"Yo, it's Chris McLean here, coming at you with another season of Total Drama. So last time we had a short as hell season where Cameron beat Lightning in the finale, and I was arrested. Luckily, Chef broke me out, and brutally murdered the fiends that captured me. But enough about that boring stuff, here we are for Season 5! So we decided to keep being original with our location ideas. First was a summer camp, then a movie lot, then around the world, and finally a radioactive summer camp. So this season will take place in a RADIOACTIVE MOVIE LOT! Pretty sweet right? So let's welcome the contestants."

A big bus comes by and drops off Heather, Gwen, Ezekiel, Duncan, Courtney, Alejandro, Lindsay, Izzy, Noah, Cody, Bridgette, Owen, , Blaineley, Sierra, Justin, Harold, Trent, Tyler, Leshawna, DJ, Katie, Sadie, Geoff, Eva, and Beth.

"It's the veterans! Alright and now for the next batch of contestants."

Another bus comes by and drops off Cameron, Lightning, Mike, Zoey, Scott, Jo, Brick, Dawn, B, Dakota, Anne Maria, Staci, and Sam.

"And the douche bags from last season! Alright!"

"So are we-"

"Shut the hell up Staci, you're not allowed to speak. Plus, all the competitors aren't here yet. We have a newcomer this season. He should be here any minute now."

Just then, over the horizon, a vehicle appeared. It was indeed another bus, but no where near the same as the previous two. This bus was made of solid gold, with flames bursting out of the exhaust pipes. Flame patterns ran up the side of the bus, while the gem encrusted rims on the tires shined brightly in the sunlight. Everyone, including Chris and Chef, who decided to also appear for the hell of it, watched the amazing sight with their mouths agape. The bus came to a stop next to them, and the door swung open. As the door opened, angels could be heard singing in the background, as dozens of doves flew out of the bus. Behind them was the newcomer who stepped out of the bus. He was tall and handsome, his open shirt showing his six pack, and torn off sleeves revealing his other amazing muscles. His messy flowing locks of brown hair was a sight amazing enough to make most girls orgasm on the spot, which Beth actually did coincedintally.

"Oh my," Chris blurted out. "Who are you?"

"My name..." the mysterious and god like man started. "My name is Ozzy Collins. You can call me OC for short." Angels began to sing even louder as Ozzy uttered his name. "I am here to compete in the new season."

"Wow...he's sooooo dreamy," Lindsay said, admiring Ozzy's physique.

"Oh go on. I'm not so special. I've only graduated Magnum Cum Laude from Harvard, cured cancer, and ended world hunger. I'm no different than any of you. I'm just here for a friendly competition."

"He's so dang HOT," Izzy yelled out.

"I'm just going to say what everyone else here is thinking...I want to have sex with him," Heather stated.

Every other female contestant nodded their heads in agreement.

"Me too!" Owen added. Instead of showing signs of confusions like they did when Owen would make remarks about Justin, the other males, including Chris and Chef, all nodded in agreement.

"Sorry boys, but I don't swing that way." The males all hung their heads in shame at Ozzy's words. "But the ladies, I think I'll have to take them up on their offer." The females all squealed with joy.

"Hey now," Tyler said, cutting in. "Some of them are our girlfriends."

Alejandro, Owen, Geoff, Duncan, Mike, and Sam all backed up Tyler to defend their relationships with their respective girlfriends.

"Is that right?" Ozzy replied, his voice alone being manly enough to make Beth once again climax. "Well then let me just-"

Before he could finish his sentence, Ozzy let out a punch that hit Tyler, Alejandro, Owen, Geoff, Duncan, Mike, and Sam with a single hit. The blow was so devastating that it tossed them into the air and flew them all the way to Belgium. They died as soon as they hit the ground.

The other males had watched those fellow contestants fly through the air in awe, impressed at the Adonis strength that Ozzy possessed.

"Now where were we?"

Ozzy took all of the Total Drama girls to a nice hotel that randomly decided to be in the same place as them, and took them to the penthouse suite, because he was rich and could easily afford it.

One by one Heather, Gwen, Courtney, Lindsay, Izzy, Bridgette, Blaineley, Sierra, Leshawna, Katie, Sadie, Eva, Beth, Zoey, Jo, Dawn, Dakota, Anne Maria, and Staci all undressed for Ozzy. And then they did it.

The sex lasted for days. It was an amazing orgy, and Ozzy made sure no girl went unsatisfied. Using his manly powers of manliness, he made sweet, sweet love to all the girls. And the sensation was amazing.

The intense love making was so strong, that Katie, Sadie, and Staci couldn't handle it and died. No one gave a damn, because it was Katie, Sadie, and Staci.

Some girls were more durable than other, such as Dawn, Eva, and Jo, so Ozzy had extra sex with them so they could be properly satisfied. A week later, when the orgy was completed, Ozzy and the girls, minus the three ones that were now dead, left the hotel. They didn't clean up the mess they had made, but the cleaning staff didn't care, as they felt honored to clean up the aftermath of an Ozzy Collins orgy. The girls and OC returned to where Chris, Chef, and the remaining males were, telling stories about how amazing they thought Ozzy was.

"Well I'm back guys, ready to start the new season?"

"Actually Ozzy, we have all agreed that you are too badass to be defeated. If you were to compete in this season, you would win every challenge with ease. So it is for that reason that we have decided to skip the season and just give you the prize money right now."

Chris handed the briefcase full of money to Ozzy.

"Congrats, you are the winner of this season!"

"Thank you Chris. Are you sure you'll be ok with such a short season?"

"We'll be fine. We'll just air the footage of your sex with the girls in place of the episodes."

"Sounds good to me."

And so it happened. When the time came for Season 5 to be aired, the world was graced by the footage of Ozzy Collins making love with the girls of Total Drama. As a result, they also witnessed the deaths of Katie, Sadie, and Staci, but they didn't care because it was still Katie, Sadie, and Staci. This season of Total Drama was not only the most popular season, but the most popular TV show in history, with Billions of people tuning in to see the glory of OC.

Chris was exstatic about the success of the 5th season of Total Drama and wasted no time in making a season 6. However, because the season did not feature Ozzy Collins, the citizens of the world revolted and chaos ran wild. After weeks of craziness, everyone died. Everyone, that is, except for Ozzy Collins of course. And Ezekiel, Mr. Coconut, Scott, and Brick, because they're just awesome like that, and because I say so. Together, the 5 of them got in to Ozzy's space ship, which was totally made out of gold, and flew it to Mars. Once they got there, they partied with aliens until the end of time.

THE END