I'm not sure how to explain this- it's an exploration of when Sara was trapped in the nurse's office during 'Committed'.

It's going to be a two-shot, the first being Sara's perspective the latter being Adam's.

Please let me know what you think and review.

Disclaimer: I own zilch.

Soliloquy

The air in the room seemed to still, the tension lingering in the atmosphere like a cloud of smoke. There was a sense of humidity and the occasional wisp of the cold air conditioning over her skin gave her goose bumps. His eyes watched her with a steady gaze and it was as if he was seeing through her- into her- bringing to light her fears in their most honest form.

Sara's breathing fluttered unevenly in her chest as she attempted to form words but the sentences simply just tied up like knots on her tongue. Even if she had managed to say anything she wondered if it would have deterred him- made him disappear into nothingness. She imagined the sobs and screams of his victims as that same gaze had cast burns on their skin. Her hands trembled slightly and it was as if he could smell her fear. As if it was becoming more obvious with every breath of stale air he took that she was terrified of him- of what he could do and the things that he had done.

The clinical smell of her current environment overwhelmed Sara as she kept her attention focused on Adam as he slowly crept towards her. His expression seemed to be blank- the blue of his eyes clear of everything including emotion- but the small smirk that played on his lips spoke a thousand words. He was enjoying watching her squirm- that much was obvious- Sara took short breaths hoping to regain control.

"Are you a spiritual person?"

His question seemed to be asking so much more than the words themselves. He wanted to know her- her weaknesses- her beliefs- her hopes. They were all of the things that he could shatter with actions that seemed to come naturally to him.

Every muscle in her body tightened as she attempted to keep in control of her panic- not wanting to let him see vulnerability. Not wanting to let him see her as prey- like an object, a toy, he could break and abate. But she realised that it was too late. From the moment they had first encountered each other- he had seen her as less than a person- as an opportunity.

"Do you think everything happens for a reason- that bad things are there to teach us a karmic lesson?"

His eyes seemed to gleam in the light at the mention of disasters- the sorts of things that tore people apart- leaving them hollow shells of who they really were. The sorts of things he did to women- the thought itself caused bile to make the steady incline up Sara's throat.

She attempted to focus on the things he was saying while at the same time attempting to remove the cap on the injection in her hand. With every step he took towards her it was as if her body had received a jolt of electricity.

From the moment he had entered the grim office she had known that no matter what she would fight back- that she would not be passive to his aggression, to his sickening fantasises. She would not let herself become a victim; not again.

The events of her past had weighed heavy on her from the moment she had entered the building. The smell of the surfaces, the blank, exhausted expressions of the people and the sounds of people succumbing to the demons they all had previously hidden inside.

The experience had made her wonder if she was any different.

If she could claim that she had sanity on her side when her body woke with a numbing sense of depression that she could not shake. Sara had thought of the pills that were supposed to keep her 'balanced' and therapists she had spoken to as she spoke to the onsite psychiatrist.

How was that different?

Sara launched at Adam the needle glinting in the light making its intended journey to the flesh of his neck. It was the sound of it clattering to the floor that seemed to bring her back to reality as she realised she'd lost her only weapon. She was at now bending at Adam's whim- at the mercy of his decisions, wants and desires.

Adam's fingers encircled her wrist in a vice like grip, twisting her arm slightly before dragging the unwilling woman towards him. His touch seemed to scale her skin but as Sara fought back he simply just held her tighter enjoying the feeling of her struggling against him.

His arms possessively wrapped around her shoulders as Sara realised that she was no longer in control- that he had engineered this for her to never have a chance at control. Her heart painfully beat against her rib cage as she attempted to breathe. The feeling of Adam's teeth grazing her ear as he spoke made her chest constrict.

"...and everything would be fine- right?"

There was a hint of mockery in his voice- the knowledge that things could never be 'fine'. That life was not something that could be fixed- that the bad would always be lingering around the corner a taunting shadow of good.

Adam's grip tightened on her so their bodies were pressed together even closer- as if he wanted to feel her panic. Sara began to fight back but the feeling of the sharp clay edge digging into the sensitive skin of her neck limited her struggling.

The sound of his breathing in her ear and the feeling of his hot breath hitting her cheek made her skin crawl. He was surrounding her- and it was like being submerged in the murky waters of Lake Mead.

"Do you think I'm smart...do you think I'm right?"

He muttered with desperation into her ear, the words seemed to be sinking into her skin, disappearing into her system. As she attempted to slow her bodies 'fight or flight' response to the situation she had found herself in- she tried to stop herself from falling apart.

She wasn't going to cry.

She wasn't going to let her mind linger on the things that were probably running through his head or the way she slowly felt as if she was being suffocated. She wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had gotten to her- under her skin.

She kept her concentration focused on one thing- surviving.

Sara couldn't stop letting her mind wander to the last time she had been dragged grudgingly to this type of precarious position. Her breathing became ragged as she attempted to push those memories out of the forefront of her mind.

Everything she did seemed to be shadowed by her recollections of the past.

It was the sight of Grissom that changed everything- the atmosphere becoming polluted. His eyes watched with fear- he seemed to be silently wishing for Adam to let her go.

"Don't you move a muscle- I will grind you- you bitch."

He growled the anger- the aggression- the things that had him locked up in a place like this seemed to be oozing from every one of his pores filling the small space like air. Sara kept her eyes on the ground hoping that he would realise that there was no way out.

And that he would just let her go because she wasn't ready to be a victim again.

She wasn't going to be desecrated.

She wasn't going to be broken.