The Hangover - Wizard Style
By Poppy P
A/N: I don't know what possessed me to do this. Wait, yes I do - I love Harry Potter and I can't resist The Hangover (even though it's crude, rude and probably sexist). Anyway, the characters aren't mine, the plot isn't mine so don't sue me! Also, you may recognize several lines as coming directly from the movie. This hasn't been beta-ed or Brit-picked so if you see any glaring errors, please let me know and I will correct them.
Ginny Weasley paced the kitchen at the Burrow, wearing a white wedding gown and a crown of flowers in her red hair. Her parents and several of her bridesmaids watched helplessly as she walked to and fro, muttering darkly.
"Ginny, Dear," said Molly Weasley gently, "you're going to wear yourself out before the wedding even starts. Why don't you have a seat?"
Ginny frowned at her mother. "They're late. They should have been here hours ago. They should be getting ready!" Her voice rose with each sentence.
Arthur Weasley affected a soothing tone. "Ginny they're wizards, not witches. They don't need hours to get ready. They're probably just tired from the stag night. I'm sure they're just having a bit of lie in. They're probab-"
Arthur stopped abruptly as the kitchen fire burst into green flames. Ginny dashed to her knees in front of the fire completely unmindful of her wedding gown.
"Mon Dieu!" exclaimed Fleur Weasley smoothing down her own ivory coloured gown before kneeling gracefully besides Ginny.
Angelina Weasley kneeled down on carefully on Ginny's other side. Her advanced state of pregnancy made her much slower than usual.
"Harry? Harry?" Ginny asked frantically before her brother George's head came into view. "George! Where the hell are you? The wedding's a few hours away! Where's Harry?"
Ginny blanched as her brother shook his head sadly. "What's wrong?" she asked, her voice rising with panic. "Where. Is. Harry!" she demanded shrilly.
"Sis," said George heavily, "We fucked it up."
"What do you mean?" asked Ginny, eyes narrowed.
"We lost Harry," said George heavily. "We can't find him and I am so sorry."
Molly and Arthur Weasley rushed forward to help Fleur and Angelina restrain Ginny as she drew her wand and pointed it at her brother's head. "What do you mean 'we can't find him'?" she shrieked, struggling against her parents' and her sisters-in-law's restraining arms. "We're to be married this evening!"
George shook his head again. "Yeah, that's probably not going to happen..."
Two days earlier...
"This is a lovely colour, Harry," said Percy, admiring the shiny green material of the robes that Madam Malkin was fitting him with.
"All Ginny's idea," said Harry. Having already been fitted, he was sprawled across one of the many cushioned armchairs scattered around Madam Malkin's shop. "She said some toss about it matching my eyes or something." He smiled sheepishly.
"Come now," said Percy bracingly. "Aren't you happy you're finally going to be married?"
"Of course," said Harry, "But this wedding business has been pain in the arse. You know we had to put anti-press charms all over the," he gave Madam Malkin a half glance, "wedding locale?"
"Really?" asked Percy, lifting his right arm so that Madam Malkin could continue with the fitting.
"Yes," said Harry tiredly, "Rita Skeeter's been ferreting around asking about the wedding location for months. She even gate crashed Ginny's farewell party with the Harpies."
"You're joking!" said Percy.
"Not at all," said Harry with a grin. "From what I understand, Rita's very lucky Ginny's team-mates intervened or she would've been on the receiving end of a Bat-Bogey Hex."
"She's quite lucky!" said Percy, having witnessed Ginny casting the said hex on their brother Fred in their younger days. "Although considering that they're going to be colleagues at the Prophet now, it's probably for the best."
Madam Malkin stood back to appraise the results of her tailoring. "There you are, Dear." She turned towards Harry, "Let me just take these and ring them up with the others. I'll package them nicely with an Anti-Wrinkle charm."
"Thank you," said Harry.
Percy watched Madam Malkin walk out of the room before turning to Harry. "Is everything set for tonight then?"
Harry nodded. "I told them all I wanted for my stag party was a nice, quiet, drink at the Leaky, dinner and perhaps a Quidditch match, nothing more."
Percy checked to make sure Madam Malkin was still out of earshot. "Harry, I just wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you for having me in your wedding party and for inviting me to your stag night."
"What are you talking about?" asked Harry, perplexed. "You're family!"
"Well, you know," he muttered, ears reddening, "how I acted at your trial, and my time with the ministry, and when I asked Ron to stop being your friend..."
"All in the past," said Harry with a wave of his hand.
Percy came up close to Harry who took a wary step back. "I just really wanted you to know how much this means to me, Harry." He suddenly grabbed Harry in a bone crushing hug.
Harry struggled against Percy who seemed intent on not letting go, so he settled for patting him on the back. "Blimey Perce, there's no need to get all emotional. You're just like a brother to me and I respect you just like all your brothers do."
"Oi Percy you great poof! Let go of Harry before we go tell our sister you're trying to steal her man!"
Percy released Harry as George entered the shop followed closely by Ron.
"Who's ready to get rat arsed?" asked George stepping in between Harry and Percy and clapping an arm around each of them. "I heard they opened a new pub down Knockturn Alley that has some very pretty and talented ladies."
"No George," said Harry sternly, "I already told you lot I just want something simple. A few drinks, dinner. No weird, new pub and definitely no ladies, talented or otherwise."
"Aw come on Harry!" wheedled Ron. "Last fling and all, let's have some fun. Besides, it'll be my turn in a couple of months so we have to set the standard with your stag party."
"Like my beautiful, understanding wife Angie says, 'there's no harm in looking'," said George wiggling his eyebrows.
"Dinner and drinks at the Leaky Cauldron," said Harry firmly. "Besides, why would I even need to look at other girls when I have Ginny?"
Ron pretended to vomit. George shook his head sadly, "Are you going for a new title? The Boy Who Was Cu-"
"Oi!" said Ron indignantly. "That's our sister you're talking about, George!"
Percy bristled. "Harry's got it right. When you have the perfect woman, why would you need to look elsewhere? Penny and I..."
"Do not bring that woman up tonight, Percy," hissed Ron, "we're trying to have a good time."
"What's wrong with Penny? Why don't you like her?" asked Percy, sadly.
"Well let's see," said George, pretending to count on his fingers, "Number one, she's a bitch. Number two, she's full of herself. Number three, she's a bitch. Number four, she beats you. And number five, oh yeah, she's a bitch!"
"She does not beat me, George," said Percy with dignity. "She just tapped me lightly on the head that one time I forgot to take my hair strengthening potion. What?" he asked as his brothers scoffed.
"I was there," said Ron, "I saw her slap you over the head and I heard her screech, 'Percy, don't forget your potion you idiot! What? Do you want a great, shiny, bald patch like your father?'"
Percy blushed furiously, but turned to Harry, "She's strong-willed. Harry understands about strong-willed women, don't you, Harry?"
"Er..." said Harry.
"Um, hello?" said Ron, "Have you met Hermione?"
"And Angelina's not exactly a shrinking violet is she?" said George.
"Why don't we head on over to the Leaky then?" asked Harry as Madam Malkin came back with their packages. Harry handed her several gold coins and they started out.
Ron, Harry, Percy and George were in a private parlour at the Leaky Cauldron. Hannah Abbot had brought out a bottle of the finest Firewhiskey available. George promptly poured out a glass for all of them. "To Harry," he murmured, holding his glass aloft, "tomorrow will make it official of course, but the truth is, you've been our brother for years."
"To Harry," echoed Ron, bringing the cup to his lips along with George and Harry but before anyone could take a sip, Percy interrupted.
"I have something to say," said Percy, reaching into his pocket and withdrawing a roll of parchment. "I wrote it down." Percy unfurled the parchment and held it before him. It was so long, it almost reached his knees.
"Aw not a bloody speech, Percy," said Ron.
Percy cleared his throat, ignoring Ron. "Just a few thoughts I wanted to share. Harry," he said, reading from the parchment, "Lovely night, isn't it? Well, I just wanted to say that I've always considered myself a lone dragon in a weyr of dragons. Our weyr being the Burrow, of course."
George rolled his eyes.
Harry squirmed in embarrassment, but Percy continued. "I always felt I was a lone dragon. Bill and Charlie were really close and Fred and George were even closer. Ron was too little and Ginny couldn't really be a part of it either being a girl and all. Dragons aren't very ladylike are they?"
"Neither is Ginny!" said Ron, ducking as Harry aimed a slap at the back of his head.
"Just get on with it Perce!" said George, tapping his foot.
"I'm getting there, just wait," said Percy, returning to his scroll of parchment. "Then the war happened and I found out that I wasn't a lone dragon after all because I was lucky to be a part of the Weasley weyr of dragons. And while I was off being an arrogant berk, Harry was already one of those dragons. I couldn't have asked for a better dragon for my sister." Percy paused, wiping his eyes under his glasses.
"Wow," said Harry, "thanks Perce. That was...er...nice."
"Thank God it's over!" exclaimed Ron, raising the glass to his lips.
"I'm not done yet, Ron!" said Percy, returning to his parchment. "And so young Harry, I am proud to have you standing beside me, a fellow dragon." He raised his glass high. "To Harry."
"To Harry," said George and Ron quickly, gulping their drink before Percy could start up again.
Harry also took a drink. "Thanks," he said, dragging his sleeve across his mouth.
"Damn!" said George, draining his glass. "I need another one just to get the sound of Percy's droning out of my ear." He reached for the bottle and began refilling everyone's glasses.
"At least you only have one ear," muttered Ron darkly.
"One more toast," said George, holding up his second glass. "To an unforgettable night!"
The four men tipped their head backs and gulped their drinks down. They were totally unaware of the shadowed figure in the corner aiming a wand at them. The pink streak of light struck their glasses just as they were drinking their Firewhiskey.
To be continued...
A/N2: I looked up the word for a group of dragons and three words came up: weyr, flight and wing. I thought weyr fit best for the purpose of this story since the definition was a place where dragons live. If I'm wrong, please drop me a line and let me know because I really struggled with that.
It's my birthday and I'm unbelievably old so why not click on the review button to make me feel better?