❝ Love me when I least deserve it, because that's when I really need it.❞
¤ You Came Too Early ¤
I tried to escape; I couldn't deal with more fighting, I was going to lose it. But he followed me into the kitchen. Obviously, this wasn't over.
"What the fuck, Isabella?" he almost screamed. "You can't say something like that to me and walk away!"
I tried to keep the tears at bay and turned to face him. "There's nothing more to say, Edward."
"Nothing mor—" he choked on his words. "I LOVED YOU!"
His outburst was what did it. Tears flowed over my cheeks, sobs choking my words. "No you didn't! You—you left us!"
Now he looked stunned. "And what would you have expected me to do, Isabella? You gave me an ultimatum! I came to you asking for a solution, something we could have managed together to make it work, and you fucking gave me an ULTIMATUM!"
"I didn't!" I sobbed.
"You did! You asked me to choose between the two most important things in my life; my family or my music."
I couldn't believe he was bringing that back into the conversation. I had been tired that night, dealing with Juliet's sickness and Emma's tantrum, starting my time of the month. I know that's no excuse, but when he came home at 1 A.M. (and I was still awake for I had just put Juliet into her crib) and told me he was giving up his studies in Law – studies that had taken him away from me and the girls for the past five years –, and that he wanted to move to L.A. to try his hand at being a film composer (what the hell?) I just couldn't understand. It was just so out of the blue! So I told him 'no'; I wasn't ready for my life to change that drastically. The last few months had been hard enough; I was only just getting used to the new routine, balancing my time with both children and my exigent schedule at work, a job that I liked very much all the same.
That didn't mean it wasn't open to discussion. Just not that night. Not this way.
And I might have asked him to choose, but I don't think I meant it literally. Yet the next day he was leaving and a week later, papers for divorce were being filled. He jumped on that excuse to break free from me. No one could blame him. He had already sacrificed so much.
"I—I wanted you to pick us." I cried. Then, lower; "To pick me."
Edward's demeanour changed; he calmed and looked at me, at my teary eyes. "What?"
Still crying, I clarified. "Do you think I don't know why you did it all? You married me because you knocked me up, that much is obvious. It was like, the thing everyone was expecting you to do, so you did it. And after you stayed with me so I would have money and could continue my studies. You were barely there at all, and when you were, you were with Emma, which I don't mind but... You know, no one really expected us to stay together long after our studying. But then I got pregnant with Juliet—"
I stopped there, a hand on my lips, trying to maintain the sobs. Edward took a step toward me, but I stopped him, my hand on his torso. I looked at him. "Do you think I don't know what people were saying? Your friends at school, even some of mine. That I did it on purpose to—to keep you."
Edward shook his head and stepped closer. "They don't know anything." Both his hands took my face and wiped the tears away. "I know you didn't do it on purpose, Bella." I closed my eyes and choked on a smile. He hadn't called me Bella in a very long time. "There was no way we could have known. Don't get me wrong, I adore Juliet with all of my being and couldn't imagine my life without her now, but—"
"You looked so miserable when I told you." I couldn't help it. I had to ask.
Edward stared at me a few moments, probably trying to understand the question under, the one I wasn't asking. His eyes were bright, probably teary, and hurt.
"I never blamed you," he clarified. "But I did wonder how it could have happened to us... twice."
I chocked a tiny laugh before I came back to the main question. "Don't you see it, Edward? You always did what you had to. The right thing to do. Always doing what people were expecting of you. But this one decision, giving up Law to write music instead; that wasn't something you would easily do. It was the first time in five years you took a decision for yourself."
"So you decided to thwart me with an ultimatum." He looked lost. And hurt.
"It wasn't mean this way! I just wanted to know, for this one time, if I had any value to you. If what you did all this time was truly just some kind of sacrifice, or if you had, at any moment, felt a little love for me at all. Instead, you told me you were miserable with us. With me."
He frowned, probably trying to get my meaning. "It wasn't you Bella. It was school, and the prospect of my future job as a lawyer that made me miserable. You and the girls were the only thing that kept me going." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You know, I saw it completely differently, that night. I had spent five years giving you everything I could, not by sacrifice, Bella, by love. For the girls and for you."
This time, it was my turn to close my eyes, trying to comprehend what he was telling me. He had loved me?
"Just this once, I was asking for myself, being a little bit selfish, maybe, I'll accord it to you, but it was the first and only time. And you refused me. You made me choose."
"I'm sorry," I cried.
He continued "So I thought, 'wow, she probably doesn't love me half the way I love her, or she wouldn't make me choose'. You have no idea how much that hurt."
"I would have come with you, you know."
"What?" He looked astonished.
"To L.A. For your music. I would have come."
A tear escaped him. "Then why instead did you put me to the test?" he cried.
"It wasn't a test!" I shrieked.
He took a step back, getting away from me, passing a hand through his wild hair. "It was. And I failed it."
"I'm sorry," I sobbed. "I was young and stupid. And heartbroken."
"Well," he said, looking sadder than I ever saw him. "We both were."
So here I am, with this new idea. The prologue will make more sense as we move further into the story. I kind of know where I'm going with this, as I have a few chapters written already.
The first few chapters are going to be half 'present', half 'the past' as I'm trying to explain Edward and Bella's early years, the start of their relationship; then we'll enter the actual story so please, bear with me.
This is my first fic in english (because all the Twilight fics I've ever read so far were in english and it just seemed to be the right thing to do) so a big THANK YOU to my beta, Subtlynice, without whom this project wouldn't even be possible. Special thanks to eyelubtwlight and Miss Wendy Malfoy for their help, support and advices. ღ
In this story there is gonna be sex, mistakes, fights, friendship, humour, and love. I'll try not to be overly dramatic; it's just for fun, you guys, but given the themes of this fic, it might have some angst. I'm just asking you to trust me when I mention a HEA.
YCTE is really just a small, unpretentious story that was stuck in my head for months now, and I decided to give it a try. Emma and Juliet are mine (there will be pictures of them in my profile), all disclamers go to Stephenie Meyer for her world and characters ©