What's Happening? Are Things Changing?
NCIS and characters do not belong to me.
One Saturday Abby decides to do something different then what she normally would on a Saturday, a walk in the park that could change her life and her mind about some things.
A mention of the Los Angeles NCIS Team is in this story.
CHAPTER 1: THOUGHTS AT THE PARK…
Abby did not know what was happening to her...She had always been happy with her life or so she thought…
Until about two and a half weeks ago, she decided to take a break from her usual Saturday activities.
She ended up at the park, just walking and then stopped when she heard laughter. She looked over and realized she was by a kids play ground.
She had started to do what she was doing now:
Watching the kids play on a playground, she didn't know why, but she had started to come every day after work since, if it was early enough when she got off.
Something in her was starting to change she was just having a hard time trying to figure out what.
She was a Goth who loved her job at NCIS and her lifestyle with no one to take care of, but her. She had her family and NCIS family and had dated over the years...
Of course, her taste in boyfriends did not seem to be that great.
Timothy McGee had been the exception out of all the men she had dated. They had a great relationship while it lasted and now they were still friends...BEST FRIENDS!
Other boyfriends she had stalked her and with others, well it just did not work out. Because her heart had been taken the moment she had heard and then met, Tim.
If she had always been so happy with her life the way it was, why did she feel like something in her life was missing now? What changed?
She did not know the answer to these questions, over the past couple of weeks she had been a little distracted as these new thoughts came to her.
Her thoughts now turned to Timothy McGee:
Her best friend...
She loved the way he was always there, but she her friendship with Tim for granted and broken Gibbs Rule 8: Never take anything for granted!
She had heard the voice of Timothy McGee on the phone during a case and he sounded cute to her. She asked Tony and he asked, 'If a guy could be cute to her without body art,'
In the end, Tony did tell her about Tim though.
After the case was over, she had met Tim for lunch and felt a sort of connection with him. They had gotten to know each other and Tim had even gotten a TATTO ON HIS A$$ TO IMPRESS HER!
Then they began to date, everything had been great.
Until he asked a question...'Where do you think our relationship is going?'
That had scared her and she broke up with him, but became best friends after that. She knew that even after she broke up with him he was still in love with her he had told her so in small ways. You would not know if you were not paying attention, but she had always known.
She thought of when they had dated and what they had now...
She gave him hugs and always knew when he needed one; the way they joked and teased each other...
If you listened close enough you could hear just what had been between the two of them. Even if they had broken up, it that was just the way, what they said came out.
They still flirted, that had not changed since they broke up; she was often jealous of the women he dated or flirted with...
THERE HAD BEEN ONE TIME HE HAD FLIRTED WITH A WOMEN IN HER LAB! HER LAB!
She could tell he was often jealous of the men she dated after they had broken up; she always knew when he was just outside her lab or staring at her; he always wanted to make sure she was safe and she thought back to something he had once said:
*If something ever happened to you, I'd...
He never finished and when she asked him what he would do. He had gotten a look on his face:
She knew what he meant without him having to say it.
He would not be able to live without her. Then had given him a hug in her own way of saying thank you.*
Always there and always trying to protect her, the rest of the team protected her too, but it was different with Tim and Abby had a feeling she knew why, because she loved him and not like a puppy as she had once told him, but she was in love with him...
'Wait, where had that thought come from?'
Then she realized it was true and a part of her had always known.
That is why she had been so scared to let their relationship get serious, scared if things did not work out they would no longer be friends. They had remained friends after she broke up with him though.
If they got back together and rekindled the relationship, they once had. If something happened:
She did not know if they would still be friends the second time around, and she could not stand that thought. Not friends with, Timothy McGee...it would destroy her and she didn't know what she would do. Every since she had started coming to the park to think and watch the kids play...
She started to think of what it would be like...
'To have a child of her own and be here watching him or her play.'
When she thought of having a child of her own, her first thought was what it would be like to have a child with would Tim as the father.
'If they had a child what would she/he look like? Would the child be like her or would the child be like, Tim?'
There was no way she could tell Tim she was still in love with him. It would not be right, because she had hurt him years ago when she had broken up with him and now. She didn't know if things would get better or if they would go bad.
She couldn't tell him the thoughts she was now having these thought about wanting to be married to him or that she wanted him to be the father of her baby. That was if she decided to have a child.
She was still unsure and these thoughts were still new to her.
She had ruined her chances of a relationship with, Tim when she had broken up with him. There was no way he would give her another chance, not after the way she had broken up with him.
She had many times taken advantage of him...
Jethro the German Shepard, she had forced him to take and well, that was just one example of a way she had taken advantage and used him.
She thought of, Tim and what she had lost with him when he asked her that question and she had responded:
'Why do things have to change? Why can't they just stay the way they are?'
If she could go back in time and change that she would, but she knew that was not possible.
Abby needed to talk to someone and wished...
Like, she always did when she needed someone to talk to she wished that Kate was still alive. That she had not been killed in the line of duty.
Sure, Abby knew she could talk to Gibbs, but she was not sure how to explain it to him. She knew that he had known how she and Tim had felt about each other at one time. He would know things had not changed that much and it was clear that Tim still really cared for her. She knew that Gibbs would understand that there was an exception to rule 12: Never date a co-worker.
Because of the fact her and Tim had dated before, Tim had officially joined the team.
There was no way she would talk to him about it, he would find new ways to pick on Tim and probably tell him.
Was always willing to listen, but if she told him. He would probably tell her it reminded him of a story and would start to tell her.
Had not been there when she had first met Tim and even though Ziva was now one her best friends. She didn't know how to explain everything to her. It was hard to explain how complicated her relationship with Tim was and how complicated it had always been.
So whom could she tell? Who would understand how she felt and what she was going through?
She knew Tim would eventually get married and start his own family, but she was now realizing...
Even though she wanted him to be happy and have a family, she didn't want him to end up with any women who could destroy him...as she herself had done. She wanted to be the one to marry him and have a family with him.
'Could she do forever though? What if her and Tim did get married, decided to have kids? Would her life get better or would something happen and make her lose it all? If they didn't work out and got divorced with kids involved, the kids would be hurt.'
The sound laughter from the kids was stopping, and then the kids were leaving the park with their parents.
It was only then Abby realized the sun was setting and she didn't know how long she had been sitting there.
Getting up and with one last look at the playground, she left her thoughts still on everything that could change in her future, but first...
Abby knew she had to just take that chance and get over her fears, she wasn't afraid of a lot of things, but the one thing she thought she had feared the most:
A committed relationship, getting married, and having kid, now she thought about, her feelings about that seemed to be changing and maybe it would not be such a bad thing after all...