What Lies Beneath

Take a breath; hold it in
Start a fight you won't win
Had enough; let's begin
I don't care

All in all you're no good
You don't cry like you should
Let it go if you could
When love dies in the end

Rachel stood looking out the window as she sipped her coffee. A pair of arms slipped around her waist and she sighed. "You came home late again."

"I'm sorry," Quinn said. "I had so much work to do."

"Like you have for the past two months."

"I'm sorry," Quinn repeated, kissing her wife's temple. "But I'm all yours this weekend. And I'll be home at a decent hour all next week. Promise."

Rachel said nothing, but nodded. She felt Quinn smile into her shoulder.

"Go wake our daughter up. I'll make breakfast," the blonde said.

"Okay," Rachel said, smiling slightly. She kissed Quinn's cheek as she passed.

So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life

Rachel cried as she got ready for bed. She wished it was an affair. She wished she could be like thousands of other people who knew that when their spouses came home late, they'd been with someone else. But she knew Quinn, and she was just as smart as when she'd been a Broadway-chasing loudmouth in high school. The weeks Quinn came home to her and their daughter were the weeks the news channels went quiet.

Rachel knew it wasn't an affair.

Here we go; does it hurt
Say goodbye to this world
I will not be undone
Come to life
It gets worse

All in all
You're no good
You don't cry like you should
I'll be gone when you fall
Your sad life says it all

She should've left. She'd had a hunch for months—a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. She should've left the night Quinn came home covered in blood.


"No! Don't talk to me," Rachel said through tears. She backed up against her dresser, trying to figure out how to get Megan and get out of the house without Quinn catching them.

"Let me explain," Quinn said.

"You don't need to. The news has been doing the explaining for you for the last six months."

"Rachel, please…. I need to shower, but I want to talk to you. Don't leave."

As soon as Quinn had gotten into the shower, Rachel stumbled out of the room and ran down the hall to their daughter's room. She was sleeping soundly. Rachel stood rooted to the spot, crying. Her mind was shouting "Run!" but her body wasn't cooperating.

A hand ran through her hair. "You know I'd never hurt you. Either of you," Quinn said.

"Quinn…you're killing people."

"I'm making the world safer for our daughter. For David and Blaine's son. For Kurt's twins. This city is crawling with the most disgusting—"

"So you'd become something you hate?"

"No," Quinn said forcefully. "No, I'm not like them. I'm not a rapist, or a child molester. I'm not a mur—I don't kill in cold blood."

Rachel stared at her. Stared at the woman she once loved, but no longer knew.

"I swear I'd never hurt you," Quinn insisted quietly. She wrapped Rachel in a hug. "I love you both. You know that."

Rachel should've left that night. But she didn't.

Don't carry me under
You're the devil in disguise
God sing for the hopeless
I'm the one you left behind

David and Blaine came to stay with her the day the police caught Quinn. They didn't let the news reporters within ten feet of the door. If they needed anything, David went out. No one was about to mess with a 250 pound former NFL star.

The investigators came to talk to her that same day.

"Did you know she was the Checker Killer?"

"Not…not at first."

"But you suspected."

"After a while, yes."

"When did you know for sure?"

"There was…there was a night she came home…."

The FBI agent didn't make her continue. "But you stayed. Why?"

I loved her. "I was scared."

"Did she threaten you?"

Not even once. Rachel shrugged.

"You're a very brave woman, Mrs. Fabray."

Fuck off. "Thank you."

Santana came back from her business trip when the case made the international news. She went with Rachel to Quinn's final visitation—the day before the execution.

"I love you," was all Quinn said. "I love Megan."

The guards took her away.

Rachel fell into Santana's arms, sobbing.

So I'll find what lies beneath
Your sick twisted smile
As I lie underneath
Your cold jaded eyes
Now you turn the tide on me
'Cause you're so unkind
I will always be here
For the rest of my life

It was four years before Rachel could visit the grave. She always came during the day, when Megan was at school. She placed flowers on Quinn's grave which, to keep vandals away, read Lucy Megan Ross (using her mother's maiden name).

"I love you, too."