Title: Wouldn't happen
Author: Shenandoah Risu
Rating:
G
Content Flags: wonky time stabilizers
Spoilers: Season 2 "Twin Destinies" and "Epilogue"
Characters: Adam Brody, the Destiny Crew
Word Count: 637
Summary: Why Brody hates kids.
Author's Notes: Written for prompt #077 at the LJ Comm sgu_challenge ("Of all the things that could have gone wrong this had to be the worst case. It wouldn't have happened if...")
Disclaimer: I don't own SGU. I wouldn't know what to do with it. Now, Young... Young I'd know what to do with. ;-)
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Please leave comments here at my LJ if it's not too much trouble.

oOo

Wouldn't happen

Of all the things that could have gone wrong this had to be the worst case. It wouldn't have happened if Brody wasn't such a dye-in-the-wool engineer with the work ethic of a logging mule.

As it was, the day had started out ordinarily enough, with Brody and Volker meandering through the ship, replacing burnt out Things-That-Make-It-Go and These-Things in various wall panels and relay stations.

"Why don't we give them an actual name," Volker had asked, "Instead of calling them Things-That-Make-It-Go and These-Things?" Brody had just grunted and muttered something about name recognition and the fact that everyone else seemed fine with the terms.

Arriving at a larger junction panel Volker had pointed at a complicated array inside.

"I wonder what that does?"

"Doesn't matter," Brody had sighed and pointed at a This-Thing that was quite obviously burnt out. Volker had pulled it from the panel while Brody had held the new part, and suddenly – zzzzappp, bing, woogawoogawooga, and Volker had stood there – a small red-haired boy, about 6 years old.

Brody had recoiled in abject terror while little Volker had started to cry.

"Oh man, this can't be happening," Brody had growled, backing away slowly from the panel and staring at the This-Thing in his hands. Kid-Volker had tugged at his pants. "Brody? What's going on?"

And Brody had held out his hand and they had beat a hasty retreat.

And that's when Brody had realized he was the only adult left on Destiny. Everyone else had turned into their own six-year old self.

There was Kid-Greer, playing patty cakes with Kid-Lisa who immediately snatched Kid-Volker for a game of jump rope.

"Cindereller, dressed in yeller…"

Brody fled to the Bridge where Kid-Rush, Kid-Eli and Kid-Chloe were arguing over a numbers game drawn out in unsteady chalk lines all over the floor. In the command chair Kid-Young was sitting completely still, his eyes verily bugging out of his head as Kid-TJ was playing "doctor" with him. Kid-Vanessa and Kid-Varro were racing each other down a hallway, with Kid-Matt and Kid-Camile cheering them on. Kid-Telford was lurking in the corridor by the mess, watching Kid-Becker make mud pies out of protein slop. Elsewhere Kid-Dunning and Kid-Barnes were playing soccer with a kino, while Kid-Morrison sat pouting in a corner by himself.

"No, no, no, this can't be happening," Brody wailed. "Why am I the only adult left on this damn ship?"

And sure enough, Kid-Gloria and Kid-Franklin shimmered into existence, pointing at him and laughing.

"You dead people are so mean," a little red-headed girl shook her tiny fist at them, then turned to Brody.

"Hello, Mr Brody," she said. "We'd all appreciate it very much if you could please put the XLNT time stabilizer relay back into the panel. The old one was burnt out and thus stuck in real-time. So either you put the old one back in or get used to a ship of brats."

Brody stared at her for a while. "Ginn?" he finally breathed.

She nodded. "Now go, before Dr. Perry decides this is hilarious and you're stuck like this forever."

Brody had no idea he could run this fast.

Of course, nobody else wanted to be a grown-up, so Brody found himself hotly pursued by a mob of angry children, and when he reached the panel he dove for the This-Thing and snapped it back into its place.

Suddenly it was eerily quiet.

Brody turned around slowly. There before him stood all the Destiny folks, staring at him in utter confusion.

It was Volker who saved the day. "Bravo, Brody," he yelled and clapped his hands. Cheers erupted, people patted each other on the back, and the crowd quickly dispersed.

Brody looked at the red-haired astrophysicist. "I really hate kids," he said.

Volker just shrugged.

"You're welcome."

oOo

oOo

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