They were dating. Dating. Brittany was dating her.
Santana's head was spinning as she drove back to Brittany's house after their Breadstix date. Their date. She was holding Brittany's hand – full on holding it, not just pinkies – as they drove, and when she sneaked a look over she saw that the blonde girl was grinning as much as she was.
They'd been dancing around the idea for months now, never going as far as they even had in the past, physically. And still following all the rules Santana had set down, formally or informally, about their activities beyond friendship.
No being totally naked. For some reason, as long as their bras or underwear were on, Santana felt like she could deny that they were having sex, even if her fingers were buried deep inside Brittany. Usually they didn't get undressed at all, and if they did, they undressed themselves, rather than each other.
No kissing on the mouth unless they were drunk or already having sex. Preferably, no kissing on the mouth at all. It stirred emotional feelings, in addition to a physical reaction. One day sophomore year, Santana was on her bed doing her math homework, and Brittany was on the floor trying to do hers. She had looked down and caught the blonde staring at her, and upon being caught, Brittany got up off the floor, climbed on top of Santana, and kissed her. Part of Santana was screaming that this was so, so right, but the part that won was screaming that it was so, so gay. She pushed Brittany off of her, shaking, and insisted they needed to get their homework done. Brittany didn't try that again.
Actually, if she thought about it, she realized that Brittany seemed to have a rule of her own, born by too many times being rejected or by trying to figure out Santana's rules - no starting anything. She always let Santana initiate sex, and never did anything that Santana hadn't done to her first.
Even after Brittany had broken one of the biggest rules (no talking about how they were more than friends) last year, leading to the breaking of Santana's emotional dam and eventually her coming out to herself, they'd still been following the rules. Even though they had said "I love you" to each other, and even though they had started fooling around again, they still hadn't kissed.
Even last week, when they'd had a bath in Brittany's parents' large tub. They'd had baths there in the past – it was a great way to relax after a hard Cheerios practice. But they always wore bikinis. When Britt had called and invited her over for a bath, she'd naturally worn her bathing suit. And even though Brittany had lit some candles in the bathroom, and even though Santana ended up laying on her , leaning back into breasts only covered by a thin bathing suit, they hadn't kissed.
As they pulled up at Brittany's house, she realized they were going to have to talk.
"My parents aren't home." Brittany offered with a grin.
Santana let Brittany lead her upstairs and shut the door. Before the blonde girl could do anything else, Santana sat down on her bed and looked up expectantly until Brittany joined her.
"Can we talk?" she asked hesitantly.
Brittany just nodded.
"So um, we're dating." She said, grinning.
Brittany grinned too. "Yep."
"I just thought maybe we should talk about what us dating means. Since we've had such a confusing relationship."
"So, one thing I realized is…I know I was crappy to you when we were 'just friends' and I had a lot of rules that made me feel safe, but I think they hurt you."
"Like how you don't like it when I kiss you?" she looked down.
"Oh god, Britt, it's not that I didn't like it, it's that I liked it way too much. It scared me. But that's the thing, now that we are dating…I don't want you to think you can't do things like that."
Brittany looked at her, seeming confused. She tried again.
"I freaked out when you did those things because it made me feel like we were dating. But now we are dating. So it's okay to do them."
"So…if I wanted to kiss you?"
"Then you should kiss me." Santana said softly. Brittany leaned in and gently pressed a kiss to her lips.
"I want you to feel comfortable to do what you want, Britt. Like you would if you were dating anyone else." She suddenly thought of something. "But um…I mean when we are alone. I'm working on coming out, I am, but until then…at school…"
"We'll just be friends at school. It's okay, San, I get it. For now. Does this mean you're my girlfriend?" she asked.
"Do you want me to be?"
Brittany nodded with a grin.
Santana grinned too. "Then yes. I'm your girlfriend, and you're mine." She thought of something else.
"So um…remember how we used to say it wasn't cheating if the plumbing's different?"
"I don't think that was true, Santana."
"Yeah, it wasn't. I thought if it wasn't really sex, if it wasn't really gay, then it couldn't be cheating. I know I was wrong."
"So no hooking up with other people, because that's cheating." Brittany announced.
"So um, how long until your parents come home?"
Brittany smiled, leaned in, and kissed her again. "Christy has a soccer tournament tomorrow in Kentucky. They're staying in a hotel there."
Santana decided to show Brittany just how much she meant her earlier words. She kissed her girlfriend again, running her hands through her hair. After a few moments, she let her hands wander down to her Cheerio top and work their way under. She struggled to get the top undone, and Brittany broke the kiss and giggled at her. Santana scowled.
"Hang on." Brittany stood up and crossed the room to her dresser, where she had two decorative candles. She dug around in a drawer, finally coming up with a matchbox, and lit them. She went to the door and switched off the main light. Between the candles and the light coming in from the window, Santana could still see her perfectly well, but it was much more romantic. As she headed back toward Santana, she pulled her top off.
"Hey, I was going to do that."
"It's okay, San, it's the thought that counts, and you tried. I promise I'll let you take my skirt off." She teased.
Santana stood up to meet her and kissed her again.
"I like this new kissing rule." Brittany breathed into her ear after they broke apart. She kissed Santana's collarbone as she undid the shorter girl's top and removed it much more deftly than Santana's attempt.
Santana wordlessly unzipped Brittany's skirt, letting it fall to the floor. "Me too." She said as she undid her bra too, sliding it off and discarding it. For the first time in her life with Brittany, she allowed herself to do whatever she wanted. She dropped her lips to the top of her now-revealed breasts, kissing the skin there. Brittany responded by removing her bra, and quickly moving down to her skirt. She unzipped it. As it fell to the ground, she toyed with the elastic to Santana's underwear, uncertainly filling her even though Santana had said things were different.
"You can take them off." Santana whispered.
As they too dropped to the floor, Santana pushed Brittany back toward the bed. She lay back on it, tensing slightly with desire as Santana settled herself on top of her, kissing her again. Their breasts pressed against each other, and she let her hands roam across Santana's back. Santana began kissing her body now, only hesitating a moment before taking a nipple in her mouth tentatively. Brittany let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, and arched her body into her girlfriend's. She could feel Santana's arousal on her leg, and she knew her own was not being contained by the underwear she was still wearing. Santana lavished attention on her other breast as well before moving down to her stomach. Brittany's mind raced as her girlfriend's lips went further and further down. They'd never done anything like this, and it was amazing. Was Santana really going to do what she thought she was? As she swirled her tongue around Brittany's belly button, her fingers played with the top of her underwear. She was kneeling between Brittany's legs now, which had spread somehow on their own. She pulled the underwear down an inch, allowing her to kiss skin that had been covered by it. She looked up at Brittany, trying to make sure what she was doing was okay. Brittany for her part wasn't about to stop what was happening. She lifted her hips slightly as she met Santana's eyes, wordlessly giving her permission. Santana slid the underwear down. As she pulled them down off her legs, she paused to look where she'd never let herself look before. She was overcome by emotion and by how beautiful Brittany looked, laying on her bed naked, wanting her. She momentarily deviated from her plan, coming up to kiss the blonde again. But before Brittany could think that she wasn't going to keep going, she lifted herself up again and sat back on her knees. She made sure to make eye contact before slowly lowering her head to Brittany's center. Tentatively, she reached out her tongue to glide up between Brittany's lips. She knew instantly when she brushed her clit, as Brittany cried out and pressed her hips upward. She explored, returning to press slightly into her vagina, and then up to circle her clit, which seemed to give her more pleasure. As she became more comfortable, she reached her hand up to caress Brittany's breast, but Brittany grabbed it instead. As her girlfriend's orgasm washed over her, she squeezed Santana's hand. Santana slowed her tongue's motions, amazed at how different it was to give Brittany an orgasm in such an intimate way.
As soon as Brittany's body stopped shaking, she pulled on the hand she was still clutching, pulling her girlfriend up into an embrace.
"Before you can say 'I told you so' – you're right, okay, Britt. It is better with feelings." Santana felt tears coming to her eyes, and she brushed them away, annoyed at herself. Brittany just smiled and pushed her over onto her back.
"I wasn't going to say it. But I did. Tell you so."
"You're so smart, Britt." Santana whispered.
Brittany kissed her face, kissing away the tears.
"Just wait until you feel what that felt like for me." She whispered. She proceeded down Santana's body. The darker girl almost came just from the feeling of one nipple in Brittany's mouth, and the other being rolled in her fingers. She trembled with anticipation as Brittany neared the apex of her legs, and she cried out when she felt Brittany's tongue on her clit. She was so turned on that Brittany hardly got to explore at all. A few more strokes to her clit and she was done, letting the orgasm wash over her and for the first time ever, allowing two syllables to cross her lips.