was fake and we both knew it.
"Don't worry..."I took my pyjamas and headed to the bathroom "...I'm used to it."Then I slammed the door shut and slid to the floor with my back against it and buried my head into my pyjamas to muffle the sniffles .I heard a faint 'sorry' and the click of my windows shutting .I remembered that sympathetic look on his face and a loud sob escaped me .He knew ,he definitely knew...but he did'nt want to.
The wind contractor placed a letter on Ayano 's side-table before taking to the he set off knowing that if he did not leave before she read it , she would probably try to follow. So he sped off towards the train-station where his luggage was waiting ,but he could not help taking one last glance her room, mentally hoping she would appear at the window ,... But she did not. So he steeled his will and concentrated on his flying.
'I'm sorry Ren,dad,Jugo,...Ayano, Goodbye... for now.'